Guys that get mad because a girl 'makes them wait' while being 'fast' with other guys are acting entitled to sex.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-03-25T14:37:30+00:00

men are not entitled to sex. but i think men have a legitimate right to be concerned about a woman who displays less attraction to them. i don’t necessarily think how long she wants to wait is the best metric of attraction, either, but i understand it when trying to gauge someone’s interest.

HumanNumber348 · 2022-03-25T15:25:25+00:00

I disagree. If waiting for sex was a legitimate sign that a person is not into you, it would be perfectly reasonable to be concerned about it. It’s not entitlement, it’s just wanting a partner who genuinely likes you. The real problem is that these men are wrong when they assume that a woman waiting for sex means she is not attracted to them.

Sekina7 · 2022-03-25T22:51:19+00:00

How do men reward the women who sleep with them quickly and demonstrate the raw lust they CLAIM they want? Well, they will take what they can and then judge that VERY same woman for doing what they claim they wanted. KEY difference the hypocritical men on this sub conveniently ignore is that men brag ALL THE TIME about have zero to low standards for JUST SEX. Add to that these (including 'average') men's selfish desire to go for girls who they know they would NEVER LTR but who they know are into them, usually for a serious relation ship just for the ego validation of being desired bye omen they have no serious interest in and it is clear what even if women wanted to, they have to screen out the men they consider LTR material because of men's Madonna Whore complex and view of women as ego validation sex dolls.

Maybe if men only tried to pursue/ sleep with women they want to have relationships with instead of leading the majority of women on just to pump and dump them whilst chasing and offering the world, respect etc to the top women WHO IGNORE THEM they would not have to play stupid games. Or better yet EVERY TIME they know they are pursuing a women they only see as physical pleasure they tell her upfront I only want sex, not even friendship you in? Because what us really going on is most of you treat dating like a free escort service that you are too cheap to even pay for.

Women can't trust horny men's fawning and promises when dealing with the possible consequences that disproportionately affect women for the sake of crappy casual sex, especially when those men these women think are genuine don't even like them beyond being them as a convenient hole. You all did this to your selves so enjoy!

floralgirl2002 · 2022-03-25T14:25:56+00:00

this is another one of those things you see on reddit all the time but less so irl, so I wouldnt stress about it too much.

the one thing that seems pretty valid that I have heard from my brothers is when a girl will have a one night stand with one guy because they think he is hot, and then make another guy wait because he is "boyfriend material" kind of mixed messaging and I understand how that would hurt a mans feelings

sivarias · 2022-03-25T14:44:49+00:00

Its not entitlement. Its aspie math and different values.

Men value sex so they see it as:

Sex = Hotness + Commitment/time

So, if they have to give more commitment or time for sex, they take it as being perceived as a less valuable or less attractive men.

That's it. That's the end of the issue. It's not sex entitlement; it's math and value differences. Women tend to not see sex as valuable, so they have a different equation. Probably something like:

Commitment = Sex + Congeniality + Reputation

So then it turns into, who wants to pay up first?

Choice-Instance-8409 · 2022-03-25T14:27:06+00:00

Hey if I was the man. You made me wait, but figure out you have already slept with other man. Fck that I'll break up with you no question ask. Go find some blue pilled man that are willing to be caught in your trap.

rhumel · 2022-03-25T15:43:58+00:00

It's not.

I don't have a problem with a girl making me wait, I'm not entitled to sex, I've waited before.

The problem I do have is with trickery and deceiving.

The "something serious" part implies that if you have sex rather quick then it's not serious.

Why?

Because the girl is assuming that the guy would not respect a woman who simply fucks around... so she deceives him. She makes him believe he's waiting because she's not having sex and values sexual intercourse as a mean to show affection and commitment to a partner... and then goes to her FWB and gags on his dick.

I'm ok with waiting and I'm also ok with girls having FWB... but be honest about it.

What do you think the guy going for a "serious relationship" would do if he knew you had sex with your FWB before the date with him? Demand to also have sex with you? No, he would just not be ok with who you're and would not like to pursue a serious relationship.

It's not about being entitled to sex, it's about being tricked to think you're with a person who holds different values than what she's showing you to have.

Again, I don't give a fuck if the girl fucks with me in the first date, I don't think less of her. I don't give a fuck if I have to wait for the girl to be comfortable to have sex with me, I don't think less of her. I DO GIVE A FUCK about being lied and tricked to think she "doesn't fuck around" and "is serious" while she does exactly the opposite, I'm not ok being lied to, I do think less of her.

Euphemia006 · 2022-03-25T15:13:49+00:00

What just wanted to say in a nutshell is that the man must move on. And i think that is right.

NotADoctorAnymore · 2022-03-25T15:46:52+00:00

I don’t think they feel entitled to sex so much as they feel they’re being lead on with presumption of sex possibly at some point.

Imagine if a guy was taking women he hooked up with on lavish dates and buying them gifts. Then he gets with you and says he’s not going to do that because he wants make sure you’re serious. You’d probably feel some kinda way and question it right?

obscureanalyst · 2022-03-25T14:25:54+00:00

Its refusing to accept a bad deal.

DiabloTheDreamer · 2022-03-25T16:04:45+00:00

If she's making you wait you're trash to her that's facts

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-03-25T14:36:35+00:00

No, it's not. The reason guys are made to wait for sex is because they act like a guy who is boyfriend material, instead of a ONS material. If you are inviting women on dates, talking about their hopes and dreams, asking them about their day and being an all around nice guy, you instantly get relegated to potential boyfriend category. Potential boyfriends are made to wait for sex (girl doesn't want to appear slutty, too easy, etc, so her play hard to get training kicks in). If these guys showed up as someone who only wanted one thing and treated a queen like a whore, they'd be scoring way more casual sex. Women are just reacting to how you show up.

SolidTunnelSnake · 2022-03-25T15:12:52+00:00

Anyone will get angry over inequality, especially if it’s something they can’t overcome. If you’re the boyfriend material in a relationship, you should treat a girl like she’s girlfriend material and make her wait years for a proposal or whatever it is she wants from you.

sootlord · 2022-03-25T18:00:49+00:00

Men need to stop jumping through hoops for women what the other guy got for free

Consumer31314 · 2022-03-25T14:53:39+00:00

Not really, that’s only the case if the woman has slept around. If she usually makes guys wait this isn’t a problem. It’s insulting to know a woman will have sex with a stranger for a one night stand but then wait months to sleep with you in an actual relationship.

NakedStreets · 2022-03-25T22:07:10+00:00

I think it’s entitlement, but also an inability to see women as full human beings with emotions.

Everyone understands that it would be hurtful to be ghosted after sleeping with someone you really like and want to be in a relationship with.

It’s completely understandable to act to reduce the risk of that harm.

But many men can’t see sex as a risk women take, and just see it as an entitlement for themselves.

poppy_blu · 2022-03-25T14:28:09+00:00

Or they could just grow a spine and next a woman they feel like isn’t giving them what they want or being truthful about her attraction to him.

Nah. Can’t have that. Can’t expect adult men to be responsible for asserting their needs and boundaries. That’s misandry.

TwoFirmFeet · 2022-03-25T15:55:55+00:00

ITS NOT WHAT I WANT, ITS ABOUT WHATS FAiR!!!!

avoriure · 2022-03-25T16:34:13+00:00

i think women who like casual sex and are also open to relationships do this because they know there’s a high chance the guy they sleep with on the first date will move on after he gets what he wants. if she doesn’t consider him boyfriend material and just attractive, it’s easy for her to forget about him. if she meets someone she genuinely likes and considers boyfriend material, she doesn’t want to jump into sex because she might fear that they’ll leave like it was just a hookup, which might hurt.

DisturbedBurger · 2022-03-25T19:04:08+00:00

True story: somebody I know was showing off a guy she's talking to that she's insanely attracted to but said she doesn't want to fuck up long term possibilities by jumping on him right away.

I suspect this is the reason most of the time.

Trikger · 2022-03-25T15:13:09+00:00

"Body count lowers a woman's value."
"I'm angry she didn't immediately rip off my clothes after the first date."

????

abaxeron · 2022-03-25T15:13:14+00:00

I've seen guys complain

Stop making things up. Men just stand up and leave.

Men are not entitled to sex; women are not entitled to make men wait. Win-win.

ruboyuri · 2022-03-25T14:32:45+00:00

They feel entitled to sexy attraction, for some reason, without being sexy attractive

2022-03-25T15:02:00+00:00

we ARE entitled to sex if YOU are entitled for our commitment.. if its a casual thing we don’t care..

sarkington · 2022-03-25T15:45:34+00:00

Naw, this particular subset of men just expect women to be men when it suits them. We’re not

Admirable_Bee_8714 · 2022-03-25T15:29:31+00:00

What men who complain about this shit need to understand is that if a woman is making you wait for it, it doesn't mean that you can't go out and get it with someone else. While you are in this period she should never be your only option for sex.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-03-25T17:15:50+00:00

It's also a fundamental misunderstanding of why women choose to have sex, and with who. Fucking a guy quickly doesn't mean I'm more attracted to him. It just means I finished vetting him quickly.

If a guy wants immediate sex, he should be looking for hookups...not relationships.

throwaway164_3 · 2022-03-25T14:28:14+00:00

Sure, and nothing wrong with that!

Guys should only date women who find them attractive and wants to have sex at the same pace as she did with other guys she found attractive.

Sex is magic. There are few greater pleasures in life than listening to a woman moan in pleasure as you fuck her brains out. So why date a women who doesn’t respect your need for sex? Plenty of options nowadays

AntiSocialPartygoer · 2022-03-25T15:13:04+00:00

Well, I think this is not about male entitlement, it's about cunning and dishonest women who string men along on purpose.

2022-03-25T15:03:12+00:00

OP getting hammered.. love it

mrmoneytrain · 2022-03-25T14:25:07+00:00

Yes. Because if you’re not entitled to the woman in the same way that others were that means she deems you less valuable. But women psychologically often want to make the more valuable guy wait so that he thinks they’re housewife material. It’s all just a fun game at the end of the day

LalaTheSecond · 2022-03-25T15:21:55+00:00

I love it when guys leave when you don't put out. That just means they wanted you for sex anyways.

BarrackOsamaBinBiden · 2022-03-25T14:32:24+00:00

that’s cuz sex is free, stop being so stingy with it. Sharing is caring!

i hate hoes who don’t put out cuz i’m putting it in!!!

MrMushySauce · 2022-03-25T15:07:42+00:00

Does it matter what you call it? Women all know men want sex. Why would I want to date a girl who is more interested in giving other people what they want, rather than me?

I'd take a chick who had 10 ONSs and had one with me too over a chick who had 1 ONS but wanted me to wait 3 months. If I'm not appealing enough to you to "make you take that dastardly risk of pulling your pants down," I'm not appealing enough to you for me to see it as a viable relationship. I exclusively want a relationship where we are both at or near the pinnacle of attractiveness for each other.

FlamingCoochies · 2022-03-25T16:33:23+00:00

If a company you're applying to offers you a 9-5, 5 days a week minimum wage job while someone with a similar skillset and education level got 5k a month for the same workload how would you feel?

John_Oakman · 2022-03-25T15:49:13+00:00

I think real/manosphere men just can't/won't understand the reasoning behind the fact that some women show their love to their SO by withholding sex & intimacy.

Transmigratory · 2022-03-25T17:51:56+00:00

If she makes you wait while she gave it up for someone else, or several others quicker. It is logical to infer that she isn't that into you. Hence the annoyance.

empresa_josefina · 2022-03-25T18:43:30+00:00

I don't see a distinction between "I'm making him wait for sex because he's bf material" and "I am weaponizing sex to secure a relationship" if the woman otherwise is comfortable with fast casual sex. Once we're in a relationship, what's to stop her from withholding sex because I won't do chores or haven't proposed or any other arbitrary reason?

I don't want to date a woman who is willing to weaponize sex so I just break up if I sniff that she's making me wait. It's usually obvious because they frame it as "I am tired of getting my heart broken by fuccbois so I will take it slow with you."

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King-SAMO · 2022-03-25T18:19:56+00:00

Sure, but the flip side of this is that it isn’t an entirely unreasonable boundary to only date people who are Into You.

someone who wants to get off with you is generally indicating at least one dimension in which they are Into You.

so in the absence of that particular indication, what else can a lady do to indicate that she is Into You?

that last question is a poll, btw.

CosmicBioHazard · 2022-03-26T23:18:39+00:00

If you’re hooking up casually with random guys, That tells a man that sex is just sex to you, not something special to save for someone important.

You’ve got your guys out there who will lose interest on that basis alone, but we’re here to discuss the ones who turn you down for making them wait.

What it tells them is that, although you don’t particularly value sex at all, it’s nothing special, you still choose to withhold it until he gives you what you want; You don’t want to have sex with him for the sake of having sex with him. That makes him think you’re not physically attracted to him, and view sex as being more valuable to him than it is to you. You’re comfortable going without even though it doesn’t mean anything to you and you enjoy it enough to just seek out some random guy to have it with.

If you enjoy it that much, but won’t even do it just to humor him until he’s proven his commitment, it makes him feel like you’re after something of his other than the joy of being with him, and he passes on you.

quabbicoo · 2022-03-25T15:37:44+00:00

Men here always assume that quick sex = intense attraction. It’s clear to me that men don’t understand (or don’t care) how many young women are pressured into having sex or manipulated into having sex quickly, or given bad advice about how having sex early on will make him “stay.”

Being going and naive, having poor self esteem and wanting to be loved. I can’t tell you how many slimy men with bad reputations turned into salesmen to try to get me to sleep with them. For women who don’t know those men and their reputations, I can truly see how they might fall victim to pretty words and empty promises.

Women who had casual sex a few times and realized it wasn’t for them, I don’t hold that against them. They did something, realized they didn’t like it, and won’t do it again. You’re not entitled to a ONS with her when she’s looking for a relationship.. and having sex with you on the first date runs the risk of that interaction turning into a ONS.

I feel the same way about women who tried sex acts with precious partners and decided they won’t do those acts anymore. You aren’t entitled to or owed someone’s discomfort to satisfy your crusade for “consistent treatment.” You can have those PREFERENCES, but I personally find them to be unreasonable and to have next to nothing to do with “attraction.”

She did it before and didn’t like it - do you want your “consistency” to come with those same feelings of regret? Do you want your partner to regret doing those things and be uncomfortable with you just because she did it before? If that’s the case, it’s about entitlement.

I think some men here have very dark views on how women should “serve them” and their views on what constitutes reciprocal attraction.

RPslimjim · 2022-03-26T01:43:39+00:00

They’re not acting entitled they’re just upset that they’re paying full price for a car that has a good amount of miles on it.

For example I won’t seriously date a woman until after I sleep with her. She won’t get my utility for free.

BigDudBoy · 2022-03-25T16:52:39+00:00

I think this post is just a consequence of how overused the word "entitlement" is as well as how negative the connotation has become. Guys get annoyed or mad when they find out a woman they've been seeing is choosing to not have sex with them (despite different past behavior) because it implies the guy is not attractive enough to make her really want to sleep with him.

Imagine a guy takes every new woman to expensive restaurants or does really fun dates like going to an amusement park. Then suddenly with you it's just a coffee shop date or an easy meal at his place. He might just enjoy talking with you more, but you're definitely going to get annoyed that the treatment suddenly changed with you. I wouldn't describe that as "feeling entitled to his money".

jonreynolds1999 · 2022-03-25T18:25:34+00:00

If she is making you wait and she did not do that with other guys that is definitely a cause for concern. More than likely that means she isn't sexually attracted to you and wants to settle down with you and use you. If a girl did this with me she would be dumped on the spot

Gold_Equipment5916 · 2022-03-25T18:29:51+00:00

Incredibly dumb take. Even though the usual redditors love to abuse this strawman, "entitled to sex" rarely explains anything and has nothing to do with why men care about this situation.

As it has been established before, sociosexuality is hugely important at determining how willing and capable people are at having stable, satisfying long-term relationships.

What happens here is that a woman who had casual sex with random men in the past and, when looking for a serious relationship, makes her current partner wait, what she´'s trying to do is to conceal her sociosexuality. In other words, she's trying to paint herself as "not that kind of girl" when in reality she *is¨* a woman who likes to sleep around casually.

In fact, there's research showing that women with unrestricted sociosexuality (promiscuous women) divide men in those they want for casual sex (the men they are actually sexually attracted to) and those they want for serious relationships (the men they recognize are more stable), while women with restricted sociosexuality (marriage minded women) do not make that distinction. The result of that is that promiscuous women are most likely not attracted to the men they make wait for sex.

The dual-sexual strategy hypothesis claims that women select different men for short- and long-term relationships. In short-term relationships, women are attracted to good genes (e.g., masculinity, attractiveness); in long-term relationships, material traits (e.g., good income, patient) are favoured. A potential predictor of women's mating strategy is sociosexuality, a measure of an individual's willingness to engage in casual, uncommitted sex. We asked whether women high in sociosexuality (i.e., unrestricted sexuality) would demonstrate greater distinctiveness between short- and long-term mate preferences. In an online study, participants (N = 459) from India and the USA were apportioned a ‘mate budget’ to construct their ideal short- and long-term partners. Mate Dollars could be spent on either genetic or material traits. As expected, genetic traits were favoured for short-term relationships; material traits were favoured for long-term relationships. However, women with a more restricted sexuality preferred short-term mates who closely resembled their long-term preferences. Women from the USA (with typically less restricted sexuality) showed more distinctive preferences than women from India (with typically more restricted sexuality). Overall, a woman's sociosexuality influences the distinctiveness of her short- and long-term mate preferences.

Muggleton, N. K., & Fincher, C. L. (2017). Unrestricted sexuality promotes distinctive short- and long-term mate preferences in women. Personality and Individual Differences, 111, 169–173. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.01.054

Iron-Giant1999 · 2022-03-25T18:37:12+00:00

The gaslighting will continue until morale improves

Devourer_of_felines · 2022-03-25T19:00:21+00:00

So if a man treats his ex's to lavish dates and vacations regularly but only Netflix and chills with you, you wouldn't complain?

Sekina7 · 2022-03-25T19:06:36+00:00

Women reward men who dont care about them with sex while making their boyfriends wait for it. This is the point these "mad entitled men" are trying to make.

MrBurke100 · 2022-03-25T19:37:11+00:00

If a woman makes you wait for sex then she's not as attracted to you as she could be.

It happens to even the best of us. Every Chad is seen as a loser by at least one girl out there. It's a very common phenomenon.

The only actionable advice is to move on.

Khabeni412 · 2022-03-25T20:47:19+00:00

Women are the same way sometimes too. I have wanted to wait to have sex in many relationships I've had and women get sexually frustrated too. Albeit, not as much as men. In fact, one recent relationship was ended by her after four months because we hadn't done anything sexual yet. And my former marriage was ended because I lost interest in sex and my wife cheated. No one is entitled to sex. But to act like men are the only ones whom act entitled, is disingenuous.

TheEternalGhost · 2022-03-25T23:27:19+00:00

Guys that complain about being 'made to wait' because some other guy hit it faster are acting entitled to sex.

It has nothing to do with being entitled to sex. I don't want a girl to try to fool me into thinking she's sexually conservative when the truth is that she's actually promiscuous. That should be easy to understand.

If she's honest that she's currently sleeping with 3 different men casually but wants to take it slow with me because she thinks I'm boyfriend material then I can make an informed decision if that's what I want to be involved with. I certainly won't feel like I'm entitled to have sex with her.

Title	Guys that get mad because a girl 'makes them wait' while being 'fast' with other guys are acting entitled to sex.
Author	Academic_Snow_7680
Upvotes	0
Comments	359
Date	March 25, 2022 2:19 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/tnmydv/guys_that_get_mad_because_a_girl_makes_them_wait/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/guys-that-get-mad-because-a-girl-makes-them-wait.1107567 https://theredarchive.com/post/1107567

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