Note: Numbers within brackets indicate corresponding sources, all of which are linked in the "Sources" section.

I see comments from men like “it’s dating apps fault!” And “women are just too picky nowadays”. “Women have too many options”.

As a man, dating apps absolutely do contribute towards hookup culture.

HOWEVER, the reason women have become a lot more selective with the men they choose is because societal norms have completely changed since our grandparents generation.

Speaking to my aunt recently, in the 1970’s and 80’s all you needed as a man was a decent job to attract a wife. That’s it. As long as you had gainful employment and could play the provider role, that was basically the only requirement needed for a woman to settle down.

Today, women have their own careers. Women graduate university at higher rates than men do. Women own property. Women pay their own rent. Women pay their own bills.

“Having an ok job to pay for your wife or girlfriend” is no longer impressive, it is now considered the bare minimum.

And with the rise of discussion around mental health, some women may seek men who are emotional providers, but the truth is more complicated. Are you emotionally mature?

Will you actually listen when women speak? Are you an engaging conversationalist? Are you funny? Do you have a hobby or passion outside of work? Have you processed your trauma in order to avoid dumping it on women? Are you self-aware? Do you love children and will be a good father to a woman's kids? Will you treat women as equals? Are you loyal?

Turns out it might not matter that much.

Moving forward, this will be strictly a sciencepill discussion. Stats are neither blue, red, nor black. They offer no intrinsic advice in and of themselves.

A 2009 study has indicated that a man's personality has no role in initial romantic attraction, which is necessary for mutual escalation. Instead, the primary predictor of initial romantic attraction is physical attractiveness [1].

But what is male physical attractiveness?

First, let's start with what most people will immediately perceive upon seeing your person: the face.

A man's facial attractiveness has been shown to be the strongest predictor of any following romantic interest, whether short-term or long-term. In fact, women tend to favor certain male faces for short-term relationships and certain other male-faces for long-term relationships. As a sample's face becomes more masculine, women want to have sex with the sample more [2].

Fig. 1

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[2]

Male facial attractiveness also matters more than male bodily attractiveness in overall male attractiveness [3].

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There is another very charged topic that is not allowed to be discussed here as per the rules. I have removed this section entirely, but I have other versions of this post which contain the said section in full.

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And finally, let's analyze height.

90% of women will reject a man under 5'5 based solely on his height. 50% of women will reject a man under 5'9 based solely on his height. 1% of women will reject a 6'2 man based solely on his height [8].

Fig. 2

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[4]

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"Taller men had more reproductive opportunities (more marriages, younger second wives) and used them to have more children than shorter men. The chances of survival into adulthood of taller men’s children were not lower" [5].

"The positive effect of height on reproductive performance was not mediated by men’s social status, i.e., their military rank, or by the measures of academic, athletic, and military talent which helped in gaining high status" [5].

Let's bring it all back together. A startling conclusion that one can draw is that one's face, another characteristic, and height can be worth, in the aggregate, millions of dollars to women [6].

A 5' 8" average-faced man with a certain characteristic would need to earn $3,696,000 of additional income over the course of a 7 year marriage to be considered equally desirable as a 5' 11.5" attractive-faced man with another certain characteristic to an average woman [6].

With the rise of the independence of women, women no longer NEED men to exist financially. It used to be that a divorced woman was shunned by society, and had the potential to be beaten, threatened, or in poverty if she left. That is simply not the case in 2023.

Women are not bound to men for survival. If you have no desirable genes to offer a woman's children that women don’t already offer themselves, that’s likely the reason you’re single!

Ask yourselves “what genes do I bring to the table?”

Sources

  1. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19558447/
  2. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1364661305003207
  3. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513809000580
  4. https://www.gertstulp.com/pdf/Stulp%20et%20al%202013_Anim%20Behav_The%20height%20of%20choosiness.pdf
  5. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s002650100370
  6. http://home.uchicago.edu/~hortacsu/onlinedating.pdf