I interviewed a group of 10 girls about their dating/sexual history and preferences... Here's some of what I learned.

senator_mendoza · 2013-08-16T03:38:04+00:00

Interesting, but I find those numbers about how many times they get hit on, and how many guys they text, way too high. I know many attractive single women, and they don't go near those numbers. I think they may be inflating them to make themselves appear important, and misinterpreting signals from men during the day. Particularly so once you consider that larger cities usually have more women than men, and on top of that many men in large cities are homosexual. That is, dating is slanted in mens favour in large cities. As well, what kind of girl does this interview? You are getting diva types.

skgoa · 2013-08-16T04:36:55+00:00

I wonder what these women are counting as being "hit on". I know a girl who thinks that everyone in the world is trying to bang her. Even the waiter who is attentive and asks hows she's liking her quesso dip "wants it so bad" and she acts like she's doing him a personal favor if she says she likes it (food stuff may very). I bet these women don't get hit on near as much as they've made out.

very1 · 2013-08-16T10:37:42+00:00

10 girls is not a large sample size..

SeductiveGrasshopper · 2013-08-16T06:58:43+00:00

Next time try to ask 10 girls one-by-one. That way you get more honest opinions about themselves and not just agree with the other girls because they might not want to be the outcast or whatever. A little social experiment. Good luck and keep it up, thanks to you i have learned a lot.

dakru · 2013-08-16T01:56:52+00:00

It's commonly said that you should never listen to a women when it comes to seducing women, but I think that's an over-statement. The problem is listening to them unquestioningly, as if being a woman means they automatically know everything about seducing women. It's silly to think that they can't offer any insight at all, especially if you know what to look for when it comes to things that they can miss from their position (and things they might want to say to make themselves look good, i.e. the toxic "just be a nice guy!"). This post is a good example of this.

ben0wn4g3 · 2013-08-16T06:58:32+00:00

Anyone else find it off putting women who are texting 4-5 guys at a time and 'using' them for different things. One of which is the big dick guy!?

riversong_moonrain · 2013-08-16T08:10:58+00:00

As a woman myself I found what you said to be fairly accurate. Your sample group is possibly not entirely representative of the rest of the female population though. Here is what I think the results would be like in Melbourne Australia.

Reasonably attractive women in Melbourne would get hit on an average of 8 times a week rather than a day.

Women on average would be texting plenty of guys yes but only 1 or 2 at a time that they consider having potential for more than friends.

Calls are definitely good, unless she is shy of talking on the phone. Even if she declines she will still know that you made the effort.

Details are important, we like to be listened to. Knowing too many details can come off as a little obsessive or stalker-ish though.

Most of the girls I know hate having everything paid for but the first date is still expected. Personally my policy is if you pay for dinner I’ll pay for drinks, or something like that. A lot of girls want you to pay the first date but will then pay for the second to even it out.

We want to feel wanted.

It’s unfortunate that those women where slut shaming, I have never experienced it myself or seen it happen in my social circles. It is still important to make a girl feel safe and comfortable though because we are conscious of being perceived as slutty by men.

Being the single girl in the group and having your taken friends hit on certainly does suck. We are more likely to say that a friend should give you a chance if you’re nice to us too.

I think you are absolutely right about the touching, eye contact for some can be a little intimidating but a woman certainly feels like you are more interested with eye contact.

The friend zone is absolutely real I have put guys in it. I’ve also taken one out again once I got to know him better. There is a little hope but I wouldn't put too much thought or effort into it. Some girls are nice about the friend zone and will try not to do anything that will encourage you to think that there could be more, others will unfortunately take advantage of you.

I look forward to reading what other women think. I would also be interested in seeing what kind of results you would get from a survey on /r/samplesize

wanked_in_space · 2013-08-16T04:00:22+00:00

While I won't argue any of your points specifically, I'd be careful to generalize based on a population of women that is already pre-selected. Especially on things like numbers of dudes they text and how often they get hit on.

It's really sad that you get protested on what you've written. Especially on things (most) women crave, like dominant men.

scazrelet · 2013-08-16T11:08:11+00:00

10 women is not nearly a large enough sample size. I could easily come up with ten women who contradict at least a good portion of those results.

Things that stand out as "off" in particular:

The number of men they are texting. Are these all "interests"? If so, these women are a very small minority. I imagine that these are friends or the occasional booty call at most. These are not people you are competing with. You DO NOT want to be one of those guys if you have any interest in more than a fling (an unpopular desire on this thread I know). It is a very very small fraction of women that have that many men that they are regularly seeing/dating/sleeping with. For the most part they are simply eating the attention, if their intentions are not pure.

Girls VERY MUCH remember the small details, it's only that, when prompted, they will share what is foremost in mind (the man). It's not that these women forgot (unless they were shallow minded), it just did not take priority in the relation of information. They can and will take into account all sorts of trivial detail and in fact are notorious for doing so. Relational thinking is much stronger for women then men.

Women do not judge women for having sex, or even really for having many partners, they judge them for having unattached sex, especially with any sort of frequency. If you only want to wham bam thank you ma'am then you better be on the same page or she will have the utmost of contempt for you and go out of her way to ruin your life.

Many women meet men in their relationships, some choose to move on it. Not NEARLY as many as suggested though. In my experience the ones who wait until they have one on the hook, so to speak, are bad mojo. Also, many women will look down on you for trying to break up their relationship and shut that door forever based on your perceived lack of respect. Best bet is to play it safe and leave it be, but if your heart's/loin's desire is taken and you can pass reasonable doubt of not knowing, it is possible to make your intentions clear and gauge her reaction. If she firmly says she is not single, back off immediately. If she doesn't say anything, she might be fishing about - or she could be soaking up the attention.

The friend zone is a fucking joke, unless used solely to mean "people I don't want to date". There is no amount of nice things or pampering that will dig you out of that hole. For whatever reason SHE IS NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU. This will not change unless drastic actions are taken that either change her perception of you or you essentially re-enter yourself into her life. If you are "friendzoned" and do not wish to be there, tough luck. If your only interest is in getting with her and are incapable of being a legitimate friend to her, then leave. This is for your own sake, and for hers.

m0pi1 · 2013-08-16T03:57:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2013-08-16T06:52:32+00:00

It's cliched, but unanimously the girls agreed it's weird when the guy doesn't pay for the first date.

-- Just something to keep in mind. It won't make or break you, but it never hurts to pay.

Fucking New York girls.

Edit: Just to clarify, I say this as someone who dated New York girls for 18 months. And it is 100% true in my experience.

RobotPartsCorp · 2013-08-16T15:33:16+00:00

I admit that as a woman (and a feminist) I tend to be weary about PUA culture in general but I understand & support the basic goal behind it-helping people who are socially awkward to be confident and interact with other people and potentially find a mate. Noble goal and I support that. On top of that, I enjoyed your summary of your interviews and what you got from them. Again, I may have pre-judged you based on quotes I read and from what I am gathering, you may actually have some insightful things to say. I find this all to be very interesting. I can't help compare my situation from those of your interviewees...

I am noticing certain points from your post picked up on by men in this thread and I think some of the points might be over-analyzed or the men are taking away something negative which I don't think you put out. So if you allow me to explain what I understood from those particular points, from a female perspective, I hope you don't mind TofuTofu.

First, that your sample seemed to get hit on 8x day. It's mentioned that it seems high. It does, but it's also New York City. I am also interested in what the women considered "hitting on." I would say I get hit on twice or three times daily, and what I would count as "hitting on" includes anytime a guy shows romantic or sexual interest, even unwanted. So, because I probably get "hollered at" at least two times a day from a sketchy street dude, saying things like "nice boobs" (uugh) or "hey can I tell you something? You're beautiful" and so I think it's fair to say that counts, is it competition? Definitely not. The guy who is obviously flirting with me in line for coffee (and the obviousness of the flirtation is subjective, of course) is hitting on me but the guy who I think is just making conversation is not hitting on me. I live in a small city and walk everywhere. When I visited New York City, I got hit on (as well as harassed) even more. So 8x day seems high but it doesn't seem that high.

Texting 4 to 5 guys at a time... This seems high to a few guys in here, but I think they might be assuming that all 4 of those guys are romantic/sexual interests. They're not. I bet one or two guys are, one or two guys are friends but possibilities, and one or two guys are just friends and that's it. It also depends on the stage the woman is at, if she is single she might be going on dates with a couple of them and that really makes sense to me. Last year when I was single, I dated a LOT over the summer but would go on only one or two dates before knowing it wasn't going to work out, but up to those points we would be having friendly/flirty texts back and forth, I was also texting a guy I really liked and was having sex with while I was going on a few dates with a guy I considered a really great option. The guy I was having sex with turned out to be someone I consider a good friend of mine now (without the sex) who I text somewhat regularly, another guy I text regularly with is my brother so that's obviously completely non-sexual, once in a while I text a bit with a male friend who I grew up with, non-sexual, we're childhood friends, and the other person I text is my boyfriend.

Guy paying for the first date: this is a tough one because it really depends on age and socioeconomic background. I make decent money so there is no reason for me not to pay for myself, I also pay for my friends a ton because they are poorer than me and I also really LIKE to pay for my friends because its usually me dragging them to places that they might not be able to afford. I dated a guy for quite a while and he was broke, I paid gladly paid for the majority of the dates and I did not mind it one bit. The first date is a tricky one... when I was in my early 20s I would have been more inclined to pay my half, but now since I date people within my socioeconomic background, those guys find it a turn-off to not pay so I try to pick up on any cues of his intention but I will always offer to pay and will only not pay when he insists on paying. Other factors include how casual or formal the date is, if its fancy dining where we get a bottle of wine, I notice the guy will insist on paying (even when I expect to be paying my way). If its drinks and tapas, I expect to pay and might even pay for HIM too because I tend to get expensive cocktails (while the guy is just drinking beer) and I hate holding back on delicious tapas so sometimes it's more fair for me to pay. I do notice a pattern though, I feel like if the guy insists on paying, then he seems more serious about me or about a relationship, perhaps because if not, he would be spending too much money all the time to get laid? I'm not sure. It's just a pattern I notice (if no other factors like low income or whatever else could explain it). It does not make me see him in a negative light though but it does make me cautious. Does that make sense?

Girl shaming: I think it depends on the age, I do think women in their early twenties shame more, generally speaking. I can only speak for my social circle (late 20s to early 40s professional creatives), we are not the shaming type and our sexual and relationship experiences are varied.

Women not liking it when their friend is getting hit on...I can understand this happening if its about feeling ignored. I would never be mad or annoyed by a friend getting hit on if its not distracting my friend from the conversation we are having or if she is flirting back and there is interest. If the guy seems cool and social and she digs him, I would be encouraging it. It really depends on if the rest of us are getting ignored and we are just trying to have a conversation with our friend!

Meeting significant others while in a relationship...yep it happens, it's life. It doesn't mean there is cheating happening though, sometimes you meet someone great and become friends and for completely unrelated reasons things are not working out with your current boyfriend and you break up and well then you go on a date with that friend to find out he is a much better match. I met my current S/O when I was single, I was dating a few men but once we had the "lets be monogamous because I think we got something special going on" talk, I turned down all future dates with the other guys.

The Friend Zone: too big of a subject so I will wait for you TofuTofu to elaborate on that when you do. I will say that it is a thing, but it unfairly puts a lot of blame on women when women also get friend-zoned. Also I feel like people make it out to seem like men and women can't be friends, I find this to be untrue of course.

deathlux · 2013-08-16T02:21:26+00:00

I'd be interested to hear what women say from different cities as opposed to NYC alone. It can't me much different but the discrepancies between major cities would be intriguing. Other than that, great post and can't wait for your book to drop, best wishes!

2013-08-16T02:57:19+00:00

But when asked about memorable dates and sexual encounters, an interesting thing happened... In their candid story telling, none of the girls truly bring up minor details from the date. Rather than fondly recall the grand gesture he made at dinner, or the fancy walk by the river, or (in bed) the extra effort he made to make sure she came first, all they would recall is the man himself and how he acted. How he held her. How he looked her in the eye. It was much more about the FEELING his desire for her was present, and less about the particulars of the event.

This is true on so many levels. I've asked the women I've taken out on dates before about what they thought of it and they've never really gone into detail about the specifics of our interactions. What they cared about the most was how I made them feel. For most women, it's about how you can emotionally stimulate them, they're more focused on emotions that from different events, not the events themselves.

Women shame each other over their perceived "sluttiness" WAY, WAY more than I ever expected. And I expected a lot.

Tyler from RSD likes to touch on this topic of being non-judgmental and open to a woman's sexual history, it really builds the amount of comfort and trust she has with you. Making the process of escalating much easier.

Also, that picture with the protesting girls made me facepalm.

cryogenisis · 2013-08-16T03:52:37+00:00

As someone who has never been good with women and has only had a few girlfriends in my life.

This is depressing and discouraging, frankly.

JimKim447 · 2013-08-16T04:14:10+00:00

I wonder about the extent to which any group effects may have influenced the responses of these women seeing as how they were all present at the same time and not interviewed individually, which could have affected the insight of their answers. Still interesting though.

ben0wn4g3 · 2013-08-16T06:44:33+00:00

I wanna be the booty call guy. Now how do I get a big dick..!?

floor-pi · 2013-08-16T12:03:28+00:00

Performing valid surveys is not an easy thing to do for academics.

There's nothing valid about this, other than the fact that it's interesting, and probably that it shows something about bitchy group dynamics. A start would be to do it one on one and anonymously, but you're never going to get true opinions in a group setting.

ttansley · 2013-08-16T13:41:26+00:00

-- They literally said to me, "So don't just stop because she has a boyfriend!" Their words, not mine. Attractive women have options, don't be afraid to pursue a girl who is in a relationship.

I feel pursuing while she is in a relationship isn't good. While once you've convinced her that you'd be better than what she's with, there will be that thought in your head that if you did that to someone, someone else can do it to you. Scary.

The best route in my opinion is to leave that good impression and let them do what they want. Who knows maybe they'll remember your good impression and ask their friends where to find you once she gets out of the old relationship.

foodporn · 2013-08-16T14:39:03+00:00

I think the fact that these women likely walk A LOT, more than most of the U.S. population on a daily basis, needs to be considered. So I don't necessarily think the numbers are inflated. I would be curious to hear how he defined 'being hit on'--my husband asked me this out of the blue this morning, and I realized I wasn't really sure--I thought of being hit on as a more heavy-handed approach; guys at bars, catcalling, street approaches, etc. The guys that I really like are often more subtle about it; I don't even realize I'm being hit on, I just think, this guy is really cool/funny/attractive. I want to get to know him better.

What Tofu Tofu did here isn't a scientific study, and I don't think he meant it to be. But, actually asking women about how they get hit on and what they prefer seems pretty smart to me. And, while I agree that there might be some bias because the women are in a group, they also get more comfortable talking in a group than they would one-on-one with a guy. I would be interested to hear the same questions asked with an all-female group (including the interviewer)--I suspect the women would open up more and, in particular, be more sexually explicit and candid.

The sluttiness part is totally true; there is unfortunately a very fine line between being perceived as attractive and being seen as a slut. Would be interested to hear this explored more in further interviews.

timthetollman · 2013-08-16T14:59:44+00:00

With such a small sample size this data is statistically invalid, just to let you know.

chemfreak87 · 2013-08-16T04:03:55+00:00

Question of methods: did you interview the women as a group, like photo suggests, or individually? Each way will differently bias the answers.

rubygeek · 2013-08-16T09:06:57+00:00

One one hand, you can't buy the kind of publicity stuff like that protest gave you. Well done.

On the other hand, I could tell from a sentence or two into your kickstarter that there'd be a shitstorm of epic proportions. Partly because most people pretty much want to misunderstand the topic of dominance. Secondly because a lot of guys into seduction also misunderstands it, all will pretty much equate dominance to acting like some neanderthal jerk.. What you ought to realise is that domination to a lot of people sounds like abuse, because they picture something non-consensual. While the picture you need to pain if you want people to "get it" is how we don't ask for permission about most things in life, but ease into things and make it clear to the other person what is about to happen, so that said person is comfortable with what is happening.

We tend to see dominance as giving her what she by then wants. While someone who see seduction as predatory from the outset and doesn't understand how the woman can possibly be attracted unless she is being tricked, will likely picture themselves scared or upset. That difference is the difference between the same physical act being dominance that she will love and assault or battery.

Where the line is dran seems obvious to a lot of us. But exactly for that reason many of us ought to be more careful to ensure that people get that distinction, both when learning about seduction and when communicating in situations where people who are negative to seduction are likely to pick it up, especially because it is a fine line sometimes.

I've lifted total strangers in a club high up in the air by their waist, for example. I'm in the UK. Technically, here, because it was an intentional act that she would not ordinarily expect even on a club dance floor, it could be construed as assault (requires her to be in genuine fear of hear safety, but does not even require you to touch her) or battery (the moment I touched her to lift her up). Of course, in reality, the context matters: The girls were not scared, had no reason to be, and were excited, and doubly so afterwards. Had it happened out of the blue in a dark alley, on the other hand, it'd be a completely different matter.

While I find it kinda comical to see those people demonstrating, on the other hand consider that they likely picture the situation as some random brute carrying out those actions against their will in a context where they'd be scared or angry, as opposed to some guy that they are by now noticeably attracted to taking charge of the situation in ways that will make her more attracted.

(It'd be interesting to dissect some romance novels targeted at women and pick out all the scenes where the male protagonist does things that these women would protest if described in a male focused seduction context...)

reedrichardsstretch · 2013-08-16T20:30:33+00:00

I don't hit on girls who say they have a boyfriend because I wouldn't want it to happen to me, and that it's just a part of my own personal code of ethics. If she's going to entertain my advances WHILE in a relationship, I wouldn't want her anyway. There are literally millions of actually single women to pursue in NYC to waste my time on one that says she has a boyfriend (true or not).

clls · 2013-08-16T22:05:43+00:00

you cannot generalize what 10 women said to you to all women

alucidexit · 2013-08-16T04:46:02+00:00

Did you interview them individually or altogether? If it was altogether, I could see your statistics being skewed by peer pressure

helloamigo · 2013-08-16T02:24:49+00:00

Still waiting on that WWE/Sailor Moon fanfic!

Guglio08 · 2013-08-16T06:17:43+00:00

"[G]irls were truly blown away by guys who made effort to remember small details from their first encounter." ... "[N]one of the girls truly bring up minor details from the date."

Uh, okay. These are the kinds of things that turn me off of dating in general.

Impaler276 · 2013-08-16T11:18:56+00:00

"Almost all the women in the group met their significant others WHILE they were in a relationship with someone else. -- They literally said to me, "So don't just stop because she has a boyfriend!" Their words, not mine. Attractive women have options, don't be afraid to pursue a girl who is in a relationship."

Does this bother anyone else? It makes it sound as if ALL women will cheat in a heartbeat. Granted their are a lot of "scumbag Stacy's," but almost all?

rmnszrk · 2013-08-16T06:14:30+00:00

Preface: I like your stuff. You offer a TON of value, and doing this kind of "survey" post is awesome stuff - something I've done for myself, while offering value to my guys.

Moving forward, I have a major issue with this post.

None of this means anything until you lay down a clear definition about what being "hit on" means.

I've had women tell me getting stared at is being "hit on." I've asked women if they get hit on a lot, and they say "yes."

But then I ask, "so guys come up and genuinely tell you they think you're pretty and then try to get to know you?

Her: "Well...no. They just say 'damn girl' or give me free shit or ask for my number without talking to me."

So define "hit on," then let's talk numbers.

Why am I jumping all over this? My experience in NYC for 2 years totally contradicts the competition points of this post.

I went direct 99%, and my conversion rate was insane. If a girl flaked on me, I was legitimately shocked, and just laughed it off and texted another girl on my roster. I remember that happening 5 times over 2 years, while I remember a ton of girls I could've easily fucked if I wasn't already overbooked, and a bit flakey myself.

Beyond that, great post. Nothing better than real words from real women, with a socially intelligent MAN translating!

mynameisjacky · 2013-08-16T11:30:29+00:00

So these women are apparently...

Women shame each other over their perceived "sluttiness" WAY, WAY more than I ever expected. And I expected a lot.

judgmental...

Girls HATE it when their friends are being hit on but not them! It's awful for them!

envious...

Almost all the women in the group met their significant others WHILE they were in a relationship with someone else.

disloyal...

It's cliched, but unanimously the girls agreed it's weird when the guy doesn't pay for the first date.

and have an undeserved sense of entitlement.

Count me out, I have no interest in dating someone like that.

ImmatureAmateur · 2013-08-16T15:40:22+00:00

I must admit, the first time I read this I found it incredibly disheartening. However, after giving this some more thought I came to the conclusion that these girls were blatantly trying to ham up their numbers in comparison to the other girls, I mean there is just no way that they get hit on as much a they claim they do.

phileo · 2013-08-16T16:07:32+00:00

Sometimes, I wish I was a pretty lady. I would be such a sluuuuut :D

aviator104 · 2013-08-16T17:35:28+00:00

Women love, love, LOVE eye contact, whispering, and soft touch along the arms, shoulders, and (eventually) the neck and cheek.

Is this called Kino around here? Can say that it works well!

germ994 · 2013-08-16T17:43:22+00:00

On a scale of 1 to ridiculous, I rate the accuracy of all this as "magazine conspiracy".

Someone needs to weed the mainstream bloggers/writers out of this motha'

disturbing_nickname · 2013-08-16T19:00:31+00:00

Why did you choose to have a focus group when asking such intimate questions?

RobotPartsCorp · 2013-08-16T13:50:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Phalcon09 · 2013-08-16T05:08:15+00:00

i really enjoy reading this post, but when i talk to women, i respect that they have boyfriends/husbands/whatever. Never would i try to take a women from another man, i think that is fucked up and immoral, just my point of view. Great read though!

Jalor · 2013-08-16T19:44:35+00:00

10 women is a really, really tiny sample size. Like, myself and anyone else who's taken a research methods class cringe at someone trying to draw conclusions from a sample that small. Interviewing them all at once is also a bad idea; there's a very good chance they're inflating their numbers to seem higher-status (there are plenty of scientific studies confirming that people do this). It's almost impossible to get a truly random sample unless you're formally conducting research, and even then you only have a sample of "people who would participate in a study".

I think what you should do is repeat this sort of thing in numerous different cities, focus on getting as many women to participate as possible, and interview the women individually. Keep a record of your findings and try to identify trends rather than "facts".

AFormidableContender · 2013-08-16T20:25:26+00:00

Why do the protesters look happy...?

psyocal · 2013-08-16T02:22:24+00:00

Seems like some of the stuff was written by a man thinking of what a woman would say.

icevermin · 2013-08-16T07:19:22+00:00

Wow thats insane. 5 guys at a time? I struggle with 2 girls Jesus

RecyclableAnus · 2013-08-16T16:00:23+00:00

It's a real shame that you're getting all this hate, people just misinterpret things from not reading everything else and don't understand the message. They always think of the guy who is juggling 5 relationships, and not of the guy who found the girl and got married when thinking of seduction.

2013-08-16T20:52:58+00:00

Don't ever interview people in groups. The truth won't come out.

Anyway. Interesting read. And I am super thrilled on your success /u/TofuTofu. I mean. I've folllowed you arond here for the 2 years I've been here, and many of the stories have seemed WAY over the top and I've went: "ya...k, dude."

Seeing that they are probably all true just removes even more of the doubt that's lingering in the back of my mind when going out there.

Anythng is possible. Just do it.

Good luck man!

2013-08-16T13:26:01+00:00

i love that the backlash backfired.

chelbski-willis · 2013-08-16T18:05:02+00:00

Lady here! This is amazingly accurate, with good advice. I loved the bit about including the whole group. When my friend is being hit on, a man making the effort to learn my name, too, and even friendly-flirt a bit with me goes a long way! It makes her like him more and me approve more.

Though I am concerned about the "reasonably attractive" part. Granted, I live in the Pacific NW and I'm told men here are more timid, but some of my friends and myself are rarely approached, even in bars and clubs. I'd definitely say we're all more than reasonably attractive. I keep getting told I'm 'intimidating'. Is that a thing? Maybe guys are thinking I'm like the girl OP mentioned, getting hit on 10 times a day? Thoughts? Comments?

(PS- not that it matters now. I'm in a very happy relationship, and we adore each other. I've just always been curious what that is about. Still have friends experiencing it.)

TofuTofu · 2013-08-16T01:53:08+00:00

Great post. This, and the recent female perspective threads are a neat addition to this sub.

supersecretagent · 2013-08-16T03:40:05+00:00

As a woman, I can agree with almost everything you said! Each new point you made, I found myself nodding and agreeing with what you concluded. Bravo!

tffy · 2013-08-16T07:59:40+00:00

*understate - I do not think this word means what you think it means... :)

MonkeySteriods · 2013-08-16T08:07:25+00:00

Its so nice that you seduced those girls into advertising your content. You do realize that there are guys that pay lots of money promo girls, right?

bokan · 2013-08-16T13:54:07+00:00

I wish I had more upvotes

2013-08-16T14:51:09+00:00

Stopped reading at

you have a lot of competition for those spots.

Beta

SeekingAlpha · 2013-08-16T15:15:47+00:00

Great work, Tofu! Very interesting.

Could you say something about the demographics of the group you interviewed? How were the participants selected? Did they know each other?

I'm guessing the sample is mostly made up of college-educated, yuppie white girls that were raised with a certain degree of privelege in society. So, there's that.

1upforever · 2013-08-16T15:22:55+00:00

Well now I feel like less of a piece of shit for always seeming to get attracted to girls who are already in relationships. So thanks for that.

RhodeWolf · 2013-08-16T16:31:13+00:00

Eye opening! Thanks for all your hard work! :D

yokhai · 2013-08-16T16:43:13+00:00

Tofu, you done good work. God i need to write more. If you need any analysis, op ed, or just another set of eyes let me know.

2013-08-16T22:27:00+00:00

An average age and breaking down these number for different age groups would also be helpful and insightful I think

Heizenbrg · 2013-08-17T20:10:51+00:00

Let's be honest here, will I appear as monumental dickhead if I split the bill on a first date?

manysounds · 2013-08-24T21:20:56+00:00

Who are these guys?

The 8 times a day isn't feasible. It's laughably infeasible. There's roughly the same girls as guys. Even though attractive girls get hit on more than unattractive girls[1], a very large percentage of men are in a relationship (not cheating frequently), are shy and don't approach women ever, or are so really ridiculously good looking and brooding that they don't approach women because they get approached all the time.

What you're really saying is the average single guy who is social at all, is trying to pick up between 10-20 girls per day, every day, 365 days a year. lol no.

[1] This trend maxes around 7-8 then decreases.

koyaai · 2013-10-15T13:23:16+00:00

I think a more "personal" interview might have given you different results but that is just me seeing it on a different light. Human nature.

If you want some tips on dating and want to know how to simplify it then just visit http://www.datingmadesimple.org for more info!

freefromdesire · 2014-02-08T08:28:50+00:00

Ash Conformity experiment

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asch_conformity_experiments

asad16 · 2013-08-16T04:44:25+00:00

How are you dealing with the haters? Is it frustrating that they can't open their mind to actually read your material without any preconceived bias?

TheCuriousDude · 2013-08-16T05:20:12+00:00

This just shows you that any publicity is good publicity. It's funny how much ranting feminazis helped out TofuTofu.

2013-08-16T13:27:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

thesupreme333 · 2013-08-16T02:18:43+00:00

Well done!

itsweirdbeingme · 2013-08-16T05:37:13+00:00

What if I want to pay for a hard copy? I joined Seddit a couple of days after kick starter had ended, was kinda guttered I couldn't have helped with the kick starter program.

HitchSlap92 · 2013-08-29T04:12:37+00:00

They literally said to me, "So don't just stop because she has a boyfriend!" Their words, not mine. Attractive women have options, don't be afraid to pursue a girl who is in a relationship.

Not cool bro.

Heyhihelloo · 2013-10-16T09:19:23+00:00

This guide is a very inaccurate portrayal of women. I sincerely hope the men I talk to do not believe this.

flyersfan314 · 2013-08-16T02:57:39+00:00

Can you go into a little more detail about the groups of guys women put men into?

Is penis size important?

CaptThack · 2013-08-16T06:24:48+00:00

The trick to seducing women is to not want her.

I know, weird huh...

ARealSocialIdiot · 2013-08-16T04:08:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2013-08-16T12:18:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Hoof_Hearted12 · 2013-08-16T05:13:43+00:00

Now I'm a bit worried about guys hitting on any girlfriend I have. Fuck.

EMoney5 · 2013-08-16T05:13:59+00:00

DAE think the girls in the picture show a lot of closed body position / body language?

DeceptiStang · 2013-08-16T07:18:26+00:00

jesus....these women have our numbers....I feel like a damn ant

unassuming_aussie · 2013-08-16T11:34:04+00:00

I'm on mobile and your newsletter page won't open. I'm commenting so I can come straight back when I'm at my computer.

2013-08-16T13:44:05+00:00

wow good luck man , it really is intimidating to know how much competition youre up against to

StultusAsinus · 2013-08-16T20:34:35+00:00

I actually wonder about the differences between women in the city, suburbs and more rural areas. Also between Europe and the USA/Canada. Heck I even guess the difference can be big between all the states.

BerriesNCreme · 2013-08-16T22:22:49+00:00

-- They literally said to me, "So don't just stop because she has a boyfriend!" Their words, not mine. Attractive women have options, don't be afraid to pursue a girl who is in a relationship.

holy shit how do you do this, cuz so many girls that Im interested in already have a boyfriend. How do you keep yourself in that pocket between that guy whos overly approaching you while you have a bf and a friend, cuz I feel like if you flirt with a girl that has a bf its just easier to get friendzone. Do you just throw caution to the wind and just outright hardcore flirt with her?

CharliesDaniels · 2013-08-16T22:30:26+00:00

I've met a handful of great women with boyfriends. It's always an interesting situation because I catch IOI's and such, but just knowing the fact they have a boyfriend detracts me from showing more interest. Therefore, I'm wondering if any other specific stories or insights were shared regarding their significant other while they were dating someone else.

Jake_STi-RA · 2013-08-17T03:31:55+00:00

There are days I wish I lived in New York. The experience you listed of women getting hit on 8 times a day means the competition is demanding and you have to keep up with the Joneses. At least if I grew up there in the dating scene, I would get over my insecure 'nice guy' stage a lot faster haha.

Imagine a New Yorker moving from the city to a smaller city. He'd be drowning in pussy with all that experience! Or would he be considered an alien figuring dating is different in different cities/cultures? Anyone care to queue in?

Mouthpiece · 2013-08-19T23:07:30+00:00

It's great that someone had the balls to do this—and I wouldn't expect anything less of you, Tofu—and while some are nitpicking the results, it's worth reading. There are a few gems in there.

noeldavidson850 · 2013-10-26T04:23:32+00:00

That's quite a research you have done. I have noted the tips and hope they help.

noeldavidson850 · 2013-10-28T05:20:16+00:00

That's quite a research you have done. I have noted the tips and hope they help.

bmsbms · 2013-11-01T11:36:43+00:00

That's quite a research you have done. I have noted the tips and hope they help. http://datingsiteguide.org

Title	I interviewed a group of 10 girls about their dating/sexual history and preferences... Here's some of what I learned.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	770
Comments	317
Date	August 16, 2013 1:19 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kgj2l/i_interviewed_a_group_of_10_girls_about_their/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-interviewed-a-group-of-10-girls-about-their.1356993 https://theredarchive.com/post/1356993

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