Why is sex such a taboo? Imagine if we could just simply ask the person if they sex like "hey we should have sex sometime?" instead, we play these games and make it complicated

AdventureCat13 · 2024-09-04T08:33:00+00:00

Honestly, I think the reason we play games is because if we didn’t, the answer would usually be no.

I mean, nothing stopping any of us from asking the question, but if we do we immediately force the other person to make a decision.

Mentally, I think it’s easier for people to make a lot smaller decisions than one big one.

It’s the reason why salespeople don’t force you into a decision right away. They stretch things out letting you make smaller decisions so you feel more in control until you feel comfortable enough to buy what they’re selling.

Seduction is basically sales tactics for sex.

Verticesdeltiempo · 2024-09-04T09:27:12+00:00

Because for the entire existence of the species, sex wasn't a recreational activity, it was risky and dangerous in various ways, especially women getting pregnant and risking their life in labor, etc.

Just because we have commodified sex now for a meager 60 years thanks to our scientific knowledge, it doesn't mean that all the filters that existed prior to assure the risk was worth it disappear into thin air. Hence, the song and dance.

srwat · 2024-09-04T08:47:48+00:00

There is no way around needing game to some degree. Even if you are attractive and have maxed out body game you still need at least extremely basic game.

Biologically sex before modern technology (birth control) would get a girl pregnant. If that sex was not with a leader (smooth/ leads ) of some sort or someone important in the tribe (someone confident), that would be like her risking losing her resulting kids that she invests around a year into making with this random male who may not even have DNA that she feels can survive the harshness of life.

Obviously the stakes are different nowadays, but the instincts still remain.

That’s just my take anyway. Can elaborate further but I believe this drives home the point.

Prestigious_Water336 · 2024-09-04T07:51:43+00:00

That would be nice.

We kind of do that already. We ask someone if they "Wanna get a drink sometime". That's the adult code for "Lets go get drunk and have sex afterwords."

FlynnRideHer1 · 2024-09-04T07:30:01+00:00

You would greatly appreciate the swinger and kink community

OkProfessional9405 · 2024-09-04T10:09:33+00:00

Imagine if we could just simply ask the person if they sex like "hey we should have sex sometime?"

There's noting stopping you from doing this.

instead, we play these games and make it complicated

Females of all species are charged with the role of selecting which males reproduce. The literal survival of the species depends on women selecting the best candidates. A female monarch butterfly will reject mating with a male who's wing pattern is 1/32nd of an inch out of symmetry (too ugly apparently).

So it just is what it is, women are picky and you have to impress them enough to be interested. It's a survival mechanism that exists in all species.

knowone1313 · 2024-09-04T18:17:36+00:00

It's not that it's taboo, women simply like the game of making it about romance rather than sex.

Most women hate direct communication, they want games and indirect action so they feel worthwhile and special because their boe is willing to jump through hoops for them.

I'm still shocked whenever they drop the act and become direct when it rarely happens because I often get lost in the bs of them acting like sex is from another planet.

No-Corner3202 · 2024-09-04T11:40:57+00:00

Firstly, it works if your value is high. Secondly, sex for many is not just automated movements. It’s attraction, emotional connection, play, uncertainty to some degree, teasing etc. That what makes sex interesting. Everyone want a quickie sometimes, but mostly without those parts sex would be not so interesting and not so excited

JackSquirts · 2024-09-04T10:42:10+00:00

You can for sure.

MitchArku · 2024-09-04T13:24:09+00:00

I have some truly attractive friends, I have seen them pull off something similar, or be asked by women straight up to take them home.

The idea is that there is some internal game magic that can generate similar levels of attraction, but it feels like a load of woo woo shit sometimes.

RammRras · 2024-09-04T19:58:20+00:00

Because sex is not "free of charge". We notice this even in nature when mating is a costly operation mainly for the female and so a minimum set of skills has to be shown. So by default the answer to sex is NO, but if there is the right time, you're the right partner and stars are aligned the answers will be yes.

jamnoNewEpoch · 2024-09-04T07:30:54+00:00

Honestly I wouldn't want an autistic woman who's actions are completely based on logic.

Just my 2 cents.

MrAnonPoster · 2024-09-04T10:40:01+00:00

It isnt. You are just not fuckable for those you want to fuck

AdventureCat13 · 2024-09-04T13:34:46+00:00

I see what you’re saying and on balance I don’t completely disagree with it. The only difference being that I believe it’s usually more of maybe in their mind, as in they’re willing to consider sleeping with you, but they want more information before they make up their mind.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when the answer to: does a women want sleep with someone is absolutely yes, but it an exception not a rule in my opinion.

NChSh · 2024-09-04T16:03:16+00:00

It goes both ways too. You've obviously never had a woman you were sleeping with get belligerent after knowing her a week and screaming in your face for four hours about how you don't love them

yourcousinrafa · 2024-09-04T20:53:05+00:00

Watching lots of porn can give the impression that sex should be as simple as asking for it, but real life is a bit more complex. I think you're frustrated because you don't understand how the rules and how to play this game, not because sex it taboo. Sex isn't taboo, there are millions of people having sex right now! All the best.

Fluffy_Suspect_4276 · 2024-09-04T07:52:52+00:00

you should stay in hostels while travelling, you'll be surprised...

berzerker5000 · 2024-09-04T13:26:46+00:00

Sex is not taboo (for most) it’s just that since the dawn of time, mating rituals are ingrained in the DNA of every animal and seduction is what humans call it

0h_P1ease · 2024-09-04T14:55:43+00:00

We are all running on modern software, with 20,000 year old firmware.

Women control access to sex. evolutionarily speaking, they are looking for the best man to procreate with. That man

Has a lot of options (pre-selection)
Doesnt have a lot of kids already (Wont need to spread thin the resources he provides)

By directly asking for sex without allowing her to evaluate you, you are blatantly showing you'll take all offers, that means you might not have a lot of options already since you are seeking satisfaction (you're desperate) and/or you might have many children already.

Its not a display of high value.

habbo311 · 2024-09-04T15:25:33+00:00

It's like that for gay men. The reason it's not like that with men and women is that women are looking for an enormous payout (status boost )* in exchange* for sex. They are actively seeking to monkey branch into a better deal and using social media to market their availability

CrazyRepulsive8244 · 2024-09-04T14:53:33+00:00

Because sex creates lives, which is not a small matter. It's not just for pleasure. It comes with the risk of great responsibility burden and risk. Why do I even have to explain that to you people

TransitionOk9918 · 2024-09-04T10:04:34+00:00

It’s not lol

innergamedude · 2024-09-04T16:50:29+00:00

I'm amused that so many people ITT just assume that sex would be just as desired if it were always thrown at us, who are likely baffled why women turn down sex. Attraction and desire come from the uncertainty and plausible deniability that a thing is going to happen.

On top of this, some below have mentioned the safety aspect for women, which can't be ignored. Women have to figure out what the rape/violence/STD/pregnancy/reputation/harassment risk of going somewhere alone with a guy and having sex and they can't just outright ask the guy, "Will you rape/injure/infect/impregnate/gossip/harass me if I agree to this?" and get a useful answer, so they have basic bars that you have to clear for their safety WHILE figuring out IF they're even attracted to you.

There are some women like this and some communities like this, but they both bank on the woman being able to assume her safety.

TheSnake1313 · 2024-09-04T17:32:31+00:00

We play games because the race for genome perpetuation IS a game. Not always a funny game, but a game as described by game theory. Everybody is trying to win the best chance to transmit their own genes, even if that means hurting others, or yourself.

There is a looooooot to say about that. It really changes your life when you begin to see it. I'm not gonna write a book right now because headache is kinda killing me, but ask if you have any questions.

pandorado · 2024-09-04T20:18:44+00:00

Well, biologically sex means reproduction. If u ever have the chance to observe a labor and delivery unit, do it. Once u see women being ripped apart or cut open, shitting themselves, screaming and even hemorrhaging to give birth you'll understand. All while the man who impregnated her has to do nothing. Let alone the next few months of getting that newborn to be a viable baby. It's kind of hell and they're usually irreplaceable. Dads have a positive impact but aren't indispensable like they are as mothers.

Sometimes it's the right time of the month, they'll like you and so on and they'll cut to the chase but most often than not their self preservation makes their choice of who to mate with very carefully. And make no mistake that doesnt make it rational at all but there are still usually a bunch of filters to pass.

Now none of this justifies the way religions have vilified sex for centuries, promiscuity is hell, etc. That's stupid but another topic. what's above is still biologically and factually risky, costly and complicated.

DrinksAreOnTheHouse · 2024-09-04T22:29:40+00:00

Sex is personal and emotional for women. Its not like playing pingpong.

Mazldik · 2024-09-04T07:46:51+00:00

Remember, It takes building up emotions and connection including fore play over time to enjoy sex for most

Hunt_the_Bay · 2024-09-05T10:23:54+00:00

Because that’s no fun. Part of the excitement is what it takes to get there.

Successful_Fact_2361 · 2024-09-05T20:14:04+00:00

Because there is deeply seeded emotions around sex that we can't even understand

FresherCorn · 2024-09-04T11:13:16+00:00

Because many people think of sex as much more than just hooking up and being done with it and it's actually very intimate as the two people are in their most vulnerable state. It's so intimate that billions of people only want to have sex with people that they trust (partners) instead of just going to a random person they've just met.

In the meanwhile, in a relationship, many just casually propose sex and the other casually agrees.

FromTheCaveIntoLight · 2024-09-04T17:40:52+00:00

You can ask. Good luck getting a yes. Go be the pioneer

daddyvow · 2024-09-04T20:08:53+00:00

Because a big part of attraction is the build-up, anticipation, uncertainty, etc.

Smigley1186 · 2024-09-05T05:05:14+00:00

🙄

Male sex energy is ‘I’m ready to go, let’s do this!!!!’

Female sex energy is ‘I’m an oven and what energy you bring to me will determine if it lights the fire and warms the biscuits inside. If it gets hot enough, then you better know when and how to open that oven to get the biscuits. Trust me, they are absolutely delicious.’ 😉

audiofoxthethird · 2024-09-04T15:41:46+00:00

From a woman’s perspective, even by todays standards, if we become the type of women who give an enthusiastic yes right away we often become the targets of abuse. Men often still view women and their sexuality as a resource that can belong only to one or at the very least, not very many of them.

Sex workers, for example, can get killed and most people wouldn’t give a flying monkey’s unwashed asshole.

NamTokMoo222 · 2024-09-04T17:43:40+00:00

That's why guys like you with zero charm or game live online.

That's how it works when you have a romance choice in an RPG, right?

The women in those games basically ask you. Unfortunately, that's not how it really works out here.

In real life, they would almost always say no. Not to everyone, but most likely you.

Why? It's not complicated...

You just don't have to sell what women want to buy - and you don't want to put the work in to develop that.

Tone down the entitlement and adjust your standards.

Want to get better hits? Then get better yourself.

That "anime" looking chick that every guy wants at the bar isn't going to even notice you if you look and communicate like a smelly potato.

the_mr_sanders · 2024-09-04T13:21:33+00:00

Ever read Brave New World?

Admirable-Time9208 · 2024-09-04T13:50:59+00:00

Haha, I think that's cultural; here in Argentina, anyone talks to me like that. 😂

kptknuckles · 2024-09-04T16:05:38+00:00

I think for most people it’s a bonding activity and, for women especially, emotional connection is a big part of the attraction and pleasure. Obviously, this doesn’t apply to every person, but sexual intimacy requires a lot of vulnerability and it’s hard to feel safe with a stranger.

blue_fusion · 2024-09-04T17:00:29+00:00

It’s super risky for women.

Choose the wrong one night stand and boom you’re pregnant with some random dude who takes off.

Even with birth control there’s a bunch of other stuff that can go wrong.

nnystical · 2024-09-04T17:01:14+00:00

Very interesting and entertaining question. I’ll pay attention to this thread

earthboio · 2024-09-04T17:16:14+00:00

This is one of the few instances where I say the cause of this problem is "patriarchy". Women were seen as property for so long, that the idea of them being sexually librated actually pisses a lot of men off. Look at how promiscuous women are talked about on the daily. They're demonized beyond belief.

trpanonthrowaway · 2024-09-04T17:25:06+00:00

This PsycHacks video, Saying the Quiet Part Out Loud: Emperors Must Wear Clothes, actually explains it all - https://youtu.be/Y0rA8YGesjA?si=qWQh8pEhYJQraKEt

Hundred_Knights · 2024-09-04T19:32:13+00:00

Life would be so much easier if it was less complicated, honestly.

anygivenmoment · 2024-09-05T00:46:29+00:00

Are there any feathered, furred or skinned species on the planet without competition or courtship before copulation?

WinterTakerRevived · 2024-09-05T00:59:10+00:00

sex is very high risk, especially for women (((Pregnancy))) many men like yourself don't get this

Crimith · 2024-09-05T02:30:06+00:00

This might come as a complete shock to OP and some of you, but not everyone walks around wanting to fuck everyone they see. Getting to know someone at least a little and have some personality connection is a pre-requisite for some people. Clearly not for OP who seems to think this should just be a static "yes/no" based on no other information than looks.

g9icy · 2024-09-05T08:52:01+00:00

Why shouldn't we have to work for sex though?

Remember, it's survival of the fittest out there in nature.

You're not OWED sex, you're not entitled to it, you have to fucking work for it.

I'm exhausted trying so I get what you're saying, but we have to keep working on ourselves to get better at it.

SithLordJediMaster · 2024-09-05T13:39:00+00:00

Evolutionarily, women have to be picky.

They're the choosers/selectees.

They're the ones who get pregnant for a length of time.

Even though historicaly, humans have been a promiscuous species. W're also designed by evolution for jealousy/mate guarding.

Charles Darwin talked about Natural Selection but also Mate Choosing and Sexual Selection. All animals do this.

All animals choose their mates for specific and various reasons in order for evolution to take place.

The male Peacock has the pretty feathers. So female peacocks try to find the male with the best looking prettiest feathers. So they can pass that gene to their kids.

skulleater666 · 2024-09-05T14:45:31+00:00

Bc on an evolitionary level woman have to be selective beyond whether they are physically attracted or not. This selection process is done through "the game" in modern times.

Intelligent-Can8235 · 2024-09-05T15:37:54+00:00

Yall don’t ask? Not asking is a game. Closed mouths don’t get fed. I never believed it until I met a friend of mine. At the time he was in his 70’s. He would routinely sleep with women in their 30’s through 50’s. I asked him what the secret was and he said just ask. He said his rationale was there’ll say no and you’re in square one, no big deal. Or they’re gonna say yes and you’re sleeping with them.

It’s worked for me when I apply it. Of course I’m not opening with that.

V-Future · 2024-09-05T16:55:21+00:00

LGTB+ individuals often experience greater social acceptance and fewer societal restrictions regarding their relationships and sexuality. This can lead to more freedom in their personal lives. However, it's important to note that everyone's experiences are unique, and not all LGBTQ+ individuals have the same level of acceptance or freedom. This is because of straight conservative people and their stupid beliefs they constantly try to enforce on other people who gives zero fucks about it.

Straight people, on the other hand, may face societal pressures and expectations related to relationships and sexuality. This can sometimes make navigating romantic relationships more complex. So we can find a lot of single moms and dads and horrible relationships even when they played these idiotic games to filter prospects. Did it worth it? Of course not... We should learn a lot from gay folks.

IntrepidAd1449 · 2024-09-05T18:34:21+00:00

Have tried this strategy, not without some minor level mutually attraction & if you come across as sincere it generally works.

Huge_Shower_1756 · 2024-09-05T18:40:45+00:00

You're biased in your analysis. What you define as "games" is just the normal mating rituals of human beings. A woman for instance sees these "games" as being normal and would see blatantly asking for sex as some kind of weird game. Is the female perspective any less legitimate or is it just different?

There are dozens of evolutionary reasons why these covert mating rituals exist and are necessary which I won't go into. But it seems like you're less looking for the actual reasons and more just venting because it would fit your personality more to take a more literal approach to the game of flirting. It's not an uncommon fantasy of men to be able to just straight up ask for sex and the girl says yes. But it will never happen. So let go of that fantasy and learn the game before it's too late

domdomdom333 · 2024-09-06T09:44:53+00:00

It's because of the risk factor. In the mindset of a man it's simple, done and over. For a woman it's a risk to get pregnant which itself leaves her vulnerable for nearly a year and then can have her bound for another 18 at least, let alone the social societal pressures.

drillyapussy · 2024-09-06T13:40:37+00:00

That would be great but I think it’s a turn on for men and women if both of you are getting to know each other a bit and the foreplay, kissing, emotional connection etc is all apart of it while having fun unless it’s out at a club or something then different story. Just fuck fuck fuck would be ideal lol

ZealousidealSwing639 · 2024-09-07T01:01:04+00:00

"why are humans human? it's so ridiculous lol."

ak4790 · 2024-09-08T08:55:56+00:00

Because women make the rules of the dating game, and men have to follow them.

Scoobydoby · 2024-09-10T12:14:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Infinite_Volgar7299 · 2024-09-10T13:13:48+00:00

Eghhh where are all of the 213 comments they can't be visible :D in this post

audhdlover · 2024-09-04T11:58:27+00:00

The reason why is because women need to deceive men… for their best interest.

Animal species where the female is clearly in heat have the males absolutely harassing the females.

Also if sex was so candid it would become transactional… which exists already.

If you want that dynamic with sex you must/can pay for it.

Also, women are hormonal, so today she might agree for sex off pure hormones tomorrow she might not want it, outside of the bound of a social constructs how a man reacts to her changing her mind could be deadly.

And even if she say no I’m not interested it’s not like men would say “ah no problem” there’s potential he’ll get mad.

I’m slyly Autistic so have thought about this already. Extreme example But if you are a 5’1 petite woman interested in a 6’3 Goliath of a man… you might want to conceal your desire until you’re sure he won’t rip your face off if you change your mind😂

Ampboy97 · 2024-09-04T12:02:12+00:00

It’s because most of the world was colonized by sex negative prudes.

Sninxitey · 2024-09-04T12:02:45+00:00

You should actually try this approach. It works better than the bullshit yall try to pull.

Vibez__ · 2024-09-04T10:00:06+00:00

Pregnancy and STDs. If those weren't a thing, women would be much more open to having more sex. I see why women only have sex with higher value males, they have to be more selective for survival purposes.

Thoughtprovokerjoker · 2024-09-05T01:57:06+00:00

Because - it's the greatest force known to us.

It's how we all came into existence.

Commercial-Echo9179 · 2024-09-04T08:09:44+00:00

Honestly, the feeling of love when you care for someone and she looks up to you and only you the most is heavenly. The smile on her face used to reduce my stress and blood pressure. I would have been broken if I found out she looked upto someone and got passionate with another man other than me.

I would fight against a free for all world just because I want that feeling back.

Sometimes you must get out of logic and embrace emotions.

Scoobydoby · 2024-09-04T08:17:03+00:00

Of course it's not for everyone, but I would like it, sometimes I feel a sexual connection with a new woman and would be ice to just ask for sex, like hanging out. Instead 9/10 times nothing happens and it feels like a wasted opportunity

UmpireCurious · 2024-09-04T11:54:43+00:00

Its taboo cause of the old people that dont want to die. We see in media people getting decapitated,extreme gore,free violence. But if you see a naked body its the end of the world. Its sad ngl

sakuragasaki46 · 2024-09-04T08:33:17+00:00

Because investors.

Scoobydoby · 2024-09-04T10:02:09+00:00

But sex is just next level massage, and one think ppl regret on the deathbed is that they wished they had more sex

FootballVideogames · 2024-09-04T11:43:12+00:00

Would be boring then

mister_k1 · 2024-09-04T13:00:44+00:00

the most tone-deaf post in a long while

Poolside_XO · 2024-09-04T10:49:13+00:00

When it comes to humans, there will ALWAYS be games. There has to be a buffer for both sides to save face. What do you think is going to happen when the guy/girl asking gets told "no", directly, one too many times?

You think mass shootings are bad now..

Bulky_Alternative140 · 2024-09-04T11:27:01+00:00

It’s not a taboo. You can ask anyone on the street. In fact sometimes it could work. For me once it led to a date. But I also gave a lot of compliments, like you look so nasty and f$&kable, etc etc

shinn497 · 2024-09-04T13:43:02+00:00

Because it involves emotions. And people can become attached to those they have sex with. I personally want to have sex with a lot of different women (as a man) but , if I was in a committed relationship, I'd be exclusive.

Mountain_Bottle_2482 · 2024-09-04T14:01:29+00:00

80% of communication is non verbal and the other 20% is verbal so in theory you can communicate your intentions in a demure way non verbally and just tell them “we should have sex sometime?” Schedule it and boom

on_a_benderxo · 2024-09-04T14:27:30+00:00

Even though I do it time to time but normally it doesn’t work like that with women, but with gay men you can do it any time

heychirag · 2024-09-04T15:27:24+00:00

It wouldn't be fun, though. I like the game because it's hard. Every success is like reaching the summit after a difficult climb. The satisfaction is unparalleled to if the climb were to be easy. It's human nature to enjoy the process of struggle because that's what makes us happy at the end of the day.

GarugasRevenge · 2024-09-04T16:17:37+00:00

The banter leading up to sex makes it hotter if sparks fly.

WachanIII · 2024-09-04T16:21:15+00:00

It's the Peacock dance we do

PixelSteel · 2024-09-04T16:21:18+00:00

Sounds like someone is getting sick of being denied

benswami · 2024-09-04T17:38:57+00:00

It’s the thrill of the chase!

clonegreen · 2024-09-04T21:10:04+00:00

I don't think it's normal for people to just sum up another as strictly a sexual object

Despite the fact that we all get horny. You'd be a tool to just fuck anything you deem attractive without a vetting process.

BackendSpecialist · 2024-09-05T00:41:08+00:00

Great question.

SecurityDelicious928 · 2024-09-05T01:33:04+00:00

Human nature sort of requires the complication.

Gregory6199 · 2024-09-05T03:40:47+00:00

Did a demon write this?

ThisSuckerIsNuclear · 2024-09-05T06:13:36+00:00

We have to convince women we're not creeps or violent. Plus most are turned on more by feelings

UnPerroTransparente · 2024-09-05T06:32:54+00:00

We might get a Population of 865 billion by 2037

Far_Mud_2860 · 2024-09-05T12:09:11+00:00

Stupid stupid stupid

Illustrious-Care-895 · 2024-09-04T07:32:55+00:00

Because it is about social status.

Getting the high quality women (and sometimes men) is something we all want, but not all get.

Such social norms maintain social peace. We dont cut each other because of a blonde cutie.

ncsakira · 2024-09-04T10:13:23+00:00

Bro the first time you don't ask for sex. You invite her to a multi day trip that involves spending the night at a hotel.

PureFlames · 2024-09-04T08:09:32+00:00

Nah i like the games its more fun

lavahippo · 2024-09-04T17:00:15+00:00

Cause sex is sacred and not a commodity

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