CMV: Men don't want older career women because they're insecure and intimidated

bfrateguess · 2023-06-24T18:02:36+00:00

It could just be that younger people are better looking.

What does career woman even mean? A woman with a career is normal now

AnonJetlag · 2023-06-24T18:05:33+00:00

Very wrong use of the word intimidated here. I’m intimidated by a bear or a wolf

Intimidated by a career woman? No, I can talk back and call her out on her bullshit. The reason men won’t want career women is cause they’re honestly annoyingly masculine, to the point where they won’t let you lead in the relationship and constantly want to argue with you over small shit

Also is the career woman gonna be there to look after my kids? She’d rather slave away for a boss

There’s not much attractive about a “cArEeR wOMan”, they love to claim that they don’t need me as well and why would I be with a woman who doesn’t need me

Guilty-Instruction60 · 2023-06-24T18:27:37+00:00

Men like beautiful younger women, you know it we know it. Stop lying to yourself.

Pale-Fish-8599 · 2023-06-24T18:05:03+00:00

Women find wisdom, experience, and a strong sense of self attractive in men. It doesn't work the other way around because men are not women and women are not men.

the-lone-squid · 2023-06-24T18:32:11+00:00

No one is intimated by some chubby bossy office dweller with an attitude.

This is just something people with shitty personalities tell themselves to try and explain why they are single and lonely

sexualdeskfan · 2023-06-24T18:38:16+00:00

Men don’t want older career women because they don’t care about your career and your advanced age is a negative.

Men would rather date a younger more attractive secretary than an older less attractive lawyer. You can tell yourself that that’s because men are insecure if it makes you feel better but the reality is that the older woman with a career just has less of what a man values in a partner.

Cactus2711 · 2023-06-24T18:20:29+00:00

Have heard this take countless times, by now it’s just lazy and shows a complete lack of self awareness. Women are attracted to confidence, leadership, intelligence and strength in men. So to attract a woman I need to improve all those areas of my life. Men are attracted to youth, beauty, femininity, agreeableness in women. The vast majority of ‘career women’ are none of the above. It’s not a matter of being intimidated, it’s a lack of attraction.

John_Oakman · 2023-06-24T19:07:48+00:00

If a male has nothing relevant to offer to such a wise and mature woman, why should he even bother to try in the first place instead of going somewhere else where he can be of some use?

Helpful-Towel857 · 2023-06-24T20:15:57+00:00

The dating experiences I've had with "career" women were almost never positive. I found most of these women to be arrogant, rigid, and very materialistic. The juice ain't worth the squeeze.

ZeeMark17 · 2023-06-24T18:28:56+00:00

Or, men and women are different and are attracted to different things in each other.

If men and women looked for the same things in each other no one would partner up. There are things that have to be different. i.e. if both men and women looked for a tall partner, no one would partner up with each other because someone has to be shorter than the other.

On the matter of career women, what qualities does a career person have that attracts the opposite person? Normally a career-oriented person knows how to make money, thus can provide for the family. Men are not looking at women for financial provision. Does this mean men will not date these women? No, just that it is not the primary need that men want from a woman. Also, most women are not going on dates looking for men that they can take care off financially.

Most men are career-oriented so that they can provide for the family. A lot of women are career-oriented so that they can leave a bad relationship. Exhibit A from your OP > " Career women don't need to rely on men for anything because they have competence and financial independence. So that lever of influence is not available to men. " <

2023-06-24T19:40:46+00:00

No, it’s because older women aren’t as attractive

keenenandraz · 2023-06-24T20:42:14+00:00

I always find it weird how when talking about why men should date older career focused women, it always turns into a list of what these women won't do for men, how they don't need men, and a bunch of other masculine things like how they make money and are basically men themselves. How is any of this attractive to men? A woman who doesn't listen, brags about not needing her man and leads with her career and how much money she makes does not sound like a catch.

How many times do men have to say point blank that they like fit, feminine, and cooperative women before women believe it? This is the equivalent of a guy making a post saying "women have to like short, fat, and broke men or their unsecure."

Barneysparky · 2023-06-24T21:29:51+00:00

Attractive career women are wanted by men. I don't understand the premise.

Are they wanted by young men just starting out in the dating world? Of course not, they are not at all in the same life stage.

tarred_and_feathered · 2023-06-24T22:40:37+00:00

This is coming from a 37 year old "career woman" in the mid to high 6 figures range, though I would say that I probably don't fit the stereotype some referenced here? I'm considered very attractive by most men. I work out 3 to 5 times a week. I know I look younger than my age. I appear very feminine physically, and I have a nurturing, sweet, and caring personality.

Me being a "career woman" DOES cause issues early on in dating sometimes. I don't go into a date waving my money. In fact, from the outside, I look like middle class since I'm not materialistic, but some aspects of my life usually give away that I am financially independent.

There are those men who notice and immediately expect a boss b*tch, shutting me down before I get a chance to say that, in a romantic relationship, I'm actually quite submissive and want my partner to lead at times so I can catch a break from killing it in my professional life.

Some men take issue with me paying for the nicer things in life that I want to enjoy (and share with him) that his salary simply can't afford.

Then there are "career men", and those are often the biggest clash. While I'm self-employed and quite flexible with my time, I am only willing to adjust my life to his career needs to a certain degree. I'm blessed to have a job that I actually enjoy and that gives me so much emotionally and mentally, it's not something I want to strangle for someone else's career.

Occasionally, men tell me about their high-paying jobs, then quickly falter when they notice that I'm more interested to see if they can offer trust, respect, and open and honest communication.

And yes, my "unattainable" standards have been thrown around, but only once.

Generally, I started to avoid talking too much about my job. I just shrug and say "I'm a writer". Makes it sound more like a hobby. 😄

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-06-24T18:36:12+00:00

Older career women have more experience, thus also more baggage, on average. Older career women are less physically attractive on average. Older career women are more likely to be more competitive and create unnecessary conflict in the household. Older career women are more likely to want to work and let your children be raised by complete strangers, that don't have any horse in the race and will do the bare minimum possible, and might also abuse your kids. There are many reasons men don't want older career women, these are some of those reasons. But sure, I guess, let's call these guys insecure and intimidated. The reality is that noone really cares about being called insecure and intimidated or any shaming language. People want what they want and they will try to get what they want. Someone can shame me as much as they want for preferring chocolate ice cream over vanilla, but I am still getting chocolate ice cream, it just tastes way better.

Tricky_Relief_7152 · 2023-06-24T18:50:52+00:00

A lot of older career women mistake "exasperated" for "intimidated".

Frankly, an older career woman cannot offer me anything I want. I don't enjoy the idea of trying to build a relationship with someone who has a track record of choosing her career over her husband. I don't enjoy the idea of giving my best years to a woman who gave hers to her career. I don't enjoy the idea of sharing a home with a woman who can't help but see men as competition instead of partners. I don't enjoy the idea of taking my time, money, attention, and energy and giving it to a - frankly - used up woman when I could more easily give it to a young woman in her mid to late 20s and get a far better outcome.

We aren't "intimidated" by career women. We just don't want them because we have better options.

harmonica2 · 2023-06-24T19:17:17+00:00

I would say younger women are more of a challenge to get than older women, and younger women would be more intimidating therefore but that's just me.

My gf is younger than me and there is an age gap, and I've heard the whole, ' I went for her because I am intimated by women my own age, before." It's ridiculous.

Fearless_Method_1682 · 2023-06-24T18:10:06+00:00

>because they have wisdom, experience, and a strong sense of self

That's what they say, but maybe they're just jaded, narcissistic and look down on men who haven't had more success then them.

his_purple_majesty · 2023-06-24T18:39:24+00:00

Career in what?

Weak, insecure men who want an easy way to influence (control) their relationship understand these two levers aren't available.

This sounds deranged. You've been spending too much time in whatever the female equivalent of an incel space is.

Over_North8884 · 2023-06-24T21:19:43+00:00

Males seeking younger but legal women are "predatory".

Males seeking submissive women are "controlling".

Males seeking slender women are "disrespectful".

Males seeking foreign women are "inedequate".

Males seeking traditional gender roles are "sexist".

Males ignoring partner education, career, and income are "insecure".

But remember, women can have whatever "standards" they want. Men can't, that's misogynistic.

BioNipple · 2023-06-24T19:15:14+00:00

I am dating an older career woman. I don't feel insecure at all.

But I am also a boomer trapped inside a young body so we see eye to eye on many things.

rhagaeas_executioner · 2023-06-24T22:33:38+00:00

I'd love me a go-getter sugar momma 🥰. But I'm not interested in older women because they're wrinkly and gross lol.

harmonica2 · 2023-06-25T01:47:32+00:00

Well I am dating someone who is younger than me and there is an age gap but how often does that happen with people intentionally boycotting people their own age compared to just meeting someone accidentally through happenstance?

raldabos · 2023-06-25T08:39:31+00:00

What men want in women is not the same thing than women want in men. A women career's is not important for me, nor her social status, nor if she has power or anything like that. We simply don't care for the same things women care in men. We just want women who make our life easy emotionally, because life is already difficult enough for men. Everything else is a nice-to-have but not a deal-breaker, unlike it is for women.

wtknight · 2023-06-24T18:11:43+00:00

Older career women are more difficult to attract. They are pickier and it's more difficult to satisfy their hypergamous requirements since these women are established. Lesser men would gladly have sex with older career women if these women were actually satisfied with these men.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-06-24T18:51:46+00:00

Most older career women are dating or married....

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2023-06-24T19:34:28+00:00

Men don't want older career women because they are older and exhibit masculine traits.

throwawayVishot · 2023-06-24T18:13:14+00:00

These two facts leave men in a state of insecurity when they encounter a strong minded, successful career women their same age.

Women over 30 are invisible to me. I can't tell you what they look like. Hot thots excluded obviously.

Older women don't have anything that most men want. That is they are not hot or fun to be around.

Weak, insecure men who want an easy way to influence (control) their relationship understand these two levers aren't available. They then worry they would not have what it takes to contend with an equal As a result they feel they've lost what they were entitled to as their birthright as a male. Rather than deal with that uncomfortable fact they lash out and suggest try to shame older women and career women.

As an insecure man the last thing I want is an equal. I want a woman that will stroke my ego and tell me that I'm awesome. My wife unit tells me this everyday.

Look, listen, and take heed! https://youtu.be/hkDIsDdlp6A

Why do women think that men want equals? Biggest turn off ever.

Safinated · 2023-06-24T20:14:09+00:00

Men use the looks excuse because it’s easy, allows them to give up, and is also partly true.

And then get upset when we call them out for being shallow. What a pity, a kerfuffle of their own making

banned4tellindtruth · 2023-06-24T20:37:10+00:00

The idea that men and women are exactly the same, especially when it comes to sexual preferences, is a major cancer in society. This dumb idea is constantly pushed nowadays and creates women who think that men should be attracted to them because they're successful career women who are abrasive and confident, and men who think that if they're incels because of their canthal tilt, narrow wrists, or lack of hunter eyes.

Basically people who want partners have to deal with reality and not the stupid propaganda that gets pushed by mainstream society nowadays. Women aren't going to attract men by trying to be the kind of man they're attracted to, because most heterosexual men aren't attracted to masculine characteristics. And men aren't going to attract women by being the kind of woman that they're attracted to, because most heterosexual women aren't attracted to feminine characteristics in a man.

StupidWhiteBoi · 2023-06-24T21:09:03+00:00

[CYV]

Stop this meme already! It's not intimidation or insecurity, it's annoyance. Some American college educated/career women unfortunately are vain, materialistic, snobby, love to quarrel/bicker, and are callous. Just stop being rude and as Aussies' like to say, "Don't be a ****, mate!"

You're career is for you, since most wages haven't increased for Millennials as it did for Boomers in years, we all have to work. We all know women don't have the mindset of supporting men, since it's not in their DNA.

I come from college a college educated family. Half the women in my family have masters, even my grandmother born in the 30's was able to go back and get her bachelors and masters in the late 90's as a teacher. I'm surrounded around and work with college students, advisers, and professors. And one of my mentors has a company that helps get students internships and jobs at F500 companies. I deal with college graduates on a routine bases, her career is important for her and not going to help me, since most women (95%) wants a man that makes just as much or more than her.

Education is important, but her character matters more. If you're a doctor and you're funny, sweet, and smart! Great!

If you're a lawyer, but you're rude, always starting drama, and gossiping. Not Great!

Some American women have this sense of entitlement unlike their European, Asian, or African counterparts that thinks she's her ish doesn't stink just because she has a good job that pay wells.

Also women don't need wisdom to not to mess with bad boys, they know their bad, that's why they go after them. Women know how to set boundaries when it comes to men they don't like, (e.g Ethan Klein), but they let bad boys have their fun, because tingles.

Women know how to set standards and boundaries at any age, it's just that you and lot of Bluepillers don't really want to until you get tired of being and pumped, which is great, since it's better late than never, but women have done and can set boundaries at any time, some of you blues choose not it!

No_Paramedic_3322 · 2023-06-24T18:35:30+00:00

I think it’s pretty simple that every woman who is a wife will get married. Every woman who isn’t married by a certain age it’s for a reason. Maybe she didn’t want to get married, maybe she’s a bad person, maybe she spent her youth having too much fun or focusing on her career. All these things and more keep women single. A man isn’t avoiding them because he’s intimidated he’s avoiding them because there is a specific window he’s shooting for and she’s beyond it. Yeah she’s experienced but that experience is with multiple failed relationships so her experience is worthless because all it’s gonna do is make her more combative and set in her ways. A man wants cooperation and dependence, if you don’t need me and always flaunt that you can leave whenever you want then why do I want you around? As a man I would want to be wanted and relied upon but if you’re miss independent who doesn’t need me and knows so much from last experience that you’re letting taint what I’m tryna build with us.. again why would I choose you over the 20-something year old woman who is cooperative, gets on the same page as me, and is more fertile because starting a family is also important and hard to do for a woman after 35. I’m 22 and can see this why can’t you😂

Over_North8884 · 2023-06-24T20:37:25+00:00

Men don't want older career women because their looks are depreciating and they're bitter. Women are a wasting asset. Why buy the stale bread at the front when you reach further back for fresh bread? The extra effort is minimal and the cost is the same.

Meanwhile, the bypassed older career woman can talk to her cats about how she's such a qween with so much to offer and men are intimidated by it. It helps prop her ego before she cries into her pillow at night.

jrjr_analyst · 2023-06-24T18:34:09+00:00

Older women won't put up with crap that younger women typically will because they have wisdom, experience, and a strong sense of self.

Just because you're a woman above the age of 38.9 (median age of adults in the US, and this is a US-centric trope) and desirable men don't reciprocate your interest doesn't mean that you're an "older career women" whose success intimidates them. I've been in and out of my neighborhood for the past decade, and the manager at my Giant is still the same woman. She's an "older, career woman" and for all the great work she does, she's not intimidating in the least.

In PPD, we use "older, career woman" to connote a financially successful, professionally accomplished (in a white-collar profession) woman who remains single. In my experience as a STEM master's holding, white-collar, knowledge worker, these archetypes hold potential partners to the same stringent standards to which they hold themselves. They expect boldness, aggression, dedication to long-term goals, and mastery of their profession.

Guys who cannot live up to this are ignored (which is fine by us) or actively scorned when an "older, career woman" needs a punching bag. The guys who *can* live up to those standards actually marry similarly-minded women (assortive mating), taking those women out of the "older, career women" pool. And the leftovers get alts on PPD so they can call any male Redditor that acknowledges even a hint of loneliness an incel.

The only men looking for "leverage" in a relationship are sociopaths who blatantly use women to enhance their own lifestyles. You think an ex-con actually wants to shack up with a landwhale he met at TGI Friday's? Fuck no - he wants a warm bed and a home base while he rebuilds his life and his harem.

bottleblank · 2023-06-24T19:26:30+00:00

As a result they feel they've lost ~~what they were entitled to as their birthright~~ any sense of feeling valued and involved in society as a male.

Pathosgrim · 2023-06-24T19:31:21+00:00

You're wrong. The fault is on the older career women that expects a man on her "muh socioeconomic level"

trail22 · 2023-06-24T19:57:37+00:00

As long as men are the pursuers, they will approach women who are physically attractive.

An older women with experience knows that the best way to get what they want is to go after the men they want.

If a women is complaining why men their age dont approach them, they arent very wise to me.

Hoopy223 · 2023-06-24T20:06:28+00:00

Well first off the vast majority of people date in their own age group. Older guys dating younger women is rare.

I don’t think the kind of “older guy” who dates “younger women” is intimidated either. Seems like a lot of cope in one post OP.

Old_Speed_7861 · 2023-06-24T20:45:59+00:00

U r a women by the way u wrote this. It’s not about intimidation. The majority of those women won’t want majority of men. They have a higher bar for looks and income. Hence why men don’t pursue them

v1cgt · 2023-06-24T20:48:08+00:00

Carrer women are annoying and older

RedBullfrog · 2023-06-24T21:00:58+00:00

The funny thing is that older women are far more easier to date than younger, simply because these women have far less options. Still men prefer younger women. So she really matters.

With the career thing, it depends on if a woman can handle both having a career and being in a relationship. My experience is that few can. They will treat their relationship as some project and boss the man around like she bosses people at work around. Few men like to be bossed around so why even take the chance?

2023-06-24T18:50:17+00:00

Frankly, we can't make such broad assumptions when speaking about a general demographic of people. I'm sure that controlling guys who go for them for those reasons do exist but I think there are factors that impact this discussion a lot.

I think an important factor to take into account is how much younger...and how much older?... I can understand liking young attractive women...but there is a threshold of common sense and understanding of the maturity level of a person who is extremely young, and most people can feel that, especially much older people. I mean scientifically the prefrontal cortexes in our brains don't develop fully by the age of 25. Therefore yes, a 35-year-old person dating a 20-year-old person will be much different than a 45-year-old person dating a 30-year-old person.

Grand-Inspection2303 · 2023-06-24T20:31:19+00:00

While it's not a deal-breaker, I've always had a preference to dating and marrying a woman who makes less money than me (or at least not significantly more) because it would make my work seem less purposeful and meaningful if it's not necessary for the sake of providing for the family. It's really as simple as that. I have no desire to control or dominate, I'd just like my pay-check to having meaning because it's putting a roof over my family's head and putting food on the table. As for not wanting an older woman, this is A. younger women are prettier. and B. I want biological children which becomes far less likely much past 35.

Annual_Anxiety_4457 · 2023-06-24T21:42:19+00:00

I find career women a bit like bricks. I want a pillow.

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Prudent-Heart619 · 2023-06-24T23:51:44+00:00

I think it comes down to what future the man is looking for.. If he wants children then a younger woman with the capability to have a career is the better choice. All women are "capable" of having a career. If babies are not in the future than it comes down to sx or intellectual capability. I say this as a 41f with an almost 6 figure career. If a man wants children, it doesn't matter how capability we are, he's not choosing me.

No_Information1763 · 2023-06-25T05:40:09+00:00

Older career women are not as hot as 20 year old co-eds for the most part. That's all there is too it.

Apprehensive_Net7337 · 2023-06-26T00:01:07+00:00

Are the super high value men who make tons of money + handsome and confident all of a sudden now insecure/intimidated about career women? Is this what you're really telling yourself?

AgeOfReasonEnds31120 · 2023-06-26T15:35:44+00:00

In 2008, less than 50% of both men and women wanted a traditional partner. I'm sure that percentage has increased since then, but still...

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1050094/Men-want-women-traditional--women-HAPPY-housewife.html

SillyMushroomTip · 2023-06-26T16:08:59+00:00

Men dont want older women because they got baggage and they hit the wall.

blacksheepvagabond · 2023-07-02T00:30:10+00:00

I find “career” people of any gender boring as hell, so “career women” are generally unattractive to me.

But my future life plans involve buying a trailer and work-trading on a farm so I’m fairly certain such women would want nothing to do with me either lol

Title	CMV: Men don't want older career women because they're insecure and intimidated
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	0
Comments	206
Date	June 24, 2023 5:58 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14hz8yq/cmv_men_dont_want_older_career_women_because/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-men-dont-want-older-career-women-because.1223371 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223371

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