Suicidal

Remarkable-Towel-173 · 2024-09-06T03:30:54+00:00

Know that you will look back on this day and wonder how you got through this, but you will get through it. I am coming out of the deep and dark feeling of loss and feeling a euphoria of being free. My advice is to embrace the freedom.

Workout every day. Avoid alcohol. Do things that make you happy, do them alone if you have to, but do them. Re connect with old friends. Go to therapy. Get into a routine. Date when your ready.

DuelCitizener · 2024-09-06T00:33:18+00:00

Firstly, I totally understand how you feel this way because you’re in entire world appears to you as if it’s over and there’s nothing more but the truth is this is the start of your second life.

Many of us here have shed dark thoughts because we really cared for our wives and feel deep emotions about their action. Lies, betrayal, cheating, duplicity, narcissism… These are all things that have a deep impact on us as men.

The good news is that your second life is going to be awesome. But it does require you put some work in. That means getting professional help, some fitness program, such as a gym, reconnecting with friends and family, finding passions that you really enjoy and then let relationships happen naturally.

Drink, drugs, one night stands, won’t make you feel any better. In fact, some of them may be regressive .Casual sex is a temporary Band-Aid and often leads to more emotional turmoil.

Although it’s hard to always do, the power of now can be helpful – being grateful for what you have at this point in time. For example, I was going through some dark and depressing thoughts when someone I know got a very serious and debilitating disease. While it was awful for them, it did make me realize that in my situation wasn’t as bad , and I had to take solace in what I do have.

You got this.

familymanlikesfamily · 2024-09-06T00:14:48+00:00

You'll get over this.

Get that nonsense out of your head as best as you can. Be grateful for all that you have experienced and that's because you have this thing called life.

It's meant to beat you at time to appreciate the good. I think many of us have had dark thoughts. I compare my most recent moments of joy, whether I got a great laugh or experienced a memorable event and remind myself that it would not have happened if I was not breathing today. Be excited for what may be coming next.

The bad is also meant to teach you something. You'll thrive over time if you choose to think positively. Eff those thoughts for someone who don't give a shit about you.

love_tit_milk · 2024-09-05T23:56:29+00:00

No pussy is worth losing life or limb over.

Best way to get over an ex is to be in and under new women.

Just follow the rules of the graph in below link and stay away from the crazies out there.

https://imgur.com/a/ro86Czg

Now go find yourself a new muse. 😉

Cute-sailorboyz · 2024-09-05T23:41:39+00:00

Honestly mine was out of spite and love for my child.

Do everything you can to show that you’re stronger than you think you are. Challenge yourself in some way healthy. I will get up, I will take a shower, eat breakfast something. One step and one day at a time.

There will always be some shit in life, find small things to enjoy or take pride in

tomsnow164 · 2024-09-05T23:40:56+00:00

Hey man, I know it feels like your world is falling apart, but that’s exactly what needs to happen. That life you had? It wasn’t built with the right person, and now it’s collapsing to make way for something better. This pain? It’s temporary, and it’s only making you stronger.

The truth is, you will crush life. Your future is going to be better, and you can’t stop it—you can only slow it down. The work is hard, but it’s already happening. You’re being shaped into someone stronger, someone who will live a life that’s bigger and better than you can imagine right now. You’ll come out of this with strength and resilience that nothing can take away from you. Keep pushing, because you’re on a path to greatness, and nothing is going to stop that.

Temporary_Practice_2 · 2024-09-05T23:40:45+00:00

Hey! Please read this essay (if possible) get the book too:

https://therationalmale.com/2017/12/11/zeroed-out/

There is a video too:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S-RTBN2qHjk

Icantremember017 · 2024-09-05T23:40:09+00:00

In the same boat bro, you're not alone

Sad_Nobody4454 · 2024-09-05T23:39:46+00:00

It’s not that deep bro find your own happiness I know you had hobbies before her dumb ahhh do you gang suicide is for quitters and we’ve been winning. From what I know

Comradepatrick · 2024-09-05T23:39:28+00:00

If you have firearms, get them out of the house. Ask a friend or family member to come over and take them , just for a little while until you're feeling more like yourself.

pikohina · 2024-09-05T23:38:54+00:00

Hey man, hang in there. Many of us here had the same thoughts. Just reaching out to you to lend support. You are currently in the worst part, it will get better.

xeskind30 · 2024-09-05T23:25:28+00:00

Hey, brother. Just take it one day at a time. Try to get some help suggested by the others who posted here.

Stay away from alcohol and other substances. These are going to impair you and cloud your mind. You need to be sharp in the coming days.

Don't give up because if you do, she wins. I know it may seem difficult, but tomorrow is a new day, and you can make that hurdle.

Stay strong, and God bless.

Special_Profit4509 · 2024-09-05T23:22:46+00:00

Do you have a church or fellowship hall you can join. This has helped me a lot with my divorce, gives routine to a hectic life.

KREsketch · 2024-09-05T23:22:09+00:00

It feels awful right now because you are feeling how much you loved her. That’s the shitty thing about love. You mourn it as hard as you gave it. Be kind to yourself. It’s ok to cry and let this out.

One day, you will realize you feel better. One day you might even meet someone who makes you feel that way again. I thought it wouldn’t happen to me, but it did.

Time is the great healer

Boomhower113 · 2024-09-05T23:09:49+00:00

You do this. She wins.

cbudd1117 · 2024-09-05T23:07:55+00:00

Thank you all so much. God bless you all.

DarkKn1ghtyKnight · 2024-09-05T22:59:34+00:00

I’ll echo, stay the fuck away from alcohol and opioid/coca-based substances.

Find a support system. Hell, even if you haven’t really started any kind of substances, go to an AA or NA meeting. Talk during “burning desires.”

Suicide won’t solve, in fact, she wins. Don’t let her win.

Ancient-Homework7557 · 2024-09-05T22:51:52+00:00

You can't control her. But you can control YOU and your reactions to situations in life. Talk to God, friends, family, a counselor. There is only one "her" in the world. So, she left. there are literally billions of other women out there who would be happy to have you. BUT DON'T DEFINE YOUR SELFWORTH BY THE WHIM OF OTHERS. Why would you subject yourself to someone who doesn't want to be with you? You're better than that. You'll get through this. But not if you give up on yourself at the starting line. (or any other time for that matter) Pulling for you. God bless.

Financial-Builder-92 · 2024-09-05T22:48:20+00:00

Don't do anything stupid and especially don't go drinking! These women are not worth the time, and it takes time to heal. Walk, go to the gym, talk to family, and be careful what you say to people. Also, get on your knees and pray to the Lord Jesus! He will save your butt...

BaldieGoose · 2024-09-05T22:26:12+00:00

Please call 988

Deezio1982 · 2024-09-05T22:14:42+00:00

One day at a time. My dumb ass went from one relationship and got into another right away to make me feel better younger girl much hotter amazing at sex but crazy as the day is long, now I’m trying to get over both relationships because I didn’t allow myself to heal.

Long story short, the old adage this too shall pass, is what to live by. In a year or maybe two you’re gonna look back at it and be glad it all happened. Stay strong, I know she shattered your world but now it’s time for you to focus on you, and if you have any kids on them.

That’s easier said than done , but allow yourself to cry, go out and find something that you like to do and do it, do something that’s going to give you a sense of freedom that you didn’t have before. If she wasn’t cool with you drinking with your friends, go do that if she wasn’t cool with you, going fishing or golfing whenever you wanted, go do that. do the things that are going to make you feel good about yourself and know that you have a growth opportunity in front of you.

WittyBeautiful7654 · 2024-09-05T22:10:53+00:00

Brother it's rough and it's not gonna go away fast. Best bet, therapy, talk to your God. Get active and stay on it. The memories are gonna sneak in a lot. Gotta grieve and move forward. It will get easier I'm sorry and I know it hurts

Edd2323 · 2024-09-05T22:09:37+00:00

don’t be another one. you are a man!!our life is hard, but we have made this civilization together. Life does not end with a woman be stronger than that. Devote your time and money to get out of this mindset. when I went through my divorce, I hit the gym to get my body tired so my mind could sleep and rest. I hiked every day for almost a year to give myself peace. I hope you find the courage. and take the advice from the many who have been in your shoes before, and now walk in a better light today.

TomSolo2024 · 2024-09-05T22:06:47+00:00

I was there in April of this year. It's the worst feeling I've ever endured, but I can tell you that just like any other acute injury, you will survive and eventually start to heal. The first month was the worst for me. I had severe hunger pangs, but couldn't eat. Despite not eating I was shitting 5x a day. I couldn't sleep because my mind was racing trying to figure out what I did wrong and how to "fix" it. I also contemplated taking my own life.

I'm thankful that I had a strong group of men around me whom I could talk to - and I mean I shared EVERYTHING with them. They supported me and helped me walk through it. If you don't have any guys you can talk to IRL, you have this group here. We know what you're going through, and there is nothing that can prepare you for it. However, as everyone here is saying, it DOES get better, but you have to endure the pain first. There's no way around that.

My first reaction was to drink a lot and get as high as I could, but when I did that I realized I had even less control of my thoughts, so I wound up quitting all of it entirely, and that actually helped.

The other thing I did that helped me - and I'm no psychologist, so this is not a prescription, just sharing what helped me - is that I started thinking of my wife as having died. It allowed me to mourn the woman I loved and the good times we had together before she started her affair. I didn't recognize the woman who wanted a divorce - that wasn't my wife - and it was easier to go through the process that way.

The world is better with you in it, and your LIFE will be much better on the other side of this. I know it sounds stupid, but try to be present in the pain. The highs of your new life will be much higher when you can remember what the lowest of lows feels like.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, man. Reach out if you want to talk.

Indepedence-david · 2024-09-05T22:00:50+00:00

Be strong 💪🏽. Pray , Gym and Grind. Is the only way, the more miserable you get the more she wins. Don’t let her win

SireSweet · 2024-09-05T21:59:45+00:00

The gym. Drinking. Fucking. Work.

Reflog1791 · 2024-09-05T21:49:35+00:00

Go to a counselor. If you don’t get relief in 2 sessions, go to another counselor.

I was in your shoes man and I’m glad to report 5 years later everything came up aces and I’m happy my ex bounced.

Upset_Sky_8485 · 2024-09-05T21:46:24+00:00

Hey, man. I sent you a lengthy chat and messaged your inbox. This happened to me on Friday. You're not alone. I hope my perspective helps. Feel free to DM me!

Positive-War3957 · 2024-09-05T21:19:14+00:00

She is not worth your life brother

CoconutHead66 · 2024-09-05T21:18:37+00:00

Hey! If you need to talk to someone, DM me! I’ve been pretty low and it helps to talk to someone. But as most are saying here, don’t do it. Breathe. As hard as it is to just hear people say that, know that they are lots of people who have or are going through the same thing!

deludedhairspray · 2024-09-05T21:09:43+00:00

I was where you are one year ago. Just wanted to end things. But kept going slowly slowly. Got help at a hospital. Got medicine. Got therapy. Got a sick leave. Walked the dog with my dad. Got food from my mom. Stayed at their place for a long time. Gradually built me up. One year later now - and I'm in a much much better place. I got my own apartment now, a new job, medicine is working - life is looking pretty good again. And it will for you too. You just need to get over this first bump, go to a hospital or similar and receive the help they can give you. You will get through this, OP. You will. I promise. Just do your end of this and stay alive. ❤️

Affectionate-Bit3415 · 2024-09-05T21:05:30+00:00

There is a lot of love and support for you right now. All of us have extended our hands and we are reaching for you. Take a hand. You aren’t alone. You are meant to be here in this moment. The pain is transforming you into a magnificent specimen of humanity. Transformation is painful but trust the process. You are on your way to being so much more than what you think you are right now.

Call 988 and post here later tonight. Let others know what you learned. We need your insight!

TXJohn83 · 2024-09-05T20:52:16+00:00

It will always get better with time... but please go to a hospital now to get you over this bump.

allstonguy1011 · 2024-09-05T20:44:14+00:00

Do you have kids or a daughter?

Brilliant_Lime_3105 · 2024-09-05T20:26:03+00:00

How sorry I am for you, loneliness is hard. I don't know the situations of your divorce, but if you die, you only leave your house and your pensions to her. DON'T ALLOW HER TO LAUGH AT THE END.

The night is darker than the dawn but rest assured that soon you will have your dawn.

Xan-Diesel · 2024-09-05T20:24:24+00:00

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I was watching a YouTube video not too long ago about some of the training our special operators go through and one of the Tier 1 guys said something that stuck with me. He said something to the effect of “when you’re 100% done - you’re only 60% done”.

You’re capable of more than you realize.

DudeforRighteousness · 2024-09-05T20:23:53+00:00

God helped me.

Just remember that feelings are temporary and they will pass.

JJJflight · 2024-09-05T20:18:37+00:00

I was there and I can promise you your best years are ahead of you, don’t give up on life over a women, dont let her do that to you.

probebeta · 2024-09-05T20:17:45+00:00

One thing I can tell you is DO NOT hurt yourself over some chick. Just don't.

fireight · 2024-09-05T20:10:37+00:00

You'll find a younger woman. Come on.
You could use therapy and gym, but everyone around will tell you this so...

SouthParkTimmy · 2024-09-05T19:54:25+00:00

This WILL pass!!!

dave2118 · 2024-09-05T19:50:30+00:00

It gets better. Work on yourself and talk to someone. When I got to that point, I knew I needed therapy, and it was good just to talk to someone.

There's more to life than being married, you'll find someone that appreciates you and loves you. To get to that point, you need to work on yourself. THINGS WILL GET BETTER!

vladsuntzu · 2024-09-05T19:48:48+00:00

You are a valuable human being! Put “suicide hotline” in a Google search and it will give you options. Or, dial 988 on your phone.

Read through this, too:

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.

The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

—Meggie Royer

soontobesolo · 2024-09-05T19:47:33+00:00

Please get some help. Therapy works.. Get to the gym too, it's as important to your psyche as your body. You need to get the energy out.

Maybe making strategy and taking control can help. My general advice:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/Xlz7urG4Xh

I'm sure it doesn't look that way, but please believe us, things get a lot better. Even better than they were.

Good luck.

Timely_Froyo1384 · 2024-09-05T19:44:42+00:00

You are worth more, please reach out to a hotline or a real friend.

Dumpster_Fyr · 2024-09-05T19:40:58+00:00

I've stood right where you are right now brother. More than once. Seriously, very dark times. Stick with it brother. You're going to get out. You're going to make it. Let me know if you need to talk with someone man I got you

zemira_draper · 2024-09-05T19:40:45+00:00

By going to bed each night and waking up the next day. Didn’t necessarily enjoy every day but got through it. Reached out to close friends when I needed to. What you’re feeling is perfectly normal given the situation bro. Don’t shy away from sharing that with others who love and care about you.

ElConquistador91 · 2024-09-05T19:31:49+00:00

Just know that even if it seems like this feeling of despair will never pass, it will, and you’ll be stronger because of it. Embrace the reality of the situation. Reach out and call friends/family/etc., my divorce was pretty amicable but there were still times I felt lonely, and that’s what helped me.

Competitive-Donut790 · 2024-09-05T19:30:43+00:00

Just breathe.

Find a counselor.

This is part of rhe stages of grief.

If you have a safe group to talk to, do that.

Vent on here.

Walk outdoors.

Breathe some more.

It's literally one day at a time.

Process those emotions. You got this.

DisgruntledSalt · 2024-09-05T19:25:57+00:00

Stop thinking about it force yourself to go to the gym. Running has relieved massive amounts of anxiety for me

EmotionSix · 2024-09-05T19:22:34+00:00

Don’t let her win. She wants you dead. Don’t give her the satisfaction!

No_Special379 · 2024-09-05T19:17:41+00:00

988 my man. Don't let those thoughts fester

Tittsmagee78 · 2024-09-05T19:16:32+00:00

You can feel that way, but don’t fucking do it. Trust me, those feelings will come and go for a while but on the other side I will guarantee you that life will be better once all the bullshit is over.

Start taking care of yourself, join a gym and start working out. Get out and start doing things you used to enjoy, but told yourself you don’t have time for anymore.

It really helps if you can find a like minded friend who shares the same hobbies and is going through the same thing. It was a game changer for me.

No_Pace2396 · 2024-09-05T19:11:30+00:00

It’ll feel like that. I can tell you from the perspective of having a partner who killed herself during divorce, what you leave behind is horrible. Not for your ex, but for everybody else.

Before she died, we talked about suicide. Not in a practical way, but I thought a theoretical way. First thing is that if you have kids suicide is not an option. Never. After that, think about what’s happening. If you don’t have kids, you get through your divorce and you are free to do whatever you want. Women leave. Even if they stay married to you. It’s a man’s decision to stay.

Pick up a book on stoicism. The stoics aren’t necessarily opposed to suicide, but they deal with those thoughts. Or, there’s a podcast called A Man’s Journey Through Divorce. And he deals with a lot of the feelings of fear and uncertainty in the initial days and if you’re unfortunate months and years of divorce. How it affects men. Lots of stoic themes. The first thing to know is that even 1000s of years ago the stoics said…no matter what you’re facing, you aren’t the first man to have faced these challenges.

Take stock of what you do have. If she left, you’re still in the house. Change the locks, and secure your financial accounts. If you don’t have much, there’s not much to fight about.

You can tell your therapist. I would stop short of telling him that you are actively suicidal. But you can talk through your thoughts with him. You can PM me.

huggsnkisses · 2024-09-05T19:03:25+00:00

Let's give up some good breakup songs reply to this with your favorite

Gorilla Zoe - Echo

Brave_Quantity_5261 · 2024-09-05T18:59:09+00:00

All I can really say is what worked for me - I just allowed myself to feel that way. Don’t fight the feelings, they’re normal. Divorce is quite possibly the toughest thing most people go thru so it’s going to suck. Suck real bad. No easy way out, you just got to go thru it and feel the pain. But understanding that and knowing that everyone else understands that helped me a lot. Quit trying to find a shortcut, or thinking there’s something you could be doing to not hurt so bad. And just know that everyone else understands. Any single person who has ever been married (or knows someone who has been married) understands your pain. I’m a year separated and that is what helped me get this far.

huggsnkisses · 2024-09-05T18:51:10+00:00

Don't actually tell anyone that. You'll be sent to a mental hospital and your shit will really be crumbling.

To answer your question just eat sleep and stay away from alcohol delete Facebook and start lifting weights

chrishooley · 2024-09-05T18:50:14+00:00

It’s hard man. It takes time. I suggest calling or texting 988 on your phone. It’s private and judgment free. They are the best equipped to help you right now.

You can do this. You got this.

Extension-Mail234 · 2024-09-05T18:49:18+00:00

Call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, friend. You have plenty of life left to live. Might feel like your word as you know it is crumbling, but you can get through this.

Several-Eagle4141 · 2024-09-05T18:46:45+00:00

The knowledge that I’m not alone here. Through this pain is the real way out. Not ending it artificially.

I’m going to win by finding that next person while she toils and does that one thing she only cares about besides family.

Title	Suicidal
Author	cbudd1117
Upvotes	10
Comments	70
Date	September 5, 2024 6:35 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f9tsrf/suicidal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/suicidal.1529506 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529506

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