How much work does it take for the average man to get laid?

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-03-15T18:34:54+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2021-03-15T19:34:41+00:00

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rawnute · 2021-03-15T18:41:55+00:00

Assuming he doesn’t have elaborate game and (well) above average social skills, it will be very difficult for him. He’s gonna have to carry every conversation with little to no chance of a follow up for any online dating. It will probably be months of consistent texting and swiping before getting laid even once (assuming the stars align). There’s a pretty good chance he’ll be used for a couple free dinners along the way too.

As for in person, he’ll probably have to buy a lot of drinks ($100’s of dollars worth) before he gets a decent lead from a woman (i.e date, follow up meeting). The chances of a one night stand for him from meeting a girl at a bar are very slim (considering he is average looking).

The time investment alone should be a good enough reason to dissuade him from taking part in the dating market altogether. Over this journey, he’ll be called a creep, a weirdo, and possibly even a rapist, and he’ll begin to question his own morals and beliefs.

Regardless of what any other women on here are going to say, or whatever anecdotal stories they may have of giving similar men a chance, this is the plight of the average man. Your choices are to excel and become above average, or bribe women by spoiling them to even have a chance.

LaChoffe · 2021-03-15T17:56:50+00:00

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King_D0ng · 2021-03-15T18:28:25+00:00

Well it kinda depends on how he looks facially and his personality type, but to keep in the spirit of the OP, I'll just assume his face and personality type is common/average. This type of man would struggle to get casual sex in all situations but especially so online. But casual sex would still be possible if he stuck around the party/drugs scene.

For getting into a relationship, he would struggle online but not as much as if he was looking for casual sex. But the best way to get into a relationship would be looking for friends to introduce you to their single friends.

I'm summary, average dudes should avoid online for causal sex or relationships since that is just a pit of rejection for men who can't stand out in some way. Stick to irl situations with inebriated women for casual sex and friend group for relationships.

poppy_blu · 2021-03-15T23:56:38+00:00

I know plenty of people (friends, co workers, neighbors) whose sons fit this description (except maybe the receding hairline) and they don’t seem to have much of a problem. It’s very average but if you’re a very average man you’re going to date very average women. Deal with it.

Public_Economics_666 · 2021-03-15T19:52:59+00:00

Lol most of the guys I know that have GF/FWB met through friend groups, so neither. Their friend's girlfriend knows a single girl, both people are invited to hang out in a friend setting and if they get on, great for them.

One night stands, though, have a very low success rate, but that's in good part because my school is a sausage fest.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-03-15T20:45:33+00:00

Average body: not skinny, fat or jacked. 17% body fat

17% body fat is top 15% of men; 72% of men are fat or obese and another number are underweight.

Just sayin.

rft24 · 2021-03-15T17:58:37+00:00

i’d guess he probably doesn’t get a lot of hookups but he has at least a few women he knows that would be open to dating or being in a relationship with him, but there’s not really enough info to gauge the specifics.

it depends more on his personality, face, and interpersonal skills (assuming he’s well groomed and not fat).

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-03-15T17:59:09+00:00

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IcarusKiki · 2021-03-16T03:10:34+00:00

Difficult for casual sex but not to get a 5-6/10 gf

Atlas__B__Shruggin · 2021-03-15T18:16:27+00:00

on what planet does the average 25 yo man have a receding hairline

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-03-15T17:51:59+00:00

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goochiegg · 2021-03-15T18:45:23+00:00

I depends on how high his standards are for the girl. I’m sure he could relatively easily get a fat chick, but if he’s going for girls that are at least somewhat attractive, it’s going to be very hard.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-03-15T18:00:37+00:00

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BackwardsHouse78 · 2021-03-16T02:36:26+00:00

Who cares?

IceC19 · 2021-03-15T21:19:22+00:00

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Ok-Boat-5001 · 2021-03-15T22:30:15+00:00

Hit the gym. Get some muscles! Always declare your intentions of solely getting laid. Don’t trick ladies.

Noodlecase91 · 2021-03-16T04:54:52+00:00

Highly dependent on where you live, who you are as a person, your social groups key factors.

Know plenty “average” men with long term relationships it’s other individual characteristics Don’t have to be handsome to get laid.

Responsibility, Sociable, Authenticity, Autonomy, Independence, and strong emotional regulators (little dependency on the outside). Doesn’t take a whole lot to get laid.

And the great kicker is even if your struggling right now with the opposite member having an average wage, average looks, average athletically etc etc if you have your shit together is far better then a deadbeat that gets laid on the regular. Your already ahead of the pack

Beside individual health/friends & families wealth, financial independence is paramount. Sooner you get there to the best thing you can do imo.

PrincessFKNPeach · 2021-03-15T19:37:35+00:00

Who is he trying to fuck?

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-03-16T02:21:43+00:00

Why is this a question for women? We don’t really know how many women a guy is hitting up or how long it takes other women to give the sex in exchange for the time and effort tokens. I don’t do casual, so this guy wouldn’t get far with me. But I would accept a date with him if we hit it off.

It seems like a lot of guys don’t get that many/most women just really don’t get a whole lot out of casual sex, so if you aren’t something really special, yeah you’re going to need to offer something more. It’s not that we despise the average guy, we just don’t have anything to gain from letting him use our bodies to masturbate with. Like would you pay for an average woman’s bathwater? A minority of guys would because it’s a fetish or something, but most would say...why should I? But Belle Delphine’s bathwater? A lot more would/did. Same concept with women and casual sex. Some are into it, some aren’t, and some are swayed by SMV.

OpinionHavR · 2021-03-15T18:04:38+00:00

Who cares? If it happens it happens. If it doesn’t oh well. Use that money to go back a hooker or something

Sailor___Sage · 2021-03-15T18:26:31+00:00

I don't understand what you are trying to get at here.

Even if the so-called average guy's dating life sucks, what am I supposed to do about it? Give a pity date /pity fuck to some random guy because you think he feels like a dancing monkey? Because you think he might of been accused of being creepy? Because you know, accusations that could be red flags for my safety are just a huge turn on and really indicate long term potential.

"Getting laid" depends on several factors, and it's hard to average it out (unless you want to blame women for not sucking enough "non-Chad" dick). Looks are not the only factor. Are you funny? Do you have hobbies, cool travel stories, etc? Are you in the right place at the right time? Are you aiming in your league? Are you friendly? Do you talk to women in hopes of determining if they are a friend or a partner, because you want a good conversation, or is it all just a creepy facade so you can get your dick wet?

I think the average guy balances dating with other priorities, and isn't obsessed with flaccid dick to the point where it's making him crazy, and because of his positive mental outlook he will find a companion sooner or later. It could take a couple hundred swipes, but he isn't desperate and is happy enough with his life so he is willing to take his time finding the right person. If he has a dry spell for a couple of years, he might reevaluate where he is meeting women for genuine connections, sharpen his social skills, or ramp up his personal style. But his chances of finding a partner are much higher than that of a self-pitying dancing monkey.

If the "average" guy's dating life sucks, that is no one else's problem but his. Google, please meet the hand and relieve the frustration.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-03-15T19:44:05+00:00

If you can't handle being rejected, you aren't mature enough to be dating.

ItWasAlwaysOver · 2021-03-16T03:22:24+00:00

it's ridiculous how many hoops the average guy needs to go through because of women's high standards.

usedtimecapsule · 2021-03-16T14:24:13+00:00

It takes an extreme amount of work for the average man.

The women on here won’t admit that because they don’t have to go through all the steps you outlined.

Atlas__B__Shruggin · 2021-03-15T18:13:56+00:00

who cares

AelfredRex · 2021-03-15T19:02:22+00:00

Smiling is easy. Talking is easy. Laughing is easy.

It's so much easier when you don't try to make up complicated strategies that just emphasize all your insecurities.

Yharnam_Queen · 2021-03-15T19:35:41+00:00

Dude, there isn't some kind of magic, universal formula.

SmurfESmurferson · 2021-03-15T18:22:46+00:00

I’m in sales, and I would presume the general rule of thumb also apply to approaching/trying to sell yourself to women: approximately 1/3 of your cold calls become clients (or 1/3 of approaches are successful)

I literally spend a good chunk of my days cold approaching business owners. So yes, I am quite familiar with being rejected/ignored/talked about. I have to presume I’ve lost sales because someone didn’t like my look, or our personalities just didn’t click (in addition to more normal, professional reasons). Humans are humans after all

As far as the dancing monkey part, that’s also a big part of it - I sit and fill out paperwork for people, reorganize their color room, all sorts of things that shouldn’t fall on my shoulders as a vendor ... But I do it because I want that sale

Nothing in life is guaranteed, and you’re only going to win if you put yourself out there consistently

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Brilliant_Nothing · 2021-03-15T18:11:24+00:00

All that stuff from 1 to 3 has ultimately a negative ROI. From a purely economic POV there is only one way to get laid for sure.

2021-03-15T23:31:47+00:00

About a $100. with no rejection ,no hassle and no wasting time If he only wants to get laid. Such a complicated question with such an obvious answer.

turtles_need_hats · 2021-03-16T02:12:28+00:00

More than women, especially in a society where guys (and women) run around thinking women who have casual sex like guys do are used goods. The fuck does that have to do with rationalizing thinking women are of the emotional capacity of teenagers and that men who think otherwise are simps?

Fit_Toe_329 · 2021-03-15T20:51:16+00:00

Since when do 35yos have receding hairlines? That's not an 'average' bloke.

undefinedhu · 2021-03-16T03:31:17+00:00

literally just talk to people. no checklist required, just pure human interaction.

honeydewmelonz · 2021-03-16T06:41:43+00:00

I don’t know. Why is the a Q4W? It’s oddly specific. You’d probably get a better answer from rpillers.

sweatyapplejuice · 2021-03-16T07:42:04+00:00

0% chance because i, like many other women, don’t want to fuck some random dude. the moment you guys start to realize that the reason there’s a shortage of women who want casual sex is because women generally prefer connecting with a person before intimacy, the faster this TRP bullshit will end. i’ve gone on many dates where they guy was charming and attractive and blahablh and i just didn’t vibe with him so he got to leave the date blue-balled. and i’ve had even more instances of ghosting perfectly “fuckable” men because i couldn’t see myself dating them and they obviously just wanted sex so why would i waste my time? i wish i understood the majority of men’s high sex drives and obsessions with casual sex, i really do.

nemma88 · 2021-03-16T10:49:46+00:00

Less than it's ever taken before.

I have pretty much no sympathy for men who complain about not getting peak treatment the same as no sympathy for average women who want prince charming who is super handsome with an unlimited wallet - you want too much for too little. Learn to deal with being average like the rest of us.

Dear reddit, how hard do you think it is for the average woman to bag a tall, handsome millionaire who only has eyes for us and think the rest of womenkind is ugly? Why don't you feel sorry for us?

Average is OK, it may not be the best but we can be fulfilled without too much effort. Below average just want a chance at being fulfilled, I can sympathies with that more.

Fuzi0z · 2021-03-16T21:27:56+00:00

Game only works if she can see you inside her from the beginning. There are no magical solutions or speeches. Either she likes you from the beginning or you have resources to satisfy her needs or you dont. So get this in your mind. Game is being misinterpreted. This isnt lala land, in real life youre either blessed or you hardwork for it. Must men are fucked thesr days. We just get to satisfy our sex needs at a very old age (35+?). This is our world, accept, its 80 % or 20%

ThrowawayCOVID999 · 2021-03-20T20:06:16+00:00

Fuck you for calling Upper middle class “average”

Throughawayman80808 · 2021-03-22T17:21:52+00:00

Guys without criminal records are done for

NavSarwar · 2021-04-05T20:14:17+00:00

Maybe just engage in conversation with people without too much expectation of sex and see where it goes? if the conversation isnt happening naturally and you must carry it continuously that person likely isnt for you. if you are very persistent try meeting in person as its naturally easier to converse fluidly IRL rather than through Text. Going in with this expectation that all you want is sex or to get laid is what causes the toll on your wellbeing. Go in looking for a person you find attractive of course but dont constantly feel like your being sized up by every woman and their opinions mean anything. Toxic dating apps have planted this persistent insecurity in people as they always feel as though theyre constantly subject to judgement and placed within a rating of attractivity in comparison to everyone else. People are complex and their worth lies in far more than just appearance or ability to make small talk. Maybe take a break from this endless cycle of chasing meaningless sex and look inwards? self reflect, become more comfortable with your own self? then you wont feel so constantly insecure and ask such questions like "how much work does a regular guy have to do to fuck!?". truth is every person is different and such is the case for every single interaction so its impossible to truly get an idea of how such averages can apply to you. If youre looking to prove this idea that men have to put in significantly more work into finding a mate than women then maybe ask yourself why such is the case? If i were to take a guess its partially biology but also significantly a result of social construct. This mentality is actually exactly what contributes to this inequality of effort in finding a mate. Constantly chasing women with your "horny brain" is what leads to such behaviour on behalf of the women as they know they dont have to put much work in as guys will just come and chase them without them having to search much at all. TLDR ~ You need some real self reflection buddy. Maybe change your approach to the whole situation and start looking for something simpler rather than setting up an expectation of sex and a fear of judgement or lack of self worth as such things are only a net negative for your psyche.

Title	How much work does it take for the average man to get laid?
Author	PickleLine
Upvotes	31
Comments	347
Date	March 15, 2021 5:45 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/m5qcgx/how_much_work_does_it_take_for_the_average_man_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-much-work-does-it-take-for-the-average-man-to.751199 https://theredarchive.com/post/751199

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