Women are the victims. Stop yourselves men!!!

theothermod · 2017-09-24T21:43:34+00:00

Hello and welcome to /r/MensRights. If you are not a subscriber, please take a moment to understand what you are seeing.

This subreddit is about the issues faced by men in our society.

We welcome healthy debate and you won't be banned merely for disagreement. It is common here to reject feminist ideology, but that doesn't mean we hate women or oppose equal rights. Rather, we seek to expand those equal rights to include men.

These are some of the best discussions we've had. There is also a documentary made by a feminist who investigated our movement. If you want to know more about the issues we are concerned with, try these books: The War Against Boys by Christina Hoff Sommers or The Myth of Male Power by Warren Farrell.

Relevant to the current post is the fact that not only men, but women can be control freaks too.

Thank you for being open minded.

MagicTampon · 2017-09-24T15:24:49+00:00

I see more female who are control freaks in relationships than I see men who are control freaks in relationships.

whoop_there_she_is · 2017-09-24T20:44:11+00:00

Alright. Gonna get obliterated, but here goes. These 2 posters are part of a larger series that includes man-on-man abuse, woman-on-man abuse, and woman-on-woman abuse. Not only that, but a simple google search gives you that this image was reposted off an online website (originally posted in 2013), for the 2013/ 2014 "This Is Abuse" campaign in Suffolk, England. It was a kind of contest, lots of different posters were created by different people and the selected ones were put up around town. Other posters presented that year: "This doesn't happen to guys" poster and "When your girlfriend is "jealous", that's abuse. Look up "Joyful heart domestic abuse posters" for more.

Reposting an image of a 2013 incomplete set of posters as “evidence of sexism against men” isn’t just a dumb mistake, it’s the kind of thing that’s intentionally put to a group of people for mindless upvotes and hate-mongering. When you have to go purposefully searching for old-ass images that prove one side while purposefully leaving out the bigger picture (AKA that this campaign had a variety of posters, and that this campaign did a lot of good for YOUR cause), you’re only damaging this subreddit’s reputation. There are important things to be fighting out there, but it’s kinda sad that THIS example is what the community decides is worth rallying around. There are much better ways of discussing invisible abuse against men.

Not only that, but all the top comments are just... anecdotally complaining about women? Not even addressing the subject at hand? How does that further mens' rights?

Proteus_Marius · 2017-09-24T15:54:57+00:00

That abuse poster pair is a form of intellectual abuse.

HellstromC · 2017-09-24T15:58:39+00:00

Stupid Tart.

CapnMajor · 2017-09-24T16:05:18+00:00

"This is abuse. Stop yourself" is a fallacy, surely?

Abusers either know they are abusing and are happy to continue to, or they see absolutely nothing wrong with their behaviour.

Some would think they are just ousting men as an abusive gender. Shocking.

ImALoneWolfBaby · 2017-09-24T16:04:46+00:00

I feel bad for laughing at Stupid Tart. I agree with comments here about women being more controlling than men more commonly.

HeForeverBleeds · 2017-09-24T18:42:26+00:00

Unfortunately, it's not just this poster. The discussion of domestic violence in general still tends to have the presumption that it's always or vastly more often the man who's the abuser

This tendency becomes even more senseless when one considers that women are as controlling if not more towards men than men are towards women in relationships. Things like this just perpetuate the "men are abusers; women are victims" myth that contributes to why male victims rarely get shelter or support and female abusers rarely face any punishment

toasty_333 · 2017-09-24T18:25:45+00:00

To be fair, I've seen these for both sexes.

BarefootUnicorn · 2017-09-24T16:03:20+00:00

Some stupid tart made this poster. It's disgusting.

Noodle_xd · 2017-09-24T16:05:34+00:00

"Stop yourself"

Elkubik · 2017-09-24T18:41:08+00:00

My school has the same posters

miroku000 · 2017-09-24T17:44:16+00:00

I thought these were covers for romance novels at first...

DinoInNameOnly · 2017-09-24T18:18:56+00:00

I don't understand why they keep doing this. Do they really think people who are actively abusive are going to see a poster that says "don't be abusive" and actually stop? Either they genuinely don't think they're doing anything wrong or they know and don't care. It's so dumb.

Valac_ · 2017-09-24T18:14:20+00:00

I started reading the posters and was like oh boy look equality there's one for guys too.

But no of course I'm wrong it's about guys not for them.

factsenrageyou · 2017-09-25T01:45:51+00:00

Heads? Women are victims.

Tails? Men are abusers.

Why would any man want to interact with any woman in an atmosphere like this unless forced to?

Findude30 · 2017-09-25T07:10:42+00:00

I have these up in my school and they make me really angry wherever I see them

_shikaka · 2017-09-24T20:26:42+00:00

People want to complain all day about victim blaming this and how certain attitudes affect victims negatively. What this campaign is doing is nothing short of distorting the reality of what DV looks like. The victim poster could easily be changed for a man or child/teen of either gender. The abuser poster could EASILY be a woman. How about a campaign that breaks this narrative to show how broad this issue really is. All this does is paint women as completely innocent, demonises men and asserts that boys are only a victim until they turn 18 and even then they are inherently the aggressors. I wonder what services some of these campaigns and organisations would offer to a father fleeing abuse with his children? Because as far as I'm aware shelters that allow men don't exist, or at least are few and far between.

2017-09-24T22:26:13+00:00

The problem is that women are less inclined themselves to do anything about being mistreated, if they are.

rocket_raccon · 2017-09-25T01:06:20+00:00

Women never lose control and are ALWAYS right no matter how they treat you. Didn’t you know that??

SilverGryphon · 2017-09-25T07:49:01+00:00

As if men never get abused by women.

mgtownigga · 2017-09-25T08:50:55+00:00

the amount of abuse women heap onto men is legenday, but lets just pretend only men are capable of it. It's fucking ridiculous. I have ye to meet a man who hasn't suffered some form of abuse from his spouse/gf/lover, even if he doesn't realize it. Utter bollocks

2017-09-25T16:31:55+00:00

Every day the world tells me more and more to just avoid women all together.

Necromanticer · 2017-09-24T20:17:23+00:00

Jeez...

When I read the posters the first time I didn't see anything wrong. It looked like the male poster was talking about if your partner called you a dream boyfriend most of the time, but acted like you were controlling if you checked up on them while they were out for the night. Like, if your partner is constantly flip flopping between praising and negging you, you should recognize that as abuse.

Then I saw "Stop yourself" and I got very sad...

chambertlo · 2017-09-24T23:55:22+00:00

This is the cancer that is feminism in a nutshell; rules for thee but not for me. Hypocritical cunts.

HiredMind · 2017-09-24T20:36:38+00:00

Given the facts that 40% of physical abusers are women and that women are much more likely to exert influence on others through social (e.g. verbal) means rather than physical, it's likely that the majority of emotional abusers are women.

It is disgraceful that these posters are so one-sided. And on the wrong side.

Classed · 2017-09-24T17:41:30+00:00

If she doesn't have to stand for it, does she have to kneel for it?

50PercentLies · 2017-09-24T19:11:14+00:00

My problem with this is that there are women in relationships like this, but there are men in them also, and neither category of abusers are going to see this poster as referring to them. Emotional abusers never think they are in the wrong. "It's those other horrible boyfriends/girlfriends who abuse their partners"

xAsilos · 2017-09-24T19:54:55+00:00

My buddies buddy would occasionally hang out with us years and years ago. He found a girlfriend, and then we stopped hearing from him.

As it turns out she forced him to stop seeing his friends so he could spend all his time with her. They eventually got married, and had my buddy as a groomsmen.

About 3 years of silence after the wedding he sends a message on FB to my buddy saying how sorry he was for being silent.

My buddy didn't reply because he told me "Real friends wouldn't ignore your existence for years because your wife told you to"

KveOla · 2017-09-24T21:48:09+00:00

I read this as "Are you a princess" so I thought the poster was telling women not to be stupid tarts... After reading it more, I realized it was sexist...

Kosmosnoetos · 2017-09-24T22:57:16+00:00

What is a “Stupid Tart”?

Lord_Wrath · 2017-09-24T22:59:17+00:00

And a Black man to boot. Wtf

PortonDownSyndrome · 2017-09-25T02:11:23+00:00

"This is abuse."

They got that right.

BITCRUSHERRRR · 2017-09-25T03:45:29+00:00

Let's ignore that in the USA men make up the majority of DV victims, female victims often reciprocate violence, and lesbian relationships have the highest numbers of DV.

Kektus · 2017-09-25T05:00:41+00:00

"Stupid Tart?" What the hell is that?

SynthPOPisNice · 2017-09-25T06:57:38+00:00

Tear it down dude.

Valjeann · 2017-09-25T09:17:28+00:00

Tart? What is this the middle ages? They couldn't come up with a better word?

McDudeston · 2017-09-25T10:08:20+00:00

Also, fuck the image on the left. When a person is acting stupidly, they need to be told they are being stupid.

Notice that sentence is irrelevant of gender.
It's not abuse to want someone to be and do better.

The image just screams "Reeeeeeeeee why can't you just love me for my faults because I don't feel like fixing them!"

2017-09-25T11:13:37+00:00

If they had the same sub caption it would be okay.

smitch42a · 2017-09-26T00:19:41+00:00

Holy shit! For a second there I thought I was in Tumblr.

NBegovich · 2017-09-24T20:22:37+00:00

I love how this sub is ostensibly about protecting our rights as men but really all you guys do is bitch about women. lol this place is pathetic

MR_Flarg · 2017-09-24T21:43:53+00:00

used to see this when i was living in a youth hostel

what made me start looking at men rights things lol

fuck this country so much

HeForeverBleeds · 2017-09-24T18:13:08+00:00

Sometimes women are victims, sometimes men. Sometimes weak people, sometimes poor. Sometimes ...

2017-09-24T19:31:24+00:00

Fuck home office.

GambitDota · 2017-09-24T20:02:04+00:00

disgusting

DoSexTheConspiracy · 2017-09-24T21:47:05+00:00

wow. this is fucked!

GhostT1t4n · 2017-09-24T23:59:14+00:00

Yeah, I'm pretty sure this works BOTH ways

disposablefleshy · 2017-09-25T02:19:26+00:00

The interesting bit is that Piers Anthony did a really good job of addressing the first poster in his early Xanth books, particularly the first one, A Spell for Chameleon. But instead of "This is abuse. You don't have to stand for it," he might have included, "People are like that. You should probably engage in some introspection to make sure that you do your best, even in your stupidest moments."

DarkIntrovertedBlob · 2017-09-25T11:46:22+00:00

sigh. We still have a really long way to go before equality is actually something people actually care about. Instead of like, a buzzword.

seeking101 · 2017-09-25T12:13:23+00:00

what a great opportunity to shed light on a real issue, even better way of dropping the ball

SpacePikachu · 2017-09-25T17:12:08+00:00

THANKS EVERYONE! This is my most upvoted post, really didn't expect this much support :D

-redditardation- · 2017-09-27T13:40:24+00:00

EKWALUHTEE

CRISPR · 2017-09-24T20:41:23+00:00

You can't invent this shit. I would have posted this to not the onion, but I am banned over there.

WhippersnapperUT99 · 2017-09-24T21:44:06+00:00

But wait, aren't men often subject to false accusation of rape, and on college campus, rigged kangaroo court proceedings without any hint of due process? Don't even get me started on how most women passively turn a blind eye to male genital mutilation and the male only draft.

So, uh...when do we get "Choice for Men", aka "male abortion"?

decepticonwaffles · 2017-09-25T15:09:33+00:00

Lol @ interracial relationships lel

nliausacmmv · 2017-09-24T23:28:01+00:00

Y'all really fixating on a withdrawn campaign from 2010?

2017-09-24T20:00:49+00:00

Stop yourself, give me a break...

AntiAbleism · 2017-09-24T22:36:18+00:00

The women have all the power in relationships.

2017-09-25T04:35:39+00:00

Question, you'd still be mad if those things were swapped wouldn't you?

OMG women have the power stop being tarts men!

ComradeAri · 2017-09-24T20:40:15+00:00

It's not like women aren't victims though and it's not like there are men out there who could use an eye-opener about themselves.

If I were you, I'd make a complaint for whatever building it is to put up another poster for a reversed scenario instead of rallying to take this one down, as it seems like is the attitude in this thread.

RedSheppard · 2017-09-25T10:25:15+00:00

I dont know, I dont see anything that necessarily calls the man the bad guy in both contexts. To me it implies that boyfriend A. called her a tart, and girlfriend B. called him a control freak Just S.O being dicks in both situations, not really 'dude' bashing to me

-XanderCrews- · 2017-09-24T16:52:37+00:00

You know....men used to protect women and children. Now they go online and blame them for being too pathetic to get laid. Anyone joining this sub needs to man up!

Title	Women are the victims. Stop yourselves men!!!
Author	SpacePikachu
Upvotes	7139
Comments	458
Date	September 24, 2017 2:48 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/725f29/women_are_the_victims_stop_yourselves_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/women-are-the-victims-stop-yourselves-men.913913 https://theredarchive.com/post/913913

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EKWALUHTEE