Obviously, we do not sleep with everybody we are attracted to. We do not even attempt to do so. This is just about attraction.
A man may fantasize about cheating on his wife with his secretary, but other concerns (commitment to fidelity, "love" for his spouse, fear of divorce) may stop him. The attraction still exists.
So I think that even women who may date "nice guys", are still sexually attracted to "bad boys".
I think most people can tell the difference between these two statements:
- "I won't date X because I am not attracted to him".
- "Even though I am attracted to X, I won't date him because he is an unstable partner".
For my view to be changed on this, I would like the following to be addressed:
- Why does all of the erotic literature targeted at women portray affairs with aggressive bad boys? often the woman is cheating on her boring, "nice guy" husband. Take Lady Chatterley's Lover, in which the titular character is bored of her intellectual husband and has an affair with the manly gardener. Fifty Shades of Grey is about a woman who essentially becomes enslaved to an aggressive and abusive man. Male sex symbols are almost always bad boys, and this has been true for most of cinematic history, from James Dean to Jason Momoa.
Of course, just because a woman reads these books does not means she wants these sorts of relationships in real life. However, fantasies do not exist in a vacuum; the married man who fantasizes about having sex with his secretary may remain faithful to his spouse, but he is still attracted to his secretary. So if an attraction to bad boys is not ubiquitous amongst straight women, why is there not more variation in erotic literature and sex symbols? - We also know that most straight women find muscularity attractive, even though they perceive these men to be worse partners. Notice how women talk about how sexy muscular men are, and yet there are very few examples of a woman being in happy long-term relationships with a muscular man with abs and a toned chest. Why would they find such physiques attractive if not that they indicate aggressive, macho personalities?
- Progressive women with good husbands report being unsatisfied. From a book review of 237 Reasons Why Women Have Sex:
Then I learn why women marry accountants; it's a trade-off. "Clooneyish" men tend to be unfaithful, because men have a different genetic agenda from women – they want to impregnate lots of healthy women. Meston and Buss call them "risk-taking, womanising 'bad boys'". So, women might use sex to bag a less dazzling but more faithful mate. He will have fewer genetic benefits but more resource benefits that he will make available, because he will not run away. This explains why women marry accountants. Accountants stick around – and sometimes they have tiny little feet!"
Studies show that there is almost a direct negative correlation between men women find attractive and those perceived to be good partners. This is apparently not just incidental, but causal.
the delicate, tentative guy who politely thinks about you and asks if this is okay or that is okay is a guy who may meet the expectations of your gender politics (treats me as an equal; is respectful of me; communicates with me) and your parents’ preferences, but he may also put you into a sexual coma—not despite these qualities, but because of them.
In fact, many of these women end up leaving their husbands. They made the responsible choice which inevitably came at the expense of the excitement.
In The Huffington Post, Randi Gunther writes about women who cheat on or even leave their responsible husbands for masculine men:
How can a man be a caretaker and a warrior at the same time? How can he serve his woman’s need for a partner who is vulnerable, open, and intimate, while donning armor to fight the dangers that threaten his family and place in the world? How can he stand up and be a man amongst men, loyal to the hunting band that covers his back, while taking the night feeding, while not appearing less than a man? Did he blend his male energy with his female side, or did he learn to be more like a female at the price of his innate masculinity?
The women I have treated who have left their husbands for more “masculine” men believed that their new relationships would be able to both excite and nurture them. Sadly, that has not always happened. The veritable saint with balls is as elusive as ever.
A 2014 piece in The New York Times by a couples' therapist talked about how women in egalitarian relationships are sexually unsatisfied. One woman even mentioned that whilst she was angry that her husband did not clean up after himself, doing so would turn her off sexually. So if an attraction to bad boys is not ubiquitous amongst straight women, why is it that even women married to nice men find themselves more sexually attracted to macho bad boys? Why are nice guys always the second choice after a woman has had fun with bad boys?
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Nope, it really just being physically attractive.
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Being hot only has to do with having the right bones.
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Eh, no, they’re a turnoff to me and have been since I was young. I find it kind of overcompensating and immature
I prefer high achievers who are also fearless and physically fit but nice. The clean cut kind of guy you can bring home to mom and loves to just cuddle but has lean muscle under his shirt and is athletic.
Bad boys elicit visceral disgust especially if they’re not clean or clean shaven. Much prefer the slightly shy hottie to the suave playboy
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Denotes that they’re healthy and fit, and fit my active lifestyle. Too much means they’re spending too much time at the gym.
And no, some playboys have the unshaven French look. Suave playboy guys always seem kind of greasy to me no matter how clean they actually are. It’s the personality
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Some do, some don't. How many's in each bucket, that's the question.
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You're not going to like the answer, it's pretty boring: it depends, lol.
There's probably a nurture component somewhere in there. Also, I think girls going for 'bad boys' is a trend that's notable, but not like the only trend. More common in the states, less likely in Europe, or Brazil, because of tv and stuff.
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