Does a woman’s sex drive really play a big part in their dating life/success?

AdhesivenessLevel379 · 2023-11-15T13:28:09+00:00

It sounds you’d be compatible with someone asexual or with a low sex drive. Romantic relationships require compatibility or one person feels pressured and the other feels neglected.

FebruaryEightyNine · 2023-11-15T14:28:47+00:00

Eh...

Might also be worth double checking your hormone levels are healthy or consulting a therapist. The fact you're even asking does make me wonder whether your lack of sexual activity may not necessarily be borne out of a lack of desire.

Edit: scratch that, looking at your post history, I don't think you're asexual at all. You've also mentioned depression. This is the LAST place you should really be consulting people. Especially as a woman. People will lead you down an awful road simply in the culture war against redpill/incel clowns. This is conversation you should be having with medical professionals.

MoreSanitizerPls · 2023-11-15T12:59:31+00:00

Find an asexual dude. Or a guy with a very low sex drive. To do this you’ll need to advertise up front that you’re asexual/have a low sex drive. That should weed out the men who you’re incompatible with. Sorry about your predicament but most men don’t want an emotional relationship with a woman if it doesn’t come with sex. It sucks but that’s the way the cookie crumbs.

Sex drive does play a big factor. For many men, a woman could be mediocre in every other aspect of the relationship but if she’s having sex with him whenever he wants it he’ll be pretty much content.

Sex is the glue that holds a relationship together. More women than men can go without sex and still be good partners, most men shut down mentally and emotionally in a relationship without sex and won’t want to do anything for you.

wtknight · 2023-11-15T13:43:36+00:00

Of course it plays a big part, as a man and woman reciprocating romantic and sexual energy is what starts relationships and sexual encounters. If a woman (or the man) isn’t giving off romantic and sexual energy, then there isn’t going to be a connection. At best there will be a friendship.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-11-15T13:50:19+00:00

There are more women like you than men realize. Sex: it’s great to have but you’ll be just fine without it.

The reality is, they won’t ever know, let alone care, as long as you put out. It will only ever be a dealbreaker if you abstain or wind up in a dead bedroom.

odd_cloud · 2023-11-15T14:12:36+00:00

Of course men don’t sense on the first date that a woman is asexual. At the same time very few men would be open to dating someone asexual.

I bet for most men it would sound like “I haven’t talked to anyone in five years, and I don’t care if I will ever do it again. How do you think is it a problem?”

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-11-15T14:12:20+00:00

The fact you don’t masturbate and haven’t had sex in 5 yrs and don’t care if you do again….

Would be a GIANTA RED FLAG for me

JNRoberts42 · 2023-11-15T14:20:02+00:00

Typically women enjoy sex, seek sex, and masturbate. That doesn't mean that deviation from typical is abnormal, but it does mean those women would be happier with men who have matching interests in sex.

ornamentalwallpaper · 2023-11-15T13:04:32+00:00

they can't sense a jack shit, and most of them overestimate how interested a woman is in a sexual encounter by a huge margin

How are a bunch of people supposed to know why you are single? Maybe you are a negative person - you whine and complain most of the time (that's me btw), maybe you won't shut up and have a chronic verbal diarrhea. How would we know? We weren't there. You are the person who knows the best what goes south and when.

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-11-15T13:17:52+00:00

I would see it as a red flag. I wouldn't want to get into a relationship where I would possibly be deadbedroom'd in the future, if a woman is comfortable not having sex for years then it would scare me off.

DXBrigade · 2023-11-15T14:14:19+00:00

No but it probably means that dating apps aren't for you. You should try a different venue like speed dating or singles' event.

Ohmaygahh · 2023-11-15T15:10:07+00:00

I haven’t had sex in 5+ yrs & don’t care if I ever do again.

You really need to get a holistic checkup with a legitimate doctor.

lil_kleintje · 2023-11-15T14:36:17+00:00

There are asexual men, too, for sure and there would be certain apps that cater better for that preference? Maybe Feeld/OkCupid, but Google would know better. It's just that you have to be upfront with that information to weed out everyone else.

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-11-16T01:07:57+00:00

Yes it does especially nowadays. Due to most men being heavily influenced by porn, they expect alot from women sexually even if they don't communicate it.

MissBehave654 · 2023-11-16T05:12:20+00:00

Honestly who needs men when you can just buy a sex toy? It satisfies me more than any man can.

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-11-15T14:05:40+00:00

I just think you haven’t found the right man. I think a sexually attractive man can activate almost any woman’s low sex drive. I just think women know that percentage of men is very small, so we just focus on other qualities.

soontobesolo · 2023-11-15T14:42:30+00:00

You need to be absolutely up front about your lack of libido. Otherwise you're going to (continue) having a lot of problems dating. Sex is very important to almost everyone, so you're kind of the exception here. Guys won't know if you don't tell them!!

If you are up front about your wishes hopefully you'll save yourself (and the guys) the misery of frustration/feeling misled/bad dating, and match up with those who are compatible with you.

Puzzleheaded_Card_71 · 2023-11-15T14:52:22+00:00

Difference between sex and intimacy. Do you want and like lots of intimacy like cuddling, or just not interested in touch and just want the mental stimulation of conversation? In any event do be clear on your bio to help guide potential partners.

throaway2s1fsfsf4 · 2023-11-15T15:19:01+00:00

Absolutely. Very few men are willing to date an asexual girl though they exist as I am one of those few.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2023-11-15T16:25:15+00:00

Well yeah you'd have to rule out a hige majority of men if you're not onterrested in sex. They might not notice immediately but long term, the relationship can't work if only one perskn likes ssx.

M_Ptwopointoh · 2023-11-15T17:01:20+00:00

I don't have sex or masturbate, ever, and have no desire to do so. Why on earth are people calling me asexual?! It's such an unsolvable mystery.

OP, what?

mlo9109 · 2023-11-15T14:04:15+00:00

Ooh, I'm in the same boat as you. You may be demi (ace lite). It just means you need an emotional connection before a physical one. This makes dating in our modern oversexed culture hell.

That said, the right person will respect you. I've been rejected by men who got frustrated with me for not putting out. The same men would slut shame us for putting out. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't, so do you.

wecovetwhatwesee · 2023-11-15T16:52:53+00:00

Are you upfront about your lack of interest in sex?

99% of men are not looking for a sexless long term relationship.

Be honest and look for another ace.

Tbh I don’t think that’s such a big deal, as there’s a lot of women that need that connection before wanting to be sexual with a guy in the first place.

Yeah, you're either in denial or just plan on being dishonest. You're like the "smoker who's trying to quit". People wanting to connect before becoming sexual will at some point become sexual. You have no intention of doing this.

Anyways, this is probably why attempts at relationships are not going well.

You're not being honest. Period.

purplish_possum · 2023-11-15T16:20:33+00:00

is the lack of sexual desire really a red flag

Hell YES!!!

I can't imagine a bigger red flag. Guys date to find a sex partner not a buddy.

anonym1230 · 2023-11-15T13:13:02+00:00

women are waaay more “visual creature” than men

makeup/fashion industry etc

RevolutionaryOkra679 · 2023-11-15T13:07:01+00:00

I mean no offense, but I wouldn’t date you

Zabadoodude · 2023-11-15T16:45:48+00:00

I haven’t had sex in 5+ yrs & don’t care if I ever do again.

As a man who isnt asexual I would certainly see that as a red flag. I don't want sex to be some favor she does for me to keep me around, or to need to jump through hoops to get her in the mood. I want her to genuinely feel aroused by me early on. If there isn't at least some sexual tension by the second date, it's probably not going to work out.

bruhminer · 2023-11-15T15:58:07+00:00

Ppl on reddit are saying that a guy can sense that right off the bat

Most guys can't because they've never been with a woman that was actually sexually attracted to them.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-11-15T13:11:22+00:00

Song_of_Pain · 2023-11-15T19:47:48+00:00

Get your hormones checked, that's not normal and probably not healthy.

Regardless, until you get your situation resolved, it's selfish and immoral of you to date men who aren't asexual.

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2023-11-15T19:23:47+00:00

No, men love one-sided relationships /s

macone235 · 2023-11-15T21:31:36+00:00

You can make a difference in sexual libido work if you're willing to put in effort, or if it's not too significant. At a certain point though. it's just going to be too much sacrifice for one or both parties unless the higher libido person has a lot of self-control.

No-Click9406 · 2023-11-16T06:59:56+00:00

in my experience women that aren't very sexual are terrible at flirting because you need a bit of sexual tension in order for it to be enjoyable and they just make it seem like more work than fun and that's what makes dating them hard combine that with the fact that there are women that sleep with random men while making the man they date wait and then lying about it and you get a net negative to dating someone that has a low sex drive.

Pyroblasts · 2023-11-16T15:54:58+00:00

This is fucking hilarious. “I have nothing to offer men who already have friends nothing else but friendship. Why am I single?”

Jesus fuck… 🤣🤣

AntiHypergamist · 2023-11-16T06:02:18+00:00

Ran through women lose their sex drives. It’s simple and us guys can sense it

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ScreenTricky4257 · 2023-11-15T15:34:03+00:00

Question: you don't care if you ever have sex again, but suppose you met a man who you otherwise liked, but who insisted on having sex at least once a month. Would you be willing to give in and have sex on his schedule just to keep the relationship going?

Anominon2014 · 2023-11-15T16:40:17+00:00

Yes, yes it does.

Careless-Agency4062 · 2023-11-15T18:03:41+00:00

sex is a much bigger thing for men than it is women so they do care about getting it pretty quickly. Personally if it's someone I'm actually interested I don't want her to sleep with me right away that makes me assume she doesn't see me as anything serious mostly because that's how I work. Women I want to date I tend to actually set up dates. Women I just find hot I'll try to pull out of the club that night.

desert_fly · 2023-11-15T20:15:53+00:00

You're not abnormal, but most people, especially men, put a lot of value on sex.

I would be upfront about being ace.

Defiant_Dress6544 · 2023-11-17T21:13:29+00:00

I'm an asexual man, and you would be a perfect fit for me. Dont give up hope. Men like me do exist. Im not fully asexual, its just that I was very traumatized growing up and as a result really need to trust a person before I feel sexually attracted to them. Looks have nothing to do with it. Of course, I would need my partner to be good looking but them being good looking does not help my sexual attraction to them initially. A connection must still be formed.

Snivelingincel · 2023-11-17T23:01:04+00:00

Nah it’s just hypergamy

Title	Does a woman’s sex drive really play a big part in their dating life/success?
Author	Dsg1695
Upvotes	23
Comments	187
Date	November 15, 2023 12:56 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17vt1ob/does_a_womans_sex_drive_really_play_a_big_part_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-a-womans-sex-drive-really-play-a-big-part-in.1238549 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238549

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