Men who work out - what is your opinion on this article? "I was rejected by a girl. It led me to change my body"

HmanTheChicken · 2023-05-08T23:36:46+00:00

I like the idea of being attractive to women, but really I hate that I was a skinny, shy weak kid growing up. I don’t want to be that and I don’t want my kids to be that. Most of my physique gains have been during my relationship with my fiancée

illegallad · 2023-05-08T23:40:13+00:00

I also went to the gym over a woman, that motivation lasted six months. The discipline has kept me going for 12 years. It’s a habit now and ultimately it has to be.

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-05-08T23:28:50+00:00

how much time do you spend in the gym

I have my workout down to 45 minutes. 2 minutes on the C2. Stretch. Program. 5-10 minutes warm/stretch down. Train Monday to Friday, from 5am-6am, whilst the kids are still sleeping. Weekends and randomly through the week run a 5km. Have owned a home gym too, since my early teens. So the habit is entrenched.

using negative emotions to improve his body wasn’t healthy

Initially it’s okay. Emotions though are fleeting. Negative ones especially. Which is why making training a habit, is far more beneficial.

Godspeed and good luck!

OpticalEpilepsy · 2023-05-08T23:22:32+00:00

He wasn't foolish enough to think his SMV isn't affected by weight/body fat percentage/physique and wasn't complacent enough to settle for the women that don't need their boyfriends to have a nice body

But he's being "pick me" so other people frame it as his loss or demise

thisaccountaintrea1 · 2023-05-08T23:30:05+00:00

This is going to be incredibly nerdy, so strap in, but I do think it illustrates the point I'm trying to make incredibly well. I lift 3 days a week and do cardio/abs/flexibility the other 2 days.

In Star Wars, the character Mace Windu uses a fighting style called "Vaapad", which involves tapping into your negative emotions without letting them consume you. I sorta view my own journey towards self-improvement the same way. Anger and spite can be incredibly useful tools for getting you into the weight room/fighting for that promotion at work/improving in your talents, but you have to make sure you don't let them spill over into the rest of your life.

I wonder how much of her attraction was his gym toned body.

Being fit definitely isn't everything, but the fitter you are, the less heavy lifting (pun intended) your career/personality/status has to do for you to be successful with women.

hehechibby · 2023-05-08T23:25:35+00:00

Roughly 1.5 to 2 hours a day 5-6 times a week

Positive thoughts, I just love working out, hitting small personal strength / size goals.

Really I don't suggest working out just for picking up women without also working on other things like personality, career etc; if not, they're going to be wondering why they still can't find a partner while being 6% BF jacked to the teeth

TurtleDickSlap · 2023-05-09T00:13:57+00:00

The man used the feedback he got from women to make changes to himself so that he got different outcomes.

Shame that more people don't choose this route instead of delusion.

DumbWordsmith · 2023-05-08T23:50:41+00:00

Initially, I was motivated by the bullying I experienced early in high school. After I got bigger (a lot bigger), people stopped messing with me, so I guess bodybuilding served its purpose.

I did bodybuilding from the time I was 17 until my mid-20s. Back then, I spent like seven to ten hours in the gym per week. I'd get depressed if I missed just one workout (thinking I'd lose all my gains), and I forced myself to eat insane amounts of food throughout the day. I had what I would consider to be an unhealthy obsession with size and strength, mostly due to body dysmorphia.

However, about five or so years ago, I developed a short, intense workout routine and started doing intermittent fasting. My goal was to find the sweet spot between longevity, strength, and explosiveness, and to develop a workout I could maintain (and adjust) later in life.

For the last five years or so, I've been doing just four 12-minute HIIT workouts (no rest between exercises or supersets) per week. I do less than 50 minutes of intense exercise per week, but I can't move my limbs for five to ten minutes after I finish a workout. I'm 6'1" and 192 lbs @ a BF% where my abs are clearly visible and my veins are popping out of my arms and legs.

I don't know working out has effected my success with women, because I haven't been out of shape since I was like 16, and I've never been very successful with women.

Based on my experiences, I don't think it's necessarily healthy to be motivated by negative emotions, but I think it's good for guys to get into a routine regardless. Once working out becomes a part of your everyday life, it's pretty much there to stay.

Trazyn_of_Infinity · 2023-05-09T00:20:42+00:00

Despite what certain people who unironically state “personality is everything“ might claim, lifting made me much more physically attractive, even if my face is Chernobyl tier (not great, not terrible). Consequently…

It led to men treating me with a lot more respect and thinking I’m some sort of leader material, etc.

It led to women actually enjoying my company, at the very least, to outright remarking that I look good, and that feels good.

My personality didn’t really change.

Since a lot of men are all about “I don’t want platitudes, I want action plans that will lead to concrete results when it comes to social interactions and dating”, lifting is a literal cheat code.

That said, if steroids or PEDs that increase musculature didn’t absolutely fucking ruin your endocrine system, increase the risk of early death and infertility, etc., I’d take them just because I like being muscular. Muscularity feels nice, and it looks nice. What’s not to love?

I spend 8-10 hours a week in the gym because I like to bodybuild. That said, I only started learning how to actually bodybuild with proper workout routine (that isn’t me just half-assing it like some dumb powerlifter) in the past 8 months, so I have a lot to work on. Dumbbells and unilateral exercises are the GOAT.

But your question probably is: “Are women lusting after you?” The answer is: no. If I wanted to get to the point where my mere presence turns heads, I’d have to take steroids, and I’m not willing to.

HTML_Novice · 2023-05-09T00:12:58+00:00

I lift 1.5 hrs 6 days a week usually, I lifted to look hot, I’m now absolutely jacked but women only kind of like it. Mostly older women like it but I’m not that into them. Younger girls don’t give a shit about my body. I mostly lift out of habit now

Royal-Tip4585 · 2023-05-09T00:05:56+00:00

Bullying works. Good job gals

greenengg · 2023-05-09T01:06:45+00:00

1.5 hours a day, 6 days a week. A have a chip on my shoulder from a few years ago when my ex broke up with me, it fueled me to change my entire life. Is it healthy? Who knows? Did I get healthy physically and emotionally? Yes.

bison5595 · 2023-05-09T06:59:42+00:00

He did what he had to do. Women didn’t what he looked like, so he changed it to attract women. If you don’t like your results, you have to do something about it

Traditional-Bad-4055 · 2023-05-08T23:35:15+00:00

3-4x a week. Positive thoughts. It’s become a social activity to some degree as I consistently workout with some friends

slazengerx · 2023-05-08T23:46:28+00:00

I play tennis ~10 hours a week. The gym is too boring for me. My motivation is purely long-term health and fitness. I have no opinion on the article; I can't really relate.

Capybara_88 · 2023-05-08T23:54:03+00:00

I do full body three days a week. I have a home gym. I also do kickboxing for cardio twice a week in a group class. That’s mostly to get out after work since I work from home. I did it half because I enjoy it and half because I figured it would help with dating. It has helped a decent amount with dating, but now I am more 90% for myself and fun, then 10% for dating.

I’d recommend having some goals other then women while working out. It is a lifestyle change so if you have many goals and enjoy the process that will help it stick. Some guys will say they don’t do it at all for women, but that’s usually a lie.

KayRay1994 · 2023-05-09T00:19:51+00:00

This was my motivation to start working out, a girl i liked didn’t have feelings for me and i hated myself for it - so i went for it at the gym - it works as initial motivation, sometimes just enough to start building the habit, but it also entirely depends on if you keep the momentum long enough to make it a habit and start doing it for yourself, i tend to get obsessive (for better and for worse), so this kinda served me for the better. I first went from obese to skinny, then from skinny to strong, then strong to fat cuz of lockdown, and now i maintain a solid 220lbs at 5’10, with my splits being 445 DL, 350 squat and 270 bench (i work out for 1.5hrs-2hrs for 4-5 days a week) - i found a passionate love for lifting out of my own volition, but also wouldn’t have even gotten started if not for that rejection.

That being said, as huge of a help the gym has been - it was not enough, my sense of self has always been shit, even after working out, so i decided to get some mental health support. In 2022 I saw more success with dating than I have the previous years prior, and in 2023 i managed to build that up to another level - so yes, the gym helps a lot, but don’t expect it to be a fix all solution. Sometimes if you have more going against you, you have to put on a lot more work (especially if you’re heavily ND, such as myself), but the work does pay off

noafrochamplusamurai · 2023-05-09T00:50:05+00:00

I've fallen off my regular workout cycle because sometimes life just is that way. I had a job I didn't like, then switched to another one that has a higher demand and expectations, so I've been adjusting over the past 7 months, but I'm going to get back on my regular schedule. I used to run an advanced PPL split back to back. So I only had one rest day per week, My warmup on the PP days was always leg exercises, so basically everyday was leg day.

I never lifted for the primary purpose of getting attention from women. I lifted in HS, because I played sports, and I'm hyper competitive. I had kids fairly young, 2 of them by the time I 23 yrs old. Something about being a dad freaked me out in a way that triggered the reptilian part of my brain. I was scared that my kids would die if SIDS. It was so presient that it formed an inexplicable sense, I could be in a REM sleep, and somehow hear or detect a breathing pattern difference that would wake me up. Even if we were on different floors( this never went away, I still have the sense with my adult children) I was also afraid of house fires, I saw one once when I was a kid, and the dad saved his kids by jumping out of 2nd story window onto a mattress. So my strength goal was to always be able to carry the dead weight of my entire family in case of a fire. Then as my kids got older, and started playing sports, I had to stay in shape. We're very competitive, and I don't let them win in any physical contest. It started getting close because they're freak athletes. My oldest daughter had to lift with the football team because the other girls couldn't keep up. She was squatting 275, too close for my comfort so I had to keep lifting. Now my son plays multiple sports and just started to increase his weightlifting. So here I am, still lifting, and stating fit, I'm not an easy out. So if my kids wanna beat me in something, they gotta earn it. I'm happy to say I'm undefeated, but it's getting close. Just raced my son, and he was closer than I'd like. He's fast, he qualified for the conference, and regional track meets for his age, but I refuse to lose. So I'll drop 20-25 lbs and keep my title .

Ohyarlysmiles · 2023-05-09T00:43:59+00:00

I used to spend 5 days a week at the gym. I was diced out of my mind.

Truly a golden age.

Then covid hit and I haven't yet been back.

But if the quality of my matches dips enough...and it's headed south...I'll be back soon enough lol

The motivation is neither positive or negative.

Just pragmatic. If you want x result you (I) have to do y

Barely-moral · 2023-05-09T01:08:34+00:00

I work out 1,5 to 2 hours 3 to 4 times a week. Negative to neutral toughts.

It is just the price to pay if I want to get and keep a LTR.

The same applies to pretty much anything that is not videogames and avoiding people IRL. Just the price to pay if I want to get and keep a LTR.

How is it turning out.

Fine. I have a stable LTR which is better than being an incel.

Zabadoodude · 2023-05-09T04:43:13+00:00

I go to the gym a few times a week. It's just something I need to do to stay healthy and attractive. It's no different than shaving, or showering.

When I was single my biggest motivation was attracting women. Now it's to make sure my girlfriend stays attracted to me.

SteveSan82 · 2023-05-09T05:40:30+00:00

I still got women while fat but I knew game already. Of course the quality of women went up after working out.

When I was 103kg a woman commented how my boobs were bigger than hers. That motivated me to slim down more

You should workout for yourself but if women is a motivator then it’s better than nothing

roger61962 · 2023-05-09T06:28:51+00:00

My then buddy was 80 . Absolute fit. Dream body. A 22yo at his side.

I am 60. A 25yo 10/10 at my side.

At the moment i am bulking.

Guess what?

Sex frequency is down...

Det_Steve_Sloan · 2023-05-09T08:27:44+00:00

It's a game changer. Especially if you flaunt it with tight clothing. They just behave differently, big time. Once you experience this stark difference in behavior, you'll never ever be able to cope with being skinny again.

bread93096 · 2023-05-09T01:14:08+00:00

I’ve been working out consistently for years, and I don’t do it to spite anyone or because I’m angry. I’ve just gotten used to how my body looks and feels when I’m fit and get very uncomfortable if I start to slip out of shape. More than looks, I just enjoy feeling the strength and power in my body. I’d tend to agree that spite and grief are poor motivators for long term fitness success, but it’s a better outlet than alcohol or video games, that’s for sure.

I did get picked on as a kid for being small and weak, so I suppose that is a part of it in a more subconscious way. I like to feel physically powerful and autonomous, and I do enjoy the fact that I’m now the ‘bigger stronger’ one compared to most other men.

girlbrain_unlocked · 2023-05-09T01:47:22+00:00

Not the same, but similar. I got diagnosed with a shitty life long neurological disorder. I hated being so reliant on meds so I tried to improve my heath (I was already moderately healthy) every way I could, to try and combat the symptoms as much as possible - went keto, started going to the gym properly, started regular sauna and cold plunges, etc. While it was a bad situation, similar to rejection, it can sometimes be a blessing, shifting your life course, and moving you in the right direction for life.

PM_ME_ZED_BARA · 2023-05-09T02:32:14+00:00

I work out 2-4 times a week, 1.5-2 hours each time.

I started working out because I didn’t like my body. I also wanted to be more attractive and able to get more attractive sexual partners.

At some point, I no longer dislike my body, but I continue to work out. Gym is like therapy at this point. Being strong and healthy feels great. As Socrates allegedly said “It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”

But yes, I end up in a long term relationship when I no longer dislike my body. I had little difficulty finding casual sex before that. But when I gain the confidence, I notice I am much more sociable and much less irritable. My friends tell me I look happier.

jackedsoon · 2023-05-09T03:09:53+00:00

about 1 hr-1hr 15 mins. im motivated by gains/how good ill look. partially for selfconfidence, partially for women.

reddishrobin · 2023-05-09T03:15:16+00:00

Men, how much time do you spend in the gym and are you motivated by positive or negative thoughts? How's it turning out for you?

Maybe 1-1.5 hrs for 4 days in a week. Honestly I don't do as much as I used to do, but I only do compound lifts but some auxillaries for strength, which fits my current work schedule, as I hit the 1000lb club recently.

I am strictly motivated by negative thoughts. Positive thoughts make me feel absolutely cringe and I lose all motivation. I initially went to the gym to attract girls back in highschool, but now I go so I can give myself a challenge and keep my suicidal thoughts at bay. My dream to get a girlfriend never came to fruition, but I ended up gaining something else instead.

RedPill115 · 2023-05-09T03:28:31+00:00

I decided to try working out via online stuff. There was something a little off about my leg.

Doing heavy workouts - I managed to make it much worse and fuck my leg up much worse.

I'll tell you, a girls attraction to you take a nosedive when you stand up to walk over and kinda hobble over.

I'd have to write a whole page to describe how awful most online fitness advice is - only place worse for advice than political subs are fitness subs.

Worldly_Piano9526 · 2023-05-09T03:33:02+00:00

Men, how much time do you spend in the gym

5 days a week

are you motivated by positive or negative thoughts?

A mix of both

How's it turning out for you?

Turning out great!

BigGaynk · 2023-05-09T05:45:48+00:00

While there is plenty of dudes who go to the gym because they think it will help them get a girl and hey sometimes it does sometimes it really happens, I just go for myself, about 10 ish hours a week or less.

Jazzlike_Worth_9908 · 2023-05-09T05:59:25+00:00

I go hard for 2-3 months a year, get a nice body then im lazy and let it decline until i dont feel sexy enough.

Results are amazing (doing mostly callistenic as a 6ft guys)

MasterTeacher123 · 2023-05-09T09:11:23+00:00

I don’t know any dude who is frequent at the gyms or works out seriously who doesn’t get pussy. It’s like a cheat code

BackAgain12345678910 · 2023-05-09T09:36:44+00:00

I started lifting cuz of a woman. That was 15 years and 40 lbs of muscle ago

cthulufunk · 2023-05-09T13:39:36+00:00

The why’s don’t matter, only the doing.

ResurrectedDrama · 2023-05-09T13:51:15+00:00

I appreciate fellow men getting better, but improving for just a random whore's rejection is not the way.

The motivation must be internal.

Workaholiconew · 2023-05-09T13:53:45+00:00

Men, how much time do you spend in the gym

17 years.

and are you motivated by positive or negative thoughts?

Both. Revenge is useful in the short term, but I would say that sexual satisfaction is a way better motivator long term...

But as long as you keep on moving forwards it doesnt matter.

How's it turning out for you?

Fine I got a lot of things done with my life and I am where I wanted to be.

In the article Nick said that using negative emotions to improve his body wasn't healthy.

... you understand that just seems like a story where a guy let his true self show and they just lie in order to keep it hidden and use it in order to obtain better results right?

Hiding who you are is what men need to do if they want long term success.

NangKwak51 · 2023-05-09T16:17:59+00:00

I just started working out 6 months ago. I had to push through the barrier of discomfort and fatigue and maintain faith in the logic of weightlifting, since my gains are super-slow due to a weak thyroid.

My motivation is better health and a longer life. I couldn't have stuck with it if it was anger-driven. I have a trek in Bhutan that I want to do and that's my goal, not to meet women. Bhutan is for me and will never let me down. Women? All over the map.

I'm not qualified to talk about endorphins etc., but I def noticed a stronger sense of wellbeing, even in the first session. I still have a gut, but improved posture hides it a bit better.

A lot of that's guy's anger fading is prob more bio-chemical than inspirational.

LingonberryGood3915 · 2023-05-09T16:59:26+00:00

men who work out only to get women wont ever develop good bodies. men who successfully develop good bodies do it to feel and look more masculine, dominant and in charge, not just to get women.

anyway, BP is bullshit, and he either got lucky or likely got the LTR because he was more secure and acted more masculine and dominant because of an improved self image.

that being said, it doesnt matter what motovates a man. an outcome is an outcome. how that was achieved doesnt mattter,

Environmental_Day558 · 2023-05-09T00:00:38+00:00

Ngl I rarely go to the gym anymore, about once a week at this point. I'm like 5'10 180ish with a dad bod. I used to work out regularly when I was in the military and had a six pack in 2020. I was more motivated by necessity. Failing too many PT tests = career done. Plus being attractive to women was a plus and I liked the compliments. Not having to do that anymore plus being settled down to a person that thinks my belly is cute killed any motivation to work out. I do want to get back in excellent shape again but when i tend to hit it heavy then slow down in waves. I need that motivator to stay consistent again.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2023-05-09T00:02:45+00:00

Believe it or not, something like this is the straw that breaks the camel's back to get a lot of men to change their physical appearance. Granted you should be doing it for yourself and not for a woman, it does give you motivation that when a girl rejects you and you do a complete 180 she will notice and want to take interest, but by then you will probably have more women interested and reject the one who rejected you.

ROBYoutube · 2023-05-08T23:58:31+00:00

I used to be a boxer with a shredded physique. Women found that attractive. Now I'm a middle aged fatso and women still find me extremely attractive. Gym helps, especially if you haven't got much else to offer. But it's importance in getting laid is actually tiny when you become confident.

Barneysparky · 2023-05-09T00:18:22+00:00

The new Survivor season has an interesting cast member regarding this. He's a good-looking kid, I think 19. He said before he auditioned for Survivor he was a skinny geek and he's gained about 40 pounds working out in anticipation. He also made 3d models of all the challenge puzzles, he took this challenge seriously.

He did it for Survivor, but something tells me this geeky kid will be getting a ton of fan mail.

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Rahim556 · 2023-05-09T00:53:59+00:00

Firstly, I think everyone needs something to motivate them. Your motivation can come from a variety of things such as past experiences, future goals, etc. I'm not gonna say doing it from a negative experience is unhealthy, because that frame of mind he had was likely temporary, but the positive habits will (hopefully) stay. Whatever he needs to do to get his fitness in order is ultimately good, no matter where the motivation came from.

As far as me, I'm in the gym 7 days a week. It's the first thing I do in the morning usually around 5:00 am. I lift 5 days a week and do cardio twice a week. Occasionally I'll take a break, maybe once every two or three weeks I'll take a day off completely. This consistency has a lot to do with the fact that I'm a creature of habit though. I can rarely do something "just a little bit," whether good or bad. This can be a horrible trait when it's something negative (like former drug addiction) or a good trait when it's something positive (like fitness). But yeah, I'm either all the way in or all the way out no matter what it is.

happy_discus · 2023-05-09T07:24:00+00:00

I only work out since January but I want to chime in anyway since I have noticed a few things. Working out will make you inherently more attractive. Even if you didn't make many gains. Muscles are attractive! Stop trying to pretend otherwise.

A small anecdotal evidence to support my claim. A acquaintance of mine is going to the gym for close to 7 years hes build like a professional bodybuilder. Hes 5'2 hes honestly tiny compared to me. But he has women swarming towards him. I notice this with all of my acquaintances that are very muscular. If you are tall too you almost will drown in women. Their personality only matters if they want a relationship and even then its mostly irrelevant since the halo effect exists.

So join the fking gym and work out.

Snowbattt · 2023-05-09T09:56:06+00:00

I work out (full body lifting 2x a week + 1x per week of rock climbing) and gained muscle mass because I hated seeing the scrawny 65 kilo weakling in the mirror and I got sick of it.

I don't work out to please the ladies. I do so to feel better in my own skin, but it definitely helped attract women though. There's no denying that. The confidence I gained might gave played a part.

Preact5 · 2023-05-09T11:03:29+00:00

I'm not a good person to ask I'll hate myself no matter how good I look.

Ohmaygahh · 2023-05-09T14:27:02+00:00

Yes. I too embarked on my physical development journey to help me attract more/sexier women after having been rejected hundreds of times in my late teens-mid 20s.

Men, how much time do you spend in the gym and are you motivated by positive or negative thoughts? How's it turning out for you?

I am now well past the midpoint of my life, probably in the tail end of my "prime" sexual career. I try for at least 5 hours of gym time per week. At least. And no juicy (no Clen, Tren, HGH, Anabolics, no enhancers. ) I do it to be on top of my game as a natural. To be healthy. To be happy. But it does upset me that women with giant fucking foopas think they have a chance with me. And it saddens me that the attractive, non foopa having women have switched to openly fucking the trainers/younger gym rats.

In my view, the anger, the sadness, the tired of being fedupness, the rage of ... cosmic injustice can be used to spur great change. But it isn't a great long lasting fuel. It dissipates. It fades. You realize that with all the talk about the "wall" (an oft discussed great sexual decline women experience as they get older), women will always have greater, and infinitely more, opportunities to have sex with men they desire vs. a similarly ranked (a true equal) man.

That man will have drastically fewer opportunities to have sex with the women he most desires. That is life.

NefariousnessMost660 · 2023-05-09T17:03:31+00:00

I don't go to the gym, I just do pushups and dumbbell curls at home for 10 minutes each day, even when I'm on vacation. So far, I've making decent progress. My arms have gotten pretty thick, and my beer belly has shrunk.

People who say they don't have time to work out are just making excuses. As long as you are pushing yourself to your limits, you don't need to spend any more than an hour at the gym.

Mindless-Service8198 · 2023-05-09T17:27:10+00:00

I'm going to expand on this - I was 300lbs 6'1", obese. I was able to still date far out of my league looks-wise. I would still be discarded in heartless ways. I internalized that negativity and got fit, I'm 205lbs and pretty lean now.

There are a few important things to note:

Getting an attractive body isn't a silver bullet. You still need to have charm - it isn't "pass-go collect $200"... sometimes, not all the time.
The difference on how women treat me is so different; it's absurd. It's hard not to resent them... I've had to be extremely mindful not to be angry and not be a total fuckboi in the past to "get back at them"
The fitness transformation changed into a more positive thing just to keep my mind right and focused on the financial aspects of my life. It started to be negatively driven and it would be a factor causing burnout.

Overall, it's been a great thing despite it starting negatively. I like the fact that I used to be obese, it gives me a better perspective of how to treat people. It also gives me good insight into people who are kind in character.

I'm in a more fitness mode in Spring Summer, so I go 4x week weightlifting and long-form cardio daily. Winters I work on my business projects, do a 6 day P/P/L split in the winter and accept some bulking

Emergency-Honeydew35 · 2023-05-09T17:31:23+00:00

You start off doing it for the ladies but then it naturally evolves into self hate 😇

Redditcritic6666 · 2023-05-09T18:58:49+00:00

The poetic irony is this:

Men wants a women with a nice body, so it stands to reason that if you want a women with a nice body, you should also get a nice body yourself.

Most Redpill would agree with this statement. Most Bluepill would rather sidestep this line of thinking by saying looks doesn't matter, or the guy should lower his standards by getting women that doesn't have a nice body. The irony is that both women and men knows that physical attraction is a powerful tool, but only men sees the connection between physical attraction and actually working out in the gym. Also it's the women/bluepill side that falls for the fatshaming narriative.

Men, how much time do you spend in the gym and are you motivated by positive or negative thoughts? How's it turning out for you?

Precovid once a week. The problem here is that if you believe that purely working out will get you girls, then you'll be discouraged from working out if you don't see results (not getting girl's attention). The key here is to link motivation with results and my results is to just see how much I can do and maintaining my ideal weight.

Finally abs are made not in the gym but in the kitchen. I'm willing to cut calories and starve myself as well as working out.

Nate_Reborn · 2023-05-09T19:26:42+00:00

At least for me, it of course started with motivation.

I lived most of my life very overweight, and I wanted to fell confident in my skin for once. The women part obviously played a part. It was apart of my initial motivation, but that faded quickly.

After 90+ days in, you really begin to face the true reasons why you're in the gym. Yes, looking good is a plus. However, I've also learned that it does loads for my mental health/self confidence.

It also helps you build character. Getting up early, eating leaner foods, facing the dread of long workouts... all of it builds you up. There's been so many days I've cried out of pure frustration in many areas of my life while in the gym. It's a very unique form of therapy as well.

Like most things though, there's a limit. It doesn't solve any problem (like women, confidence, etc). It's just one of those little good things you add into your life to make you a better person overall, which ironically feeds everything else positive in your life.

AllStickNoCarrot · 2023-05-09T19:27:14+00:00

The writer mostly sums up my own opinion with these lines:

Training taught me a curiosity that transcended the gym, and I began to learn about and celebrate my flaws after being diagnosed with ADHD and mild OCD. It taught me compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness. I learned I didn’t have to apologise for taking up space in the world, and most importantly that I am enough.

It sounds like his journey to get his physical health in order ended up helping him get some of his mental health sorted out too. Both are important for every individual, and managing both is a desirable skill in any partner.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2023-05-09T19:38:13+00:00

Men, how much time do you spend in the gym and are you motivated by positive or negative thoughts?

About an hour working out every day. Weights 3-4 times a week.

When I'm lifting I'm only thinking about getting stronger and competing with myself from the last workout.

How's it turning out for you?

Fantastic. I love working out and being fit. The workouts are therapeutic and meditative. I like going to the doctor's and being told I'm in perfect health.

Also, obviously, this has helped a lot with my attractiveness with women. So much that I simply cannot take it seriously when a man's looks are downplayed or said they don't even matter. Even though this is not in my mind when I'm in the gym, it does motivate me to continue with my fitness routine and get myself to the gym when I'm not feeling it.

Red Pill has a lot of bad and questionable content, but one of the things it absolutely nails is that a man should lift weights.

It's not just because it changes body composition to something that most women prefer. It's also because it's a goal that can be pursued that has quantitative goals and provides linear positive results (at least at first).

Changing behaviors, the way you talk and act, to be more attractive to women is hard, because you don't really know how well you're doing until you get second and third dates or get ghosted. Then you don't know what it was you did well or poorly. You start to pick up signals after a while, but still women can have great poker faces and not give much feedback in the moment. It seems inscrutable at first and it's frustrating. It only comes together after a long time feeling lost.

So having quantitative measurements of progress is great to stay motivated. I can lift this many pounds. I weigh this much. My body fat is this percentage.

Speaking of losing/maintaining weight, that's another one that is "easy" because it's quantitative. At least you know where you're at. It's actually hard as hell for me at 40 years old and I plan almost every meal in advance, almost never eat as much as I'd like to, and only cheat on my diet on vacation. My relationship with food is completely different on a day to day basis.

Lots of people will say I sound miserable or I have body dysmorphia (maybe I do, ha, I don't know) but I like having a standout physique and the advantages it has more than I like the pleasure of eating more.

My goal is not just to have the most romantic options as possible, but to be happy. This combination of feeling strong, being fit, being healthy, and being more attractive makes me happy. It's not for everyone, but it is for me.

the_calibre_cat · 2023-05-09T19:59:34+00:00

I wonder how much of her attraction was his gym toned body.

or his commitment to self-improvement, probably a bit of both, which is okay.

realistically? ten years ago i would've said 90% to pull bitches, 10% for health. now i'm ten years older, and it's probably 40% to pull women, 60% i don't want to be a dead bag of sadness in twenty years.

cel-shaded · 2023-05-09T20:04:30+00:00

Just above 1h, 4-5 times a week plus cycling and the occasional bouldering. I also used to attend kickboxing glasses. I'm not sure if it helps my mood. I like cycling out of the city and climbing is fun, so yeah, that's nice but the weightlifting feels unrewarding even if i increase the reps or weight every time (i.e. make progress). I only still do it because i feel like i have to and feel ashamed / lazy if i don't.

At the end of the day i still go to bed depressed.

Title	Men who work out - what is your opinion on this article? "I was rejected by a girl. It led me to change my body"
Author	reddishrobin
Upvotes	45
Comments	185
Date	May 8, 2023 11:17 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/13c8b70/men_who_work_out_what_is_your_opinion_on_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-who-work-out-what-is-your-opinion-on-this.1218723 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218723

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