Women love therapy culture until they actually have to practice what they preach.

Zabadoodude · 2026-02-13T20:01:08+00:00

All the women I knew that used therapy speak in real life were extremely selfish and would 100% do this.

I've also known plenty of reasonable, loving, kind women, so it's definitely not all women, but non of them used that lingo.

mrcs84usn · 2026-02-13T20:55:03+00:00

It doesn’t help that men are socialized to suppress their emotions, while women aren’t, so you’ll often deal with a mismatch of emotional skill.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2026-02-13T19:44:43+00:00

If anyone regardless of gender acts like that it’s a huge red flag. Everyone needs to be held accountable, but the important work it holding yourself accountable.

I was in an abusive relationship for years and a few years after I left I got serious therapy, I realised my reactions to people were not okay, I could not take out what had happened to me in others. It was the best thing I have ever done.

Brief-Huckleberry455 · 2026-02-13T20:26:34+00:00

We want men to talk, for sure - if anyone makes you feel like you can't open up and is using therapy speak 'as a weapon' then they're a dick or abusive.

Blacktransjanny · 2026-02-13T20:27:30+00:00

Every women I've known who has gone to therapy loved it when the therapist was less working through issues and more agreeing it was someone else's fault for everything. Those same women talked poorly of therapists who suggested that THEY might be the problem.

AngeAware · 2026-02-13T19:50:59+00:00

Women love therapy culture until they actually have to practice what they preach.

The moment a man says, I need you to think about how I feel or You are responsible for the words you choose, the script flips. Suddenly, the defense from women becomes, 'That’s not how humans work, I’m not a robot.

I was dragged to family therapy for a few months due to a sister who very likely has a personality disorder.

Therapy focused on "I" statements, i.e. "I feel X when Y happens" to avoid coming across as accusatory and putting the other person on the defensive. Funnily enough what you wrote is the opposite of how therapists teach productive communication.

Demasii · 2026-02-13T20:52:51+00:00

That’s not how humans work, I’m not a robot.

This is coming out of left field. What does this mean when it comes to communication or emotional labor?

OkOutlandishness6370 · 2026-02-14T02:27:05+00:00

If you're dealing with a narcissist, therapy and all its concepts become just another weapon in their arsenal to gain leverage and power over you.

You're always fighting with one arm tied behind your back when your partner is a selfish, shitty person. You're trying to defend the relationship and yourself and even them, whereas they only give a shit about themselves - it's asymmetrical. Similar to how Batman can never actually kill the Joker.

And y'know what? Often (not always) the relationship doesn't become hopelessly deadlocked in the first place if one person isn't just ... kinda overall shitty and selfish.

Main-Tiger8537 · 2026-02-13T19:50:32+00:00

are said women who preaching one thing and then practicing something different the same persons?

this entire thing sounds like double standards and men + women set them up in various ways...

what comes to mind is toxic behavior and why it gets gendered or how it gets framed...

Tylikcat · 2026-02-13T21:25:44+00:00

Therapy speak can be used in bad faith. (As an aside, I see a lot of men here doing just that.)

It's toxic, whether it's men or women doing it.

Talking_Tanuki · 2026-02-13T20:50:53+00:00

Those examples don’t really sound like they came from therapy. Most therapists tell you to avoid accusatory tones and “you” statements, and to use “I” statements instead so you’re more likely to be heard.

And therapy isn’t a magic fix. People do struggle to practice what they learn, but that doesn’t turn therapy into a weapon. It takes effort, and it’s a two-way street. You can communicate perfectly, but if your partner won’t meet you halfway, it’s not going to work.

TeensyTea · 2026-02-13T21:36:07+00:00

I think it just feels like a very vague association — like, 'some women that have therapy are also toxic.' I'm struggling to see the causation.

And I think the argument is fundamentally flawed in the sense of what therapy actually is. There's many, many different types of therapy; there's not a universal 'therapy' that I think can be put in a box and used to accurately justify a point like this.

Like, I had cognitive behavioural therapy to help deal with my crippling social anxiety, and it helped a bunch, and I'd recommend it to anyone struggling with the same. Does it have anything even vaguely to do with what you've associated with therapy? Absolutely not.

pie-mart · 2026-02-13T20:36:37+00:00

Another post about something that is gendered for men or women when its a non gendered thing

Manipulative people are all races and genders and heights and class etc

My_House_on_Mars · 2026-02-13T19:49:35+00:00

I need you to think about how I feel or You are responsible for the words

I'd rephrase that to "you are making me feel" "your words make me feel...." Focus on how this affects you instead of ordering the other person to do something. The 2 phrases you wrote are kind of weird.

But if you talk about how things make you feel then the other person can't argue. This is something my therapist told me btw.

If that convo leads nowhere ("I don't care how you feel!!" "you don't have the right to feel this way") then you can choose to opt out of the relationship

ThatBitchA · 2026-02-13T20:04:26+00:00

Do you have an actual example? I'm not sure I understand.

What you said in the OP is unclear.

I don't even know what "therapy culture" is.

softrevolution_ · 2026-02-13T21:53:55+00:00

There's a culture now? Oy, I guess I've been going to therapy since before it was cool. My therapists have just been working with me on the ways my brain malfunctions, and keeping me from burning out at work, and teaching me how to cope when life comes at me swiftly. Even when I was in an abusive relationship, no therapist ever taught me to weaponize what I was learning. Just how to save myself and not hurt anyone else in the process.

calmyourcrabcakes · 2026-02-13T23:56:32+00:00

I feel like you'd be better off sending this directly to whatever woman you're upset with right now instead of making a whole post about it.

FeminismIsMyJam · 2026-02-13T21:03:52+00:00

What exactly is “therapy culture?”

Are you actually going to therapy or are you just cherry pick things you’ve heard that therapists say to their clients and then use them (inappropriately and illogically most likely) when a woman is confronting you about something?

It would be helpful if you could personalize, give some context, and expand on your examples of you really want to debate this.

With what little you provided in the way of supporting evidence, I have to ask when are you using phrases like “need you to think about how I feel,” and “you are responsible for the words you choose?”

Was it during a conversation where she is trying to communicate how something you did or said made her feel?

If so, that would be a case of YOU trying to flip the script and stop the conversation, so you don’t have to acknowledge her feelings or take any accountability for your actions or inactions.

When someone is taking the courage to be vulnerable and communicate how what you do feels on their end, they have the “talking stick.” You do not take away the talking stick, and when you try to turn it around and make it all about you, you are in the wrong and the other person is going get pissed off at you.

This is because you are preventing them from getting relief from the negative emotions they are experiencing.

You will get your turn to hold the talking stick, but it is not during someone else’s turn.

If you are experiencing negative emotions at the actions or inactions of your partner, you need to pick your own moment to have the courage to be vulnerable and communicate them to her, and no, she isn’t allowed to talking stick away from you during that time.

But, they need to be sincere feelings and not some attempt at being manipulative or used to imbalance the power in your relationship in your favor.

I felt like I needed to add that, because what little supporting evidence you provided to support your position feels a little manipulative. Like you are cherry picking to sling mud at women as a group and seeing if you can make it stick.

It’s not sticking at this point.

il_nascosto · 2026-02-13T21:36:12+00:00

LOL 100% true. It’s great when the therapists affirm them, but when the time for personal accountability comes…

I_DOM_UR_PATRIARCHY · 2026-02-13T23:59:42+00:00

Nobody should be weaponizing therapy concepts, but why are you gendering this? What's your evidence that women do this more than men?

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Feisty_Ad8543 · 2026-02-14T00:50:17+00:00

Feel like this is being made gendered when it doesn't have to be

I think there's just a trend of ppl with greater emotional needs gravitating towards emotionally unavailable ppl

So the women who would be willing to listen are chasing after the emotionally unavailable men, and the emotionally available men are chasing after emotionally unavailable women 🤷‍♀️

the_scar_when_you_go · 2026-02-14T01:20:39+00:00

First question in troubleshooting... What's the situation? We'd need to know what that theoretical man's circumstances are and what he wants to accomplish.

Second and third questions: Is the tool he's trying to use the right one for the job, and is he using it correctly? If not, of course it's not getting him from A to B.

Fourth question: Is this a hardware problem or a software problem? If it's something that can be fixed with effort, he can set realistic expectations and move forward. If it's the system itself, he needs to stop trying to make it work. He'll only get more frustrated.

Gotta have that info. Otherwise, the spaces are filled with assumptions. And while I can guess, my guesses wouldn't be flattering.

But, while I'm here, can we pls quit characterizing men as inherently worse ppl? There's nothing about men's brains or bodies that makes it uniquely harder to be good ppl. Misandry isn't cool.

DMmeClownPics · 2026-02-14T02:37:28+00:00

I can’t speak for all women, but I was diagnosed with BPD when I was really young and I took that shit seriously. Every time I was hospitalized and did group therapy I paid attention like I was studying for an important exam and I learned and practiced healthy communication skills so that I could make sure my issues would not be someone else’s problem. It took time, but I got there. I have been in remission for well over a decade. If someone were to say things to me like what’s in the OP I will sit up and take notice. Even if it’s communicated to me in a less healthy manner, I will try to get to the root of the issue and handle it if there’s something I could be doing better.

AlarmingArm9919 · 2026-02-14T04:52:04+00:00

why do you then let them win the argument

SnooMarzipans8221 · 2026-02-14T17:30:41+00:00

Therapy isn't supposed to be weaponized like that, and this doesn't have to be gendered: Toxic people, man or woman, will gaslight their victims.

Murky_Record8493 · 2026-02-14T21:13:25+00:00

Um I actually have an answer for this 🤓☝️. It's an energy thing. It doesn't matter how sophisticated the language is, a coward can find a way to twist anything into a defence.

So just look at energy and ask yourself, do I want this energy in my life? People are complex creatures, and sometimes it's worth dealing with the cringiest of energies because you know there is more to this person.

But sometimes it's not. If as a grown man/woman you cannot decide what is worth putting up with.. then who else can you blame but yourself? (I suppose we can blame society, but we are society lol)

If your girlfriend is a loser, then tell her. If your boyfriend is a loser, tell them. If you are a loser, then stop ignoring the signs. Life isn't hard, but we make it hard by complicating the most simplest of things. Life is not a movie 🍿

Now happy Valentine's Day ❤️ enjoy life man 😁

edit. The only real way to be a loser is to play games. you can never win. Its was never about money or status 🥠

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2026-02-14T21:37:04+00:00

Its funny because in reality it's women that don't communicate, expect us ro read their mind and get mad if we dare express how we feel. Women only care about what benefits them. And, no, I have never met a woman that's not like this.

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-02-13T19:51:52+00:00

Because your putting more labour on women

It’s like when couples go to therapy because he wants more sex snd she wants him to help more with childcare and domestic work because she doesn’t feel appreciated or valued. If the therapist turns round to the tried women and just says “just have sex” all they are hearing is “just do more”

To someone already at the end of their tether, asking for help, asking the other partner to meet them half way and just being told “do more fir me” it’s enough to decide to walk away

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-02-13T21:59:46+00:00

Whenever a woman makes a post on a relationship sub, people always ask if she “communicated” sufficiently, or caused a misunderstanding, or failed to see her partner’s side of things

Regular-Shame3765 · 2026-02-13T19:59:51+00:00

So are you saying you guys are fighting the urges every day to not just go out and rape women then?

What do you mean by **"You expect men to fight our physiology, hormones, and basic instincts every day to be better men"?**

Solondthewookiee · 2026-02-13T21:03:07+00:00

The moment a man says, I need you to think about how I feel or You are responsible for the words you choose, the script flips. Suddenly, the defense from women becomes, 'That’s not how humans work, I’m not a robot.

Where is this?

TheRedPillRipper · 2026-02-13T20:44:49+00:00

therapy culture

First, I’m a big a proponent for therapy/counselling. That said, the key outcome is Objectivity. Which one can attain a multitude of ways. Therapy and counselling. Mentorship. Sharing with close ones. Journalling. Self reflection. Self driven deep research. Presumably now A.I. too. Therapy is just one tool towards the goal of widening perspective.

practice what they preach

This is the key. As soon as anyone starts to attribute blame, or generalise their personal behaviours to avoid ownership of them they have missed the point of Therapy. Therapy is about self empowerment. First, through sufficiently broadening one’s perspective through objectivity. Then actioning this new worldview through practice. It is that simple.

Title	Women love therapy culture until they actually have to practice what they preach.
Author	Pitiful-Purple-7459
Upvotes	147
Comments	210
Date	February 13, 2026 7:35 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1r3ysty/women_love_therapy_culture_until_they_actually/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-love-therapy-culture-until-they-actually.1573402 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573402

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