Quick unmatch after one early text. I’m finally learning to not waste time by trusting my gut.

yesmme · 2021-09-07T00:11:36+00:00

He’s talking to you like it’s a bloody business meeting. Fuck that. He’s so rude.

basuragoddess · 2021-09-07T02:26:20+00:00

Ha ha ha lmfao. “I’ll lose interest” oh nooo. 😂 boy bye. Perfect level of snark in your response also.

p0ludnitsa · 2021-09-07T00:32:53+00:00

I'm really glad that you're figuring out what your boundaries are.

I like talk on the phone and muchhhhh prefer it to texting, especially with romantic prospects. They have less time to research or come up with lies when you're speaking to them "live".

HOWEVER. His response was just rude. It sounds like he was trying to conflate his value to you by saying he'll "lose interest" if you don't talk to him immediately/compete with however many other women he's talking to for his attention.

Next.

notbossyjustaboss · 2021-09-07T00:44:23+00:00

It can be a good vetting strategy to purposefully disagree about certain topics before meeting in person and this is why. The way he responds to a "no" tells so much about his character.

annedr3ww · 2021-09-07T00:10:25+00:00

👏 👏 I’m actually doing the same thing! It’s liberating. Practicing boundaries and actually seeing who will respect them esp. after telling guys, it’s a safety issue since we are all essentially strangers

Kimpractical · 2021-09-07T02:49:05+00:00

“I’ll lose interes…” okay bye lol

queenofswordsxxx · 2021-09-07T01:16:46+00:00

This ‘my way or the highway’ type is exactly the type of abusive misogynist that Lundy Bancroft warns against

sewingmachinesavior · 2021-09-07T01:10:17+00:00

“Say more” demanding much? Girl, this was a disaster waiting to happen. Glad you saw and got out fast.

Swoleunicorn · 2021-09-07T01:11:56+00:00

Wow. That guy is rude. I just unmatched a guy that said, “To be honest, this conversation is boring. Do you feel you have a connection with me?” I was asking him questions the whole time and putting effort in. No thanks. That’s just rude.

blackmetalbetty · 2021-09-07T01:49:15+00:00

I'll lose interest.

Boy, bye. Stop acting like you're this irreplaceable resource sought after far and wide by women. Dude really thought you were going to be like "yes, sir! 😰" lmfaoo

TieDieEye · 2021-09-07T00:23:20+00:00

Of course he said Japan 😂😂😂😂😂😂

lakat17 · 2021-09-07T03:21:56+00:00

If he had real responsibilities, he would just reply when he could .. and that’s it. These men always tell on themselves. Men are ruthless when it comes to unmatching and not giving a fuck… this attitude screams of desperation.

SlayOfSunshine · 2021-09-07T03:30:37+00:00

He is rude af and I don’t like sharing my phone number with men after barely messaging in the app. I don’t want to give men that type of access to me. If I just gave my number out willy nilly, loads of rando men would be bothering me. He sounds disrespectful and damn sure doesn’t care about your comfort or feelings. Go you!

FUBARfromLSA · 2021-09-07T01:00:49+00:00

Lol- he’s THREATENING to lose interest? Uh ok.

bye

shedipity · 2021-09-07T00:29:44+00:00

what a jerk, that message sums up real quick what he’s looking for.

lilac-hiraeth · 2021-09-07T00:13:59+00:00

“I’m so busy trying to hurry up to find a woman to trick into tolerating me for a few weeks so I can try to get my dick wet.” -That guy.

VanessaViews · 2021-09-07T02:25:17+00:00

Was he in the military?

Yellowsunflowerlover · 2021-09-07T03:48:12+00:00

The say more part had already grossed me out. What an asshole. He’s talking to you like you’re beneath him.

smg222888 · 2021-09-07T02:00:55+00:00

The great thing about boundaries is that they double as a filter

Determinedblonde · 2021-09-07T02:27:41+00:00

1) rude man

2) “Japan”. Such a flat response. No explanation. Lazy af

asianinindia · 2021-09-07T01:38:50+00:00

He's acting like this is some sort of audition and he's the prize? Lol.

comet2004 · 2021-09-07T02:49:33+00:00

I'm someone who prefers to call instead of text. That being said first of all i'd ask to call way more politely than the way he was doing it. He basically demanded it. Second of all, if someone told me they would rather text longer, I'd absolutely respect their boundaries and just continue talking until they are talk. Either that or if I lost interest i'd just stop responding. Bullet dodged, he is entitled and rude.

Feministtiktok · 2021-09-07T03:41:14+00:00

Ew dude is snappyyyy he is so sassy. I don’t give out my number on dating apps or men I meet irl either because you can find someone’s address with a phone number. I only let them have a social media I don’t use and locked down on privacy like a side Instagram or an abandoned Snapchat account. And that’s IF I like them after talking to them.

Ironsculpture · 2021-09-07T05:35:29+00:00

"I'll lose interest if..." This scrote doesn't know his place. I wouldn't have even replied to that.

mini_baguette · 2021-09-07T02:59:32+00:00

Controlling alert!!!! The fact he said “Japan.” with a whole period after it shows he was trying to assert some weird dominance. Thank goodness he revealed his garbage nature right off the bat.

❤️

PinkPetalCdistbeauty · 2021-09-07T03:29:22+00:00

Rude as shit.

preppykat3 · 2021-09-07T02:02:25+00:00

Yep. I’ve blocked guys who seemed decent at first many times. I’ve learned not to get excited or hopeful anymore. Most will show their true colors really quick! They’ve gotten quite lazy.

lolmemberberries · 2021-09-07T03:02:07+00:00

Oof, he sounds like an asshole. Your parting words were on point.

MyLifeIsWandsXIII · 2021-09-07T04:29:26+00:00

This guy sounds unbearable just from this interaction alone.

awhileagonow · 2021-09-07T06:07:32+00:00

I had a brief interaction with a guy on Tinder recently who wanted to switch to WhatsApp after exchanging only a couple of messages. I said the same as you, that I wanted to stay on the app for a while, and he replied that he liked to 'carefully manage' his time and couldn't keep going on to Tinder to look for new messages.

I said, what difference does it make whether we're messaging on Tinder or WhatsApp? A notification pings when someone contacts you, then you reply.

He answered that he only has Tinder on a laptop and not on his phone.

🚩🚩🚩

Noone who is genuinely using Tinder to find an honest, monogamous relationship with no deceit involved keeps the app on a laptop and doesn't add it to their phone where they can respond in real time. Only someone who is cheating will use it in a weird way that is slow and would be a needless hassle to anyone else.

I wonder if your guy was the same. Perhaps he didn't want the app on his phone. It's easier to cover tracks by exchanging phone numbers; he just adds you to his contacts as 'Frank'.

Oh and bonus reason: he can safely send shit to your phone that would get him reported and banned if he sent it on Tinder.

ShegoGreen · 2021-09-07T03:47:03+00:00

It's the way he said it. If his goal was really to court you he would have said, "I'm sorry miss I prefer to speak in person as I find it difficult to look at my phone while I'm working." Or he would've entertained texting. Because really, what does it cost him?

Sounds like he wants to rush women in order to lock someone down as quickly as possible without even considering if she feels romanced or comfortable at the very least.

IndigoTR · 2021-09-07T01:11:58+00:00

Lmao I love your response!!!! I definitely have to use that.

NottodayScrote · 2021-09-07T04:58:02+00:00

You made the right call there. He thinks he's the prize

LR_today · 2021-09-07T05:03:36+00:00

Please please please don't use Tinder for anything but unsatisfying casual sex. It's 100% LVM and rapists.

FDS-GFY · 2021-09-07T05:10:54+00:00

Just a thought. Next time skip the explanation.

It may feel good. It’s far more effective to just delete and block

InjuryOnly4775 · 2021-09-07T05:10:56+00:00

This really pisses me off. Some men act like OLD is a free escort service, like listen to my gross fantasies, or send me some goods or let’s meet up in the next 20 minutes. If that’s what you are after than Damn well go pay for it. Losers.

dancedancedance7 · 2021-09-07T04:34:57+00:00

Yikes he's terrible. Good call.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-09-07T04:55:14+00:00

It's not trivial, it's rude.

muffy2008 · 2021-09-07T07:08:47+00:00

Hell yeah. A guy I matched with wanted to call me and I told him I don’t like talking on the phone with people I don’t know. The next day, he told me he’d call me. And I again, told him I didn’t want to talk on the phone. The next day (yesterday), he just straight up calls me. I didn’t answer, but the complete lack of respect of my boundaries is a huge red flag.

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purasangria · 2021-09-07T00:24:10+00:00

For me, someone who wants to actually talk on the phone is a green flag. I hate texting, so if he wants to talk, that's great for me. He doesn't want to hide behind the phone.

Everyone's different, I guess.

serenity-art · 2021-09-07T00:58:38+00:00

I wish I found this community earlier. He was rude and demanding with that “say more”. You approached this beautifully.

NoOrdinaryLifeXO · 2021-09-07T05:07:34+00:00

Good for you. I also trust my gut.

I can't even be bothered with online dating. The only time I've used Tinder is to help my girl friends catch their LV boyfriends on there. It's amazing how many dudes are so desperate they will message you without a profile photograph and without any bio info.

misandryisnotreal · 2021-09-07T01:39:03+00:00

“Say more” and “I’ll lose interest in you if you don’t do the thing you specifically said you don’t want to do” ???? He’s rude as hell, and good for you for noticing what could be subtle undertones to many.

Title	Quick unmatch after one early text. I’m finally learning to not waste time by trusting my gut.
Author	ro0ibos2
Upvotes	707
Comments	76
Date	September 7, 2021 12:06 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pjbqwl/quick_unmatch_after_one_early_text_im_finally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/quick-unmatch-after-one-early-text-im-finally.1067649 https://theredarchive.com/post/1067649

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