If you desire a traditional man or woman, you better be traditional yourself

JustaGuyinFinance · 2022-03-02T12:48:41+00:00

Of course. Traditional women usually have a list of dealbreakers just as long if not more as a traditional man looking for a traditional wife.

One of the reasons my wife and I hit it off so well was that we both had a long list of dealbreakers and they were very similar. Which meant that there was a lot in common when it came to our value system. It's a lot easier to open up when you know the other person feels the same way you do.

Both of us wanted a partner with no past, non-alcoholic, non-smoker, no drugs etc.

When it came to traditional roles, my wife is well-educated but didn't want to pursue the traditional corporate grind so to speak while I had a job that required me to work a lot of hours. She wanted to do something on her own and was looking for someone who would let her stay at home and pursue it.

We help each other out as much as we can although to a large extent it is a traditional paradigm

Noodles_R · 2022-03-02T12:37:50+00:00

Non trad people can demand trad people if they want. They’ve just got to be prepared that they might not get one.

OneAngryBlutbad · 2022-03-02T12:11:30+00:00

If you're a man who wants a traditional woman you better be the breadwinner, you better be paying for all of the bills, you better be taking her out and looking after her financially, you get broken into during the night you better be the one going out there to stop them, you better take on that strong masculine leadership role, you better be treating her to shit like a good husband.

For my great-uncle, this included killing three bears in order to prove he could marry my great-aunt.

bluehorserunning · 2022-03-02T15:05:55+00:00

Yes.

A couple doesn't have to be 100% one way or the other, but if they have an in-between balance, they have to find one that works for them both. If they both work 40 hours a week, for example, because they want the standard of living that two incomes provide, then they're also going to have to either hire a housekeeper or split the housekeeping duties.

throwaway316stunner · 2022-03-02T15:04:02+00:00

I don’t care about traditions and all that, just so long as said hypothetical woman genuinely loves me.

FoxCQC · 2022-03-02T17:09:00+00:00

Trad thing always seemed like a fantasy. People were doing plenty of bad stuff back in the day they just didn't talk about it. It's healthier now that we have a dialogue.

Barneysparky · 2022-03-02T13:08:21+00:00

Both my Guy and and I are non-traditional.

Neither demanded traditional from the other.

Over 20 years later and out marriage has some traditional components (his job is more important I take care of the home), and some not-so-traditional components (he's retiring soon while I have no plans of retiring).

So many people here see the world in black and white.

heyitsjeapeagain · 2022-03-02T14:32:30+00:00

Well, not opposed to some of the things on that list but there is a lot more involved to make that “traditional,” I would think.

Da_Famous_Anus · 2022-03-03T05:06:08+00:00

The male paragraph is so steeped in financial add-ons that it no longer reflects a balance between men and women.

Part of the reason that this is so hard today is because women expect so much - more than they ever have. There are only so many billionaire and millionaire men in the country, in the World.

It used to be, you could be a middle class earner who works hard, provides enough, and creates stability and security. Now it's like women will only consider a man acceptable if he owns more than one yacht and a ferrari minimum.

Women are providing less than they've ever provided. Men are still expected to do more and more.

In the end, I agree with this conversation. But the description of both sides clearly illustrates some of the major underlying issues.

Women will only even consider the top 10% guys. Every other guy is invisible.

HumanNumber348 · 2022-03-02T15:13:53+00:00

Why do you care? Unrealistic standards only become a problem when someone is being a dick about it and begins blaming others for their inability to find what they want. But if I just go about my day desiring an alien wizard prince bf with 3 dragons and a giant tentacle cock, who are you to judge?

boomawangg · 2022-03-02T15:39:36+00:00

I thought this is all obvious

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TheRealMekkor · 2022-03-02T14:34:56+00:00

Hear Hear!

goatismycopilot · 2022-03-02T17:12:29+00:00

Traditional never really existed except for UMC and wealthy people. Wealthy women had nannies, wet nurses, tutors, and govrernesses. Wealthy women did not really parent their children.Nor did the men. Then they got shipped off to boarding school. Not much parenting happened and there were servants for cooking and cleaning.

My working class grandmothers had side hustles and part time jobs and in larger families the older children often raised fed and bathed the younger kids. In large farm families the kids were all doing chores in the field. My grandmother's oldest sister had as much a hand in " raising" her as her mother.

A few generations ago poor and working class kids were working at 14 anyway. Both of my grandfather's had adult jobs at 14 as did one of my grandmother's.

The concept of traditional that is popular in PPD was not even really the dominant version. Most people did not own their own homes en mass until post WWII. A lot of women' work was doing laundry outside and gardening and "cooking" was often done by more than one woman in more groups efforts. People were not raising families in little isolated units, if anything there were more multigenerational arrangements or extended family units. People also shipped their children off to be raised by distant relatives if there was illness, death, starvation ect. " Traditional" is much more complicated than is being presented here.

Xoluxxer · 2022-03-03T06:27:42+00:00

Things have changed so much that this is only worth pursuing if you go all out into fully dedicated strict religion. And most people aren’t willing to do that.

LanaTownsend · 2022-03-03T08:13:46+00:00

Finally a reasonable post on this sub. I see way too many people of either gender with outlandish demands and expectations when they're not willing to hold themselves to the same standard.

WillingnessSuper9066 · 2022-03-03T09:04:44+00:00

💯💯 agree.

coolboy_24278 · 2022-03-03T19:40:13+00:00

advice applies more to feminists wanting guys to still pay all the dates and bills

Spacechicken1998 · 2022-03-02T14:33:30+00:00

Unfortunately non religious trad men are in short supply.

Plus men are becoming so goddamn effeminate it's hard to even FIND a masculine man.

I'm not tradcon at all but I definitely want to have a relationship with clear gender roles.

OfCatandPagan · 2022-03-02T13:58:44+00:00

If you're a man who wants a traditional woman you better be the breadwinner, you better be paying for all of the bills, you better be taking her out and looking after her financially, you get broken into during the night you better be the one going out there to stop them, you better take on that strong masculine leadership role, you better be treating her to shit like a good husband.

How to make the comment section seethe

If you're a woman who wants a traditional man, you better be doing all of the cooking, all of the cleaning, all of the household chores, you better be staying at home with the kids, you better make sure that house is always in tip top condition, you better be making sure your husband is at ease every night after work and you better be cherishing him and all he does for you.

See my remark above.

Anyway, sarcasm and sadistic glee at people getting angry over stuff like this.....not entirely traditional and I don't expect that of any man particularly the one I'm seeing. I bought him a really nice blade though that I plan on sending to him. Real bone handle and everything, thinking of getting him another one or possibly a sword and not that mall ninja bullshit. I have no idea what dynamic this is, but I like it.

tritoneharmonies · 2022-03-02T14:38:01+00:00

I'd add that neither should watch porn under any circumstances. Expect zero room to moan and bitch about the trad partner not wanting porn impacting the relationship.

revente · 2022-03-02T15:41:55+00:00

BS I'm loved by traditional girls but I'm super progressive.

You just need to

be very tall.

ErenYeagerwasright · 2022-03-02T13:08:24+00:00

You forgot one important thing for traditional women, that they need to be a virgin until marriage. Everyone seems to forget that point. I have something to tell you, but women in 1950 did not have a "wild party phase" in life, that's what modern women have.

Anti_Thing · 2022-03-02T16:36:42+00:00

Women contributing to household income is every bit as "traditional" as them not doing so. It has been common since the beginning of industrialization centuries ago for lower-class women to work at home part time helping to manufacture clothing for factories (a natural extension of the traditional role of making clothing for the family) in Western society, for example. In some native American cultures agriculture was largely seen as women's work, whereas in European & other cultures where agriculture was more advanced it was always common for women to sell agricultural goods in the market. Regularly taking her on extravagant dates isn't a necessary component to a traditional relationship either. My parents are quite traditional though my dad doesn't do that; both my parents would see it as a waste of money. Real traditional women are content with the amount of money their man makes.

Forsaken_Software394 · 2022-03-02T16:57:14+00:00

I am traditional. I was raised to be a homemaker/housewife but do you know how HARD it is to find a man that has traditional values? Do you know how hard it is to find a man that won’t dump you if you don’t have sex within weeks of dating? One that will provide without question? I’m blessed to be attractive and I don’t plan on altering my traditional standards but dating while looking for a traditional man is very tiring, they’re all already married!

Dogecoin_trader · 2022-03-02T12:37:12+00:00

Women already believe by default they are entitled to all those things from men, it doesnt seem to matter if they are an actual traditional woman with morals or a radical feminist.

Why do you think women always want a guy who is richer than her.

Ironically society has convinced women that having someone else provide everything for them in return for taking care of the kids and house is somehow a bad deal for them and they should demand more.

StarchRunner · 2022-03-02T13:18:52+00:00

Really, if you're not willing to be traditional yourself, you have no right to demand nor do you deserve to have a traditional partner.

What is a traditional partner and who enforces these rules and rights?

Aimeereddit123 · 2022-03-02T22:39:17+00:00

I AGREE! I knew I wanted to be a traditional stay at home mom since I was 5 years old. I knew I could never leave my baby in the care of someone other than myself. So dating, I just always said straight up, if you are looking for a career woman, or someone to split the bills with, don’t even take me out. Living in the south, I never had a shortage of men that wanted the same thing. I keep the home front, he brings in the money and pays the bills. We are happy, but I was always up-front about exactly the way I saw my life. Nobody had to guess at their roles.

UEMcGill · 2022-03-02T15:10:32+00:00

If you're a man who wants a traditional woman you better be the breadwinner, you better be paying for all of the bills, you better be taking her out and looking after her financially, you get broken into during the night you better be the one going out there to stop them, you better take on that strong masculine leadership role, you better be treating her to shit like a good husband.

The Alpha Provider, all except the last part. It wreaks of a covert contract. No one owes anyone anything.

Classic_Head3437 · 2022-03-02T15:16:35+00:00

I'm pretty lucky. I'm from west Texas. Everyone is pretty traditional. As much as I disagree with TRP, I believe in traditional gender roles. Large metros like Austin and Dallas are the only places you'll ever see any woke bullshit. Young guys just want a mom. Someone to heat up their dino nuggies while they game.

Ou-tis · 2022-03-02T13:07:56+00:00

I don't know what traditional meanss, I just don't want to be with a slut that had multiple partners and post herself in bikini or in other alluring ways online. But it seems a mission impossible for girls nowdays.

_-One4All-_ · 2022-03-02T17:06:56+00:00

Examples of non-traditional women includes tattoos, excessive piercings, aggressive mannerisms, children from other men (especially outside the confines of marriage, aka, a baby mama), inability to cook meals, desire to make the decisions in the relationship, etc

absoluteidealismftw · 2022-03-02T13:36:20+00:00

You are forgetting that the traditional man should be willing and able to lead his woman, take all the decisions (after consulting her, obviously), and discipline her if she doesn't obey, while the traditional woman should obey her man, be available to him sexually 24/7, and accept being disciplined. (And yes, this works very well.)

Hmuniz32 · 2022-03-02T18:26:05+00:00

100 percent! Well said

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-03-02T23:15:46+00:00

Isn't how, "traditional" roles happen dictated by circumstances in someone's life? 50 years ago the traditional role of a husband/father was to be the breadwinner etc. Now the needs of the couple or family directs, in many cases, both spouses to work. I know a number of stay at home dad's, they all once worked but the finances and logistics made the decision for them. Their spouse(s) were better educated and made significantly more money, they had a choice......but it was a choice driven by reason.

notsofriendlygirl · 2022-03-03T01:20:11+00:00

I, not anyone else, has to do shit no matter what their preferences are lol. This post is idiotic.

No-Rutabaga-7452 · 2022-03-02T19:58:27+00:00

That's so black and white. There's nothing that says that you have to be all or nothing when there's plenty of ground in the middle to occupy.

sigma1932 · 2022-03-03T10:55:47+00:00

Most people don't actually know what being a "traditional woman" actually means... even the OP's list is severely truncated/ambiguous.

Couple points they missed on the female side:

You get with him early in life (Which requires you GROW THE FUCK UP early in life-- not in your 30's after your "hoe phase"), and stick by him regardless of how far he gets or if he stumbles, until he gets back up on his feet (and if he doesn't you still honor the commitment you made--- traditional marriage means "in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, 'til death do you part).

It's not "THE kids"... it's "HIS kids" (as in not someone else's... don't be coming at him with a brood of some fuckboy's bastards).

"Making sure he's at ease" includes living according to his 40hr/week salary with a surplus figured into the budget. His job is to provide stability, not luxury that requires he work himself into an early grave-- which most certainly doesn't put him "at ease".

If you expect him to work more than that, you better damn well learn how to maintain all the yard equipment and make home repairs/upgrades, because you'll be doing that part of covering his traditional role since he won't have time (because he's out working and not home), let alone the energy to, and you're not wasting money paying contractors/repairmen). Also understand his ability to be a father will be limited if the only time he's home is when either he or the kids are asleep, and you can forget about "date night" for the same reason if he has to work non-stop.

Master__B0b · 2022-03-03T13:43:12+00:00

Exactly what my wife and I plan to do. She is really looking forward to quitting her job when I finish law school cand raise our kids fulltime while I work. Me too for that matter. Both of our dads worked while our moms raised us. I cannot even begin to describe how much I feel like that benefited our early childhood development.

Title	If you desire a traditional man or woman, you better be traditional yourself
Author	DrinkItInMan11
Upvotes	340
Comments	248
Date	March 2, 2022 11:57 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/t4ykwd/if_you_desire_a_traditional_man_or_woman_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-desire-a-traditional-man-or-woman-you.1104514 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104514

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