The worst advice ever. There is like a million reasons they might forget to call you/ be shy themselves or just simply think you’re “meh” at first. Grab life by the balls and you call them! Its all on you.

iamthesage · 2020-10-21T16:10:49+00:00

I experimented with this method for 2 months back in 2016... Many of there were cold approaches, and the convos were great. I then gave them my number.

Guess, how many sent me a text? 0.

The last girl I tried this method told me straight up "No take my number. I won't send the first message". I texted her later and we went on a date.

Since, then I have stopped giving women my number. I always sent the first message.

Blocguy · 2020-10-21T17:28:21+00:00

ITT: People that don’t understand context.

There is no single solution of always asking for a girls number or just giving her yours. Read the fucking situation and IOIs and gauge her interest.

If I get the sense she’s not fully invested after a first impression I just give her my number. I’m not eager to see her again unless I get a sense she’s willing to step up. If she texts me, great! We’ll likely set something up. If not, you move on. The VAST majority of dates I’ve had in the last few months were from times I gave them my number.

If I sense a lot of interest then of course I’ll ask for her number. Text her later that evening or the next day and set something up myself.

Guys in this sub who say “Lol have some confidence and just ask her” probably don’t have much experience and are just regurgitating the same “axioms” repeated here. Women are all different and if you want to have success with a wider spectrum, you need to be flexible in how you handle a situation.

mlgpc1 · 2020-10-21T16:09:33+00:00

If done properly it can actually work in your favor.

If you do it from a place of abundance it can show confidence and non-neediness. It's all about the how you do it.

Plus, only girls who are of high interest will text you.

grue367 · 2020-10-21T17:59:00+00:00

As a woman, I can say that my personal preference is when a man asks first. Although, if I know the man I like is on the shyer side, I’ll just ask him first.

readonlyuser · 2020-10-21T17:02:15+00:00

Agreed, there is a sizable subset of women that won't make the first move, due to principles, time management, options, forgetfulness, middling interest, etc.

BurnItDownSR · 2020-10-21T16:31:34+00:00

You can take control of your life without having to do everything to facilitate a relationship.

Part of taking charge of your life is having standards and you're totally free to have the standard of only wanting to be with someone who calls or messages you first.

Vaginuh · 2020-10-21T18:16:22+00:00

Giving my number has worked for me 100% of the time, and I suspect that people who think this doesn't work aren't very good at reading a room.

If things are lukewarm or you're forgettable, of course it won't work. But when you can feel that she wants you to pursue, it's a great tease and an even greater show of confidence to say, "you know what, take this..." The reason this works for me is because I won't give someone my number unless I feel very strongly that they'll follow up. Please don't write this off and instead have some flexibility in your interactions.

ilikepie145 · 2020-10-21T15:59:40+00:00

I agree. Fuck that. Just gives them an easy out to do nothin. Show some damn confidence.

xuwei010 · 2020-10-21T19:20:32+00:00

Im guessing this is a Life Pro Tip towards women...

STylerMLmusic · 2020-10-21T19:56:38+00:00

This is by far the best way to go. If you didn't build value, they won't call you, and you should let them call you. Why reach out a hundred times and expect one to work out, when you can just get the one to work out and not reach out a hundred times. If you get your confidence from being busy, this ain't that chief.

l8weenie · 2020-10-21T18:01:18+00:00

I normally ask and also give them my number so that they know it’s me versus waiting for then to make the first move

thebadsleepwell00 · 2020-10-21T17:16:17+00:00

As a woman, I hate the message of this post. If you give someone a number and they don't text, either they don't want to or they might have crippling social anxiety or something else came up. Regardless you're not entitled to their time or attention anyways. If they don't give you an invitation to be part of their life, don't assert yourself. Most of the time I get asked for my number it stressed me out a little because vast majority of the time I don't want to give it out unless we have at least some rapport built. This just screams "Push boundaries, don't respect them! Push women into giving you what you want!" But I guess that's par the course for a lot of "advice" here AKA treat women like objects to be obtained and not as unique individuals.

skld2assassin · 2020-10-21T17:07:32+00:00

Why not best of both worlds and exchange phone numbers. Still text first in my opinion it may vary I do it 3 Days later to 2 weeks. I’m focused on the gym and I forget sometimes.

Alex_O7 · 2020-10-21T18:49:13+00:00

Totally agree. The girl I'm dating right now was even hesitant to give me a contact at first, then she admitted she would have regretted if she hadn't done it back then because she realised in days after first meeting that she want to see me back.

So don't follow shit like this.

putcoolusernamehere · 2020-10-21T18:54:58+00:00

I've tried this before. Maybe I got a text back like once. Girls aren't even going to respond that often when you have their number, they're definitely not going to go out of their way to take the initiative unless they're super into you.

precessionbanana · 2020-10-21T18:58:50+00:00

Just say "We should exchange numbers", then message her the next day and say something like "It was great to meet you, have a great week".

dustin4you · 2020-10-21T19:14:46+00:00

I only get 1/15 actually get back to you. It's a total waste. I'm still working on my confidence and negative thinking so that I have the balls to ask. I talked to to this woman for 2 hours and gave her my number but, no reply.

K0oligan · 2020-10-21T18:00:30+00:00

But like asking for a girls number is normal ? To me it seems like so creepy honestly.

VojvodaSrpski · 2020-10-21T17:21:54+00:00

The correct answer is to give them your number and tell them to call you immediately so you get theirs.

Then after a while you can call them.

Think of it as giving your business card, did you ever see a high value man asking someone for their number? No, they just throw their business card in your face.

-Skizzy · 2020-10-21T16:29:10+00:00

Can go either way. Confidence is shown when you ask for their number, but abundance can be shown by giving them yours.

Gerald00 · 2020-10-21T16:57:48+00:00

worked just fine for me, the prettiest girl ever, messaged me after a party, I did'nt expect the contact so I did'nt even remember her name. Anyway, it was a score.

introsetsam · 2020-10-21T16:11:06+00:00

welp i can tell you’re a man

introsetsam · 2020-10-21T16:12:14+00:00

i think i would be so much more into a guy if he gave me his number instead of asking for mine. a guy asking for my number super soon is a turn off because of how many terrible/dangerous men there are out there

eastfuse · 2020-10-21T17:01:17+00:00

and why would i want to call anyone?

Yossarian287 · 2020-10-21T17:24:39+00:00

Ask them out on the spot. Take the opportunity to ask in the moment when you can look them in the eye. Be polite. Choose a day and place before you ask.

If yes, get number to confirm closer to date time. If no, bow out with a little humor and grace

RichHomieLon · 2020-10-21T19:17:49+00:00

Yeah, this has NEVER worked for me, ever. Terrible advice.

Mr_82 · 2020-10-21T18:18:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

UnsuitableTrademark · 2020-10-21T17:47:35+00:00

The funny part is this is basic dating skills 101. Goes to show how the general public thinks and makes easy mistakes all the time.

arjungmenon · 2020-10-21T18:15:33+00:00

Yup, I learned this firsthand. I’ve done exactly what the screenshot suggests, and I never got a call back from the girl.

Expelleddux · 2020-10-21T19:22:42+00:00

Lol, just ask a girl for their Instagram. Not hard.

openmind_17 · 2020-10-22T13:11:42+00:00

I will say, I have had lots of success using that method on dating apps. I strike up a conversation with one of my matches, go back and forth with some flirty banter, and then say something like "Hey, you seem pretty cool. You should text me ###-###-####"
Probably 8/10 times I get a text a few hours later saying something like "I'm pretty cool huh?" or "hey its ____ from *app name*"

nordicdatingmentor · 2020-10-21T16:58:18+00:00

Why blur out OP?

steak820 · 2020-10-21T20:15:03+00:00

That thread is full of people going "it helps the girl be more comfortable, I think it's nicer".

These people live in a fucking fantasy.

Garrret · 2020-10-22T01:20:09+00:00

Beta and unassertive as fuck

_I_lie_a_lot_ · 2020-10-21T17:59:26+00:00

Dude, just walk up and grab them by the pussy. Trust me.

misser_eric · 2020-10-21T20:22:11+00:00

Yeah that’s definitely shit advice lol. They’ll never text you back. Always get her number only if they was a solid connection first.

chipsmoreFTW · 2020-10-21T17:02:15+00:00

If you want to know whether they are giving you the correct number try repeating it to them again but get one of the numbers wrong on purpose if they correct you then there’s a high chance that they are giving the right number

Copperstoner · 2020-10-21T16:06:48+00:00

I’m rather exchanging IG @s then phone numbers, but I agree with the sentiment.

BonelessSkinless · 2020-10-21T21:09:21+00:00

This is sort of an unwritten rule for us socially but uh men are just expected to send the first message, that's just how it is.

Fatboy_69 · 2020-10-21T18:26:07+00:00

Full-service method: Take her phone, punch in your number, add yourself as a contact, call yourself, add her contact in your phone. Then when you text her, your name comes up instead of a random number

Saxon2010 · 2020-10-21T16:41:14+00:00

Stop being afraid of rejection and just ask for the number and call/text them first. If they say no, okay that’s fine, just move on. It’s not that complicated— it’s part of the process.

GuyLearningCPP · 2020-10-21T16:52:36+00:00

I don't know... whenever I talk to someone either by calling or texting, they make me feel like I am interrupting something, so I don't anymore. Honestly, I grew to see texting as a waste of time.

FishesNBitches · 2020-10-21T17:45:12+00:00

Facts

SpamFilterHatesMe · 2020-10-21T17:52:22+00:00

also tell her to recommend you some good gynecologist in the area when she calls, because that’s how she feels you now, at least in my country

CoolKid2326 · 2020-10-21T17:56:17+00:00

Dude you're on reddit what do you expect?

2020-10-21T18:31:30+00:00

I think that post was made to get girls to give their phone numbers to people they liked

markh110 · 2020-10-21T18:38:37+00:00

I'll be honest, I thought that LPT was about business relationships and clients, not picking up.

ThenIJizzedInMyPants · 2020-10-21T19:22:06+00:00

Let em do it. It'll mean more success for those of us that don't buy into the bullshit

smiling_coconut4769 · 2020-10-21T19:52:44+00:00

I agree it is not necessarily the best method. One time I gave a girl my number while I was working a retail shift. Minutes after she left I realized I made a grave mistake - she had my number but I did not have hers. Luckily she texted me about 20 min later saying how nice it was to see me and catch up; landing a date a couple days later. It seems more like a contextual basis. If the other party seems willing and interested in contacting you, by all means you can give your number to the person. More times than not it is probably better to get their number to ensure you can contact them instead of having to rely on the notion of them deciding to contact you.

VenusianMinotaur · 2020-10-21T19:53:21+00:00

Both of these posts are bad lol

This0neTime23 · 2020-10-21T19:56:59+00:00

I think more than the passive or active approach, communication depends on how motivated each party is to talk to each other. That and shyness. For that reason I think it's better to ask for the number since women aren't used to initiating. If a girl seems talkative and likely to take charge then I would give her the number.

But asking for a number is great when she's shy or just if you want the ball in your court. It's also often a matter of when you ask for it, too soon and you may miss an opportunity down the road when she's warmed up to the idea.

If she can ignore you when you give her a number, then she can ignore you if you and for hers and she doesn't reply. I don't think the direction of exchange means much. It's important to not appear pushy which the passive approach helps with. But in all honesty learn to seem open and not pushy while being a little assertive, that's the sweet spot. And number in the hand is better than having to wait in an ambiguous situation

izzymatic · 2020-10-21T21:49:46+00:00

Isnt it supposed to be you give them your phone, to put their number in? Good way to measure her response, you still have to initiate the text and if she doesn’t like you she’ll put a fake number.

TripleDallas214469 · 2020-10-21T22:02:31+00:00

That should be true if all else fails

Creebjeez · 2020-10-21T22:25:11+00:00

I thought her saying no was called flirting

DrRayNay · 2020-10-21T23:22:42+00:00

I was thinking the same as you, lad. Just ask for their number. Showna strong character

Dannyboi93 · 2020-10-21T23:23:45+00:00

I commented on this straight away saying it was shitty advice and I got shunned

Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/jf5m95/lpt_instead_of_asking_for_someones_number_just/g9j00ry?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3 there's the link brothers, go upvote it and show people the light.

seastarmolly · 2020-10-22T00:15:54+00:00

This is not a bad idea. It lets you not be that sleezy guy who hounds a woman for her number. It's scary to a certain level. But a guy that says hey I would like to get to know you more because I have enjoyed talking to you. Text me sometime and we can meet up for coffee, lunch, an event you both enjoy - a fair, play, whatever. Now if you are just handing "hot* girls your number without talking to them you will have not much luck but asking for their number will not go well either. It puts pressure on them to talk to you first by phone. But it doesn't make you this guy. There are other videos but this is the one from the girl's view so gets the creepyness of asking for a number can be to the other person.

https://youtu.be/-KgFZhGT26w

burncushlikewood · 2020-10-22T00:19:59+00:00

Same day lay take her on a nice lobster dinner then never call them again. This is why I love night game, go to the club take em home no text game involved

Blaphrodite · 2020-10-22T00:42:11+00:00

Grabbing life by the balls is asking the person you’re interested in for their number and calling or texting. The passive loser approach is giving your number and expecting her to call. The first approach is likely to succeed 5 times out of 10, the second? Maybe 1 in 10

DrewMac380 · 2020-10-22T02:46:19+00:00

I'm late to this, but it's not the worst advice. This girl who I matched with took a while to respond. So I said, "Here's my number if you want to continue this convo through text!". We ended up dating for two years. Not dating anymore, but this isn't the worst advice ever in my opinion. It's going to be different for everyone.

_narrowstraits_ · 2020-10-22T03:25:33+00:00

This is literally terrible advice lol. I guess this is why you're still looking though.

ylbigmike · 2020-10-22T03:29:25+00:00

Great advice if you're a pretty girl, but if you're a dude you'll just come off as a cock

Shieldless_One · 2020-10-22T04:24:08+00:00

Yup. Woman want a guy they can look up to, and its your job to lead the relationship. Women know men want sex so what kind of guy are gonna look like if you expect her to do the leg work?

Sure, if you were Brad Pitt then maybe they would call you. But no one here is Brad Pitt.

GodOfSociety · 2020-10-22T04:33:16+00:00

You’ll even hear it in sales, always get their number so you’re in control of who talks next.

Dlxgp7 · 2020-10-22T04:46:01+00:00

It doesn't matter if you give your number out or you ask for the number. If there is no interest, nothing will happen.

mcnos · 2020-10-22T05:36:18+00:00

Once I was at a concert, had hung out with this girl the day I met there, have her front row in front of my and I practically embraced her all night while protecting her from the wave of the crowd and the confederate flag loving hill billies behind us pushing. I had gave her my number and later before we left, she said here take my number. I stupidly said, you have my number already right? Just text me later.. she never texted.

SandtheB · 2020-10-22T05:52:01+00:00

I'll keep this comment short.

Please don't fall for de-motivational mindsets like this, and realize that no normal girls or guys, actually believe this. If ideas like this start to de-motivate you, ask your friends who motivate you for advice.

I did respond to this post in a comment here but don't worry too much about non-sense like this.

damnginathiscray · 2020-10-22T06:08:40+00:00

This is hitting so close. A nice guy helped me out last month with putting air in my tires and did this with his number. I was completely stressed as I was leaving town for a mini vacation and would contact him when I got back. Minute I got back and into work holy hell one crisis after another. Then just life. He was nice, but now I think it’s been too long. Literally stopped myself cause I was like is it too long and I don’t want to be rude as hell. Still debate. But is this a sign?

Radguymccool · 2020-10-22T06:30:27+00:00

I actually used this method on tinder with a girl who had ghosted me, sent her a new message and told her how much I had liked chatting to her and just have her my number if she wanted to text me and go on a date.

We were together 3 years after that, so don't think doing something like this will never work.

Legitimate_Delay · 2020-10-22T07:00:17+00:00

I'm surprised how it got 32 thousand upvotes .it will never work. even for me ,I've been talking to this girl for a while she always says how I am different from the rest of the guys who keep texting her like desperate fucks even to I'm special,and we enjoy our conversation she never texts me first lol. even if she sends me paras about her days or text back even at my worst statement or a bad joke she replies .but never texts me first inorder to initiate a convo

A reason could be is she has abundance.Multiple guys texting her and she can't keep up with it or she doesn't need to

So what does this teaches us fellow guys ? That's a given hidden rule she won't text u cuz she doesn't have the "need to" prolly she won't even remember u cuz of the many guys texting her Sometimes even I don't remember to reply to some girl's even cuz of my busy schedule. How is a girl who gets texts by a 100 guys on a daily basis supposed to remember u and text u back

I hope my experience helps others and clarify this .sorry if my grammar is shit ,it is not my first language Thank u for reading

traviij · 2020-10-22T07:32:40+00:00

To play contrarian, I think putting the ball in their court, and telling her you’d like her to give u a call (after a meaningful conversation of course) is a power move as well. Certainly, I don’t think it can be the only move in the arsenal, but there are situations where that delivery comes off as so relaxed, confident + it’s quite a twist of fate / against the grain from the woman’s perspective (which I’ve learned is actually quite exciting for both the man and woman).

humanchampagne · 2020-10-22T08:06:39+00:00

Well, yes and no. Some men ask for my number before I even have a chance to decide if I’m interested or not. I don’t like the pressure of giving it out. That’s pretty much always a no. If you are vibing, give her yours. She’ll text if she’s interested, knowing the ball’s in her court. If she gives you hers first, she is definitely interested. Plain and simple.

afuntimewashadbyall · 2020-10-22T08:10:47+00:00

I was in that thread

njugiste · 2020-10-22T10:00:23+00:00

Yeah It is all on you...and them too.

Notnotstrange · 2020-10-22T12:22:30+00:00

I am a women who did this for a piece for a magazine around 8 years ago. Except I put clever pick-up lines on it. I’d skip them across the bar. Men laughed, crumpled it in my face, threw it away in front of me. A few were flattered. None texted. 0/10 for actually dating. 8/10 for hilarity

ObviousBudget6 · 2020-10-22T14:37:16+00:00

But that post is not coming from /seduction.

Obviously in picking up chicks giving your number to them will never work.

Also, in the post they say "it will avoid any awkwardness in case the feeling ins´t mutual". Well of course in seduction awkwardness is something that is trascended and mastered. Avoiding it will make you stay in your comfort zone and watch porn.

So for me that post doesn´t have anything to do with dating.

Least1ngenuity · 2020-10-22T15:45:16+00:00

i tend to ask for snapchat.

1- its more impersonal, so its more likely to be given

2- it gives both of you a reason to send a message. if you see them hanging with a mutual friend, or going somewhere you know, doing something cool, etc.

2020-10-22T15:48:10+00:00

You just gave me a virtual kick up the ass, I've been literally dealing with this situation over the last couple days.

samahndal · 2020-10-22T17:10:34+00:00

A-fucking-greed. Worst advice ever.

Comments