What’s more psychologically damaging; a guy being put into the friend zone or a woman being put into the fuck zone?

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-08-27T03:01:21+00:00

I think its easier to make a situationship flakey guy who is iffy about commitment to commit to you but rarely see guys get out of the friend zone.

Hard to say though

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2023-08-27T09:35:11+00:00

There’s more risk involved with a woman being in the fuck zone. That’s exactly how men end up with baby moms they never even liked to begin with.

Irys-likethe-Eye · 2023-08-27T19:24:29+00:00

Imagine comparing some one actually liking you as a person and enjoying your company with someone who has decided the only reason they would interact with you at all is because they want to fuck you and the moment that they realize it won't happen they vanish after possibly insulting you because you won't fuck let them fuck your body.

One is friendly and one is selfish. Any dude that has repeatedly used the term friendzoned multiple times in a derogatory way against women to lament his "situation" may deserve neither friends nor fucks as he has fuckzoned every chick he's talked to. Further he's probably homophobic as hell because he could never conceptualize being spoken to by someone who could possibly only be talking to him because of sex, since that's what he does.

If you think it's more psychologically damaging to be liked and appreciated for the person you are than to be reduced to an action that can be done to your body parts, all I can say is you need to do some real self reflection.

not-a-dude-at-all · 2023-08-27T04:04:16+00:00

You can't be put in any of those "zones", you can be there only by your own will. Nothing prevents you to look for somebody else.

John_Oakman · 2023-08-27T03:37:35+00:00

Depending on how precisely the term friendzone is defined*, the male in question isn't even getting friendship** (even the fake type, never mind any genuine type) out of it, as he has been reduced to the role akin to that of a pack animal (of the jackass variety): mildly/situational useful, but generally irrelevant if not an annoyance.

*there are so many variations/definitions, and said difference changes the dymanics significantly at times.

**the argument making the two types of zones comparable generally assume that in both cases the 'wronged' party is getting something, even if mostly worthless.

AreOut · 2023-08-27T13:19:50+00:00

woman being put into the friend zone (= not even willing to fuck her)

they will absolutely hate you for it, mainly because most women think they can have sex from any guy, especially if he is single

DisasterPeace7 · 2023-08-27T03:37:19+00:00

Both can suck I'm sure but I'm going with a guy in the friend zone, but if you naturally develop a friendship with a woman, and there's attraction there and that attention is not reciprocated ( A you should go your separate ways, seriously) it's going to screw with you because now you're talking about a situation where it's not just attraction you might actually be in love with this person, they don't feel the same way, they're going to be dating other people right in front of you and for whatever reason you're still sticking around. Feminist always gaslight Man by saying this so I'm just going to return the same energy, ladies the " fuckzone" is not real, you're not "entitled" ( one of y'all's favorite words) to men's friendship and camaraderie

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2023-08-27T05:13:36+00:00

Being used as a sex object is more dehumanizing than being used as a friend object lol.

PrinceArchie · 2023-08-27T03:40:37+00:00

Honestly when I really think about it they are very very similar and almost equivalent. But I would give the edge to the friendzone because often times a woman is intentionally getting way more preferential treatment in this sort of scenario for practically nothing in return. Whereas in the context of a sexual relationship both parties at least openly acknowledge they find each other sexually attractive and are thus having thier sexual needs met mutually. A man who is in the "friendzone" is neither getting a true friend nor a potential romantic partner, he is being used in almost every possible way.

ReplacementPasta · 2023-08-27T08:11:15+00:00

No guy likes being put into the friend zone because it essentially means a woman likes your personally(or utility) but finds you sexually unattractive.

That's a weird way to say a "friend"

Friendzone just means you like someone who only sees you as a friend

wtknight · 2023-08-27T04:47:08+00:00

I think that it depends on the level of the guy's sexual experience. If it's some guy who has had sex with other women and some more attractive woman puts him in the friendzone, then I don't think that it's a very big deal. A lot of friendzoned men are sexually inexperienced, though, and I think that anything that continues to keep a man inexperienced is pretty psychologically damaging. I'm not saying that it should be, but that's kind of the stigma that virginity has in the male mind.

Being fuckzoned can't be fun for a woman, of course, but I think that inexperienced men take being friendzoned more seriously in their minds.

I_can_get_loud_too · 2023-08-27T04:53:53+00:00

I would think it’s equal. No human of either gender likes feeling like we’re not good enough for the partner or person we desire.

Proudvow · 2023-08-27T11:29:23+00:00

Depends on the frequency.

At first a woman will take being fuck zoned worse, since she got further along the path of intimacy before being told nothing was going to happen. She gave everything to the guy and he left it on the table. But if a woman constantly gets fuck zoned she may just embrace it as a "hoe phase" and start having fun with really attractive guys without letting herself become emotionally invested.

For the friendzone it's the reverse. If one woman isn't into you like that and just wants to be friends it's not the end of the world. But if you constantly get friendzoned it becomes infuriating. All of these women like you as a person, but none of them have any deeper desire for you. You start to wonder what's going on. Do they not actually like you but rather just keep you around as an errand boy/emotional tampon? Are women not attracted to loyal nice guys? Is everyone just shallow? Overall it starts to give the man a negative impression of people, since absent some nefarious aspect of human nature it doesn't make "sense" for a guy who's supposedly valued by so many people to still have literally zero women romantically interested in him.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2023-08-27T12:28:00+00:00

Neither senerio actually exists. The friend zone and the fuck zone are just excuses "nice" guys and "nice" girls use because they are too insecure to be in a relationship.

Zealousideal-Ice-352 · 2023-08-27T12:35:23+00:00

I mean… in an age when young women are trying to emulate men, I’d say the friendzone for guys is infinitely worse.

I’m starting to see IG posts from girls who are straight up BRAGGING about guys that they’ve bagged like as if it’s an accomplishment.

Guys only friendzone girls in Hallmark movies for the female protagonists character development. No guy will voluntarily put himself in there, nor will he enjoy being there. It is absolutely humiliating unless the girl is ugly.

Over_North8884 · 2023-08-27T16:17:46+00:00

Women enter the fuck zone from abundance. Men enter the friend zone from scarcity.

Snekky3 · 2023-08-27T20:13:32+00:00

Seeing someone as a friend does not mean they are sexually unattractive. It means they are not seen as compatible as a partner.

Pure_Artist_2726 · 2023-08-27T21:29:02+00:00

No such thing as the “fuck zone”

Getting rejected will always hurt more than a friendship ending

SoulBadguy0408 · 2023-08-28T01:42:07+00:00

Friendzone

Petrofskydude · 2023-08-27T03:07:10+00:00

Honestly, getting fucked in the ass is probably more psychologically damaging than either of these two options.

diaryofalostgirl · 2023-08-27T02:48:34+00:00

I'd say they're equivalent, given that in one case, the man is not getting sex, but in the other, the woman is not getting intimacy. I tend to think these are the things we bitch about not getting when we bemoan our situations.

Kilatypus · 2023-08-27T10:04:45+00:00

As a man who has experienced being in the friendzone, and never having experienced being in the fuck only zone, I think bring fuck only zoned is much MUCH more damaging, acutely speaking. I don't like to compare or invalidate struggles, I just think sharing a physical bond ripe with strong hormonal and emotional catharsis, and to realize you are nevwr going to proveed further than this is much more mortifying. At least, in the friendzone, you knew your place before you got too far.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-08-27T03:50:02+00:00

The friend zone you have described is basically just being rejected. Then again, so is the fuck zone.

I would say the male rejection feels worse unless the woman somehow finds out that this is exactly what he thinks of her. But usually it can be hard for a woman in the fuckzone to know she is in the fuckzone--it often just seems like the guy is in a player phase, or not ready to commit to anyone, etc.

James_Cruse · 2023-08-27T07:30:02+00:00

Having my time and attention (along with the opportunity cost of that wasted) wasted for not getting anything in return - is far more damaging. And not only not getting anything - but having less than what I started with.

At least women are having sex in a situationship going nowhere. The chances of that converting from just sex to a more substantial relationship is far more likely (32% chance - I think was the number Dr. David Buss quoted) than a man has of converting a friendship with a woman to a relationship (when she rejected him).

Women are in a lottery of 1/3 chance of getting s relationship with that guy when she sleeps with him a few times. Obviously that drops drastically if she’s very attractive but has an awful personality (lots of sex/very few relationships) or she’s truly hideous looking (few sex partners with 0 committing).

Whereas with men it’s a 1/50 or worse chance when we’re in a friendship - with so much times & energy waisted with LESS to show for it, you life could be DAMAGED for it.

izzzy12k · 2023-08-27T08:38:37+00:00

The fuck zone has a chance to moving forward..

The friend zone, generally does not.. it's very rare anyone can get out and start anything physical with that person..

You are either a basic friend..

or a utility that provides for needs, that the person that they are hooking up with.. isn't providing for them.

That's why, as soon as I hear friendship or anything similar from someone who I'm looking to date.. I'm out.

Btdt, never again.

zyex12 · 2023-08-27T02:59:49+00:00

There prob about the same I mean women and men don’t like the friend zone but realistically it’s not the worse thing like hey atleast someone likes ur personality if they don’t like ur looks that’s just personal preference find someone who likes both. Plus idk how you’d even be able to quantify that

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2023-08-27T04:08:58+00:00

Friend zone by far. The thing is

Wide-Aside-7610 · 2023-08-27T04:51:03+00:00

Fuc zone 100%

HungerISanEmotion · 2023-08-27T08:21:46+00:00

Women are always greater victims.

Offcourse this also makes high N-count women more damaged.

Uglypostwall · 2023-08-27T02:57:06+00:00

I would say 'woman being put into the fuck zone' more psychologically damaging.

A guy in the friend-zone can potentially overcome it and become more desirable, causing women who previously rejected him to reconsider. However, the same cannot be easily said for women, as we will be already aged lol.

Maractop · 2023-08-27T04:29:45+00:00

A woman can choose if she wants to get put into the fuck zone or not by saying she doesnt want to have sex. Women also choose which guys they friend zone. A guy cant just choose to become sexually attractive to a girl and make her stop seeing him only as a friend. And its weird how people think guys who get friendzoned only want to have sex as if a guy cant just catch romantic feeling for a girl hes close with. Its like they are mad that the guy starts liking a girl hes around alot. How is that not normal? That line of thought is dehumaninzing tbh and assumes an alterior motive.

But to answer the question id say getting friend zoned. Because the guy is aware that hes essentially risking the friendship by liking the girl and hes basically told that she would never date him. You can go from the fuckzone to a realtionship. Most relationships now start from casual sex now. You cant go from the friendzone to a relationship

theprettyocean · 2023-08-27T06:47:04+00:00

They're both bad for someone's well-being, but being put in the "I'll have sex with you and lead you on" zone is the worst. That actually does psychologically damage women and traumatizes them. I have friends who just couldn't trust certain men at all because of that happening to them. Personally, I'm fortunate that I've avoided that (I mean I'm also VERY conservative sexually haha, unless I'm really into someone and dating them seriously) and I do think my style of dating helps with that, but it can make a woman feel completely used.

Sex is a big deal guys. I know it's a big deal to want someone and not be able to have them, but sex is a physical act you can't un-do. It can change your DNA.

browsing8 · 2023-08-27T16:51:45+00:00

being put into the bf zone and rejected for friends with benefits zone is the most psychologically damaging to the self esteem

Garfish16 · 2023-08-27T02:59:22+00:00

Woman definitely. They aren't fundamentally very different but it happens to men all the time so we are used to it.

FightMeCthullu · 2023-08-27T04:38:16+00:00

Actual psychologically damaging?

I mean it depends on the person.

If you’ve been put in the “fuck zone” by every guy you’ve been friends with, maybe you end up unable to trust men in general. Maybe your boyfriend has a girl best friend and your experiences leave you unable to believe he doesn’t secretly want her. Maybe you end up feeling insecure because everyone only wants you for your body and you start believing that’s all your good for.

If you’ve been out in the friend zone by every girl you like, maybe you end up bitter and resentful. Maybe you become insecure because you’re never “picked” and it makes you feel undesirable. Maybe you resign yourself to loneliness and refuse to get to know any women to save yourself the disappointment.

If it’s only a couple times for each individual, other issues - mental health, level of confidence - have a huge effect on psychological damage.

Also your attitude towards it, how good your coping mechanisms are, how good your emotional control is.

Like, I have ADHD with a side of “rejection sensitivity dysphoria” (common symptom in ADHD especially late diagnosed like me) - even the idea of rejection can send me spiralling horribly. It’s my responsibility to deal with that like an adult, but the mere idea of rejection can make me want to die so you could argue either being friendzoned or fuckzoned is horribly damaging for me. I got lightly scolded for being late to work once and seriously considered suicide for example.

Now obviously rejection seriously psychologically damages me to an unreasonable extent….but it’s my job to be on top of that and manage that.

So psychological damage is dependent on the person as much as the situation, and either way it’s up to every individual to cope healthily with the damage as best they can - or to seek help and find better coping mechanisms if they are struggling to do that.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-08-27T05:00:32+00:00

Well considering that almost all of the actual damage occurs because the person in distress won't back off a little and have a real good think about it and then behave sensibly in a self protective manner...I say it is irrelevant which is more damaging. Thats like asking whether self harm is more harmful if you use a razor or bang your head on the floor...idk maybe self harm is more harmful depending on your absolute godawful determination to harm yourself and keep harming yourself? So you're really asking who is most determined to ruin their lives over someone being just out of reach. And that's a dumb question that misses the point...the point is take responsibility for yourself and stop harming yourself, and definitely stop acting like it is harm someone else is doing to you.

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Safinated · 2023-08-27T07:28:08+00:00

Depends on the person, of course

frozone65 · 2023-08-27T11:37:03+00:00

A woman being put into the fuck is potentially way worse because she has a biological clock and can ruin her mental health if she wants a family. She can never get that time back.

Zealousideal-Sell137 · 2023-08-27T15:40:10+00:00

Women get friendzoned too and as a woman I'd prefer 10x to be in the fuckzone than friendzone.

Dull-Laugh-4037 · 2023-08-27T15:51:18+00:00

Girls can easily avoid this supposed "fuck zone" very easily by choosing to make the guy wait until having sex with him. And I don't mean a few dates. I mean until he actually shows he is committed to you.

ATasteofTx214 · 2023-08-27T16:00:31+00:00

Fkzone is more detrimental overall due to time wasted; but if the sexual attraction and chemistry r strong enough, both parties can extract a lot emotionally, socially, and financially from that relationship to fulfill their other needs. I doubt being friendzone'd feels the same.

AnyIntroduction3288 · 2023-08-27T16:32:50+00:00

Nobody is going to end up a baby mama or with an STD from being in the “friend zone”. Being in the friend zone doesn’t increase your n count or decrease your SMV and RMV.

I understand men want to win the victim Olympics and compare friendship to being used for sex, but this is a topic where they won’t win.

jtinian · 2023-08-27T16:56:05+00:00

I mean, I don't see any women committing mass shootings or offing themselves because they were radicalized by incel culture

TaemonDocks · 2023-08-27T17:14:23+00:00

I'd say the friend zone is worse. Platonic relationships are just another reminder that you're not worthy of sex, and a sexless man is red flag material to some women.

Safinated · 2023-08-27T18:14:58+00:00

It’s not damaging to me. Just disappointing

waffleznstuff30 · 2023-08-27T19:00:30+00:00

The fuck zone is way more psychologically damaging than the friend zone.

The fuck zone is where your situationships and lying about intentions are. It's breadcrumbing and bare minimums to get sex. It's where lovebombing is and quick devaluation afterwards because they got what they wanted. Like emotional damaging stuff. It's being seen as a thing to use the value of your personhood isn't there. Just sex and go on. It's being fed boyfriend lies for use of your body. Like it tests your reality and things like that and makes you second guess yourself when the audacious shit starts flying. Like this man wants to the most intimate thing with you but doesn't like you..? It's really conflicting messages.

Friendzone is pretty harmless. Oh they don't feel romantic feelings about you but value you as a person to continue having you around. You're not being used. You are free to go out and date other people. You can go out to lunch and pay separately on tabs you can get integrated into another social circle and meet new people. If you are friends with someone that expects boyfriend treatment even though she says you're just friends that's probably not a good friend? I can say if a man I'm not attracted to kept trying to give me boyfriend treatment even though he is just a friend I don't see him romantically. I would be over that friendship because if I set the boundary that they are only my friend and should treat me as such and they keep trying to romance me I would probably not want to be friends with them.

spadoinklemillenia · 2023-08-27T22:03:15+00:00

The fuck zone is when someone enters a friendship under flase pretenses; only being friendly hoping they can bed that person, while the other person thinks they are building a friendship. It is often filled with deceit; they'll pretend to respect you & enjoy your interests, but they're only saying any of these things to get into your pants. Being fuck-zoned hurts so much because of all of the lies. I would much rather be friend-zoned.

Additional_Speech164 · 2023-08-29T16:02:31+00:00

Uhh there’s no “ putting “ someone in the friend or fuck zone. The “ victim” places himself/herself there.

Title	What’s more psychologically damaging; a guy being put into the friend zone or a woman being put into the fuck zone?
Author	Crafty_Letter_1719
Upvotes	3
Comments	149
Date	August 27, 2023 2:40 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/162edxw/whats_more_psychologically_damaging_a_guy_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-more-psychologically-damaging-a-guy-being.1230686 https://theredarchive.com/post/1230686

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