Chances wife will change her mind?

WillyT_21 · 2023-10-02T16:30:17+00:00

Bro she's done. When women reach this point......there's no turning back.

This is what you can expect though...........in her selfishness she WILL try to win you back......not because she wants you back.......but she wants to see if she can get you back. It's sick.

This is just the truth and it sucks. When women reach this point there's no turning back. What you knew of her IS DONE.

OkEmphasis5923 · 2023-10-02T16:38:58+00:00

Wife initiated separation and immediately signed up on dating sites.

That right there tells you how broken she is. She's searching for her drug of choice (sex and romance). She's needs the dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin that her drug gives her like a crack addict needs crack. And she can't get it from you. See her like the junkie she is and try to protect yourself and your kids. Manage your feelings on your own, don't let them cloud your thinking. Be resolute in getting the best outcome for yourself. Don't antagonize her. Be firm, stoic, and strong. If she on her own decides to seek help for her addiction/depression before the divorce is final, she MAY change her mind, but its like a 0.00001% chance.

iSurvivedltd · 2023-10-02T17:33:49+00:00

Yes, but not now. She has a point to prove-that she doesn't need you and she can be independent. I'd even bet she has a female friend or friends that are divorced and rave about how life for them is amazing. Bull. Fucking. Shit

When your divorce is final and she has to pay for shit on her own and the kids are missing daddy in the house with them is when she will realize SHE made a big mistake. I've seen this far too often.

When she comes back-DO NOT TAKE HER BACK. I pray at that point you are banging a woman that respects your and caters to your needs like the KING you are.

Stay strong brother. It gets better for you. I promise

MNCPA · 2023-10-02T16:27:30+00:00

I give it to you straight. It is unlikely your wife will change her mind.

Dating sites are unlimited attention producers from men. Everyone likes compliments and positive attention.

I tested this theory by posting only a picture of my overweight orange cat on tinder. Within minutes, I had men trying to match with my cat.

crypto_keeper88 · 2023-10-02T16:46:12+00:00

Why would she change her mind? She’s already emotionally disconnected from you and is sleeping with tinder hookups. Time to move on and move forward with your life.

techrmd3 · 2023-10-02T17:02:46+00:00

There is a chance probably not one you want to take back

She's going to sow her oats out getting some f boy to give it to her.

After she finds out f boy is not "serious boy" she may grovel back... after entertaining a few f boys and a train or two.

You want that?

But most times women who end it have ended the relationship "in their minds" like months ago. So it really is over unless she gets some cold reality on what it's like to be single.

Most of the gals find SOMEONE to shack up with them and give strange on the regular.

Fair warning these move in boyfriends are not quality people usually. Just a dude with a fair amount of bed room experience and a good story about how they are gonna inherit a gold mine or some such.

warrior_up · 2023-10-02T16:58:44+00:00

This is her future, don’t get in the way of her destiny . Cats, boxed wine, dating apps.

Sadly there’s no shortage of chumps looking to bone divorced single mothers. But She just lost the best thing that ever happened to her - this is as good as it gets and the fun and newness of her situation will come to an end like a freight train and start to slowly torment her each night she closes her eyes, little by little as these men walk out the door one by one

I’m still in shock the number of men my ex slept with straight out of the gates, likely over a dozen in the first couple years. Disgusting

I’d rather hump a cactus

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-10-02T17:19:36+00:00

The dating site thing on your birthday was by design and specifically meant to hurt you. Believe me when I say once they cross over into divorce the woman you love no longer exists, she’s gone and in her place is somebody out to get you. It’s really awful, so sorry you’re going through this.

Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m guessing the market for 41 year old stay at home moms with no cash and 3 autistic kids isn’t what she thinks it is. Men will have sex with her but that’s about it. After a few years of getting ghosted by guys once they’re bored of her she may come crawling back but only because she failed to replace you. I would strongly encourage you to not fall for this trap since it won’t be sincere and she will continue to stray away.

You’re in denial right now man, I’ve been there. Took me about 6 weeks to wrap my brain around the situation and start thinking clearly. Good luck man, we’re here for you.

-NukeX- · 2023-10-02T17:25:10+00:00

Hate to tell you this, but it's over. Time to start working on yourself. Do you really want to be with someone who tells you they are done, and immediately are talking to other guys? Time to find a good therapist. Do some online searching. Finding a good one makes all the difference. First 4 months will be hell getting adjusted to not having the kids 50/50 (provided you even get that). Start eating better...chances are, you will lose weight anyway due to not wanting to eat. I used this and started working out every day. You will get to love the feeling of your body burning and feeling exhausted. Start reaching out to friends. Find some meetup groups. Get outside and meet some people. Be okay being by youself though. Take yourself out solo from time to time. Once you get your body back in shape, your therapy under way, and your confidence back....women will be throwing themselves at you. There is something about the confidence that makes it irrresistible to them. Once you see how happy you can be wihtout them, you will understand and know you deserve better. Long road ahead of you bud, but you got this. Don't let her win. The best revenge is living well. My ex is absolutely miserable now and sees what she f'd up. I see her checking me out when we exchange kids and I lift them in the air. I don't even acknowledge her existence.

l3tsR0LL · 2023-10-02T17:33:13+00:00

My wife has been watching her friends enjoy the apps and wants to join the fun. It was a shock to me but her mind was made up long before telling me. So anything I could say was too late.

Character_Hippo90 · 2023-10-02T17:15:54+00:00

Your loving your wife has absolutely nothing to do with her focus and disinterest in you. Lions at the zoo would LOVE to eat you but can't because there's a physical barrier separating them from you. This is reality and the sooner you accept this the better you'll feel after all is said and done. And since you know her intentions, it's time for you to formulate an exit plan (with an attorney) that is beneficial for yourself and the kids.

cactuscharlie · 2023-10-02T18:28:27+00:00

Most likely zero chance. Hang around in this sub long enough and you'll see most of our wives planned this all out in their heads long before mentioning it.

Sorry, friend. It hurts. I know.

steaksauce872 · 2023-10-02T16:49:13+00:00

No turning back, live your life with your new future in mind. What do you want to create? Im in the same boat as you, and I’m absolutely furious. But instead of wishing her back, contemplating why she’s doing it, just move on. Concentrate on loving yourself, and becoming amazing. For you and your kids. Love will follow eventually.

ColSolTigh · 2023-10-02T16:50:31+00:00

If it were based on the stats, you would be the favorite to win this particular race. You may not see it that way, though. The view from the ground can be very different than the view from above.

hazalo9 · 2023-10-02T17:20:37+00:00

Let her go. She wants to go out so give that to her and don't give a fuck what she does. Whoever cares less in the relationship is the one that holds the most POWER! Don't show her your emotions. Bro... You have a big age advantage! Work out and find someone young to date, that will burn her up. Go no contact and I'll bet she will be back, but by then you will be a young badass and have moved on. Time is not on her side and she will be used consistently on the dating apps. You got this bro!

Fwooply · 2023-10-02T18:02:30+00:00

Brutal honesty, the dating site thing marks time of death for the marriage. It is so fucking unhealthy for everyone including the kids.

Jonger1150 · 2023-10-02T18:04:48+00:00

She's gone.

Diablo_Canyon2 · 2023-10-02T18:38:27+00:00

Chances are low. I am also going through divorce with special needs kids. It's hell. Good luck. Dm me if you need to talk.

EDITORDIE · 2023-10-02T19:18:32+00:00

I don’t know your situation OP, and don’t mean to claim our situations are the same because they are not, but regarding my own divorce, I know deep down that the divorce was from me and from our kids; she grew tired/had a breakdown being a parent to two high energy kids. It doesn’t make me feel any better. And there’s no solace or satisfaction in knowing this. Just sharing.

It’s overwhelming. Focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Inch by inch you’ll figure things out.

Stay strong. Focus on your kids. Try not be bitter. Protect your peace. Good luck. You got this even if you don’t think you do.

balls_told_me_so · 2023-10-02T20:32:38+00:00

She’s done. When women initiate it’s because they’ve already moved on.

Women will leave you before physically leaving you and there is no going back.

Also, because she’s on dating sites, she will see that grass isn’t always greener and YOU SHOULD NOT BE HER SECOND CHOICE.

Lawyer up and dump her ass.

captainchippsixx · 2023-10-02T18:03:54+00:00

She is already banging other guys. And she probably was doing it before this!

Get rid of the doormat simp pleaser nice guy away. Now focus on you and your kids.

You need to work out a schedule so you can get out of the house. Don’t take this shit of her going out at night while you stay home. Don’t find her dating with cloths, gas, makeup. Come on man the disrespect is overwhelming. Intimate a firmer divorce pla. And get the ball rolling.

SelectionNo3078 · 2023-10-02T18:18:45+00:00

Just be glad you know exactly where she stands (though she’s more likely kneeling)

You know she’s done. And you can’t take her back now.

This is so good for you

Get mad

Get out

tadslippy · 2023-10-02T19:29:48+00:00

She had long decided to go through with whatever or whoever she's doing when she asked for and initiated the separation. It'll have to play out. Likely in her mind she's already divorced and is acting as such, the rest is paperwork - and she's knows there's a clock. You do you, knowing that's what's happening. It sucks that this is happening to you and your kids.

Any-Dare-7261 · 2023-10-02T22:26:12+00:00

I’m gonna tell you something my female friends have told me when this started. “Most women emotionally check out a long time, like a year before they file paperwork. She might have regrets but she has moved on and don’t go back to someone who stopped loving you a long time ago.”

wisstinks4 · 2023-10-02T18:11:30+00:00

OP, sorry you are going through this right now. Do you feel like she has someone else on her radar?

Instead of giving up, is there anyway she would work with you to resolve any issues? I have a buddy who has two kids with autism and he is deciding if he wants to stay in working out or if he’s gonna leave them all‘s life. It’s a very difficult decision.

Too many people are throwing in the towel early without trying to fix things and make it better. hoping you can save your marriage. Be safe.

ZX75V · 2023-10-02T21:47:31+00:00

Bro! You having nothing to lose here (except finances) she’s 41 bro… 41 my man. She’s over and she will realize that soon on dating Apps! She has zero competition against all the young girls out there. Her SMV is zero! Plus SAHM! Good luck to her! Finding anything serious will be impossible. Even fuck boys will pass on that one.

You’re 36 at your prime bro! You can replace her with a stunning 20 year old like nothing and live your best life! Let her go man! Even when she comes begging and she will after she gets tired of being used and few people run her over and break her back. Just be a man and don’t take her back then! Just fight your case in court! Don’t beg don’t ask just be stoic and move on!

observe1147 · 2023-10-02T20:12:38+00:00

She checked out a year ago. Her emotion connection to you is gone at this moment. She will throw lot of TESTING. Don't chase, don't be a simp, don't promise anything, don't blame, and don't be angry. Be the person that before you met her. If she wants to be on dating app, good for her. If she wants to go. Let her!! remember, everyone have choices. You want the person willingly and available to be there with you and fuck your brain out. Dancing takes two people. Give her the FREEDOM.

Counseling and lawyer cost money. I understand why people need them.

It easy to outsider to tell you to leave and cut her off. You probably sweating your ball right now and still in love. "initiated Separation" is not the end. she checking to see if grass is greener on the other side. You still have a chance. Looks like you not watering your own grass and keep it green.

Make money, work out, hang out and have fun. Pop that bottle of wine at night with her. Take the kids to the zoo. Don't take life too serious.

She probably is miserable too. To open a woman up, "listen and ask question".

dnbndnb · 2023-10-02T21:02:54+00:00

Most men have zero desire to take on another man’s kids, let alone three all on the autism scale. If she’s looking for “action” she’ll find enough “hit it and quit it” guys, but the chance of her replacing you is probably less than zero.

Your best option is to file first, go 50/50 on the kids. If possible try to not let her have all her weekends free. And start the 180 right now. Be a little erratic in your schedule. Fail to come home on time the nights she wants to go out. Make her begin to experience “single mom” life.

conker574 · 2023-10-02T20:07:21+00:00

Dude... I'm sorry. That's tough. Tougher than my situation. She's done, unfortunately. Still be nice and amicable. But the tough part is the more you push the more she's going to back away. Do what you can bro. Take notes of EVERYTHING MOVING FORWARD. Get a notebook. Seriously.

wakablahh · 2023-10-02T20:41:52+00:00

It’s so disrespectful of her to do that, particularly while still living in same house.

Hopefully you have some self-respect to realize that, and that you deserve someone who will 100% commit to you and love you 100%.

If you want another person for the next 40-50 years of your life, it’s possible. Don’t be so hopeless that she was the ONLY one for you.

Acceptable_Piano4809 · 2023-10-02T21:43:28+00:00

I think the odds are prob close to 0… w these situations, she’s prob started grieving the loss of the relationship much much longer than you’ve been aware.

Remember when you were younger and dating, and someone broke up with you? We all know (well most) what this feels like. When it first happens, usually you’d do anything to have them back, just see them, or just hear their voice. Now imagine if you were questioning breaking up with someone, but you could see them everyday all the time. What happened w your ex is she was going through the breaking up (divorce) with you for a long time, but didn’t have to go through the physical separation. She could see you everyday, hear your voice, talk to you, and she did. Instead of missing you, she got to see you everyday and it just reinforced all the reasons why she wanted to break up, until it got to the point she couldn’t stand it anymore, and she left. It happens to us all (the dumpees) we are unaware of any problems and just go on living life, while our dumper is going through the break up.

Hopefully that made sense, but if she was going to change her mind, she would have never left.

You need to move on and start accepting that you have a new reality now.

Brown33470 · 2023-10-02T22:32:29+00:00

RX8JIM · 2023-10-02T22:45:18+00:00

DO NOT DO THE CHOOSE ME DANCE!!! Sorry for the all caps but please, don't do it. It won't work and will only make you feel pathetic in the long run. Listen to the advice others have posted. We've all been there brother. It sucks but you will come out the other side. I'm still trying to get there. There is light at the end of the tunnel....

U_feel_Me · 2023-10-02T22:54:38+00:00

She’s a stay at home mom, with three kids, and she’s initiating the separation?

OP, does she have no money?

OP, are you paying for everything?!

Life Rule: Do not pay other people to abuse you.

Lawyer up. Now.

If you can (after getting legal advice), stop depositing paychecks into shared accounts. If possible, cancel any credit cards you are paying for or jointly own.

BaldieGoose · 2023-10-02T23:56:34+00:00

Zero percent man. I went down that road and wasted too much time and energy.

Mark_Foureh · 2023-10-03T00:09:15+00:00

also, dont get wrapped up in the sex part. let your ex go. let her give herself away. don't worry if you're not getting laid. focus on you and the kids. take the time and do the work to get everything the way it needs to be for you. keep your eyes on the prize until its finalized.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-10-03T01:57:42+00:00

Slim to none, but she's going to take you to the cleaners on facts like this.

Reasonable-Desk-8508 · 2023-10-03T03:04:01+00:00

She did change her mind. From you to someone else. You're no longer her first choice. Could you stay with her knowing she only stayed with you because she couldn't find better? That isn't love.

KrazyJazz · 2023-10-02T21:10:03+00:00

She could eventually change her mind but only if life outside her marriage doesn't pay off. It is as simple. I'm sorry, man.

Sea-Mission-6316 · 2023-10-02T21:49:46+00:00

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Title	Chances wife will change her mind?
Author	r00986
Upvotes	30
Comments	79
Date	October 2, 2023 4:15 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/16y0uyw/chances_wife_will_change_her_mind/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/chances-wife-will-change-her-mind.1233751 https://theredarchive.com/post/1233751

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