Describe the average man dating experience ?

The_Texidian · 2024-06-18T17:21:52+00:00

When looking at age and gender together, 63% of men under 30 describe themselves as single, compared with 34% of women in the same age group. Younger men are also far more likely than older men to be single – a pattern that is not as straightforward among women. Women ages 18 to 29, for example, are just as likely as women 65 and older to report being single.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/

It depends on what you consider average. The average age of a man is probably in the 40s for the US. So odds are they’re probably married or partnered.

However since you’re talking about dating on Reddit. I’m assuming you mean younger 18-29 demographic of men. To that, it sucks.

Honestly this is my experience with people so far in my 20s. It seems like most men I know are single yet every woman I meet is not.

527east · 2024-06-18T17:43:38+00:00

Besides it sucks?

Hoopy223 · 2024-06-18T18:35:25+00:00

I don’t really agree with your description of the average guy lol.

Average man dating is about 6-12months of singledom before meeting someone to date. That’s a mean statistical average taken from tinder. Women I think it was 2-4 weeks.

Most men seem to have their first sexual experience in college so that could qualify as another average milestone.

This assumes people in their 20s and 30s actively looking. No idea what over 40 or 50 metrics are like.

You also have a large swath of young men who aren’t having relationships sex at all over long periods of time. This seems to account for 20-30%.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-06-18T18:05:21+00:00

Someone needs to make a “Describe that average woman dating experience?” thread so that we can see the gulf that exists between the sexes

ktdotnova · 2024-06-18T20:17:37+00:00

Average men don't even get average women lol. Most men date downwards in looks.

BackToTheMoon_ · 2024-06-18T17:44:00+00:00

Some hook ups every now n then

A girlfriend or 2

Little success on dating apps

Settling with his match

Hopefully not raising someone elses bastard

MotleyCrew1989 · 2024-06-18T18:13:40+00:00

Scarce and boring most of the time

AlmostKindaGreat · 2024-06-18T19:47:49+00:00

Everybody else seems to be talking about quantity, defining the average guy as "successful" because he is able to find some LTRs and eventually get married and he should be happy with this. I don't disagree that this should be considered success, at least on paper. What is harder to examine and measure is quality of treatment in those relationships.

Obviously more attractive men have more options. But the biggest difference between the experience of an average man and a well above average man, in a way that actually affects his happiness, is how much he is valued by women with whom he is in a relationship. Not all relationships provide the same degree of happiness and satisfaction.

I've fluctuated between what I would consider a 5 to 9 in attractiveness over the course of my life. My anecdotal experience is as follows.

As a 5-6: I chase women and convince them to give me a chance. I put in maximum effort to win them over while they keep me at arm's length, considering their other options, and wait to be impressed. Once they decide to enter into a relationship with me the rush of emotions makes her value me very highly for the honeymoon period. I get a euphoric amount of affection, consideration, and respect. After that she considers me a "good enough" boyfriend and enjoys the benefits that brings but the affection I enjoyed in the honeymoon phase is rare.

As an 8-9: I'm on equal footing with women and we both put in effort from day 1. She brings her best and tries to please me with presence, kindness, pleasantness, and great sex. I get that top level of affection from the beginning. If we get into a relationship I continue to be valued very highly throughout. While the fever pitch of energy during courtship is not sustainable, I see constant effort from her to try to keep me happy.

These are just my experiences and I'm sure some average guys have great stories and very attractive men have terrible sob stories. Sometimes guys just end up with fantastic or terrible women no matter what their "league" is.

Still, as stated above, I believe that the biggest difference between the experience of an average and top man is the quality of treatment within a relationship, not necessarily the quantity of relationships. Or at least that is the difference that most affects his happiness.

Salt_Alternative_86 · 2024-06-18T17:49:02+00:00

Foodie calls

NoFapGymColdShowers · 2024-06-18T22:27:51+00:00

idk, all i know is that being born a woman would be better for alot of guys

neinhaltchad · 2024-06-18T17:20:40+00:00

Average men need to make a friend of rejection (like Colonel Kurtz in Apocalypse Now) or he’ll have a good chance of dying a virgin.

Modern society, I’m afraid, is not preparing young men or women to handle rejection, but this hurts men’s dating prospects far more than women’s for obvious reasons.

krackedy · 2024-06-18T17:09:51+00:00

The average guy has a couple relationships, maybe a hookup, and then settles down to get married and have kids.

He gets rejected regularly but still finds success.

one_ball_policy · 2024-06-18T17:58:58+00:00

Struggling to get any attention. Being told to “be yourself” as if you’ve just been pretending to be someone else your whole life. Being hated on because women make bad choices and you’re automatically associated with them. Going to gym. Getting a little bit more prospects. Probably marry some girl who settles for you and never really loves you but was convinced you’d be good for her. 60% divorce. Have everything you worked for taken from you and then society wonders why men are unaliving themselves.

All the while women complain about how hard they have it in dating lmao

iamtheSenate____ · 2024-06-18T18:23:53+00:00

The average younger generation man lives in a bleak situation with regards to dating. Runaway hypergamy and female entitlement are pushing ever increasing numbers of men out of the dating market and creating legions of incels and RP men and driving them towards the manosphere and content creators like hoe math. RP don’t proselytize, women RP men themselves. We’ll probably start to see the majority shift to black pill as women’s insane standards and unrealistic expectations about what they deserve continue this trend as most of the traits women are rejecting men for are immutable. It’s ironic that a study from 2009 started a principle that has never been more relevant (80/20).

Edit: Any guy that tries to expose this fact is shamed and has his manhood insulted and is gaslit into oblivion. Case in point: Look how quickly one of the most popular posts in recent memory on here got taken down because the blue pill and rad fem mods didn’t like what it was proving.

Ass-a-holic · 2024-06-18T18:58:53+00:00

All the females replying should describe the average man.

I’m thinking the average guy is invisible to women so they are actually describing an above average guy

Jello_Vivid · 2024-06-18T19:49:41+00:00

I think it's rough especially in this modern age when we have a huge shift towards online dating and no third spaces for people to hang out in well specifically with the economy many people not being able to afford to do many things. I think an average guy could potentially ask friends or family for a setup to get dates as this is more likely than the results the average guy gets from online dating when it's probably one date every three months if you are lucky. Not to be a doomer but I only see it getting worse in the short term but who knows in the long term.

Sudden_Difference432 · 2024-06-18T19:55:08+00:00

Shit

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T22:31:06+00:00

The average guy is 5'9, not much muscle, and around 190. Chubby, plain faced dad bod. He's serotonergic by his 30s, losing hair, and makes perhaps 50k-80k.

In short, he is low energy, unattractive, beaten down a bit, and rather desperate and pedastalizes women.

Predictably, his dating experience is not that great. Most women pass him by. More desperate to settle down ones will eventually hit him up, but he will be second choice with low attraction. Essentially, he will serve as an ATM machine that gets occassional sympathy sex. He will never have a wife that is desperate for his cock.

A few will get lucky. They will meet a women who they just happen to be "their type" and his medicore looks will evoke some desire in her. These relationships will start happy, but his averagness and pairbonder nature will destroy any attraction she has within half a decade.

The worst part is that it's all readily avoidable. Get to sub 15% body fat, lift waits a few times a week, and have good male friends so you can resist her gaslighting and guilting and maintain dignity.

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2024-06-18T18:12:52+00:00

The average guy is quite shy and rejection averse therefore he doesnt try with many women.

The average guy will be called a creep by most women for trying. Especially in an age of OLD where actually approaching or talking to someone is considered creepy.

You call them rejection averse, but rejection is the norm for men, even for players. Women are rejection averse. I have been successful, but the number of women I have rejected who lashed out and called me a f4g or racial slur or insulted me in some other way is quite noticeable.

Maybe 2-3 female friends over his lifestime will hit on him and he is likely to miss the hints anyway.

The masters of communication and empathy don't communicate well, it seems. But you are half right.

If you notice the signal, that is your moment, as an average man. Shoot your shot. Don't cold approach, it doesn't work.

Note how most women seem to say: A relationship never develops out of a friendship. That's the friend zone.

You have to notice a signal in the very early stages or you fail. If you let a friendship develop, it is usually too late.

Once he does actively pursue women, the average guy ends up finding a girlfriend

It's good not to be average.

the average guy doesnt get away with being abusive and gets dumped relatively easily when he fucks up

He doesn't even have to fuck up.

Overall: All the burden is put on men. Is that is?

Ok-Entertainer-1401 · 2024-06-18T20:22:45+00:00

Average men have no hope in 2024.

kalecikkarasi · 2024-06-18T17:48:39+00:00

I see there is much confusion about what the average is.

Statistically average population means +%34, -%34 range from the median/mean/mode (Normal distribution). So average guys are %68 of the general male population. They have an average height (160-180cm, 5'3"-5'11"), average BMI, average education, average income, etc. Above average is %13.5 of the general male population, they are some of the actors, models, CEO, etc. And the top guys are %2.35 of the general male population, think of them as Elon Musk, Obama, NBA players, top actors etc.

Actually, nearly all the girls and guys in this sub are probably average people.

Experiences of people vary, we are talking about lots of people here. It's safe to say average women have better luck in dating than average men. And OLD especially Hell for average men because they may lack the traits that make them stand out in the crowd of online catalogs. In real life, they eventually marry and have kids, and probably are happier than above-average peers.

sexual_powerhouse · 2024-06-18T22:58:05+00:00

This would heavily depend on location and age.

A mid dude living on a college campus is going to have a completely different experience than some normal 30 year old who works in tech.

Immediate-School-952 · 2024-06-18T18:23:05+00:00

Probably rasing a child that isn't even his own while the wife he loves is thirsting over another dude that if she gets the chance she will sleep with🙌🏾.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-06-18T17:21:52+00:00

Average lifetime sexual partners for both men and women is 4-7. That means most dudes date, get into LTRs (where they get sex) with maybe one or two casual encounters before they find the right girl that they fall in love with and settle down.

And most dudes are ok with this.

Salt-Zone-122 · 2024-06-19T02:53:32+00:00

He matches with "Abby," then gets called hideous by women on this subreddit who lost track of what average looks like.

RosieBarb · 2024-06-18T17:07:56+00:00

From what I see, average guys get girlfriends and eventually marry one. Average guys have kids. Average guys get divorced at the same rate as everyone else.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2024-06-18T18:18:16+00:00

I can describe my dating experience, I don't know what 'average' is and not interested in debating what that is.

bzl33 · 2024-06-18T19:24:50+00:00

the average guy dates/marries one of the first few women who shows interest in him. active pursuit is largely a failure but he does get matches or finds people he is compatible with.

CraftyCooler · 2024-06-18T20:09:33+00:00

I am totally average though not shy and rejection is something i just consider part of life. You described it pretty well. Once I was active - it was relatively easy to find a date, though they were usually some feminist/liberal/university type girls - so it took a bit of lying to be successful with them, but they fall for such 'progressive' bs quite easily.

Cool_Sand4609 · 2024-06-19T12:58:28+00:00

I think the average male will be able to date and get a relationship. It's the below average 5ft6 men like myself who are simply fucked.

princedune · 2024-06-19T14:39:46+00:00

Maybe 2-3 female friends over his lifestime will hit on him and he is likely to miss the hints anyway.

idk 2-3 seems too high

VWGUYWV · 2024-06-19T16:02:34+00:00

Average guys just want a woman that isn’t hideous or abusive

Gravel_Roads · 2024-06-18T17:30:58+00:00

Being average across the board, the average guy struggles to stand out in a crowd of contemporaries, and might get overlooked more than people with above-average looks, talent or charisma, but in one-on-one interactions, most people have no complaints because their average opinions don't tend to be extreme or offensive.

Eventually, the average man meets a few average woman (and in this case, specifically "average" means "to the same socio-economical sphere as himself") who can appreciate the stability that a consistently average person can provide, and some will date him. If he has an average social life, at some point, probably in college, he will have a hook-up or three that are entirely dependent on "time and place" (ie he's in an environment like a dorm party/house party) where he's horny at the same time some random woman is horny, and they will have average, unremarkable sex that is exciting for both of them mostly because they don't usually do casual hook-ups, so it'll be a good memory even if the sex was "blah".

The average man can learn and adapt, so each subsequent relationship he has, he'll have a slightly better handle on what he wants and what he's willing to give and, considering the average man is married (67.85% of ALL American men are currently married), he will eventually perfect his "boyfriend" game enough to find a girl he's comfortable with long-term, and who is comfortable with HIM long-term, so they'll marry and have average sex whenever they can both be bothered at the same time.

wtknight · 2024-06-18T17:10:58+00:00

The average man either has a girlfriend at some point during a given year (maybe not for that long), or he has occasional casual or semi-casual sex with a friend, someone from an activity group, or someone whom he has met off of an app.

The average man has sex at least once a year. Survey data make this clear, even if there are a substantial number of below average men not having sex, girlfriends or even dates. One user even did the analysis to show that average men are having regular sex.

Men not having sex need to reconcile themselves with the fact that they are below average.

ktdotnova · 2024-06-18T20:20:40+00:00

The average guy, if they were women, would also be like celebrities on dating apps.

Direct-Alternative70 · 2024-06-18T22:05:29+00:00

I feel so sorry for guys in the dating pool rn

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-06-18T17:09:24+00:00

This is an apt metaphor:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sisyphus?wprov=sfti1#

apresonly · 2024-06-18T17:05:26+00:00

some average guys are good at talking to women and run through women.

some average guys are shy or not good at talking to women and struggle to get any women.

szclimber · 2024-06-19T02:38:42+00:00

A lot of rejection, a lot of settling and difficult compromises. About 1/3 of average men who are in a relationship are in a healthy and happy relationship.

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macdaddy0800 · 2024-06-18T21:21:51+00:00

When I was in my teens and early 20s , if a woman was loitering around we'd go for it, the kiss, the grope or the inner thigh finger tip touch but backing off and letting her anticipation get the better of her.

Never got turned down, ever.

Didn't date most of them.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2024-06-18T22:29:29+00:00

Median sex partners is around 6, so you can expect him to have sex with 4-6 girls and get married.

DoinIt989 · 2024-06-19T04:48:19+00:00

The average man marries a 5/10 he meets when he's 16-22 years old. He might be with her for decades, or they might get divorced after 10-20 years of marriage and then he bops around. Or he has kids and decides not to date for a bit.

PPD has a very skewed view of the "average" man vs woman. The "average" man in the US is 40-55 years old, about 5'8-5'11", 180-210lbs and not muscular, did a couple college classes but dropped out, has been married before (might still be married), has a kid or 2, makes like $40-90k a year.

wagnerlight · 2024-06-19T08:59:22+00:00

Miles long of shallow interactions and repeat answer

peterpansen1338 · 2024-06-19T10:33:49+00:00

Empty wallet, rejection and the regret of not having played games or other things with friends. Also another lost evening butttt if on the rare occasion you do find someone I still think its worth it cause otherwise why even go to work or achieve anything outside of the basement cave

Organic-Reason3505 · 2024-06-20T00:16:16+00:00

Non-existing or with a fat, ugly, unattractive women. Average women only date up or stay single.

Nevamst · 2024-06-21T14:22:40+00:00

Looking at the men in my life (~60ish guys, in the age range of 20-35, mostly nerdy) I would describe the median of their dating experience as "non-existent". These median and below guys are kissless virgins, who might've had a few chances in their lives but were too afraid or unknowing to take them. Their social circles exist of pretty much only men who share their interest where there are pretty much no women, so they have no organic ways to get opportunities for dates. At some point in their 20's they will try online dating and fail miserably when they get 0 matches. And then they will give up on dating completely. Some get lucky in their 30s and just happen to run across a woman in their work or hobbies that they just click with and start dating, but most wont.

Now there's of course a bunch of guys above the median that have good dating lives (me included), but over half of the guys I know have non-existent dating lives.

McPigg · 2024-07-17T19:01:12+00:00

Most guys i know arent shy or desperate. They have girlfriends and it either works out or it doesnt, if not they get maybe 1-3 random hookups then find someone again to try building a long term thing with. The chronically single men are outliers in my social circle, and its usually because they are weird in some way

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-06-18T18:19:39+00:00

The average guy where I'm from...is Australian. And if he's a young guy he's probably working in hospitality or a service industry of some sort. He's a lot less shy than you describe, although still somewhat averse to rejection.

Unusual_Implement_87 · 2024-06-18T23:18:21+00:00

Based on my experience growing up all of the average ethnic men I know either got an arranged marriage or tried and failed to date in their 20s and ended up getting an arranged marriage in their 30s.

Out of my average white friends they were able to get maybe two or three relationships between high school and their 30s with large gaps between girlfriends. All of them also dated down and weren't 100% happy with their partners, they just took what they could get. They also struggled with casual sex, maybe getting lucky between 0 to 3 times a year.

harmonica2 · 2024-06-18T17:07:27+00:00

I used to be the shy guy, but am much more bold now than I used to be and have a gf now.

sweetalison007 · 2024-06-18T18:40:14+00:00

Most men are married. Most people look average so...

I think people here are inflating two very different dating experiences dating experience of the average Joe, and truly ugly men.

boom-wham-slam · 2024-06-20T12:28:32+00:00

Not average. Never been average. Just guessing from what I see of friends and acquaintances... average men hardly get any dates. When they do its some meh woman who treats them like shit. They often get pussy whipped because they are desperate for even a shitty girlfriend OR they don't really care about their girlfriend because they realize she's shit but the best they likely will get.

SaBahRub · 2024-06-18T17:33:29+00:00

You just described it, lol

AliceLoverdrive · 2024-06-18T18:10:55+00:00

Most men are actively looking for a partner and view all social interaction through that lens, and that is like the most undateable thing I can possibly imagine.

paputsza · 2024-06-19T03:17:58+00:00

I’d say, get a gf some time in middle school to high school once he reaches a little sexual maturity or depending on his hierarchy in his boy-girl friendship group. This is childhood though. Later on he becomes a bonefied sex-enjoyer and goes from girlfriend to girlfriend, developing as a partner along with his girlfriends. Hopefully. He continues to meet women, they become a little more direct, and he gets better at reading their vibes to him, and finds an adult woman with whom he enjoys life more when she’s around so he feels like he can marry her and he wants to have kids so he marries her.

The dating changes to what the girl he’s dating will accept, but he will lean towards politeness and opening doors, pulling out chairs, and paying for dinner if he doesn’t know her well.

Title	Describe the average man dating experience ?
Author	Jazzlike_Worth_9908
Upvotes	33
Comments	465
Date	June 18, 2024 5:04 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1divqny/describe_the_average_man_dating_experience/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/describe-the-average-man-dating-experience.1521951 https://theredarchive.com/post/1521951

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