After first approach in ages I was told to kill myself. Should I continue with seduction?

Puzzled_Nail_1962 · 2022-07-20T08:59:49+00:00

I wouldn't give to much weight to what she said. You don't know her at all, she could just be a complete asshole who learned at some point crass insulting is the easiest way to get rid of a guy when she's not interested.

It sucks and is totally understandable you were hurt by it, but don't let one bad egg ruin everything for you. The upside is, it won't get worse than this, so what are you afraid of now?

Jasonhardon · 2022-07-20T11:52:43+00:00

I lot of PUAs just focus on game but you should also be working hard on improving your body, the way your face looks, intelligence, career and wealth too. Game will supplement this. It’s a hard truth a lot of guys don’t want to hear but it’s the truth especially for higher caliber women. Get in shape and get a girl friendly hobby. Get used to rejections. Because they will happen a LOT.

CowgirlBebop575 · 2022-07-20T08:55:20+00:00

Her response says more about her than about you. Cold approaching is like cold calling (for sales), it has a low close rate and a lot of rejection. It's important to maintain your confidence in your product (yourself) and to understand that someone would want what you're selling.

You can try to feel things out before approaching by making eye contact across the room and seeing how she responds.

It takes a lot of confidence to approach someone, you did what a lot of people are afraid to do.

_Zesu_ · 2022-07-20T08:38:48+00:00

"Train" on "not as beautiful" girls first. This girl was obviously a bitch and would provide no value to your life. Keep on playing

BIN-BON · 2022-07-20T08:52:09+00:00

Mama said it to me best, "Women can be cruel, but not every one."

This girl said "You're ugly as fuck, go kill yourself," simply cause she wanted you to go away. I doubt it's much more than that, and I personally wouldn't give her much more thought. However, when you're dealing with insecurity, there isn't a person on this forum that will disagree that it's easier said than done.

Maybe she'd been hit on all night. Maybe you are a scary motherfucker. Maybe she just got left, or any other sort of "maybe." That shit was not, and will never be okay. If she's willing to say that to a complete stranger than I know she isn't worth much of anyone's time, much less yours. Cause man, fuck that bitch.

Now you said you struggle feeling with overweight, and not feeling attractive. I feel you, from the bottom of my heart. Hell, I used to have abs, now I've got a beer gut. Strangely enough, I've gotten more women now than I ever have before. There's nothing wrong with feeling inadequate from time to time, and I don't want to invalidate your feelings, but understand that, yeah, chubby dudes get women as much as the rest of the world. Truthfully, once you lose 20, you'll see marked physical results and feel much better about your image. (Don't stop trying to lose more.)

The truth is, you're new to this, and it seems like you more or less had a "mean girl" be the first one you walked up to. Bad luck. Ask yourself if this exchange was a worst case scenario, or the equivalent of daring to step outside one day, and a bird shits on your shoulder. Sure, you know, you're agoraphobic and then this happens the first moment you leave the door. Well the agoraphobia in you would tell you to stay in and lock your door and tackle it some crazy long time in the future, but God knows, that's not how you'd get over the fear.

Finally, something I figured out last night that should have been obvious but really moved me. People talk about learning game (and conquering mental health) as if it's some grand secret code, or a series of movements for some Kung Fu that'll unlock your 8th inner gate, and you'll get it if you just find the right combo. But like losing weight, or actually learning how to fight, no one can teach you, you have to have a long, hard journey and develop it yourself. Pretentious, I know, but I feel like it's true. I feel like anyone else is selling you something.

SPENCEandtonic · 2022-07-20T09:10:04+00:00

I know it's easier said than done but.. don't focus on what she said. Focus on the fact that you went out and expressed yourself by approaching a woman you were really attracted to. Many men can't do that. You're now in control of your life. Keep it up. You can't control how people respond, and it usually has way less to do with you than you think.

Don't let it get you down at all. You found out real quick that she isn't a girl you want in your life. No matter how beautiful she is, she treats people poorly. Don't let her ruin your opinion of all women. There are so many great ones. In fact, I bet you're going to find a cool one real soon and you'll tell her this story and you'll both laugh.

Cheers, keep approaching and save some ladies for the rest of us!

Mindrust · 2022-07-20T11:22:52+00:00

That girl is a bitch, plain and simple. That response is not normal for a basic "hi, how are you".

Just be thankful she let you know right off the bat before you could invest anything into her.

AnthdieSoos · 2022-07-20T09:13:10+00:00

next time a woman says that to you, you can call it out and say that it is very rude, even for a rejection

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-07-20T09:25:07+00:00

It's such an extreme example to have any conclusion. most girls are friendly or tryna be friendly saying like you're not my type, I'm in hurry or I have a bf so her response was something inside of her that you have no control over, it's not about you at all. Most of the time even if she didn't find you the most attractive guy she ever met she won't say it out loud.

Ofc continue your journey and if you do it well your success gonna come soon, if it doesn't you may doing something wrong that needs to be fixed but a lot of guys are got better at the game so if they could you can too

cobraCL · 2022-07-20T15:44:33+00:00

That is absolutely disgusting behaviour and you didn't deserve it in the slightest. 😔 Sorry, OP. I know its easy to say "don't take it personally, she was just a cunt" but this kind of thing can trigger some deeper wounds. I can't imagine how awful that must have felt!

Fight against those feelings of unworthiness please. You are not the problem and nor is your appearance, you just had the misfortune of running into an exceptionally malicious and bitter person. I'm telling you now - even if that girl got with someone who she found attractive enough, she would eventually verbally abuse him too because clearly she is just that fucked up and cruel.

Take care of yourself and remind yourself that you are good enough. Also, have a hug. 💜

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-07-20T11:25:52+00:00

Bitch shield up at 11

Calamity__Bane · 2022-07-20T13:59:39+00:00

Lol that response is supremely uncommon and has a lot more to do with her than you. Anyone who flips out at you like that for just saying hi has major problems of their own, keep at it and keep working on yourself.

cronasminate · 2022-07-20T08:44:32+00:00

Oof she went for the throat for that one. That's like trying to fish with a nuke, a bit too over the top. She's most likely going through something. This is why you want to see if people are vibing or not. Being able to read body language is very useful in seduction in so many stages of escalation.

Alive-Doughnut2345 · 2022-07-20T08:53:23+00:00

I’m really sorry you had such an unpleasant interaction. I would say don’t give up mostly because when you do find the one that likes you back even the harshest rejections don’t matter anymore. Take care.

JDthrows · 2022-07-20T14:32:17+00:00

No you shouldn’t.

Not trying to be an asshole man, but gotta keep it real here.

At 5’3 and fat as fuck, are your wasting your time pursuing women right now.

If you’re fat, period (unless you’re rich as fuck too) you have no business trying to enter the battlefield that is modern dating, you’re just going to get chewed up and spit out.

You don’t have to be Chris Hemsworth shredded, but if you look down and you can’t see your package, you really shouldn’t be out there trying to attract the opposite sex.

This woman is pretty obviously an extreme outlier, but most women are going to be unattracted and turned off based on your appearance.

You can lose the weight fairly easily though, the biggest thing that’s gonna hold you back is that the average women is taller then you. It sucks I know, but women want to look up to their man, not down at him.

Honestly, you’re facing an uphill battle that’s the truth. But that’s not to say you can’t win, just unfortunately you’re going to have to work harder and bring more to the table than most other guys to get the same result.

Only you can decide if that’s worth it or not. I’d argue that it is, but that’s up to you.

If you do really want to successfully pursue women though, you’ve gotta minimize your weaknesses, your appearance, and really max out everything else, your income, your status, your game, your social abilities, humor, etc.

Only once you’re well on your way to that min- maxing should you be putting serious effort into romantically and sexually interacting with women. Right now you’re wasting your time and your only gonna get frustrated.

Lose the fat, start earning some good money, and work on your social skills with friends or colleagues, then you can try to get with girls and have a real shot.

EmbeddedAssets · 2022-07-20T13:14:58+00:00

That’s crazy. But what she said matters zero. If youre really insecure you can get your face rated by wheat waffles and /r/truerateme and as long as you’re 4+ you’re good.

dryo · 2022-07-20T13:55:56+00:00

I think, you should put things in perspective before you go down a rabbit hole of spirilling insecurities.

First off, my hat's off to you for having the balls to cold approach, you have no idea how many guys avoid this to not get those kinds of responses.

Two, you already identified another area of improvement, weight, while there are, cause there are guys who are overweight that have a lot of attraction, I would work on that, great you have a good job and you're killing it, now go after a healthier life and portray that, not by talking about it.

Three, you'll most likely find her again in that bar, after you have worked on yourself, it's time for some reception testing, keep going back and forth the floor make more eye contact and start seeing the different responses, you'll be surprised how much of a bitch this girl was and prolly end up living with thousand cats.

Four, don't limit yourself to a bar, do day approaches aswell, I'm sorry but you need to calibrate and tweak your conversation seemlessly, adapt, try, rinse, repeat

Conclusion: You got your first punch in the gut, then the shit tests will come, read about them, be prepared, but don't give up.

DanishApollon · 2022-07-20T14:16:28+00:00

"Good! We already have something in common!"

Booster93 · 2022-07-20T14:23:57+00:00

Life and eat healthy for a year and a half. Casually learn how to talk to women.

grindforthegold · 2022-07-20T15:10:35+00:00

well the girl is sick in the head man, but a lot of girls are just rotten now a days with their egos. You are very short and fat dude so automatically girls will find you unattractive for the most part. You have to lose the weight but some lifts and try to groom yourself as best as possible. If your chin and jaw are weak grow a beard using midoxinil, if your forehead is big comb your hair forward, if the back of your head is bit grow your hair out. work to maximize your looks before approaching so you have the best chances of success. i’ve had sex with 10 girls, i’m only 5’4 and yes i’ve gotten laughed at when approaching girls before. didn’t stop other girls from falling in love with me. you will likely need to try more indirect approaches if your direct ones are failing because you may not have the looks to be doing more direct approaches similar to me. i usually ask like “hey do you know what DJ is playing next? Is Xzy artist playing tonight?” and then from there’s something like, oh what you’re not from this area you don’t know that artist? where are you from? and then go on from there. lower chances of a harsh rejection

VitaminosisD · 2022-07-20T10:16:22+00:00

Lower your standards, instead of approaching 9s and 10s, go for below where is a 10 times less a chance you will approach some bitch that will kill all your confidence. Probably 9 of 10 guys are ugly in her eyes because she have that kind of attitude towards guys that are anything less than a 10.

Build your game and confidence on average girls, maybe you even meet the one that you will click with.

ftdrain · 2022-07-20T11:33:49+00:00

Harsh truth is that you are small as fuck and fat, hot girls and dudes too get outraged when someone well below their attraction level goes up to them thinking that they have a shot when they clearly havent worked on themselves to be up to par (minus height, you got shit luck there), you might not get this response everytime, but thats what an attractive girl will think, hell, thats what I think when an uggo approaches. I recommend hitting the gym and moving to southeast asia where people are tiny. Just being honest.

velvetangelsx · 2022-07-20T10:58:47+00:00

I'd say your first mistake was to approach a pretty girl who is standing by herself. A solo girl has her guard up to the max and is a lot more likely to say anything to get you to leave,...and it worked.

Try approaching a group of girls....even if there are guys there...work backward...befriend the ones you're not interested in and get them to like you and basically vouch for you. Once that happens and they accept you, you're in to comfortably stay and work your magic.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2022-07-20T11:10:55+00:00

When you’re feeling good about yourself and are content with your life, would you treat someone that way? She obviously has some stuff going on internally and feels the need to take out on others.

People who talk to others that way have some sort of inner turmoil going on, or are just shit bags. You don’t want to waste time around those types of people. Become detached from the opinions of strangers.

I know that probably stung like hell, be reframe the rejection into something that’s humorous and a story you can tell your friends. Everybody gets blown out, never give up.

MermaidOfScandinavia · 2022-07-20T10:59:05+00:00

Are you seeing a therapist? I think that might help. 🤔

repo1778 · 2022-07-20T16:43:03+00:00

Ugly person she is. When she grows up, if she does she'll carry the burden of having said this to someone. That is if she ever develops a sense of respect. I believe you should get in the gym if your able and lose the 60lbs. It's not that much. It will also give you some mental confidence. Don't look at it happening in a month but give it 6 mos, it will happen. In the mean time know there are people out there like her and who you are isn't determined by their lack of human quality.

MOProG2 · 2022-07-20T10:18:57+00:00

Drop pick up. Join a men's group, get therapy or take up meditation to deal with the depression. There is more to life than an orgasm

mcjohnalds45 · 2022-07-20T09:37:30+00:00

You should continue with cold approach only if you're feeling up to it.

Cold approach is usually not that brutal but it will be tough sometimes. If you want something less intimidating, you could try going to social events, making friends, and dating within your social circle.

You sound like you are actually handling things pretty well. If you bounce back ok, you will be less held back by the fear because you know that you can handle a tough situation.

Great stuff finding the courage for your first approach.

incognito3107 · 2022-07-20T09:44:23+00:00

Yeah, keep approaching. Don't worry about it, she deserved a solid slap in the face for such response.

But to make something out of it, pay more attention to your appearance features, that is hygiene, posture, clothes, hairstyle etc.

zdpastaman · 2022-07-20T13:28:01+00:00

She is right. Kill your past self and grow as a person 😜

carlos1973633826 · 2022-07-20T11:24:31+00:00

You have never lived in her shoes so you don’t know why she said that. Maybe one time a creepy old guy hit on her and she was being nice to him. After being nice to him he would not go away and harassed her. She felt like shit afterwards. Therefor she decided if she does not find a guy attractive she would be a bitch to prevent that from happening.

If a women was missing teeth, extremely bad hair, super overweight, bad breath started talking to you and making moves on you how would you feel? You going to pretty women out of your league with no socials skills what makes you feel she wants to lower her standards just for you? What makes you so special?

Your short and overweight which women find extremely unattractive. She’s out there to meet a young guy her age.

It looks like you found one million way to cope mentally. What makes you think a women desires to be jumped by a bag of potatoes?

Here what you should you. Get coached. Get a fitness, diet, and style coach. Once you got that handled get a dating coach. Otherwise stay away from women

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-20T12:22:43+00:00

So admittedly you did look like shit?

lambocinnialfredo · 2022-07-20T12:22:53+00:00

No one is saying the most obvious thing here: great job man. You did nothing wrong and you endured one of the hardest possible responses. And not only that, you didn’t say anything nasty back. You’re a good person, she isn’t. Remember this is a numbers game and the more people you talk to the more varied responses you will get

Interested_Redditor · 2022-07-20T12:36:57+00:00

There is no way this happened like you describe.

SleepyBeast89 · 2022-07-20T13:42:51+00:00

Two things: It’s safe to say that was her shit test to you. A brutal one, but one nonetheless. Now if you had played it off and deflated her with humor you still could have had a chance.

Secondly, don’t let ANYONE dictate your self-esteem and self-worth. Especially bitchy people.

epimpstyle · 2022-07-20T14:07:15+00:00

You guys will never learn what means: "approach a girl only from the same league as you".

It is easier to blame the girl but it is clear that she has standards and from her point of view you are ugly.

Anyways, you can increase the chances of talking to an attractive girl at a bar if you tell her from the very beginning that you are there only for a minute, otherwise she will think that she must spend the evening with you and it is easier for her to reject you harshly from the beginning.

Leading-Painter9549 · 2022-07-20T10:12:07+00:00

Why dont you knock her out with a beer bottle

megainculu · 2022-07-20T12:32:55+00:00

Cold approach is hard bro and you're a daredevil for trying after such a long gap. One of my friends always says to me to NEVER APPLY LOGIC about what a woman says or does. She could herself be having a really bad day, maybe she was betrayed by someone recently or maybe she's just a horrible person you never know. Girls are like trains, when one leaves the other will arrive. Happy hunting😉

Snakehead004 · 2022-07-20T13:23:54+00:00

Lots of beautiful women aren't the nicest people. She was giving you a shit test and you failed. But.. Do you really want to be with such a bitch? Like I get that you're tired of always being approached but that's kinda part of the reason we go out.. I'd probably have just moved on. But if I wanted to play games with her I'd say something like this:

"so like a murder suicide thing?? Oh you're coming with me! - it's like beauty and the beast but with cyanide"

LightAtEnd · 2022-07-20T09:24:11+00:00

“Says the one using makeup, what you hiding beneath that powder? Most likely a zombie face. Gross”

Offense is always best against offense

sussykeke · 2022-07-20T09:31:39+00:00

Ay man, don't take it personally. The women don't actually mean it, don't let your self worth get ruined cause some chick wanted to feel tough.

Carry on with it and most importantly base your notion of self worth on yourself.

Usual_Assistance8667 · 2022-07-20T10:57:46+00:00

It comes with the territory my friend. I've had the same reaction from females. And I've also had women say that I am really handsome & pretty. If anything, I would consider myself medium ugly. I use to have the same outlook and reaction with women. Distancing myself as far away from them for their sake. But I also have had women who went out their way to be in my company.

Best advice I can say is not take in to personally & to continue to try. Like someone said above, no one can tell you how to fight(game), you have to learn to learn to develope that for yourself. I would consider myself bottm of the barrel and even I find myself with luck and amongst opportunity sometimes too; with CUTE skinny(not that weight matter) girls.

You got this bro. Just keep swimming

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-07-20T12:43:30+00:00

Ah shit that would only come from a stuck up bitch, fuck that dude those people deserve to rot like that, it's the equivalent of people who make fun of overweight individuals working out at the gym, needless to say she should be the one jumping a bridge

V4refugee · 2022-07-20T13:01:41+00:00

She sounds like an ugly human in more than just the physical sense. I have been rudely rejected by a less attractive girl one day and then hooked up with a girl thought was out of my league the next day. People are just unpredictable like that. This girl may not even been out looking for sex or a relationship. Maybe she is the type to hook up with unattractive older men who pay her bills. Is that even what you are looking for? All you know is that you thought she looked attractive but you don’t know what stage in her life she is in or her motives for going out that night. There’s an element of luck with every individual interaction. Catch someone when they are in a good mood or on a rebound and she could end up catching feelings. At least you didn’t have to waste time on her. She made it easy for you to move on to the next. The whole situation is actually absurd if you really even think about it, it’s almost comical. Like who the fuck even acts like that? That’s the attitude of a child. Honestly, I would just work on your comeback game after this. I would have told her that she could sit on my face if she thought I was so ugly. People being rude to you is always fun because you get to use your creativity and be rude back. Basically, try giving less fucks.

creamyturtle · 2022-07-20T11:07:55+00:00

If I was you I would work on hitting on ugly girls first. they're easy to talk to and love attention. then once you've bagged an ugly girl, you upgrade slightly to a mediocre girl. keep building your confidence. once you have a mediocre girl eating out of the palm of your hand, then try your skills with the hotties

devolve79 · 2022-07-20T09:42:25+00:00

Stop being a pussy. This whole post stinks. You know what to do. I'm usually nicer to people on here. But you need some tough love.

andyhura · 2022-07-20T11:23:47+00:00

Next time say “your perception of me is a reflection of you” and walk away smiling

Tongueoncheek · 2022-07-20T12:21:08+00:00

She’s ugly not you

Snoo89449 · 2022-07-20T11:18:34+00:00

What other option do you have? Being alone forever is not a viable or realistic. Your approach was good, her reaction is unheard of. Keep trying, don't give up, you got this.

throwaway0934586 · 2022-07-20T11:23:25+00:00

Cold approaches alone at a bar are a tough game to play. So take it as that, knowing that if you play with fire you could get burned. Again, take it as a game not as something real. Realness starts only once you connect with the person in a meaningful way.

Finally, don’t give that bitchy girl any satisfaction by being hurt by her mean words.

ReorgAtty · 2022-07-20T12:24:25+00:00

Yes, you should be pursuing women. You should also work really hard on your weight. Get in shape.

But most importantly, try to understand that that would have been her reaction to just about anyone who isn’t Brad Pitt. I know it hurts, but understand it wasn’t personal to you. That line was written in her head and ready to be spit out before she ever saw you.

Sorry you had to deal with that. Don’t let shit like that ruin your night. Bounce back and recover.

barryn13087 · 2022-07-20T12:33:45+00:00

Those experiences are never nice, You dodged a bullet there, some girls will disqualify themselves so you can save time for the next one.

A word of caution though, one time I approached a group of girls in a bar and many of them were smiling, open and responsive, however after a few conversations, one of them called me a "dirty Muslim" (I'm not Muslim) and it totally killed the mood, I complain to the bar about the it and they told me to leave because she was a regular, never been back there since. So don't take it personal some people are just assholes and get away with it.

aquilaruspante1 · 2022-07-20T12:51:42+00:00

I'm sorry about what I'm reading man. That really suck. As a person who's doing his best to improve himself, both in the physical and mental aspects it must be really painful to be hit exactly where it hurts the most, as it appears from what you said about your mental health issues. There are no words for that bitch and I don't really understand why some people is like that. She could have rejected you in a more polite way but she didn't and, you know what? I think she over reacted cause she is probably uses to be approached by insistent men. Once I asked a friend of mine why she mistreated men approaching her and her reply was that usually politeness don't push men away and she wanted to be left in peace.

So consider it an overreaction and as an overreaction it's a lie, an exaggeration just to make sure you would have disappeared. Don't believe to her words.

Apart from that I suggest you to keep working on yourself but take it easy, don't be hard on yourself and aim just to be slightly better than what you were yesterday. You already came a long way as I can see and your words sound full of self esteem.

I'm insecure as well and I started approaching women with a friend who is a natural super PUA. A couple of times I had girls mimicking throwing up gesture when seeing me. That was discouraging. But a night I got a k-close + number close on a girl and when I texted her she replied she didn't believe I wanted to date her cause Im to hot for her. That gave an incredible boost to my confidence and for some reason I started pulling literally every night I was out with no effort, until the pandemic. Now i struggle to talk to unknown girls again cause the time I was successful was too short compared with the unsuccessful one. Practice is the key, keep going out and trying and when the first little result will arrive it will boost your confidence and you will get a lot more successful.

Sending you all my sympathy or how the bitch treated you.

Amikatey · 2022-07-20T13:08:54+00:00

You didn't even need that type of girl anyway. Man never give up. That girl was a bitch TBH. I promise you will rarely run into a terribly behaved girl like that. That girl has a lot of issues she has to deal with. Good job for approaching bro. Women want to be approached. So pls don't let another frustrated girls opinion surpass your will to approach girls who would be praying you said 'huy'.

VisibleMuscle4750 · 2022-07-20T13:09:19+00:00

Real shit go listen to the black phillip series its short, hilarious and genius and it explains this 100% someof it is a little dated but its the best series ive had the honor of listening to...but i do feel like this post is fake

jfartzalot · 2022-07-20T13:16:28+00:00

Think of it this way: the absolute worst thing that could have happened just happened. Treat it like exposure therapy where you just got to face your worst fear. If you can go back to a bar and do it again, you can start to get over that fear. I've been to bars where everyone is cold and unfriendly and fine to the same place a different time and made friends for life.

One suggestion for you... Don't go there to talk to women. Just go with the intention of being friendly. Talk to men. Talk to the bar tender. And if there happens to be a woman in your vicinity, talk to her. Just go to be friendly. Once you've developed some social credibility and comfort you can talk to more women easily.

GeorgeKaplanIsReal · 2022-07-20T13:29:10+00:00

Gotta start reading up on those Winston Churchill quips.

katiuszka919 · 2022-07-20T13:50:01+00:00

That’s terrible and I’m sorry someone was so awful to you. Try to let that roll of your back; people aren’t generally that mean.

imdkj · 2022-07-20T14:06:57+00:00

Girls a bitch and honestly would’ve called her that after her being so rude. She doesn’t deserve a second of your energy. Get it in your head that your the shit and don’t give a fuck what some bimbo thinks. If your not confident then just act like it and the actual confidence will come. Also hit the gym, did wonders for my confidence and mental health.

morphiusn · 2022-07-20T14:15:22+00:00

The worst she can say is no

This post:

AngeloMacon · 2022-07-20T14:20:14+00:00

A mix of shooting way too far out of your league and she's an asshole.

Aim lower until you work on that weight and socializing more. Other than that, there are a small minority of people who are just shit people. That's part of life and you're going to run into them when you put yourself out there. Eventually the ashholes know to be more passive aggressive around a confident person.

BigBadPiggy999 · 2022-07-20T14:21:35+00:00

Don’t worry man . Next successful approach at conversation . You will forget about this.

RedPillAlphaBigCock · 2022-07-20T14:23:00+00:00

Does your self confidence and self love come from the reaction of a mentally ill girl ?

Or does it come from inside you ❤️?

Keep going and do the EXACT same thing , great job ,

It’s a numbers game , there are girls out there that will love you , go find them

It’s like you played minesweeper and hit the bomb on the first click , it happens

Go play again ❤️

blunt_eastwood · 2022-07-20T14:31:15+00:00

You definitely should not give up on approaching women.

It sounds like there are certainly some confidence issues, but that you are committed to growing and developing as a person, which in the long run will lead to a much more fulfilling and rewarding life.

That woman's reaction was probably the worst you will get, but eventually you will get to the point that you won't even care how a woman reacts.

I highly recommend reading the book "Models" if you haven't already. It will give you some direction on how to build confidence in yourself in life and in the context of dating and relationships.

andr386 · 2022-07-20T14:33:22+00:00

You should not take it personally. She only wanted to be left alone.

Imagine being constantly harrassed by beggers and homeless with less than refined social manners.

Well that's how you appeared to her. As an awkward begger of love. Putting her in an awkward position with the responsability to bear the weight of the interraction.

I am a good person. But I tend to cut it very short with beggars, and if needed I am mean. I hit hard and fast so they leave me alone.

Before going to talk to a girl, I try to smile to her and talk with our eyes. Then when she doesn't feel threatened I will approach. And then I would say something that fits the situation. It has nothing to do with your physical appearance. Although if you were a stunning Adonis she might have changed her tune.

Sometimes women simply want to be left alone.

morchorchorman · 2022-07-20T14:38:50+00:00

“Worst she can say is no” lmfao. Also get a wing man it’s way easier than going in solo.

Rhaspy · 2022-07-20T14:41:08+00:00

Bitch be crazy.

No really, if she treats a stranger that comes to her and politely asks how her night is going by replying "go kill yourself", she:

1) had a really rough day, just got dumped, got fired and she lashed at you

2) she has some mental issues / she is crazy / she has zero manners.

In any way do not let one occurence of meeting a crazy bitch discourage you from approaching women. Usually if they have at least some manners they will reply by something like "sorry, I am not interrested" or "sorry, I have a boyfriend" (my very succesfull reply and icebreaker is "hey, me too, and I bet mine is cuter the yours!"), but they will not tell you to fuck off, that is just rude and uncivilised.

Do not worry about that, just go on :)

GotThaAcid5tab · 2022-07-20T14:47:40+00:00

She’s obviously a complete cunt. Who the fuck is rude like that?

Narcissistic trash mate.

Ikem32 · 2022-07-20T14:49:58+00:00

The right guy can’t do anything wrong. The wrong guy can’t anything do right. You were the wrong guy for her. And be happy about it. Someone like her, is a bag of problems. And the faster you know that, the better. And focus on improving yourself, mentally, physically, emotionally, so to build assets.

OreOscar1232 · 2022-07-20T15:02:22+00:00

Should’ve said “that’s what your mother said last night” also it doesn’t matter she’s probably over confident and a real piece of shit to deal with in a relationship. Fuck her, not literally but you get my point.

burakbenxd · 2022-07-20T15:12:30+00:00

It happens. I went into a set with an indirect opener once, and then introduced myself. Her friend was receptive, the other girl wasn't. She said, "I'm not interested" in a snarky attitude. I just replied with, "woah, who said I'm interested? :D". Then said I need to go catch up with friends. She tried fist bumping me, and I said "no thanks haha" and walked away. It's okay to put them in their place sometimes... obviously not as a jerk.

My point is that night game can be really hard sometimes. It's not anything wrong with you. You just need to keep trying, and don't let it get to you.

Majestic_Meal_5655 · 2022-07-20T15:16:03+00:00

Approaching is about conversation. You will get rejected as easy as the air is to breathe. Use it to increase social skills and conversation skills. It might lead to a date, but that's playing a numbers game. You will have to approach hundreds of woman to get a few dates. Hundreds of times you will get your ego shattered. Game?

gornad96 · 2022-07-20T15:27:27+00:00

This is why i hate the mentality of "just do it the worst she can say is no". Like some of us have deep insecurities/trauma. A very harsh rejection can spiral you into a hole of depression and anxiety. Believe it or not, some things in life you shouldn't partake in until you feel truly ready. "But you'll never feel ready" Bullshit...it took me a few years to work on myself but afterwards I felt confident and ready and started making riskier moves.

Take your time, slowly condition yourself to rejection/women. Go for less attractive women, try striking up convos with strangers, or just work on your well-being. You'll know when you're ready.

doctorduckylucky · 2022-07-20T15:29:03+00:00

I F(30) agree with a lot of the responses that are saying it’s tells you more about her. Honestly, she did you a favor. Sounds really shallow. Unless you give the girl scary guy vibes, most women won’t be so cruel in the turn down.

I’d also try different locations, I’ve been to trendy bars before and noticed they tend to draw some women like that. I’d maybe try out your local brewery or even indoor/outdoor bar spaces.

Please don’t give up. I can say this with absolute confidence (without meeting you face to face) if you were polite and held good conversation I’d at least talk to you a little bit. Then let ya down easy if I wasn’t into ya.

Don’t give up!

putcoolusernamehere · 2022-07-20T15:33:28+00:00

I’ve done hundreds of cold approaches, and only ever gotten 2 reactions even 10% that visceral. You just ran into a rude girl on a bad day, shrug it off and move on.

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-07-20T15:39:32+00:00

There are a few takeaways and mindsets to get from this.

First, I can tell you not to worry about this one girl, she's a sociopath, etc... But, you probably already know that. Harsh rejections are part of the game and they make you stronger. Keep that in mind as you read through this.

Here are the main takeaways from this:

If you look back at this, can you tell yourself that if a harsh rejection happens like this again, next time could you be less reactive? Maybe 10% less, maybe 50% less, maybe %100. This was the first time someone reacted like this to you and it would crush most people. But, could you improve on how you react to it? Could you be less reactive next time? Less in your head about it? Even if its just a little. Again, use harsh rejections to improve. If you can handle rejections like this, then no other will ever effect you. That's how you want to frame rejections like this. Its all part of the game. It makes you stronger.
Self amusement, outcome independence, and an abundance mentality are all gamey terms, but they do apply. The idea is the same as #1, but, can you laugh it off and move to the next girl knowing that sometimes rejections like this happen in the game. Accept there are messed up women out there, and turn this into something to laugh at, then be in your next approach 10 seconds later. If you have a true abundance mentality, then you would just laugh at this. What a crazy chick? lol. It has no more meaning than that, and the practice you get from it.
Be sure you aren't doing anything to trigger reactions like this. If you are, get a wing to watch and let them give you feedback. You don't want to be freaking people out if its something you are doing. But, just saying hello to someone isn't that. So, I doubt you did anything wrong.

The main ideas is you can use harsh rejections to get better. You can desensitize yourself to rejection as if it has no effective meaning to you. Its nothing. Once your ego can handle anything a girl will throw at you, there will be no stopping you.

YouGotTangoed · 2022-07-20T15:43:59+00:00

Bro if you can’t take rejection like that you need to work on your mental fortitude

notLOL · 2022-07-20T15:47:16+00:00

She practiced that inflection. Going to gossip with the girls on her rejection stories

gmos905 · 2022-07-20T15:47:28+00:00

Definitely do what you can about your body to not be overweight, but don't give weight to this one girls words.

People are rude, kind, everything in between. We shouldn't place too much importance on either praise or insults.

hiddengym · 2022-07-20T15:48:40+00:00

I’m shook 😳 that would have shaken me to my core, yikes. But failure should be expected and part of the game. She was definitely an outlier but if you are to succeed you have to be vulnerable and know that there are truly crappy women in the pool you may run across. She was simply 1/1 total attempts and cold approaches in your sample so your perception is skewed that’s all

WilhelmTrooper · 2022-07-20T15:50:45+00:00

Congratulations, instead of dating her and developing feelings for her only to later on find out she’s a horrible human being, you found out without having to do any of the work!

CutMonster · 2022-07-20T15:51:05+00:00

Well, now you know why she was alone!

JLifts780 · 2022-07-20T15:51:32+00:00

“I’m sorry for whatever you’re going through that that’s your response I thought you looked like a friendly person, hope you have better days” and then move on to the next.

HistoricalReception7 · 2022-07-20T16:03:28+00:00

Jesus Christo, what a jerk of a woman. Disregard her, we're not all like that. Hopefully your next attempt will go smoother for you.

Schrodingers-scat158 · 2022-07-20T16:04:51+00:00

Fuck that bitch, dont let it phase you.

Fanelal · 2022-07-20T16:05:28+00:00

That girl gunna get her head spiked on the cement one day if she keeps her shit up.

KyleGuap · 2022-07-20T16:06:06+00:00

Shoulda pulled a patrick bateman on her

eeoflorida · 2022-07-20T16:16:21+00:00

That was shitty....try to remember that every interaction is someone else's reflection of themselves, her comment had NOTHING to do with you.

Maybe she was alone bc she was going through something rough and lashed out at you. I'm so sorry that happened

Nefertiti2021 · 2022-07-20T16:28:18+00:00

Man, I'm atractive, and there are women who literally say shit to me.

Videogamesarereel · 2022-07-20T16:31:49+00:00

Blowouts are part of the game, if you can't take that, you won't be able to take when a chick throws a "shit test" tossed at you even during a successful pickup.

It did not kill you, absorb it and move on as quickly as possible. I recommend intermittent fasting and Keto as quick way to slash weight. And I don't know who you watch as your pickup guy, but I have a guy I found who I think is one of the better ones, PM me if you're interested.

Edit: and hopefully my original post was not too harsh. I added more detail since I have more time to type out.

TooMuchJibberish · 2022-07-20T16:35:36+00:00

Absolutely brutal

oj47dG · 2022-07-20T16:40:01+00:00

Damn that's so fucked up I can't believe it. That girl got problems for real. Nobody talks like that to another person.

I have no idea what to tell you bro. Usually girls will be nice even if they reject you. You just need to find one that's cool. Will do wonders even if nothing happens afterwards. Crazy artsy girls might give that to you. Your confidence will skyrocket I promise you that. 👍👍

HatchetXL · 2022-07-20T16:47:44+00:00

Hold your head up high, after all, you are the master of the universe. You manifest what you truly desire. Act like you got an amazing secret that nobody else is priviledge to, and smile while you converse because its TRUE

Best of luck out there my friend!

Hboy121 · 2022-07-20T17:02:47+00:00

Lots of guys have already said a lot of stuff and some of it has been good. Your 5’3” that’s gonna put a lot girls off, your 60 lbs over weight ditto, plus your a virgin at 27 and trying to do seduction. Does anyone else see a problem with that last point, going to bar to seduce women who have probably had many sexual encounters and you have had none. Women can pick this up through your vibration, they can sense and intuit things about you. Self confidence, sexual confidence, sexual tension, personal power, etc.

My advise would be for you to stop with the going to bars and trying to seduce, especially when you would be clueless of how to sexually escalate and what to do if you lucky enough to reach the bed room. I would suggest you hit the gym for your body and mind, work out and get those endorphins to elevate you mood, this will help your vibration. Also join an authentic Tantra group, learn yoga and meditation. These will help you become more authentic and natural.

Title	After first approach in ages I was told to kill myself. Should I continue with seduction?
Author	integrate_my_curve
Upvotes	184
Comments	145
Date	July 20, 2022 8:17 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w3gy9n/after_first_approach_in_ages_i_was_told_to_kill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/after-first-approach-in-ages-i-was-told-to-kill.1254032 https://theredarchive.com/post/1254032

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