With women, you need to cultivate the vibe if you want a good conversation.

Eschew_Sloth-232 · 2023-11-12T22:18:42+00:00

Women have no special intuition for misogyny, this myth actually harms women more than anything. Curiously the most abusive, violent men have no issues attracting women, what happens to their intuition when it comes to these men. Raw attraction has nothing to do with being a good person, women will rationalize why they like the guys they do, they can abuse a minor and they will still see a sweetheart.

It is what it is. What you wrote is a tired narrative that nobody believes anymore. Even women on this subreddit have admitted in a round about way that morality does not matter when it comes to attraction. We have eyes, we can see what women actually respond to, ALL women and it's not sensitive, well rounded good men. Nobody is fooled.

Nothing offensive here mods just giving my perspective.

Southern_Fall983 · 2023-11-12T22:20:54+00:00

Your first sentence speaks to the double standards that exist, of which people, in general, don’t like. Why should men who speak about women having no hobbies/are boring people be any culpable with their observations than women who speak the same about men of whom are adulated and praised for doing so? Makes no sense

macone235 · 2023-11-13T01:34:16+00:00

However, I would posit that attitudes like this are what make women cold towards them

Yeah, that's what does it.

Women will suck a guys dick on the first night if she's attracted enough to him. Has nothing to do with "good attitude to make her comfortable".

The whole complaint about nice guys is that they're literally nice "only for sex", but then they turn toxic after they get rejected, so women are even admitting that being nice has nothing to do with it.

Women simply aren't attracted to people that they're not attracted to, and no amount of "treating them right" is going to change that. Women prefer men who are attractive regardless if they treat them right or not, and this idea that this isn't the case is why there is so much resentment to begin with. People are tired of being lied to by women.

We even have studies proving that women prefer misogynistic men, and we have OP virtue signaling otherwise.

2023-11-12T22:01:35+00:00

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omegajelly200 · 2023-11-13T00:29:59+00:00

Even on hobby groups where people only join if they are seriously vested in it - like Afro-Latin dance socials, women still have a cold vibe - except for Chad.

Vibe = looks, and barring extreme exceptions ie the Chad guy acting like a complete moron.

Konoha_Shinobee · 2023-11-12T22:52:07+00:00

Women come across as boring and without hobbies because they're disinterested in conversation with most men.

If most conversations with women are devoid of personality, I'm just going to assume that's how women are.

thedarkracer · 2023-11-12T21:41:19+00:00

Dude, I could tell that until 19 I barely talked to any women. Till now I have talked to a lot. Even cooked alongside 3 women. Talked about hair dying with a girl and even boats, greek culture with another one.

MaleficentSun3923 · 2023-11-13T09:08:59+00:00

When guys say that women are boring then it's because these guys have to carry the conversations themselves and the woman just sits back and enjoys the conversation being created for her while putting in little to no effort because the effort is already being done.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-11-13T00:24:45+00:00

It’s not even so much a matter of caution but lack of opportunity to speak. In my experience the vast majority of men tend to monologue about themselves and their special interests and do not listen much or ask any questions. When women do get a chance to speak about their interests, if it’s not something he knows much about, men rarely even make an attempt to fake interest long enough for her to finish. If it’s a shared interest, they usually take what they see as an opportunity to show off their superior knowledge and “correct” her. So eventually she’ll stop trying.

I can’t find it at the moment, but apparently there was a study that showed women introduce a majority of topics in a conversation, but men reject most of them and they almost always tend up talking about his topics.

This might all just sound like I’m saying “men suck,” but that’s not my point. All this stuff is socialized from an early age and I’m sure men don’t even realize they’re doing it. It’s just something to be aware of if you want to be a good conversationalist. Take a breath, ask questions, try to listen as much as you speak. Don’t focus on impressing her or be too afraid of a small awkward silence. Remember women are less likely to just interrupt when they want to say something like your male friends might, because we too have been socialized to defer to men in conversation. She probably doesn’t really want to listen to you explain your hobbies in great detail but is indulging you, so if you are willing to do the same for a bit that will make you a lot more enjoyable to talk to.

Proudvow · 2023-11-12T22:47:31+00:00

More blue pill gaslighting. If a guy became misogynistic because he was rejected by women then the misogyny isn't why he was rejected to begin with, since it didn't exist yet.

And if women had any special ability to avoid dangerous men they wouldn't so frequently find themselves dating criminals and abusers. That bullies and sociopaths actually have higher partner counts than average shows that their traits aren't what women's sexual selection excludes men over.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2023-11-12T21:38:57+00:00

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NockerJoe · 2023-11-12T21:56:48+00:00

If a large slice of the population won't reveal their personal traits it's reasonable for an observer with no skin in the game to just assume they don't have any. You're not necessarily wrong but this is exactly why a lot of men complain about women being invited to male dominated hobbies or events or about how they need to clamp down with banter when a woman enters a construction yard or something.

Your dichotomy works in your favor if it's some mid to low tier guy trying to smash. In like every other scenario the dude isn't going to put in a bunch of extra work he'd never have to with another man.

SeveralLiterature980 · 2023-11-12T21:42:36+00:00

Nonsense.

Vibe = how attracted she is to you.

It's not something you cultivate. She either is or is not attracted to you.

If she's attracted she will light up naturally

And honestly I don't want good conversation. I want to find out first if this woman wants to sleep with me. Idle chatter and emotional investment in a woman who isn't into you is a waste of time

Lina-Inverse · 2023-11-12T23:57:45+00:00

You cultivate the vibe by being attractive, not by making her comfortable with "personality"

If you're ugly you'll make her uncomfortable.

_here_ok · 2023-11-12T22:10:10+00:00

A person who is toxic likely won't notice they are toxic. People in general don't notice when they are toxic. We kinda have to call it out and hope the person realizes.

Geselshaft · 2023-11-12T21:36:55+00:00

A lot of guys here I suspect let their misogyny bleed through to day to day because they describe women as boring people with no hobbies.

No one does this. Misogyny doesn’t “bleed”.

Not any more than women’s gold digging does.

Attitudes aren’t making women reject them. Men don’t get that far. Women have rejected them long before any conversation takes place.

And it isn’t rejection based on misogyny. We all know what the rejection is based on.

Making up lies that women need to feel comfortable to have a conversation would imply women aren’t preset to live in fear of the only people they’d never be hurt by, men below their threshold to even be accepted for conversations or otherwise.

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Southern_Fall983 · 2023-11-12T22:14:27+00:00

Yea, ok

Amiskon2 · 2023-11-13T18:05:46+00:00

fEmAlE iNTuItIoN

The most useless "skill" ever. At best used to deny reality, at worst to make women choose terrible men.

modidlee · 2023-11-13T19:40:38+00:00

They need to be comfortable with a guy to open up their full personality

This. I’ve realized this is my “superpower.” Every woman I’ve been with at some point says something to the effect of “I don’t know why I’m so comfortable with you. I really don’t even know you.” On the first date with one of my ex’s we went back to my place and she was peeing with the bathroom door open. I said “uhhh do you want me to close the door?” She said “no it’s okay.” Then she laughed and said “omg I’m sorry I don’t know why I’m so comfortable.”

penndelnj · 2023-11-12T21:32:50+00:00

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Radical_Libertarian · 2023-11-12T21:53:23+00:00

It’s not a simple matter to change your entire personality just to be attractive to the opposite sex.

Even traits like how good you are at cracking jokes, are likely to have a genetic basis.

FebruaryEightyNine · 2023-11-13T00:43:16+00:00

I went to pick up my brother from the train station today, really wasn't feeling being conversational but my girlfriend made the journey a breeze by asking a bunch of questions about my brothers plans. But then it was like that when I first met her too. Was one of the few women I met who actually enjoyed being engaging and debating topics.

I really am blessed.

And no, I don't buy that "oh women don't engage with men they're not interested in". I've had women who had INSANE crushes on me yet were an absolute pain to talk to. Women aren't penalised for a lack of charisma but, more and more, I'm finding those women often remain single. If you're aiming for high quality guys and you're unable to be engaging and enthusiastic, why on earth is a guy with options gonna waste his time with a girl who doesn't make him feel anything.

I'm of the belief thay personality matters more for women than most think and looks matter more for men than most think.

Smergmerg432 · 2023-11-12T23:58:05+00:00

Tracks with my experience. I start out goofy and open. They either mansplain I am wrong or insult me straight up. Or they are turned off by what they see as “childish”—so then I change tactics and get quieter. There’s also this phenomenon where when I actually say what I’m thinking they take that as offensive and get mad at me. So if my opinion differs on a topic, they see that as an affront. So then I don’t offer my opinion. Vs in normal conversations (with men and women both) it’s usual to be able to riff off one another’s differences

IFightingFrogsI · 2023-11-13T11:10:19+00:00

"A lot of guys here I suspect let their misogyny bleed through"

"I think the guys here are not honest about theit toxic attitude leaking into interactions. "

Again with this genius argument of the mysterious female super power called "The Personaliteehee Detector"

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MateriallyAttatched · 2023-11-12T23:59:20+00:00

No, most young people are boring asf, men included.

More-Tax-62 · 2023-11-13T00:09:23+00:00

I don't believe women are using misogyny as the delineation to whether they are receptive to a man or not. Certainly not in the early conversations. In my observation these factors will make women cold towards you wayyy before misogyny comes into the picture:

Does she find the man attractive? Men will get more grace everything if she does.

Is the man Shy or confident? Bonus points for confidence. Even arrogance presents better than shyness for most women.

Conversational skills - can you make her laugh, recall things she said to show you're listening. Commonalities. Hobbies. Pets. Traveling. Etc.

Maybe "misogyny" comes in if she's a rad feminist and yall start debating shit. 🤓but you

Visual-Possible-3239 · 2023-11-13T04:27:21+00:00

I don't know if they are sensing misogyny as such, it's probably more likely that the man in this situation is giving off a negative vibe, coming across as tense, or not at all comfortable in their own skin. Also, just imagine the look on someone's face when they are talking to someone they think is boring or doesn't have any hobbies, it's going to be obnoxious at worst and off-putting at best.

And of course women are more cautious, I don't remember who said this, but I think most women inherently understand the following: "Men are afraid that a woman will laugh at them; women are afraid that a man will kill them." If you see it this way, it may help to have some empathy, and be a bit more understanding about their caution, or the shields they put up to protect themselves.

Men and women are different, of course there is a double a standard. I would suggest that trying to fight that, or carrying around resentment because of it just makes you unlikeable, and no women is going to be attracted to someone that comes off as tense, or obnoxious, resentful or unlikable. You may think that it doesn't, but the bitterness does come out. This is not only unattractive, it's downright scary for women.

So the solution is to accept things as they are, and when you are talking to someone that you are interested in (regardless of gender) really be interested in them, what they have to say, etc. Everyone, even hot women like to talk about themselves, and the more you let them do it, the more they will think that you are smart. Ask questions that show you're interested and here is the real trick actually be interested. And kill the voice in the back of your head that is telling you that life is unfair, that you are up against a double standard, that you're not good enough, too short, too poor, or whatever. Be relaxed, interested and fun. Fake it until you make it.

DeJuanBallard · 2023-11-13T15:12:38+00:00

I literally didn't get through the title. Braindead nonsense . This sub has really fallen apart completely.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2023-11-14T20:30:44+00:00

They need to be comfortable with a guy to open up their full personality.

I think good old Ted Bundy would agree with this. Then again, he was a serial killer who exclusively targeted women and got away with it because of those "good vibes"...

Title	With women, you need to cultivate the vibe if you want a good conversation.
Author	penndelnj
Upvotes	18
Comments	260
Date	November 12, 2023 9:29 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17tub2f/with_women_you_need_to_cultivate_the_vibe_if_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/with-women-you-need-to-cultivate-the-vibe-if-you.1238277 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238277

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