It has never been easier to approach women

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-05-10T15:42:39+00:00

Can't even tell between reading fiction and blue takes nowadays.

Maractop · 2024-05-10T15:38:52+00:00

Only if you are good looking. They literally get offended by unattractive men approaching them. Its easy for the men it was always easy for. Its harder than ever for the rest

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Southern_Fall983 · 2024-05-10T14:09:42+00:00

Its not “scary” to approach it’s just not much return for your efforts, if you’re not a certain “caliber” of guy. Contrary to what guys like you believe, women don’t enjoy being approached by strange men on the street they are not already attracted to off the bat

Aafan_Barbarro · 2024-05-10T18:32:54+00:00

Cold approach without any prior indicators of interest for non-exceptional man is an act of insanity. You're approaching a total stranger you know nothing about beyond her looks. You don't even know if she is single, if she wants to be approached, if you have anything in common, if she would find anything about you attractive, you don't know what is the right thing to say to her, you can't know her reaction which can be very bad. Now, what are the odds? You can walk into a casino and bet all your savings and there is always a chance you'll win. But that doesn't make it any less insane.

Crimson-Pilled · 2024-05-10T14:46:10+00:00

Approaching might be easier, but women have never been less aproachable. Men are going to be less eager to initiate when women are loud about how much they dislike men.

FreitasAlan · 2024-05-10T14:27:11+00:00

It never became harder/easier. You just shouldn’t harass them. In other words, don’t cold approach if you’re ugly.

DeJuanBallard · 2024-05-10T19:14:22+00:00

You really gotta be guzzling atrazine water to believe this.

PriestKingofMinos · 2024-05-10T14:20:08+00:00

Something like 50% of single gen z men claim to have never asked a woman out. I'm late millennial and never have myself. For me it was more personal fear and weird social anxiety hangups. I think for people younger than me stuff like #MeToo and the more rapid feminization of the culture is more of the cause. Online dating has replaced a lot of irl dating where the rules and norms are confusing, hypocritical, and paralyzing. Guys my age used to do just fine in high school and then in college. Then things just kind of crashed for men under 30. Millennial males over 35 seem to be mostly "normal" compared to gen x and boomers regarding relationship formation and marriage. As a 30 year old man I'm genuinely pretty shocked how few of my friends (regardless of where I met them) or men in my high school graduating class are married right now. The women have clearly done better and have been much more successful romantically.

rma5690 · 2024-05-10T14:58:15+00:00

It's also never been more pointless.

EveningEveryman · 2024-05-10T16:50:43+00:00

As someone who asked out like 5 of my coworkers(so far) and approaches women alot it really doesn't work out. I guess it's better to approach than not, but isn't how relationships start. The only reason I do this is as a form of gambling and with the hopes of somehow forcing my way out of this situation, but this really doesn't work out.

Kentaro009 · 2024-05-11T04:21:51+00:00

Women in prior generations didn't mind rejecting men, but they did their best to not hurt people's feelings.

Now, women enjoy making rejection a humiliation ritual and are more mean spirited.

So lots of men have checked out.

Ultramega39 · 2024-05-10T14:55:24+00:00

The thing is I hate having to waste my time pursuing someone just for them to ghost me with no explimation, It happens every time I'm interested in someone.

And no these aren't just random women that I find on dating apps, these are people that I've met at my university or back in high school.

Also before anyone tries to say that maybe I'm the asshole in this situation. I am extremely careful with what I say to people and rarely ever give out compliments or flirt in fear of being perceived as creepy.

So no I don't think that it's easier to approach women.

untamed-italian · 2024-05-10T15:58:47+00:00

It has never been easier to approach women

Ok, so?

Are they offering anything worth approaching? No? Then why should a guy approach them just so they can practice their shut down routine?

Men stopped approaching women. The only interaction women get are street harrassment. Basically the Metoo thing has only discouraged men with good intent.

I know, I love it when the clueless get what they say they want and are more miserable for getting it.

Therefore now it is easier than ever to stand out.

Ok, but there's no value in it cause too many women are boring prudes.

Women appreciate WAY MORE being approached when no one did in the past 1-2 years.

Cool for them, but if guys get no appreciation for the effort why are you still expecting effort?

yes they enjoy when it happens even when they arent interested back.

Lol we already knew this but it is hilarious most women still think it's some kind of secret that women have egos.

So please do not listen to online losers saying you'll end up in jail for starting a conversation.

Nobody thinks that. We think starting a conversation will lead to nothing we want and a lot we don't want to bother with.

All they want is an excuse to not approach. Doing so is scary, most men dont have the courage and that's how they feel better about themselves.

No, this is just cap they tell themselves to cope. It's not about lacking courage, it's about lacking anything positive to gain from approaching. If they want their doorbell rung put out a welcome mat.

In reality it has never been easier than now and most women appreciate a genuine/respectful approach

Women can fulfill themselves without our help, what do WE get out of this? Cause it sounds like "nothing" to me.

I know where to find women who are actually fun, approaching them randomly is just an exercise in frustration and a waste of time.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-05-10T16:50:38+00:00

Yes, you can actually be falsely accused of harassment if you are unattractive. Happened to me and to other men I know. And no, it is not easier to approach women because if you are not a certain caliber of a man, rejections are brutal, and I don't just mean getting a simple no, I mean getting laughed at, made fun of, etc. It just shows you got no idea how harsh it is for average men in the dating market.

Diamond_Claws · 2024-05-10T17:31:28+00:00

Women: Me too. Fuck all men.

Men: Christ, not ALL men.

Women: ALL MEN!

All Men: Alright then. stops coming on to women, goes to do something else

Women: Where did all the men go?

sixsevenrice · 2024-05-10T16:27:54+00:00

Just Be Handsome

AdEffective7894s · 2024-05-10T14:01:59+00:00

So please do not listen to online losers saying you'll end up in jail for starting a conversation.

we are not listening to the losers. We are listening to women who say that they dont want it

We are listening to women say that talking to a woman anywhere except in scenarios where it is expected is harassment and shows that we think we are entitled to their time and attention - this is clearly a capital offense

Contrapuntobrowniano · 2024-05-10T17:23:30+00:00

Yes, and it is also easy as fuck to lose time, energy and money in women and getting Absolutely nothing in return. In fact, this very comment will attract the "women don't owe men nothing" bitches.

BrainMarshal · 2024-05-11T02:09:54+00:00

This thread can't seriously be serious.

Motor-Buy-6991 · 2024-05-10T14:04:18+00:00

I’m an awkward man so it’s over for me regardless

thedarkracer · 2024-05-10T14:08:20+00:00

So please do not listen to online losers saying you'll end up in jail for starting a conversation.

These things have happened to our friends irl. Online is a safe space to share this as it can't be traced back to us.

biscuitcatapult · 2024-05-10T14:12:04+00:00

I’ll debate on a technicality. It has “never” been easier? Nope. It was way easier about 10-15 years ago.

Is it easier than it was 1-2 years ago as your claim? I’d agree to that. A lot of people are finally dusting off their social anxiety that followed from being isolated during the pandemic.

Historical_Spinach83 · 2024-05-10T16:02:41+00:00

Sure…

MelodicCrow2264 · 2024-05-10T14:23:08+00:00

You forgot that this only applies if you’re Chad

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-05-10T15:07:34+00:00

Was there ever a period in men actually did approach random women in the street and ask them out? There are obviously social settings where initiating a conversation with a woman you don’t know is acceptable, but putting on a fedora going around greeting every women you meet with “M’lady” and asking her out will not only make you an object of ridicule, but is likely to get you arrested for being a public nuisance

icixnik4 · 2024-05-10T14:30:27+00:00

Not sure, I think cold-approaching might have become harder as it is such a rarity nowadays so many introverted women are weirded out by it.

However I think in general it's getting easier to stand out as a man and be "above average" in most aspects nowadays since modern man are less masculine and disciplined.

At the same time there is probably more discipline required today because instant gratification is so readily available.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-05-10T15:19:37+00:00

Good way to approach a woman: Try to make eye contact, establish some kind of rapport (could be a compliment on something other than looks), go from more vague to more specific. then say something "had a great time talking. maybe we go (mutual interest/something you talked about)

Bad way to approach a woman: (no initial interaction beforehand) Can I have your number? Wanna go out? Wanna come to my (house/hotel room/car/etc)

Exciting-Parfait-776 · 2024-05-10T16:33:45+00:00

When your friends said they aren’t being approached anymore. Did they start approaching me to compensate for the lack of men approaching them?

Jaded-Worldliness597 · 2024-05-10T14:01:55+00:00

Seriously... this is why I dropped the dating apps. I get so much action from talking to women in person that the apps are useless to me.

Here is the caveat. Straight forward approaches are much less acceptable than ever before. So, you have to be able to do this correctly. My advice to young men is to think of a fun conversation that fits the current situation, have about a 5 minute talk, where you show off your confidence and humor. If that goes well just tell her something like "I feel like we really clicked. Would you be willing to give me your number? I have to get going, but I would like to get to know you more." Then just take it to text.

I think what women really dislike today is awkwardness, surprise sexual advances, and pressure. Just avoid those 3 things and it should be Ok.

ilike18yoblackpussy · 2024-05-11T01:22:58+00:00

Cost/benefit. First, there aren't that many women I find extremely attractive where I live. And people in general are spread out over a big area. Secondly, cold approaches don't have a high rate of success.

So, in order to find women I want to approach, I'd probably end up running around the city all day. And when I do find women to approach, I'd get a high rate of rejection. Doesn't seem to be worth the trouble.

wtknight · 2024-05-10T14:51:56+00:00

If a man doesn’t know how to approach then he may come across as creepy, though. So maybe it’s not a good idea for all men to approach until they learn how to properly do it, anyway.

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BoostKick_NotWorking · 2024-05-11T03:30:07+00:00

This post is disingenuous and OP is very much biased in his description of what is actually the main problem with why men aren't approaching women as much anymore.

Yes approaching has never been easier, but at the same time even if you get the chance to strike a conversation with a women who doesn't immediately find you creepy, there is nothing, outside of love at first sight, stopping her from refusing to reciprocate the attraction you feel towards her, and there is especially nothing stopping her from just straight up rejecting anything you say or do to try to win her over.

You can approach her, buy her a drink, show her a good time, do everything perfectly and 99.9% of women will not care because you're not who they want, or they will walk away thinking you were just doing it out of the kindness of your heart and not think twice about it, this doesn't only apply to average men, "Chad" isn't exempt from women feigning ignorance (for a lack of better word) either. Really ask yourself why would any women say yes to 1 random dude when there's 8 bazillion other guys she can pick from, and 1/2 specific men she herself personally wants and will put in her own effort to get them to fall/ask her out.

It doesn't matter what kind of man you are; celebrity, low value, high value, etc. If a women doesn't care enough about you and doesn't care enough to outright say yes to you trying to court her, cut your loses and move on, and this is where a lot of men are finding themselves now and why they aren't approaching because it's a lose/lose situation regardless of any outcome that isn't a very specific one that only women themselves can dictate.

Women may be saying they want to be approached, but I think this is strictly performative and an appeal to society:

"Oh woe is me, men aren't approaching me anymore ~"

Meanwhile, they have several people genuinely trying to get to know them even on a platonic level and most women couldn't care less for very obvious social reasons.

Ok-Entertainer-1401 · 2024-06-19T05:54:08+00:00

Don't approach women. It just validates her, and rejection is humiliating. No average man is going to do well at approaching.

Commercial_Tea_8185 · 2024-05-10T14:29:07+00:00

I got approached this morning 😂 it happens a lot.

He wasnt mean or creepy, but being approached does always immediately put me on edge because you never know, at face value, if this guy is just being nice vs if hes gonna be a creep.

Ive been approached enough times that ended up being scary/dangerous that now Im always ready for that to be the case

Expensive-Tea455 · 2024-05-10T20:58:31+00:00

Most women don’t want to be cold approached unless it’s by a guy who’s her type and meets her standards… we don’t like being approached by men we 1000% know we don’t want, especially if they can’t handle rejection and become aggressive when you try to say no to them… so this is why a lot of women don’t like it 🙃

Patrickstarho · 2024-05-10T17:16:55+00:00

I always felt the not approaching argument was cope for it being a terrifying experience.

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-05-10T14:41:41+00:00

I think that guys look at approaching in the wrong way. They put it up on a pedestal, as if approaching a woman is an all or nothing affair. He either has to succeed and find his next wife OR he risks getting rejected and having his little ego crushed forever.

So they put so much pressure on themselves and have all these over expectations. The reality is approaching is just the first step in the mating dance. And if you try to approach a woman so you can get something from her (approval, a phone number, a date, sex?), you will always fail. Why?

Approaching because you want to get/obtain something is basically objectification. You know nothing about the person other than how they look but you have already made a decision you want to get them. Why? Do you walk into the first car dealership, point to a car and say "I want this one, how much?". Most people I know will spend weeks reading reviews online, asking for opinions from trusted friends and experts, watch videos and do all kinds of research before they commit to something like buying a car. Or buying a house. Hell, even buying clothes. Most people want to try a few things on before they decide.

But men see a pretty face or a nice rack and they HAVE TO HAVE HER! Says who? When you make a decision about a woman so quickly and have over expectations that everything should go well, you naturally fall into salesman mode. You want her, but don't know if she wants you, so now you have to sell yourself to her. And by doing that, the woman realizes that you are not a quality guy or the prize she was hoping would approach her. You are just another guy who thinks he has to earn her, impress her, prove himself to her. That actually makes women feel bad because they don't want a man who is ready to bend over backwards for them. It's not appealing.

So if a guy changes his approach slightly, instead of going there with an all or nothing attitude, if instead he says "she looks attractive, I wonder if she is a quality person that is worthy of my time. I will chat her up and find out". Do you think a guy like this would try to sell himself or prove himself? He has no reason to, because he doesn't know if wants her yet. She may be a bitch, a bore, rude. She may tell him "Ewww, go away". If that's how she reacts to a stranger who chats her up respectfully, why would you want her? It's like walking into a car dealership and the salesman is rude to you or ignores you. Do you feel rejected and feel bad? Or do you say "I will never buy from a business that treats their customers so poorly".

That's the secret to approaching. Don't do it to get something from a woman. Do it because you are curious to learn about her so you can decide whether you want her or not.

Anominon2014 · 2024-05-10T14:59:58+00:00

In a time when most young men have no idea how to just be polite, respectful, amd courteous, it’s not hard to stand out. It’s very easy to chat up a lady nowadays, and impressing them is too often as easy as not being a douche bag. I’m at an age that I never really thought I’d still be “in the game” so to speak, but it’s easier now than it’s ever been.

Economy-Shake-1448 · 2024-05-10T15:12:34+00:00

What is men’s anger with “MeToo”? MeToo was women who were angry about sexual harassment. Talking to a woman in a respectful manner is not going to get you a sexual harassment claim.

Dagenius1 · 2024-05-10T14:53:48+00:00

I starting telling young guys that post pandemic would be a great time to meet women in person. I stand on the idea that working on approaching women is one of the best uses of time for any young single man.

Full bias I was a cold approacher when I was single. It’s the best way to go

OpticalEpilepsy · 2024-05-10T14:23:25+00:00

So please do not listen to online losers saying you'll end up in jail for starting a conversation.

Some men hate women so they deliberately mischaracterize women as likely to accuse a man of sexual harassment when he respectfully attempts to talk to her and walking away if she says no

Doing so is scary, most men don't have the courage and that's how they feel better about themselves.

It's not scary talking to women. You don't have to worry about her being violent and it's very unlikely that she'll be rude. The disincentive is the low likelihood of her being interested. By interested I don't mean she's simply willing to respond to you and have a conversation I mean that it will amount to a relationship, sex, or something significant like that. This isn't a big deal for incidental situations where you were there anyways so you aren't losing much of any time to talk to her but it makes it more discouraging to consistently go to a bar or some place like that specifically to approach.

In reality it has never been easier

I would argue culturally in the US people are less interested in talking to strangers than they used to be

I never had any issue from approaching women. Never been called a creep or whatever, the times i've been rejected women were mostly sorry not to reciprocate praising my courage thanking me for the cool interaction'

I've also never had false sexual harassment charges, called a creep, "Eww" or any other taco bell is authentic mexican food people things like that but it's fair to say a very low chance of success is an issue. The examples rule 6 men present of "false sexual harassment" charges are always dubious or something like this where they try to defend the creep's behavior directly or with a whataboutism.

RahLyt · 2024-05-10T14:34:40+00:00

I've been saying this for the longest. It has never been easier. Most guys are gaslighting themselves.

It has never been easier to approach women

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