In your observations, what are the main differences between the wo/men as described by users here, and the wo/men you know irl?

343_peaches_and_tea · 2021-10-30T06:55:00+00:00

When someone describes an experience they've had with a man or woman. 9 times out of 10 I've met someone who either matches that description or comes close. The question is typically over how widespread the experience is.

My experiences include:

I've known a guy who's rejected a girl because she slept around a lot
I've known a girl who was trying to date seriously but couldn't help "sleeping with bad boys". She was even moaning to me about how hard it was to reject them.
I've known many men and women who havent slept around and have focused on LTRs
I've known of men and women who've cheated.
I've known a guy who turned out to be a pedo
I've known a guy who turned out to be a murderer
I know women who are emotionally abusive to their husbands and nobody bats an eyelid
I know relationships where the guy is overly controlling and abusive
I know women who are on apps acting fairly horribly, mocking men and exclusively dating tall guys
I have just heard of a millionaire woman dating a dude who was previously living in council housing
I know hyper religious types who waited for marriage to have sex
I know conservatives and liberals who act very differently
I know women who've paid 50/50 on the first date with no issue and those who've refused to do so.
I know women who are more vanilla in the bedroom and just want loving sex
I know women who definitely want rough/BDSM sex in the bedroom as the submissive
I know men who only want vanilla sex and those who are also more kinky
I know low libido men and women and dead bedrooms in both directions
I've met women and men who've cared only about looks and those who really do seem to care much, much less.
I've met men and women who will have casual sex and sex with a stranger. Also those who would never consider anything of the sort.

I think a common issue on this sub is people only using their personal experiences and extrapolating that to all men and women.

Bubbles are real.

RahLyt · 2021-10-30T16:25:34+00:00

Here women are perfect on real life they are not.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-30T06:36:04+00:00

Every woman here claims she is constantly approached and asked for her number in real life, but the majority of women I've met IRL say they rarely if ever get approached.

Men on PPD who say they have tried everything and still can't get a date, the guys I meet in real life who have trouble with women rarely put themselves out there, never approach or try to have conversations with strange women due to shyness and low self esteem. So not sure exactly how they have tried everything.

NockerJoe · 2021-10-30T03:56:20+00:00

I think the issue is everything here is blown up by hyperbole with no nuance. Have I met turbo sluts who got burned by a Chad and want a beta? No. Have I met women who got burned by an ex who was obviously never invested in a relationship that she kept up with for way too long? Obviously. Just like I've met plenty of "nice guys" who signal they're warm and approachable to hot alty chicks clearly not looking for that right now(Hell, I've been that guy).

Its like watching cartoons. Obviously nobody can act as zany as Bugs Bunny or Mickey Mouse, but the people drawing the character are still basing the antics on real things and real motions done by actual humans. Its just that watching cartoons and nothing else is a terrible way to learn hoe people work.

Ireallymissdelores · 2021-10-30T01:27:39+00:00

The main difference is the people I know are just living life and here people are just contemplating it.

EstablishmentKooky50 · 2021-10-30T08:04:35+00:00

I'd say the online sphere is an accurate showcase of how people actually feel under the masks that we all wear irl. None of us would talk, like some people talk here with each other face to face, that's for sure. The issues are probably exaggerated, but the issues are there regardless. Men don't "complain" publicly irl, they talk with close friends. And yes, i see a lot of men acting like the world is full of pink ponies while suffering in silence. I am sure it happens with women too. If yo were to ask them if everything is all right, they'd say yes, without hesitation. It's part of the culture, it's part of denial and it's because they have no control.

On reddit, hiding behind avatars, everyone can be who they would be if no penalties were given for honesty.

SaBahRub · 2021-10-30T03:45:16+00:00

They marry and have relationships?

Apprehensive_Boat_70 · 2021-10-30T02:07:49+00:00

I ve been absent for a while on this sub, but after exploring more places outside of my usual surroundings, a realized that theres plenty of likeable women withouth player or bad boy phases, and even though they arent virgins i would happily date someone like them but they re all in commited relationships and that fills me with joy that they are with someone they re happy with, i still meet some of those "my past is my business" from time to time though.

Goodlake · 2021-10-30T12:15:04+00:00

Here: obsessed with “n-counts”

Real world: not obsessed with “n-counts”

Could be an age thing, though. By your 30s, everybody has a sexual history, some more, some less.

Aclopolipse · 2021-10-30T14:18:17+00:00

The biggest thing I've seen is that reading PPD, you'd get the idea that everyone was attracted to basically the same thing.

I'm friends with a lot of people of varying genders and sexualities, and it's a recurring joke that we greatly disagree on what strangers/celebrities are hot or not. People's attractions and "types" vary a lot, and there's just a few things everyone wants to some degree (symmetrical and proportional features, generally clear skin) but everything else is open season.

Kentucky_Supreme · 2021-10-30T05:22:53+00:00

I've noticed women seem to think that if a guy isn't getting dates then he must be some disfigured socially crippled outcast that never showers and has a hunchback, small dick, and lives in his mom's basement When in reality a guy doesn't have to be an extreme outlier case like that to be invisible to women.

That seems to be the most popular non sequitur I see in here by far.

SouthernGrass3 · 2021-10-30T02:25:26+00:00

-Men irl, generally seem to like women as people more than so than do the men here

-Men irl seem to care more about the non-sexual elements of compatibility than do men here

-Men irl are not very focused on n-counts

-I don’t usually see men in relationships putting women on a pedestal in way it’s described here, unless the women is obviously out of his league or he’s in that early infatuation stage that often involves a lot of projecting ideals onto the other party.

throwawayman2690 · 2021-10-30T02:52:17+00:00

Men and women here are the same you see in real life what do you mean, do you think everyone here are bots? The difference is that men especially, but also women either hide or gaslight themselves and their issues into whatever beliefs they want to or are supposed to so they don't lose their minds and their friends and girlfriends/boyfriends. No one wants to be around someone who talks about their own personal problems constantly so people try not to, on reddit the truth comes out as there is no repercussions.

shockedpikachu123 · 2021-10-30T03:44:48+00:00

I don’t really notice RP men IRL. No one is freaking out about body count, tattoos, submissiveness IRL like they do here . RP men here are always preaching about how women should stay at home cook, clean and fulfill household duties. Men in RL don’t want a woman who is a stay at home mom with no income of her own. 30+ Men where I live actually don’t date teen/young 20s girls as they want a women who already has her shit together.

Women aren’t really dating men solely for money IRL. Most people I know split their income and that’s normal. Men do pay on the FIRST date and don’t make a huge deal about it like they do here.

Ruben_the_Fish · 2021-10-30T02:05:04+00:00

I don't know a single woman who practiced AFBB.

Demasii · 2021-10-30T02:12:52+00:00

I don't know any man that is hesitant of marriage because what they can lose in divorce.

Most men who were dodging marriage just didn't want to settle and were stringing along the woman they were dating.

thetruthishere_ · 2021-10-30T03:49:57+00:00

I see and experience the opposite of what is said here a lot.

That said, I dont think some things are not happening, I just dont think its the norm.

I think most men and women just still want a loving relationship/sexul attraction.

Prestigious-Mud-1304 · 2021-10-30T01:48:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

UrFoodMolestedMyNose · 2021-10-30T01:37:41+00:00

Men irl don’t care nearly as much about n counts as men here.

Men irl don’t seem to hate women or display misogynistic behaviour nearly as much.

Men under like 5’8 don’t complain nearly as much about their dating prospects (or seem to struggle even half as much as the men here make it out to be)

Inlo94 · 2021-10-30T07:52:23+00:00

The stuff described here (AFBB, Chad, being passed ovet for Stacy) happen at a much smaller frequency and smaller intensity.

The wall isn't a thing unless you get fat.

Older men who attract young women (without help of money) attracted women in their youth. Except some exceptions the men who did terrible with women in their youth are doing even worse in their 30's.

Men actually care about women's accomplishments and degrees, especially when they are accomplished themselves.

Men actually take care if their looks

Orange_Paisley · 2021-10-30T02:23:39+00:00

I don’t any men who are obsessed with N counts or their lack of experience, or who expect to lead while their spouse follows, or who refer to women as children or “the oldest teenager in the house.”

I don’t know any women who are marrying for the purpose of divorce raping their beta husbands or who are amassing zillions of followers on their OnlyFans or Instagram accounts.

rick-dicking-morty · 2021-10-30T04:49:17+00:00

Males under 5’11 don’t struggle at all when it comes to dating

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-10-30T01:53:29+00:00

Men: most men I know wouldn't fit any definition of a "Chad" I've seen in this sub, and they've never had a problem finding a date. The only men I know who aren't married now don't seem to want to be.

Women: the women I know are wholly unimpressed by status or money.

Gallagher_Shakes · 2021-10-30T04:45:23+00:00

Most men I know fall into 3 categories simps / shiftless lumps / angry. The lumps usually have a partner, the simps are ever orbiting and the angry… well they are angry. Most women I know are sending dirty snaps behind their husband’s back, chasing tingles or validation via SM, trying to fix their guy while also keeping orbiters, or they are leeching.

superlurkage · 2021-10-30T01:40:52+00:00

They are Reddit users

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-10-30T02:37:42+00:00

Don't know. I see a little bit of everything from this sub in real life. There's no singular theme in the real world. The only part lacking is people's perspectives (i.e., "I don't see that so it doesn't happen").

Longshot_56 · 2021-10-30T02:09:08+00:00

Women on this sub usually have at least 3 of the folllowing:

Typically older (35+)
Already in a relationship
Anxious, depressed, or on the autism-spectrum
Claim to have had significant trauma inflicted upon them by men at some point in their life.
Overweight (by their own admission)
Extremely politically left

The women I see and deal with IRL are just happier, more polite, and (seem to be) more fun to be around.

BasteBread · 2021-10-30T06:37:17+00:00

I'm not going to try and describe wo/men of this sub because you're all fucking weirdos. But what I do know is that women and men are different when it comes to interpersonal reciprocity and sexuality and we're all VERY certain of our own morals to the point of being self-righteous when it comes to this.

lueyguy · 2021-10-30T10:48:31+00:00

Ok I’m a man and I will say what I’ve observed of both sides

Women

A large portion cheat on their boyfriends without a second thought.
they care a lot about money but more so that you just have your stuff in order (own place, car etc).
they actually and genuinely fall for guys using the beta bucks and nice guy strategies. I kid you not. The thing is you have to use them without any sense of entitlement or expectation. You’re basically partially open to potentially being used by the woman in question.
women admitting that friendzone is a consolation prize and just an excuse to reject guys or keep them around without giving up anything.
the women in real life acknowledge beta bucks and alpha fucks to some degree
the women in real life are a lot more…malevolent and manipulative than the women here. They will say one thing but clearly do the opposite. Even if it’s saying they want a loyal man whilst cheating on their boyfriend with a guy they met an hour prior.
the women in real life are very self aware. I know club goers, promiscuous and gold diggers who share memes about being that way. They even shrug their shoulders when I ask them why they do certain things (like leaving their faithful, hardworking and supportive boyfriend who actually helped them in their worst times simply because they met a guy who earns even more money).

Men:

they’re willing to pay for dates. It doesn’t have to be dinner but they will play that traditional masculine role of providing
both the alpha and beta type men cheat when given an opportunity.
men do actually take personality into consideration for a relationship. They may not be picky in who they want to sleep with but they will vet for a relationship. Thing is the standard is very low for women’s personality. Just show some interest in a hobby or some level of ambition (even if you have nothing to show for it) and the guys will be impressed.

yungthrowaway97 · 2021-10-30T01:39:13+00:00

Young adults did seem to fit a lot of these generalizations in real life. Understandably because their world view is still so narrow. Older ones not so much.

NarniaFox · 2021-10-30T05:03:46+00:00

There are enough decent and even good men and women out there.

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webernicke · 2021-10-30T03:54:12+00:00

The degree of self-awareness.

DeJuanBallard · 2021-10-30T04:31:52+00:00

Lol this one made me laugh.

AreOut · 2021-10-30T06:19:50+00:00

PPD users usually have higher levels of introspection and there are some who are just curious about what other people think about dating lately.

PMmeareasontolive · 2021-10-30T16:44:11+00:00

I find the standards for beauty in this sub to be extremely high, for both men and women. But I'm an average-at-best dude and so are all the people I know, so maybe it figures that we are attracted to our fellow plebs.

I also find this sub's emphasis on men wanting to have casual sex to be warped. It could be but I don't see that around me (don't go to clubs though). That, and the idea that men experience all sex as good sex seem to be Extremely Lazy Sexism 101 rather that some sophisticated analysis from out of the labs of Evolutionary Psychology.

DontwantaFairOne · 2021-10-30T18:09:41+00:00

Almost everyone I know met their significant other in < 25 dates/hookups/whatever, usually under 10

Ppl who value relationships accept who they can get

Cheshiregrin85 · 2021-10-30T21:42:56+00:00

I've never met a woman who was happy being treated like shit but I've met a few with rock bottom low self esteem who used sex as a form of self harm or for attention because they felt like they couldn't "not be in a relationship" so they were willing to do anything in order to be in one and keep it.

Significant-Level381 · 2021-10-31T22:54:12+00:00

Well, I think there are some good people irl and here. I also think that there are people who get the "What the fuck" reaction out of me, both here and irl

wtknight · 2021-10-30T03:06:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Zerofication · 2021-11-19T16:49:35+00:00

It's the same, it seems that it's not because that's the nature of being on a forum that's concentrated with some topics and some people in particular. You get the impression that all women are bad in here even though it's not true. I would argue that there are good reasons why men in here believe that, when all of your experiences point to that direction and you get other men sharing the same conclusion, it makes sense to believe that it represents reality. Good women are quickly taken early on and they almost never leave, that's why it feels as if they don't exist.

heyitsjeape · 2021-10-30T01:47:27+00:00

I don’t know any outside of my family in real life. I superficially know a few I work with. I’d guess a lot of people wouldn’t come to a place like this because they have nothing to complain about. I’d bet some wouldn’t mind but never sought it out. I’d bet others are no different than those here in real life. Overall, I’d think the females here represent a pretty small percentage of females at large and the females here are not a monolith by any stretch.

meme_lords_unite · 2021-10-30T06:48:33+00:00

Nothing really.

Prestigious-Mud-1304 · 2021-10-30T08:38:51+00:00

Differences I've found between PPD men and IRL is that PPD men are much less sexist and macho mostly, and for women I've found that PPD women are much more raw and honest than IRL women who are extremely blue pilled.

FDSuccubus · 2021-10-30T15:22:57+00:00

There are no differences between here and real life: I find women tend to lie about how shallow they actually are, and add all kinds of disclaimers and misdirects to protect their many deceptions, in both arenas.

Title	In your observations, what are the main differences between the wo/men as described by users here, and the wo/men you know irl?
Author	brilliant22
Upvotes	37
Comments	248
Date	October 30, 2021 1:22 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qiqzy6/in_your_observations_what_are_the_main/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/in-your-observations-what-are-the-main-differences.1081035 https://theredarchive.com/post/1081035

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