Most men catch feelings for their female friends, women rarely for their male buddies

fuckthemoddsofreddit · 2023-07-31T15:31:21+00:00

Hm, I agree with this but isnt that at odds with all the women of PPD who claim women value personality so much?

If someone wants to be friends with you, clearly they like your personality. Otherwise, why would you be their friend?

So why are women not interested in all these men who have good personalities and only want to be friends?

Hmm, its almost like physical attraction is the barrier to entry and personality without that means friendzone.

sunshinevante · 2023-07-31T15:22:56+00:00

23F, so my observation with this...I have witness my guy friend pursue after our mutual friend for months and she rejected him several times... she claims she doesnt find him physically attractive yet she's emotionally invested into guys who string her along & or her crappy ex mostly i feel for her own validation. I had to teach her that sexual attraction, aesthetics/ physical attraction and emotionally attraction are not all the same & sometimes always be 10/10 across all categories, she was shocked when I told her that so I wouldn't be surprised if other girls are aware of that knowledge as well.

I will also say ask yourself you are dealing w a friend who is low self esteem, poor dating history, and/or emotionally unavailable AND lack awareness of those things then yeah she will probably never catch feelings instead chase validation from "attractive" guys who treat her like crap.

I also can attest to this from personal experience until I went to therapy realized im part of the problem lmao & also girls want what other girls want so if you aren't attractive to her friends then good luck

Due_Author350 · 2023-07-31T14:38:24+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2023-07-31T14:44:50+00:00

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Cool_Ranch_2511 · 2023-07-31T19:43:03+00:00

Just another great reason to not be friends with women imo

LaPolloGrande · 2023-07-31T19:58:24+00:00

I’m “open to” being promoted to CEO of my company. I don’t expect to be, nor am I actively pursuing it.

That phrasing has no real world meaning

daddysgotanew · 2023-07-31T21:36:45+00:00

Most women aren’t attracted to most men. Water is wet…

Women also don’t have to become “friends” with men to get fucked. They can just cut straight to it. Less desirable men on the other hand don’t have this option. They will often befriend women hoping that there will be a “slow burn” attachment built over time even though she’s repulsed by the thought of stroking his penis but sees him as an easy and reliable source of platonic male attention to feed her ego.

It’s a predictable tale, one as old as time itself. Eve had imaginary simps in the friendzone while Adam was giving her the mushroom head in the garden. Shit never changes.

obviousredflag · 2023-07-31T16:02:30+00:00

But stats don't really show it.

WHICH STATS?! You just pulled those numbers out of your ass!

fvckit88 · 2023-08-01T02:29:02+00:00

From what I’ve seen in my friend groups. Guys aren’t likely to be friends with someone they don’t find attractive while they’re single (whether we realize it or not). Girls have no problem being friends with someone they’re not attracted to.

So guys all of a sudden realize this friend is actually cool and they are attractive and so they fall for her.

Girls find out this friend is actually cool but there may not be an attraction and so it never happens.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-07-31T15:01:29+00:00

Nearly all of my LTRS started out as friends and became something more. I only ever met one guy at a bar and I certainly didn't fuck him in the restroom 30 minutes after meeting him - we exchanged numbers, went out a few times, and had sex after maybe a month. I guess technically I met my husband at a bar as well, but he was the bartender at my only neighborhood restaurant and I was a regular customer, which is different than getting picked up at a bar, to me.

Most men I've dated I met at work or school or in my friends circle or even as neighbors, got to know them, started to like them, and boom a relationship blossomed. I tend to reject most cold approaches (excepting maybe bar guy up above). I tend to be reserved around strangers and even with friends who I'm not that close to. My best girl friend has said that she thought I was a bitch when she first met me, until she figured out I'm just quiet and a little shy. So that's me with men who cold approach - aloof, not bubbly or flirty.

Anyway, finding a girl bangable is not the same as developing feelings, unless the feeling is horniness. I will just add my husband is definitely my best friend, so it's also possible to be horny for your best buddy.

abaxeron · 2023-07-31T16:36:29+00:00

It very much depends on age / "a place in life" women are in. Depending on how much money a woman wasted trying to freeze eggs, how many kids she's raising alone, how much debt she has accumulated, how much money she needs to maintain her addictions to unprescribed medications... she'll "catch feelings" more and more easily. And if she finds out that she got pregnant recently, Oof! All the feelings might be caught in very short time span.

We shouldn't generalize the behavior common among late teens/early 20s (when women quite honestly have the world at their feet) onto entirety of human experience.

Sophiatab · 2023-07-31T23:10:07+00:00

Women catch feelings for their male buddies all the time, at probably the same rate men catch feelings for their female friends. The big difference is more women aren't going to throw away a good friendship for sex. We watch how men treat their friends and how they treat the women they just sleep with. Let's face it most of you guys treat your buddies better than your lovers. Why would any woman want to trade being a friend that is respected for being a lover that can be abused and discarded?

KayRay1994 · 2023-07-31T15:07:34+00:00

all it does is show that guys fall for their female friends way more than girls fall for their male friends, nothing more lmfao - and this does align perfectly with the fact that guys are usually thirstier and far less comfortable single than women.

This also aligns with the fact that women are more selective than men as well.

But ultimately, the facts just don’t agree with your conclusions - prior to the existence of dating apps, friends were how people met, and nowadays, meeting through friends is still the 3d most common way after apps and nightlife.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-07-31T16:25:31+00:00

Yeah I have a lot of male friends who have complained to me about how hot their exes were. I supported them through everything yet I can't help but feel that if I was hotter they wouldn't bring up their ex. Ofc most of them admitted they liked me but after all that talk about their exs boobs I was like "yeah I don't think we are compatible" bc they'd always be comparing me to women they had before.

Anyways my current bf never complained about his exes to me. I started messaging him for several months before he made a move on me and he was always indifferent about his exes which was a green flag imo

Barneysparky · 2023-07-31T14:59:22+00:00

If you mean feelings like, I'd put my penis in her sure. If you mean romantic feelings no, men are not more likely to catch romantic feeling then women are.

Twinseo09 · 2023-07-31T16:03:03+00:00

Because men only befriended women they are attracted to. Women befriend people simply because they think they are cool and want to be around them.

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-07-31T14:38:36+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2023-07-31T14:39:36+00:00

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Orangematcha · 2023-07-31T16:47:28+00:00

I’d say one reason for this is men don’t necessarily try to make different groups of friends nor meet new people. This is normal and easier to do in a school setting but once that’s over it is harder for them to meet new people due to their lack of experience and attempts. It is hard to meet new people in general, it’s even harder without the attempt or skills to do so.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-07-31T22:27:50+00:00

Men “catch feelings” because they only befriend women they’re attracted to. Women will befriend men they like as people but aren’t necessarily attracted to.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-07-31T18:16:48+00:00

The simple fact is that men do get crushes on their friends because they won't even acknowledge a woman who he doesn't find attractive, let alone become friends.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-07-31T15:03:53+00:00

Women do a lot. Men just don't often hear about it. If you're a female friend you often get your ear talked off about it unfortunately. I wouldn't say it's most men either, maybe most men who only have like one female friend but otherwise no. For both men and women who catch feelings for friends, it usually isn't reciprocated (although it's awesome when it is). Having to know someone better to be into them doesn't imply you crush on everyone you know well either (it's necessary not sufficient), just that your crushes are only people you know well.

LessInformations · 2023-07-31T17:00:03+00:00

Yeah, most men would fuck their female friends, but they are not falling in love with them.

Women are affected by the oneitis far more often than men. Women really, really fall in love with their close male friends. It's something that is still very peculiar to me, some women really like that "connection," and when it happens, they REALLY fall in love, no matter how the guy looks.

Guys, on the other hand, just wanna fuck tight-ass hoes, even though they are their friends.

tinasnow-poty · 2023-07-31T17:02:13+00:00

Wanting to bang =! catching feelings. Just because you’re friends with someone doesn’t mean you would be romantically compatible and a lot of guys know this, but would still bang if the opportunity came up as a once off.

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-07-31T14:41:14+00:00

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lolmastr13 · 2023-07-31T17:09:50+00:00

Sex? Yes. Romance? No.

Although it’s possible that men choose to be friends with women they find attractive to a greater extent than women do

FaruinPeru · 2023-08-01T07:04:11+00:00

that’s a very reasonable ratio

Johnny_Autism · 2023-07-31T16:40:30+00:00

Most guys tend to act wildly different around women when they catch feelings, and it's not in an attractive way.

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BobtheAxieManager · 2023-07-31T17:03:33+00:00

Having female friends that you are attracted to is simp behavior.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2023-07-31T18:11:14+00:00

Or go with me: both parties are in relationships and are just friends. And those relationships they are in started as just friends.

BeneficialRush4171 · 2023-07-31T18:13:34+00:00

Completely disagree. Getting to know a man well and feeling you can really trust and depend on him to do the right thing can absolutely spark or increase feelings for him. This would only be true if he wasn’t a good person or the reliable type.

MotherPermit9585 · 2023-07-31T18:48:44+00:00

My only male friends are current or former lovers (my husband and I are ethically non-monogamous) or they are gay men.

Stop_Maximum · 2023-07-31T19:02:04+00:00

I don’t necessarily agree, it depends on who the individuals are. Some men end up falling in love with their female/male friends, some women end up falling in love with their female/male friends. It literally depends on the individual, you can’t stop feelings. If the friends is attractive it might happen, the reason one might be higher than the other is because some people struggle to build genuine relationships/friendships

Sad_and_grossed_out · 2023-07-31T20:40:33+00:00

I knew my husband for almost two years before we started dating romantically.

Honestly all of the men I dated long term I knew in my social circles beforehand for at least a year. I only went on two cold approach dates when I was younger and it was weird and didn't go anywhere either time.

OfSpock · 2023-07-31T23:46:40+00:00

If a woman has ten friends and eight of them are interested in her and she is interested in two of them and dates one, then she is not lying but most of the men are not going to date her.

WistfulPuellaMagi · 2023-08-01T00:07:57+00:00

My bf says more girls crushed on him than he crushed on them lol.

LiveYour_BestLife · 2023-09-04T18:47:48+00:00

I was in love with my best friend. He just didn’t like me the Same way I like him. Oh well

Title	Most men catch feelings for their female friends, women rarely for their male buddies
Author	Johnny_Autism
Upvotes	68
Comments	211
Date	July 31, 2023 2:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15ehw7z/most_men_catch_feelings_for_their_female_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-men-catch-feelings-for-their-female-friends.1227116 https://theredarchive.com/post/1227116

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