Because most men haven't figured it out yet, the reason most 'advice' seems a bit cuckoo...

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-09-08T20:48:21+00:00

Removed for bad faith

cobrax30 · 2021-09-08T16:31:46+00:00

They ran an experiment where a man sat in a park and wept. Very few people stopped to comfort him, and most women went out of their way to avoid him. When the experiment was run with a woman weeping in the same park she was overwhelmed by people trying to make her feel better. This is life as a man, it will not change, so you must learn to overcome it. In doing so you will become stronger. Those who yearn for the low effort life that most women lead are mentally broken.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-09-08T17:14:51+00:00

Yes, barring some unexpected change in female attraction patterns, men have a different burden and standard for emotional strength. It's not all roses on the female side, so don't be bitter.

Men who want to be attractive break from their mother at puberty AND NEVER GET TO BE MOTHERED AGAIN. In fact, you should learn not only to suppress the desire to be mothered, but to be repulsed at it. This is what being a man is about. It's what being a man has always been about. It is the very core of masculinity, and it is a good thing.

This doesn't mean that men cannot show weakness or vulnerability. This does not mean that men don't have emotions and emotional needs. It does mean that men need to be vulnerable and get support in uniquely masculine ways. When men get these needs met in non-masculine ways, the cure does more damage than the disease. It makes you weaker, hate yourself more, and then desire more of the emasculating types of support. Vicious circle.

The real problem is that men do not support one another in the ways that men should and need to be supported. For whatever reason, as men get older and busier, and create families, they lose their male relationships at a much greater rate than women. Partially under the influence of misguided ideas about gender, men have forgotten the right way to be friends and support one another; and they haven't updated old wisdom in this area for modern realities.

Ultimately, this is on us. We men have to figure this out. And it begins with understanding that not only are we not going to get support and sympathy in the way women can get it without paying far too great a price; but also that we should stop WANTING it.

Naus1987 · 2021-09-08T18:36:48+00:00

You can be a sensitive guy. What people don’t want is a burden.

People are naturally selfish, so they don’t mind if you’re sensitive as long as they’re not responsible for fixing you. If you make a mistake, admit weakness, and then work on yourself (without outside intervention), that shit is amazing.

The key is to simply not impose or take from others. You can be a sensitive poet. Write epically emotional stories. You can cry and be vulnerable.

You just can’t be a needy burden.

And the same goes for both genders. Men really don’t like carrying women who are burdens.

Always be true to who you are. If you’re emotional — be emotional. Just don’t impose on the world. Don’t take more than you give. Sing songs, don’t cry for attention. Write poems, don’t rant on Facebook.

Be a producer, not a consumer

MajesticMaple · 2021-09-08T16:43:59+00:00

That's how advice works, they have done something you want to do (achieved a state of being greater than the speaker) and are explaining how they did it.

"I can't curl 70 lbs", man who can curl more than 70 lbs responds "lift smaller weights first" implication being they lifted smaller weights themselves.

Yeah the advice can be shit too but it's always going to take this form. You can sub in any situation here:

"I can't [do A]" ---> "Bro, you gotta work on x, y, and z." The implication is that this person has...achieved some state of being greater than the speaker.

This isn't a gendered thing, it just seems like you don't want advice but rather you want someone to pity you or something.

Blackagar59 · 2021-09-08T18:13:16+00:00

More like the implication is you can solve the problem eventually, and saying otherwise is surrendering.

Glum_Status94 · 2021-09-08T18:24:00+00:00

that sad more men will kill themselves if they can’t find help

Glum_Status94 · 2021-09-08T17:39:16+00:00

Have you noticed how despite it being a simple matter of maintaining a calorie deficit most people who say they want to lose weight just aren't able to?

There are many things that have simple and achieveable solutions that to some seem like an insurmountable wall.

I see some men who want to enjoy a special kind of company with women. To me it seems many of them are trying to skip the step where they get to know any women and enjoy their company in regular ways.

All of the advice you listed is good. I would not like to be with a woman who didn't enjoy her own company and who maybe was very irritable. I'll grant you that opening up and being frank about how your situation sucks probably isn't going to get you what you're looking for. Especially not a relationship or sex.

Put the shoe on the other foot. Would you be interested in a woman who complained about how she's fat, depressed and angry? The first thing that crosses my mind after that isn't now would be a good time for the start of a relationship or a fuck.

goneaway2thewind · 2021-09-08T16:32:00+00:00

I wouldn't ever recommend telling women about actual insecurities. But a good way to test and deflect is to downplay an actual talent.

Eg

If you're a funny guy, say "Oh I'm not actually that funny"

If you're an expert about something, say "I'm no expert but (insert opinion) "

The unattractive douchebags are the ones who are overconfident to a point of losing touch with reality. Even if you're insecure about something, if you're the one who jokes about it, it removes the power other people's opinion about it would have over you.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-09-08T17:23:56+00:00

Pointing out a flaw -----> someone gives you sound advice ------> man says with a victim mindset "well that only works for Chad " ------> person rightfully stops giving a shit 🤷‍♂️

purplepilldthrowaway · 2021-09-08T17:06:56+00:00

Dude, no shit. By definition advice involves telling you to do something you're not doing yet, i.e. pointing out a flaw. Would you prefer to whine and complain and just have people pity you instead, without giving any advice or pointing out anything you could do differently, so that you can wallow in your sadness and shitty situation forever without trying anything?

"I can't attract a woman." ---> "Bro, you gotta work on x, y, and z." The implication is that this person has...achieved some state of being greater than the speaker.

"Fucking dumb jerk females, so frustrated!" ---> "Bro, it's your attitude." The implication is that this person has...achieved some state of being greater than the speaker.

These two are the best pieces of advice btw. First one: make yourself higher value and do everything you can to improve your situation. Second one: stop being such a bitter victim, it's all over your post and brings you down not just in dating but in life. Be the hero of your own life, not the victim.

EstablishmentKooky50 · 2021-09-08T18:51:52+00:00

I think it really depends on who gives the said "advice" and in what context are you showing your weaknesses.

If you are venting on a random forum, random people will burp back up all the phrases they heard, but may never lived. As a man, you should expect criticism that is directed towards you personally, most of the times, that is true. Sympathy is given for women, sometimes to the extent that is harmful and causes delusional thinking, because they rarely get called out personally, and the "blame" is focused on their environment.

The other thing is that when you say something like, "I can't attract a woman", it sounds like - for most people - that you are looking for advice, whether you say it on one on one or on public forums. So the "advice" you get isn't really uncalled for.

If the "advice" is coming from someone you know and respect, it has a totally different meaning.

All in all, i think the stance, that you have to look for flaws within yourself first and see what you can do personally to get bettet results, is a far better stance then automatically blame the environment. The latter will rip you off of agency and disempower you.

Key-Progress-8873 · 2021-09-08T19:28:53+00:00

Men who can't handle being a man and having these troubles have long since killed themselves over it, and have probably not told anyone about it. I'll explain, and give examples.

Alcohol addiction, and alcohol abuse are a fairly common coping mechanism. Any kind of addiction taken to a ridiculous extreme - playing some stupid game 14 hours a day, jerking off to porn 6 times a day, eating nothing but Cheetos and pizza for weeks on end. Both men and women have addictions, but only men take it as far as the above examples. This is all delayed suicide. Have you seen a 200 kg. / 400 lbs. person eat? They don't eat to enjoy the food or to feed themselves, they legit shove it in their mouth with a look in their eyes like they're about to cry. They're killing themselves with the compulsive addiction.

Actual suicide - men are fucking lethal at it. A woman is more likely to down a big bottle of sleeping pills to off herself. A man will blow his head off with a fucking shotgun. Or to go into his car and drive into a lake. Or to hang himself... basically at a bus station 500 meters from the nearest hospital in the middle of the night in a spot that is so dark you can't see them even if you're on the other side of the street. This happened, by the way, where I live. People that knew him knew he was miserable but no one did anything to help. We seem intimidating, I am told. We're just not approachable, like women are.

So all the men who actually need the help will just go quietly. The ones asking for help on forums aren't that far gone and most likely can help themselves. Very few of the men who can be turned around by someone hearing their problems will seek the help, online or offline, they mostly suffer quietly. None of the ones I know who went that way (and I knew a few) were beyond help. On the outside they looked like fine young men who perhaps had a tired look in their eyes and a slightly unkempt beard. Maybe a bit of extra fat around their mid-section, because they'll drink a 6 pack of beer alone on Friday night, while watching a movie or playing video games.

And one day they're just... gone. I know that men are expected to be men and power through it, and shut up and take care of themselves. Supposedly coddling them is wrong. But I am still not sure I like this. Even though I know why we let it happen.

Shit sucks.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-09-08T19:35:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TodTheRod01 · 2021-09-08T17:35:57+00:00

Sounds about right

junk_mail_haver · 2021-09-08T19:10:03+00:00

Hey, I saw a someone cite there's 105 men worldwide for every 100 women, so it should make sense that many countries have excessive men, who would have otherwise died in war, famine etc who have not died because the modern society allows them.

So you see this is the modern appeasement, like this is the modern version of war, famine,

Love yourself
You don't need relationship to be happy
Work on your career
Your bad attitude

These mean nothing.

Added with climate catastrophe, and rising social egalitarianism, we are seeing women going after the good looking successful men. And that's how it should be, honestly.

There is no weakness in men, it's the weakness of society, that's why you have single parents, incels etc. Because society has let it happen, because society usually doesn't care about these people. Society only rewards the successful. It rejects and shuns the failures. This is in a way the fault of capitalism, which only rewards the winners.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-09-08T19:42:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

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Mister_Swan · 2021-09-08T20:00:08+00:00

No, im confused

YtBlue · 2021-09-08T20:20:31+00:00

Agreed with everything said here. Honestly, but watch women who've never been in a man shoes say vulnerability is "sexy".

Title	Because most men haven't figured it out yet, the reason most 'advice' seems a bit cuckoo...
Author	Ohyarlysmiles
Upvotes	46
Comments	228
Date	September 8, 2021 4:22 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pkdta7/because_most_men_havent_figured_it_out_yet_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/because-most-men-havent-figured-it-out-yet-the.1069757 https://theredarchive.com/post/1069757