The consensus here is that unless a man is an absolute specimen he can expect to get dropped for simply looking at a lady the wrong way - but the reality doesn’t line up

wtknight · 2023-10-16T14:59:19+00:00

Flaired CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim

MboloYaBaKali · 2023-10-16T07:00:56+00:00

Don’t just look around at all the shorter, balding, chinless, acne ridden, lazy eyed, pudgy, fashionless, squeaky voiced, dumb, boring, poor, unemployed, remarkably ordinary guys in relationships

I don't know where you live, but I know very few men under the age of 30 with these characterstics and are in a relationship. Most men south of 30 say unless you're rich, famous or irritatingly handsome, dating is unbearably tedious and I have seen them struggle.

have a look at other subreddits here and have a think about things you’ve heard ladies complain about - it seems like most guys can actually get away with a hell of a lot, stuff that this subreddit would insist is a dealbreaker in 99% of cases.

Which other subreddits? A look at FDS, TwoX and even AskWomen seem to vindicate the hypothesis that women will dump a guy for some of the simplest things.

George69143 · 2023-10-16T06:51:34+00:00

Most men are unattractive to women. The bar is most definitely higher for men. Just because you know outliers does not mean this is not a common trend.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-10-16T07:00:01+00:00

Obviously, the more extreme manosphere whinging is overdone and hyperbolic. However, men also say they want an enthusiastic sexual partner who truly finds them attractive. And while sex every day isn't to be expected as you age and get kids, men don't want the sex faucet to turn off entirely or be set to 'duty sex on Sundays' only. Men also do not want women to get bored or tired of them after the heavy lifting part of raising kids is done, and then initiate divorce, taking all custody. Men also expect to pair with a woman whose SMV ranking among women is not far off his rank among men.

We are sensitive to small changes in degree in the SMP. It doesn't have to be sexual Armageddon for problems to be arising. The Wal*Mart touch grass check only goes so far. Wal*Mart can be full of what seem like looksmatched pairings of all kinds, and trouble can still be brewing.

TonytheNetworker · 2023-10-16T08:15:03+00:00

Many guys today know exactly how fucked they are. They know many women don’t truly desire them, they know that these women have options, they are happy to have an average women or even below average women because they have no one checking for them. It’s the reason why women can casually have sex with many guys and not have to worry about “her past” because the average man has no choice but to accept it. What’s he going to do anyway, shrink back into lonely nights? Of course there’s average guys in relationships but that’s increasingly rare as the standards have went way up.

l00ks-p1lled · 2023-10-16T10:10:58+00:00

1 unattractive/undesirable man getting a relationship for once doesn't take away the suffering and the loneliness of other 99 unattractive men

Ex_Machina_1 · 2023-10-16T13:14:28+00:00

The consensus here seems to be held by guys who spend most of their time on dating apps and social media. In the real world, you'll find people with different levels of attractiveness being in relationships and getting along just fine. Last time i checked, every couple walking down the street didnt consist entirely of a traditionally attractive women and a guy who has superior athletic form, worth millions and is 6'5" or more. Just because some women go for male celebrities doesnt everyome does. I regularly see couples that would completely destroy these clueless guy's idea of what relationships look like.

ChevalierAuChocolat · 2023-10-16T13:29:48+00:00

Don’t just look around at all the shorter, balding, chinless, acne ridden, lazy eyed, pudgy, fashionless, squeaky voiced, dumb, boring, poor, unemployed, remarkably ordinary guys in relationships

Genuine question, has anyone ever seen a man with all of those traits that is in a relationship?

TechnicalMiddle8205 · 2023-10-16T07:30:51+00:00

I disagree. All people who use this argument are basically in a confirmation bias. Please take into account the following:

Older generations have it way easier to date. It might be easier to find those cases you mentioned if they are oldest generations. However, according to several sources, younger men are more doomed.
As well as the fact that this case is not as common as you make it out to be, the thing is that unknown people you see in the street is NOT a clear indicator. What do you even know about them? It is very probable that, if hes way uglier than her, he is simping and she is using him just for his money. It is not something that uncommon in such relationships. It is very easy indeed to find a girlfriend if you have money enough, I agree with that. But what kind of relationship is that? Isnt it better to be alone? You assume it is for his personality, but it is not that reasonable to assume that
Taking into account the point number 2, the confirmation bias lies on the fact that when you see the not-that-common case of a woman with an ugly man, you inmediately assume it is because of his "personality and confidence". But when we see many and many ugly men complaining about loneliness either on the internet or on the real life just for being ugly, you dismiss this example and put the blame on his personality. Fully focusing on those fortunate men and consider them as "the example of the only truth", while denying, invalidating and trying to ignore any case which says otherwise is jusy cherry-picking. Dont you realise that it is nearly impossible for someone to admit that being ugly enough means being doomed? With this mindset, what would it even need to happen for people to admit that it is not as easy as you say?

YouShouldGetLaid · 2023-10-16T13:17:21+00:00

I agree. Women put up with insane amounts of shit from low quality men.

Goes the other way around too.

Both sexes suffer from sunk cost fallacies.

ROBYoutube · 2023-10-16T05:59:12+00:00

Easy to say: Dating today is too hard and my catastrophic failure is a typical experience!

Less easy to say: Dating today is different but I lack literally all of the skills necessary to date under any circumstances; I am the bottom single digit percentile of the modern 'man' and it is absolutely normal and expected that I will struggle.

Currentlycurious1 · 2023-10-16T05:56:44+00:00

What's your explanation for rising barometers of people living romantically and sexually unfilling lives, especially men?

Also, when men want to vent about difficulties in their dating lives, do you think your response here is the proper one?

LegAdventurous3165 · 2023-10-16T06:42:11+00:00

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean anything.

Most guys can get into A relationship. That doesn’t mean it’s good or preferable.

Suspicious-Bed-2717 · 2023-10-16T17:56:37+00:00

Outliers are not the status qou. I'm a short young hispanic guy and guess what? Dating is hell for myself and tons of other guys. I've seen better looking guys than me still single.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2023-10-16T14:14:01+00:00

Women set rules for the BB, and break them for the AF.

Any guy who is conventionally unattractive and in a relationship with an attractive enough woman is likely following so many rules and orders. He walks on eggshells all day, everything is his fault and never hers, and he allows her to get away with some truly reprehensible and sociopathic behavior.

If you befriended him and got him talking honestly, he would probably tell you he's miserable. The blue pill fantasy is that he's doing great and the relationship augments his life in a positive way.

Wattehfok · 2023-10-16T08:20:08+00:00

Dude - you can't win with these clowns.

If you're struggling in dating, it's not because you're doing something you can change to improve your chances - it's because your skull is the wrong shape and women something something hypergamy.

If you're in a relationship it's either because you're Chad or you're actually very unhappy and the woman is certainly going to leave you because something something hypergamy.

If you say you're in a happy relationship you're lying.

Oy.

13choppedup2chopped · 2023-10-16T06:06:05+00:00

So, you’re saying it’s just a matter of degree?

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Administrative-Lie85 · 2023-10-16T10:08:17+00:00

Women are not mating with 'Chads.' Women are mating with dysgenic men.

SlurpDurpPerp · 2023-10-16T10:49:04+00:00

The real reason is that most redditors have undiagnosed autism or have personalities that are nerdy and autism adjacent. Most of the foreveralone community is single because they are unknowingly on the spectrum. There are a few exceptions of course but not many. Neurotypical people just more easily drift through life and connect with others regardless of looks.

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-10-16T12:59:38+00:00

Hmm, our social circle definitely has women married to men were not sure why she married him, and less why she stays married.

But they have kids and divorce is a pain, so lazy maybe?

harmonica2 · 2023-10-16T15:14:23+00:00

I also see guys who are more average looking in relationships so I wonder why guys I'm here do not see that.

purplish_possum · 2023-10-16T19:43:30+00:00

My first ex-wife literally knocked me on my ass when I turned my head to look at another girl in booty shorts on a nice hot summer day. Only time I've ever been knocked down with a punch.

bifewova234 · 2023-10-16T22:41:41+00:00

Its not even a consensus. Its just a bunch of annoying people spouting bologna for god knows what purpose.

depressed_apple20 · 2023-10-17T00:30:03+00:00

Don’t just look around at all the shorter, balding, chinless, acne ridden, lazy eyed, pudgy, fashionless, squeaky voiced, dumb, boring, poor, unemployed, remarkably ordinary guys in relationships

Those guys are rare, most guys who can have sex with a non-zero amount of women are attractive, at least way more attractive than me.

Maelas84 · 2023-10-17T07:57:26+00:00

I agree with you here. What we are seeing is a loud minority on social media trying to make these issues the forefront...They are far less of an issue than people actually think. People just need to chill and let things happen.

Title	The consensus here is that unless a man is an absolute specimen he can expect to get dropped for simply looking at a lady the wrong way - but the reality doesn’t line up
Author	StaticNocturne
Upvotes	22
Comments	199
Date	October 16, 2023 5:35 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/178ysfx/the_consensus_here_is_that_unless_a_man_is_an/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-consensus-here-is-that-unless-a-man-is-an.1235293 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235293

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