Women, what do women need to improve?

leosandlattes · 2023-12-01T05:28:52+00:00

Lose weight / not be fat.
Try to comfortably be attractive according to you. No need to wear dresses and heels and be someone you’re not, but everyone can invest in good skincare and style themselves.
Learn how to socialize, be a good conversationalist, AND how to convey/return signals of interest to men.
Think about what your long term goals are and find men who match what you want out of life.
Observe the kind of man you want and what he looks for in a partner. It’ll inform you on how you need to specifically improve.
Get out of “men are trash” mentality.
Vet men early and continuously.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2023-12-01T04:23:04+00:00

Honestly there isn't much of a universal list but the main thing is

Think of a man you would want to be in a relationship with. And then think of the kind of woman that man would date. And then improve from there.

Caveat: if you don't want to change yourself for man don't.

But in general:

be fit and healthy. Eat right and excercise.
figure out what style suits you
be better at vetting.
controversial - don't have sex on the first date.
learn to socialise

EulenWatcher · 2023-12-01T06:16:42+00:00

Therapy can help with lots of issues: poor boundaries, traumas, poor communication etc.
Figuring out what your goals and values are and adjusting your behavior and lifestyle to them.
Appearance. Getting into healthy weight, getting fit, knowing your lines and colors. It also might be helpful to think what kind of style a man you’re into prefers and adjust accordingly.
Taking actions in your own hands. Approaching might bring better results than passively waiting.
Working on your social circle is important as well. The more desirable people you meet, the higher chances you have to find a partner.
Getting shit together is pretty universal. People usually date close to their socioeconomic circle and it’s better to date partners with compatible lifestyle, so it’s better not to expect that a partner miraculously solves all your issues in life. Work on them on your own.
Think very well what kind of a man you want to date and what kind of a woman he’s seeking. Adjust as needed.

sweetestpineapple · 2023-12-01T04:37:36+00:00

Get more hobbies. You’ll increase your chance of meeting people and/or have something to do outside your future relationship, and some space is healthy. Be a better friend to other women. Text back, make plans, be a supportive listener. You can meet people through them or with them. A good friend will give you an honest opinion on what needs to be improved on your dating profiles and any red flags in potential matches. Cut down on or quit substance use. It’s unhealthy and attracts the wrong type of partner.

Expensive-Tea455 · 2023-12-01T13:38:26+00:00

Be realistic about what kind of men you can actually get and stop lying to yourself about being “thick” … the vast majority of women who refer to themselves as “thick” are usually just overweight or obese….

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-12-01T16:24:45+00:00

1) Go out and meet men, be more social

2) Lose weight get fit

3) Get a flattering haircut

4) Skincare

5) Flattering clothes

6) Learn makeup skills

7) Learn how to talk to guys and how to be more interesting

SnooMarzipans6929 · 2023-12-01T04:26:35+00:00

Honestly men and women are not that different. We both need to improve in the same ways.

Both need to stop with either "princess" behavior or "alpha male" behavior. No one is God's gift to the world without being willing to give just as much so entitlement in general needs to be toned down big time.
Stop focusing on money. Focus on career and income stability instead.
Both need to focus more on the intellectual connection you have too. Not just the physical and emotional one. It's likely that you'll always be a little miserable if you find that you can't have stimulating conversations with your partner. Not saying you should be in Mensa but you should be curious and willing to actually converse with the opposite sex. Sometimes without emotion.
Both need to be understanding of each other's ways of expressing emotion and stop assuming that "because I'm a woman I do X" or "because I'm a man I do Y". Each human is different.
If you're a woman who only wants a 5 star restaurant on the first date you suck as a human and are likely trashy.
If you're a man who gets angry when sex isn't on the table on the first date you suck as a human and are likely trashy.
I guess this is kind of a restatement of 4 but I'll say it differently. Stereotypes about a certain sex are stupid. Actually get to know the person you're interested in and don't assume.

Mentathiel · 2023-12-01T22:18:39+00:00

I think women in general have a lot of work to do on their relationship with their sexuality. There tends to be a lot of internalized shame, difficulty to orgasm because of said internalized shame, need to use substances like alcohol to overcome said shame and cause impulsivity enough to do it, etc. There is also a need to appear hot at all times and focus on being pleasing to the men by acting hot to a point where it can be hard to focus on the sensations and the connection. All of my close friends actively hold their tummy tucked/clenched throughout the day and are hyperaware of how they look when sitting down. Bringing this energy to sex causes a level of performance anxiety that is frustrating. We don't talk about this because it's easier to ignore women having problems. A flaccid dick is very obvious, but a slightly dry vagina less so, and we tend to explain it away with natural variability (which I'm not denying) and slap on some lube and call it a day. We also struggle to set boundaries, especially in the bedroom, with a lot of women causing panic in other women by talking about how it's dangerous to say no etc, on top of our socialization to please men at all costs in such situations. All this leads to sexual dissatisfaction, which leads to a decrease in horniness, dead bedrooms, rapey situations, sending mixed signals to men, never being the one to approach men, and many other problems for both ourselves & men or women we partner with.

Boundary-setting in general, not just in a sexual context, is also an issue. Communicating our problems openly.

Another thing women need to improve is taking more responsibility.

Also, all of the abuse needs to stop. Slapping men is nit okay. Throwing things at them is not okay. Breaking their possessions is not okay. Whatever they did to you, other than also physically attacking you or your children or others you wish to protect, you can find some other way to resolve. Insulting men is not okay. Using trauma they shared in an argument against them is not okay. Sharing their personal traumas after the relationship ends is (mostly) not okay, there may be some things that deeply affect you that you could share with non-mutual friends to get some support, but there's no need to talk about their daddy issues to every woman you meet. Separating men from their friends and hobbies because you consider them immature is not okay, they need to do their fair share of chores and parenting and you can express a wish for more time with them, but not cross a line to trying to remove other things from their lives entirely. Cheating on men is not okay. I don't think most women do all of these things or anything like that, but a lot of them have at least done some of them and we societally excuse them when they do to a large extent.

I think those are the biggest things that are kind of socially reinforced that we should be working towards. On a more personal level, losing weight, not smoking, in general maintaining your health. Idk.

Demasii · 2023-12-01T04:42:13+00:00

Improve their vetting skills.

A woman can lose weight and wear make up more effectively to attract more men but if she chooses wrong than it doesn't matter. If she is instinctually attracted to "bad boys" it doesnt matter.

*Edits made below due to confusion

She needs to define what a good man is. What is her end goal? Does she want to get married? Does she want to have kids? Does she want a man who pulls his weight around the house?

I literally seen attractive women choose the same abusive type of men over and over. It's hard to watch their lives crumble apart.

It's hard to watch a woman date the same man for 5 plus years without a proposal and the sadness in her face when she interacts with a baby because she desire to start a family.

AdhesivenessLevel379 · 2023-12-01T09:51:20+00:00

Same advice I’d give anyone - clean your house before inviting someone in. Be confident enough in yourself that a partner isn’t there to complete you but rather be a nice addition to a nice life. Be interesting, do things outside of work and social media.

This should be bare minimum but make sure your finances are in order and you’re self sufficient, putting yourself in a position where you’re financially dependent on a man makes you way too vulnerable. Always have your own savings and income no matter what.

Safinated · 2023-12-01T15:31:26+00:00

They need to stop complaining about their bfs/husbands and just break up/divorce them instead.

If you’re alone, get hotter or stop complaining.

Men aren’t going to be better unless they’re forced to by deprivation, simple as. The carrots are all there, but no one wants to pick up the stick

Unfortunately, the exact same advice applies to men, which shows that no one is going to improve because they’re lazy, greedy or weak. Ah, humanity

januaryphilosopher · 2023-12-01T08:54:44+00:00

It depends on the person and what kind of solution they're looking for (long or short term). The most common thing I say to both men and women is they need to meet more people, actually meet rather than swiping through apps, and show interest in some way.

NefariousnessLife220 · 2023-12-01T04:12:06+00:00

None of the things you listed. Like 0. Those are all things TRP tell you are important.

The things I value in a man are:

Kindness
Intelligence
Self-awareness
Healthy habits (working out, eating well (for the most part))
Ability to communicate

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Flightlessbirbz · 2023-12-01T20:29:29+00:00

It’s going to be unique to each woman obviously, just like what men need to improve is going to be unique to each man. But generally speaking, if a woman is not having success in dating, it’s going to be either a looks issue or a social skills/not getting out enough issue, just like for most men.

Looks - If you’re overweight, losing weight will significantly increase your options. So will taking care of other aspects of your appearance like fixing your skin (see a doctor, don’t bother with drugstore treatments) or teeth if you need to and can afford it, getting a flattering hairstyle, wearing flattering clothes, learning to do your makeup. Things like cosmetic surgery are costly and have risks, so they certainly aren’t for everyone but may be worth it to some.

Social life - Even if you look good, you’re still not going to get dates if you don’t have a social circle and don’t leave the house much. This can be easier said than done for some of us - myself included. But it’s really not optional.

Being approachable - Smile, make eye contact, don’t cross your arms. I don’t recommend directly hitting on men, but you can strike up a conversation. Work on active listening and conversation skills in general, and not freezing up when talking to a man you find attractive.

Now if you’re talking about repeatedly having issues further down the road in relationships, that can be a personality issue or a vetting issue and is usually going to be more individual and tricker to generalize.

Title	Women, what do women need to improve?
Author	Da_Famous_Anus
Upvotes	29
Comments	232
Date	December 1, 2023 3:59 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1882dl7/women_what_do_women_need_to_improve/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-what-do-women-need-to-improve.1239754 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239754

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