CMV: It’s a sign of extreme inequality that women facilitating sex work is seen as more and more publicly acceptable, but men using the services of a sex worker is just as taboo for men as its always been

Perfect_Sir4820 · 2022-10-31T12:42:57+00:00

If a woman told a public dinner table in 2022 that she was a sex worker most people (in the western world) would barely bat an eye or be shocked, theyd probably act all interested.

Reddit is not real life.

Hermiisk · 2022-10-31T10:52:22+00:00

Depends i guess? I think if a woman says she is a sex worker, most (not all) guys will act like they wont care, but wont touch that woman with a ten foot pole. (hyperbole, but you know what i mean.)

And the same other way around, guys wont care if their friend hired a hooker or three, but most (not all) women might look at you a bit different?

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-10-31T07:11:27+00:00

I’m pretty sure if a women announced at the family dinner that she was a sex worker, it would be met with an extreme reaction including concern for her safety as well as upset that she was reduced to this kinda work to make ends meet. You need to remember the vast majority of women in prostitution are not there by choice but desperation and that’s why so many are victims of trafficking/abuse/and drugs.

That’s why there’s still a taboo for menu using prostitution, it’s likely the women he’s using is desperate and although it’s an agreed service, he’s still preying on a vulnerable woman

samjeethyde · 2022-10-31T07:00:54+00:00

IMO sex work is a disgusting vile concept that commodified human intimacy, even if there is a "need" for it, it should exist only on the fringes of society and never be normalized to the extent it has been

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-10-31T13:34:44+00:00

Just buy your Onlyfans content and tip your stripper and don’t tell anyone.

ThisBoringLife · 2022-10-31T06:54:07+00:00

I would vehemently disagree. SWers in general face far more harassment and stigmatization than civilians, even civilians who partake in the services of SWers…not sure where you heard otherwise.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-10-31T13:06:35+00:00

Many people would do way more than bat an eye. Don't lie.
It's widely accepted, fuck expected men partake in sex workers services. it's called porn. You just don't talk about it the dinner table.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-10-31T13:49:39+00:00

Men want some women to be sex workers since it benefits them, but don’t want to date sex workers any more than women want to date men who they know hire them. Neither do men want their daughter, sister, mother, etc. doing it. That’s how you know how they really feel about women’s choices. It’s all liberal feminist “she’s a grown woman” as long as it benefits them and doesn’t reflect badly on them, and it’s not a woman they really care about.

shmikwa10003 · 2022-10-31T10:35:44+00:00

In general, people with something to sell are held in higher regard than the their consumers. Why should commoditized sex be any different?

alexaxl · 2022-10-31T12:42:42+00:00

Post modern western pop PR spin.

No ones keen on wifin OF girls

Think_History_5682 · 2022-10-31T13:54:48+00:00

Again,

Female privilege anything women do is liberating and brave

It's like with some minorities you need to handle them with white gloves or you trigger all the Karen's and male Karen's

RegTextoffender · 2022-10-31T14:24:54+00:00

Its not inequality, it speaks of the male quality.

Sex workers often take advantage of low quality men. Source I've had sex worker FWB's as a swinger and they can be quite predatory on lower value awkward males. They gave one 1000's, in some cases 10's of thousands, and weren't even getting to have sex.

This is an aspect of sex work that really gets underplayed, its not the usual stereotype of pimps taking advantage of their hoes now that the internet has opened up how men seeking out sex workers has changed.

The issue is that while there is definitely less stigma on sex work, the low quality male aspect is still the same.

Men and women are being judged for different things here.

A meth dealer who's not an addict themselves is judged differently than a user. This is similar.

Selling sex isn't the same as buying it. Buying sex can be rich successful men who "pay them to leave" or men cheating on their partners but also and often "can't get laid any other way" too.

Added there is less stigma for the "paying to leave" crowd, and cheating has its own issues so will be judged differently.

mistressusa · 2022-10-31T14:31:29+00:00

A man who hires prostitutes isn't automatically disqualified by most women as a potential husband.

A woman who was a prostitute is automatically disqualified by most men as a potential wife.

Sexism, plain and simple. To quote you, OP.

medlabunicorn · 2022-10-31T08:50:17+00:00

It’s a sign of extreme inequality that being a prostitute is illegal in most places, and paying a prostitute either is not, or de facto is not. It is a sign of extreme inequality that underage girls sex-trafficked into prostitution are charged with a crime when they are caught, rather than taken to CPS. It’s a sign of extreme inequality that many men use the word ‘pimp’ as a compliment.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-10-31T08:34:49+00:00

Who is likely to be excited or abused in a sex work interaction? Is it the john? Oh right, it isn't, prostitutes aren't actually hurting anyone. Might be why. (If you wanted to think about sexism, you'd need to compare male prostitutes to female.) And despite what you think, where prostitution or associated activities are illegal on both sides, prostitutes are way more likely to be targeted by police than johns, which goes against your theory that they're more accepted.

Exposure_Time · 2022-10-31T07:19:38+00:00

In what universe does OP live in?

xxeryuss · 2022-10-31T12:01:30+00:00

If anything its the opposite lmao

Immoral_devil · 2022-10-31T05:38:13+00:00

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ElectricBugs · 2022-10-31T08:12:36+00:00

No this makes perfect sense when you think about the reality of sex work.

The reality is that women doing sex work are desperate and doing it to survive a majority of the time. A lot of the women are victims of abuse, homeless, in poverty, vulnerable and disenfranchised.

Men who use sex workers are buying consent and using the most vulnerable people in society to satisfy their own desires. It is disgusting. And should be condemned

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2022-10-31T08:36:36+00:00

bro this is not even something that warrants discussion, the onlyfans girls clearly put themselves out there while the men are able to hide so this makes it balance out

erottawa · 2022-10-31T06:35:44+00:00

I must run in a conservative crowd, because if a woman told a group of my friends that she's sucking a dozen cocks a day for money, we would all view her as a dirty hooker.

2022-10-31T07:46:51+00:00

This is just a post of assumptions, do you know many sex workers or people who use sw services?

thetruthishere_ · 2022-10-31T13:22:27+00:00

What are you talking about? Sex workers are still seen as scum of the earth.

Spiritual-Spell-9351 · 2022-10-31T19:33:14+00:00

Well I think a lot of it has to do with the cultural changes that have occurred as a result of social media. Now people call themselves sex workers when they have an OnlyFans account (though I feel like that’s a bit of a stretch) or if they post nudes online or have a PornHub account. The term ‘sex work’ has come to encompass more than just hooking by the side of the road. If someone told me they were a sex worker these days, I’d assume they meant they have an OnlyFans.

I think a lot of the scorn comes from the fact that people associate men who solicit sex workers with being dirty, sleazy, and unfaithful. And because seeking sex is largely something one keeps secret, openly admitting to seeking out services is shameful. I also think society associates needing a prostitute with being undesirable as well. Like you have to PAY someone to sleep with you? Sex workers are also largely associated with incels and cheating husbands, so it’s understandably vilified.

angelhair12 · 2022-11-01T02:11:33+00:00

WOW !!! Welcome to equality - Since the beginning of mankind women have been stigmatized for this role men placed us in as “whores”; But, now there is some transparency of the situation that we are in and you feel embarrassed - I AM SO SORRY!!! NOT!!

BedroomJazz · 2022-10-31T08:00:31+00:00

It's toxic masculinity. It's the idea that a man is supposed to be the bread winner, player, alpha, Chad etc. Our backwards virgin-shaming society associates getting women to sleep with you with status. In that system, paying for sex makes you a "beta."

If we had futuristic VR sex experiences that were physically indistinguishable or even more stimulating than the real thing, people would call men losers for going this route, even though it would be safer and easier.

Deeply engrained into our society is the insecurity and obsession with sleeping with girls that society consists "9s and 10s"

inkybreadbox · 2022-10-31T08:48:12+00:00

Uh, I mean, I’m not sure how you think it’s more taboo than women doing the sex work. Most people that think sex work should be legal / regulated / accepted also think the same about men using those services.

There is a big difference between believing it should be legal and wanting to personally date a sex worker or a man that pays for sex though. So yeah, women might respect your right to hire sex workers, but not want to be with you because of it. That’s fair.

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2022-10-31T06:08:16+00:00

They might even blame him for participating in sex trafficking and yadayadyada..

Yes this us the reason. It's the most well known form of modern slavery. Most people have a desire to stop this, not just a widespread desire to keep men sexually frustrated.

EBZ1722 · 2022-10-31T08:01:52+00:00

Men who buy sex should be persecuted and shit on because they're propagating a system that treats women like human cattle.

ohdiddly · 2022-10-31T16:54:17+00:00

I think you'll find that the people who shame men for using the services provided by sex workers are also the same people who shame sex workers.

As someone who does sex work, I definitely feel like I have to be cautious about who I tell, because it's still a huge taboo. I've also been in social situations where men have talked about going to a brothel or seeing escorts and no one cared. It really just depends on the crowd.

hypothememe · 2022-10-31T16:56:35+00:00

Almost Everyones missing the point, Im not saying which one is worse.. Im saying how the viewpoint towards one has steadily been changing (in the positive direction) where as the viewpoint towards the other has literally not changed a bit.. that is extremely interesting and worth noting

Sauron_78 · 2022-10-31T12:01:51+00:00

Yeah, if a poor woman only wants to marry a rich guy nobody bats an eyelid either.

But if a man wants to pay for sex, woe to him!

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2022-10-31T23:42:52+00:00

Both are degenerate.

13thBaronettt · 2022-11-01T01:38:06+00:00

By definition a sex worker doesn't want to have sex with a john; if she did, the john wouldn't have to pay her. The fact that so many men are not only comfortable with but get aroused and are capable of having sex with a woman, knowing that she doesn't want to/isn't really interested in it, blows my mind. Not in a good way. The selfishness, the entitlement, and the utter lack of empathy and/or compassion - basically the deep denial of another person's most basic humanity that it takes to do such a thing, to pay into an industry that causes massive amounts of human suffering all over the world because one's "needs" are just that important...Idk. Patriarchy has done deep, deep, deep psychological damage to men that is becoming more and more apparent as time passes. We'll know we've made progress when it's no longer taken as a given that renting a sex slave and supporting global sexual slavery is acceptable, healthy and/or ethical.

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wtknight · 2022-10-31T10:54:48+00:00

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iLiveInAHologram94 · 2022-10-31T12:21:46+00:00

Only read your title. Interesting take. I think there’s some slight truth to that but I don’t think women facilitating sex work is that much more acceptable. Like it isn’t “acceptable” and when I’ve heard about it talked in the real world people talk about it down their nose. I have heard people say online like they’re getting their bag and empowers them and in a way it kind of does at least with like OF. And one of my coworkers talks about shelling money out on OF and other online girls but he’s such a funny and cheeky dude he gets away with saying a lot of stuff other people can’t. It’s hard to describe the phenomenon but he’s just a very unique person. While I guess I have heard some cases of the opposite I do mostly agree with the title but think just because it might be a bit more acceptable to do sex working vs using it, neither are still seen as actually “acceptable”

feanoric · 2022-10-31T13:35:03+00:00

I remember a thread in a sub about if it was OK to promote prostitution as real careers to young girls.

The point was that if sex work is as valid and as acceptable, then it should be acceptable as an option to sell those girls.

Obviously, the thread was locked, and a few users were banned (I hope I'm not for saying that).

But the question is valid... why people who defend sex work as valid as any other job do not think it is in those cases? Why the double-thinking?

bokan · 2022-10-31T13:55:55+00:00

This thread is interesting, everyone has radically different takes. Whether or not you find OP’s premise accurate must depend on some contextual factors.

For my part, in my social circles, a woman saying she is involved in sex work would not get any reaction really.

I’ve never in my life heard a man discuss going to a prostitute IRL. Certainly feels like there’s a lot of shame there.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-10-31T14:20:13+00:00

Never really thought about it from either perspective to be honest. I'm a woman.

Conscious_Ad_6572 · 2022-10-31T14:25:27+00:00

lol protection for women is going up and up, but men are slaved more and more

Some one said, Rome used to be like this

hypothememe · 2022-10-31T15:34:15+00:00

the difference is that its disgusting to have sex with someone who doesn't consent (money = coercion) but its not disgusting to be coerced into sex.

Visible-Ad8105 · 2022-10-31T15:58:31+00:00

Promiscuity in western women is heavily promoted today. Judging women who make money in this fashion is seen as taboo in the woke world we live in. Even other women who criticize it are called “pick me” or jealous. It is just one of the double standards that benefits women and fucks men. It’s not even just full on prostitution. U have onlyfans model hot tub streamers on twitch that are praised for the “work” they do but the men who donate are seen as simps/losers and receive no sympathy even though they are the ones who give them a job. A desperate woman being a sex worker in 2022 is damn near normalized/promoted while the idea of a desperate man paying for these services will always be shunned.

Shroomhunter93 · 2022-10-31T16:46:56+00:00

I thinks they’re both gross 🤮. Stds peeps stds.

NeighborhoodVeteran · 2022-10-31T17:06:55+00:00

I don't think it's being seen as more acceptable, no. Movements to decriminalize are more aimed at safetly, and does not mean people are for legalizing right now.

kingpinkatya · 2022-10-31T17:16:23+00:00

It wouldn't be hard for her to find a husband...plenty of strippers, escorts, sugar babies and phone sex operators are partnered...

I think a guy would be looked at strangely if he said he was seeking rub and tugs at the local massage parlor (trafficking is more likely in that situation). But meeting up with an appropriate provider in a consensual setting? Who cares-- obviously there is a market of available clientele because these women are making money.

Rolandinthedeepend · 2022-10-31T17:33:20+00:00

It’s different to say sex work should be legal for those that want to do it, versus, I’m totally fine with dating a sex worker. I’m pretty sure most people still don’t want to date a sex worker. And most people don’t want to date those who use sex workers. I could never date a sex worker or someone who wants to be one, but I’m fine with it being allowed if it’s what the person wants. Basically, if the only thing stopping someone from doing sex work is the consequences/stigma, then I’d rather know.

SadSorrySackOShip · 2022-10-31T18:04:27+00:00

Eh, I think there needs to be a distinction made here 1st.

"Sex-work" is too broad.

If you make solo sexual videos n post them on the internet for money, like a onlyfans or something, that's like porn but with no one else involved in making it. Most people do not bat an eye at men consuming porn. And recently ppl stopped being so judgy towards those who produce that content. So of course they're not going to be judgy of chicks or dudes who make solo content.

If you - guy or girl - literally let a dude stick his cock in you for money, on camera or off, you're a hooker, and most of your fam and friends are not going to think well of that.

Solo "porn" work is thought of more highly than being a hooker. Your average hooker does not feel comfortable telling people that's what he or she does, and those who are comfortable doing so usually are making the listener uncomfortable.

magiksissclit · 2022-10-31T18:47:27+00:00

We should certainly live in a society where people can be free to satisfy their innocent desires and passions without backlash. We still need law enforcement combatting trafficking as well as honesty in relationships.

Peacesquad · 2022-10-31T18:48:29+00:00

I have a hot take on this subject I hope I don’t get banned but won’t be surprised if I do:

America in general is a degenerative society at large. Sex workers, promiscuous women, in general since the beginning of time have never ever ever EVER been respected. Every historical text, every hieroglyph, ever religion scrutinizes and punishes women who are sexually promiscuous. It comes to a point where you have to ask yourself why. Why have all these societies since documented time, since cavemen days have looked down on promiscuous women?

Sex work isn’t a respectable thing. It’s even less so for a man to engage in it to the masses because he’s fueling a thing that society already looks down upon from a biological sense. I don’t think it’s because INEQUALITY it’s because a man that has to pay women for sex IS NOT respected a man that can gain sexual access from women not paying is. It’s very unnatural to pay for a biological mating ritual. No other species does it

2022-10-31T19:14:53+00:00

Crying "sexism" at the end is incorrect AND not a solution.

Carloverguy20 · 2022-10-31T21:17:48+00:00

Sex work is still frowned upon, if you are a woman who feels comfortable expressing her sexual side online, you are met with serious disdain especially from puritan types, and the fact that teachers, nurses, mechanics have been fired for doing sex work on the side and feeling comfortable expressing themselves, is a sign that it's not accepted. If you are a mother who feels comfortable expressing her sexual side, she will get stigmatized and berated hard for being a disgraceful, degenerate mother who will ruin her sons lives and should be publicly shamed for feeling confident expressing her sexual side. Sometimes the men who use it, don't really care for the women and that could be an issue at times. In certain countries, it's illegal.

Icy-Wallaby4326 · 2022-10-31T22:49:38+00:00

Maybe the trend is heading towards acceptance of sex work society as a whole is not there yet.

Dragoark · 2022-10-31T23:17:10+00:00

All sex workers should be thrown in jail

doggiedoc2004 · 2022-11-01T00:00:15+00:00

Perhaps in certain liberal social circles but that is not the majority of the country. Women are shamed for sex work. They loose their jobs over only fans accounts (there was a nurse in NY and several teachers.) sex work follows women forever especially if there is a digital record. In person sex work opens them up to STDs, violence and pregnancy. You may see some vocal retarded lib fems on Reddit or twitter saying sex work is work and you will see real feminists supporting women who are in the trade (ie helping them get out and giving them love and support.). Fourth wave and radical feminism (and common sense) see this trade as a net negative for women. (I am a female and used to have libertarian views on this but now that I’m older I know better)

CarHungry · 2022-11-01T01:29:33+00:00

I actually don't think this is true. Look at something like wolf of Wallstreet. Hookers & Blow is still seen as luxurious living in popculture.

meetchloegold · 2022-11-01T01:46:07+00:00

Sorry, what do you mean by facilitating in this case?

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-11-01T05:01:56+00:00

The difference… one did it to capitalize on men’s desperation and to get money, the other is demonstration how desperate you are.

Patrickstarho · 2022-11-01T05:54:29+00:00

I’m on the border of hiring a sex worker. Around spring time I get incredibly lustful. I think this time around I’ll just hire a sex worker and just do that for a couple of months.

I don’t think it’s fair that I go on dates wanting to have sex with women. They are human after all, there’s a connection that should be established, one that is genuine.

I don’t think sex work is as taboo as you think. I know a lot of guys who hire hookers or pay for sex. It is what it is.

christinagoldielocks · 2022-11-01T19:36:03+00:00

It has always been seen as more okay for men to watch porn than for women to do porn.

account_for_norm · 2022-11-05T08:29:16+00:00

Is it? There are movies glorifying hooking up with vegas hookers

Stunning-Survey-9613 · 2022-11-10T11:12:30+00:00

Females want there cake and want to eat it too females love drama and scandal yet don't want to be judged for their dirt and be treated accordingly as a result of their choices it all comes down to most if not all females hate the world accountability and love to blame everyone but the adult sex workers approving their clients for sex..

Plus they judge harder then us men they would be crushed if they found out their crushed gets suck up by gas station crackheads everyday

WolfInTheMiddle · 2022-11-15T14:45:39+00:00

I’m a little late, but I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing that men are not encouraged to be a customer. Sure a lot of men are going to do it anyway, but I think if society pushes a narrative that men should pay to see women naked or fucking a guy that is not them, then more men will be consuming than not, which will result in more incel types.

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