The problem with confidence is its generally talked about in an altruistic, almost zen like manner. People might say "you just have to believe in yourself!"

The problem with that is, we don't live in a world of just ourselves. Even more so, dating is a lot about ourself and other people. Real confidence for men ( I cannot answer for women since I am not one), requires some degree of narcissism or seeing yourself as greater than other men. Thats because for most qualities, they are relative to other people or things. One example is being good at a sport. Women love athletic men. But to feel confident from sports, you need to feel as though you are better than others are that sport.

But now, this isn't being an asshole. Here's an example:

As a developer when I'm helping people at work or on stack overflow, I feel almost proud of myself and excited that I am much more skilled then the people I help. The nicer I am to people to answer their questions about C++ or linux, the more powerful I feel, because I would never need to ask these questions. The fact that I get paid a ton for having these abilities and knowledge only increases my confidence.

Men need to feel a rush of ability and power for women to feel their confidence. This kind of confidence needs to be where a man is a lot better at something than other men.