Do men actually have it better dating wise ?

SecondEldenLord · 2023-04-08T00:28:36+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SDW137 · 2023-04-08T00:51:10+00:00

Guys who are rich and attractive are doing quite well in the dating game. "Normal" guys have it worse than most women.

Gomdgomd · 2023-04-08T01:22:08+00:00

Does a person who can walk into a grocery store have an advantage over a subsistence farmer?

odd_cloud · 2023-04-08T00:36:23+00:00

Depends on what kind of man. You wrote “when a woman is interested in me”. For some (many) guys it happens quite rarely. If it’s often, then it’s not bad, fair.

Also, someone’s ability to find sex strongly correlated with ability to date. If you have difficulties finding sex, then it’s difficult to find a date as well.

shrimp_dicks · 2023-04-08T00:53:02+00:00

As a man , when a woman is interested in me i know it comes from genuine reasons, i do not need to be cautious about being tricked or manipulated simply because she doesnt have to i know she chose me over multiple other men

This isn't true at all. There are plenty of women who will say yes to a date with a guy they aren't sexually attracted to because they want free shit, whether it be food, attention, or status.

There's also women that continue fucking her fwb(s) while other guys are seriously courting her. Sometimes even telling the fwbs what's going on. But not the future boyfriend of course.

There are also women in long term relationships with men they don't respect because they want the family life with a guy they can control. Or they want stability etc.

The average guy has few chances to do any of that bullshit, but plenty of chances to experience it. That's why lots of guys aim for, then stop at sex.

There's more risks too (cheating on her current partner etc) but that's just off the top of my head.

As a guy me saying "i just want to have sex, for now" means i'm being "ingenuine" according to you. But women get to do all that shit and it doesn't count as being ingenuine for some reason.

THAT'S disrespect. Refusing to commit further because you can't trust a girl is just protecting yourself.

Teflon08191 · 2023-04-08T07:40:35+00:00

Being spoiled for choice will always be better than being starved for choice except in one specific and disappointingly common scenario: The person doing the choosing is terrible at making good choices.

hari_hbp · 2023-04-08T02:15:41+00:00

Nah, as long as the majority of men are still the ones asking out ---> women will always have it easier in dating.

shadowofdoubt13 · 2023-04-08T00:29:56+00:00

Depends if you’re an attractive guy or not.

RP-MJ · 2023-04-08T00:38:39+00:00

Yes men definitely have it harder

Otherwise all this dating podcasts wouldn't exist for guys

Like l literally don't see a female Myron giving tips on how to become successful in every metric dating wise

Most men are forced to be single and a virgin but most women can be single by choice

We always get articles on the internet about how women are happy being single while men are out here deleting themselves

SillyMushroomTip · 2023-04-08T00:36:24+00:00

Women have it easy for Sex and Dating.

Men get crumbs

Royal-Tip4585 · 2023-04-08T05:22:43+00:00

0-6/10: women have it better

7-10/10: men have it better.

Does that make sense?

Kliere · 2023-04-08T00:14:10+00:00

I think you suffer from the same issue I do. Sometimes it's really hard for me to see it from the perspective of a guy who is invisible to women because that's not the life I've lived.

Dstar538888 · 2023-04-08T08:00:03+00:00

I feel like women would still have more options compared to an average man…. Even if she does have some unfavorable experiences, she can replace him a lot easier if she really wanted to

Traditional-Bad-4055 · 2023-04-08T00:22:03+00:00

It’s better for very attractive men than for attractive women imo.

After that I’d say it leans towards women for the most part depending on what you’re measuring against but primarily because men are simps and it seems a lot of women are cool with just checking out of dating entirely

grown_folks_talkin · 2023-04-08T01:11:17+00:00

Women have it easier, but it's sort of like being a pitcher instead of a hitter in baseball. The pitcher has the advantage in every at-bat, but expectations quickly develop so pitchers batting average against is only compared to other pitchers, not hitters.

To use an extreme example, women on IG with 10k followers aren't comparing themselves to thirsty dudes but to women who have 20k or more.

Trazyn_of_Infinity · 2023-04-08T01:30:18+00:00

Sure, if the man in question is attractive and neurotypical.

To be honest, the neurotypical part could probably be overlooked if the man was way, way above-average in physical attractiveness, but I’ve never seen that.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2023-04-08T00:13:47+00:00

There are tons of incels out there that will love you. Not so for men.

Phylum-Chordata · 2023-04-08T04:41:57+00:00

No, of course men don't have it easier than women, dating-wise. Don't be ridiculous.

Women are now the gatekeepers to both sex and relationships. Those men that you are talking about are the top 20 percent of men that all the women are sharing. In order for your assertion to be true, you have to ignore 80 percent of men.

What do you get when you participate in that kind of rotation? You get what you deserve. There is no sympathy coming from the MGTOW sphere for either you or your women.

I am above-average, but certainly not in the top 20 percent of men. I am looking for a relationship with a woman who is my equal, but they are not available. They either are chasing those top-tier men, with mental-healthy levels of disillusion, or they just don't want a relationship (probably because of past experiences with those same types of men).

If you are in the top 20 percent of men, and you are having no problem with women, then you are part of the problem that you are complaining about.

wtffellification · 2023-04-08T07:08:37+00:00

> once we hook a woman

Aye, you sure 'bout that, captain?

jah-roole · 2023-04-08T07:43:00+00:00

Yes. Some men are totally at an advantage. However, those are the minority. Most men are not socially equipped to reconcile what they see in media vs what they can get irl.

gunmacc · 2023-04-08T08:36:58+00:00

This is like “Rich people think poor people earn X amount, while poor people think rich people earn X amount (the actual same amount).

OP thinks sub 20% men have it harder than average women, but it is actually sub 80% men. The gap in both subjects, financial and dating, is so big that it is almost impossible to truly understand the other side of the gap.

carlenvirgo · 2023-04-08T09:12:04+00:00

It just makes it bad for everyone involved. Men with low self esteem, need sex to feel validated. They are angry at women for not wanting them, they then get resentful and engage in self destructive behaviors.

Women in turn, feel used and objectified, therefore either placating the men by sending sexy pictures thinking that’s the only way because it’s expected.

It’s a horrible downward spiral and the people that engage in casual sex are just perpetuating the problem.

It’s not helping society collectively or on a personal level. It’s just making people apathetic because no one has the strength to be vulnerable. People just remain unattached and avoidant to prevent themselves from rejection which is not how it works.

People need emotional connection, we are social beings. Keeping everyone in distance isn’t fixing anything, it’s just suppression.

In turn people become sex addicts, drug addicts, and self destruct. Babies born out of wedlock then invoke neglect and abuse.

It’s a easy, weak, indulgent and unhealthy means to live your life. No good comes from it.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-04-08T09:36:02+00:00

Not sure where you got that from, but I assume you got it from your experience as an attractive man cause people seem to think that whatever happens in their own little world think that this is how reality is, kinda like how 1 million dollars is a small loan for Donald Trump, because that is his world. Anyway, women have it a lot easier both sex and dating wise because men are not picky almost at all. They would almost date anything and have sex with anything while women can afford to be picky. Now you said that men manipulate and lie to women to get sex but that is only half true. Attractive men can do that, average and subaverage men cannot. And yes, you can still be tricked by women on dates, ever heard of foody call? Lots of women use men they are not attarcted to as meal tickets. There was even an article recently about a woman not having to pay for her groceries for 2 years because she used men on dates for her food.

So yeah, men have it a lot worse on dating, it's only the top 10% of men who have it easy on dating.

zaph239 · 2023-04-08T09:52:17+00:00

Women have it much easier, they date on the easy setting. Even a below average woman can get 100's of hits on dating sites and apps. All she has to do is filter out the bad guys and pick a decent one.

That isn't difficult, the problem is there is a divide between the man who uses a women for a one night stand and the one interested in a long term relationship. An average woman can bang a top 20% guy but they can't date or marry that guy.

That is what causes all the bitterness and resentment. Hookup culture gives women a deluded value of their true worth in the dating market.

Jazzlike_Worth_9908 · 2023-04-08T12:08:34+00:00

50% of men on dating sites are looking for an LTR.

That stat has just disproven your entire premise. Women have access to much more men who are looking for relationships than men do with women.

Women who are looking for LTRs can easily filter the other 50% out by expecting forms of commitment before sex takes place.

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-04-08T14:08:17+00:00

Women have it easier. Privilege is invisible to those who have it. Women have privilege in the dating market, they just refuse to see it, like most people who are privileged. The reason why they don’t see their privilege because that would require accountability for their poor choices. There’s a reason why throughout history and in some countries currently, the family chooses a man for their daughter, to protect the woman from picking poorly. Now women pick their own man and they’re still not happy. Women will always have options without even lifting a finger. Men have to earn their options and only a few men have the ability to get even 1 woman. Women just like to complain about things because nothing is ever enough for them. There’s a reason why there’s a stereotype about women complaining about everything, because it’s true.

According_Talk_3084 · 2023-04-08T01:04:09+00:00

As a man , when a woman is interested in me i know it comes from genuine reasons, i do not need to be cautious about being tricked or manipulated simply because she doesnt have to i know she chose me over multiple other men.

This is a very naive take. Don't fall for the lies of women on here pretending to want serious relationships. Think about it, if they'd really want serious relationships they'd mostly apply a "no sex before marriage" strategy, yet a lot of women do end up having casual sex and hookups nowadays.

As a woman the situation is so different, there are so many desperate horny men who are okay with misleading lieing manipulating women just to have sex with them even though they'd never pursue any relationship but they hide it knowing it would reduce their chances It must be exhausting never being able to trust men with such a high risk of deception, it must be so hard to invest in new relationship, it must hurt a lot to be used for sex. to never know whether your man is with you out of spite lacking other options

The solution to this problem is easy. No sex before marriage. Guess how many women do this though?

lonelyjoenly · 2023-04-08T09:32:47+00:00

As far as I can see it the issues of the dating scene boil down to this:

The problem for women is who to choose.

The problem for men is who they can get.

In this regard dating for women is only difficult if they are being selective while men on the otherhand are just trying to be selected.

It is more complicated than that ofcourse, women also take on most of the risk in dating in terms of biology. Women get pregnant, their maximum potential strength is lower than with men so are at more risk if the man gets violent. (abuse is more complicated than just relative physical strengths and obviously both genders perpetrate abuse but physical strength is a significant factor)

Other men make dating more difficult by cheating partly because they're hogging the dating pool but also makes women more guarded in future relationships. And similarly women inadvertently sabotage other womens chances. (like you know people would stop sending dick pics out on dating sites if it wasn't for that 1 in 10,000 women who are like "A poorly compositioned, poorly lit photograph of an erectile penis? Thank you kind sir! Yes, I shall send you all "teh nudez" henceforth! " ... OK I struggle to imagine this hypothetical woman but I wouldn't imagine people would do it so often if it never worked in their favour right? )

Dating for men and women is not the same, it's not really fair to compare them but I do think men are more likely to have to settle for someone who isn't quite who they're looking for than a woman is. Which again makes it harder for women to make a selection because she wants someone actually compatible not someone who has resigned themselves to try and make it work.

I think the worst thing for men is the stigma of not being in a relationship. Like if you can't get a woman to like you in that way then clearly you're a sex crazed piece of shit who hates women. Or just a moron. There is nothing inbetween.

Devourer_of_felines · 2023-04-08T10:29:40+00:00

As a man , when a woman is interested in me i know it comes from genuine reasons

The opportunity to score some free drinks counts as a genuine reason I suppose .

GrizzleGuts30 · 2023-04-08T03:07:10+00:00

No we don’t. We get the worst ends of it - women don’t see us as casual sex material, and expect us to wait weeks/months on end before they “trust” us to have sex with us. First it’s the physical aspect - we have to be super tall, rich, muscular and white. If you don’t make the cut, you’re shit out of luck. Then we have to be well-educated, financially-responsible and interesting, put up with a lot of arguments and grown-up discussions that the casual encounters don’t need to. We’re rarely a woman’s first choice during her prime.

anjovis150 · 2023-04-08T04:48:47+00:00

Khabeni412 · 2023-04-08T11:08:11+00:00

This only works if you're tall, rich, and handsome. Otherwise, dating and sex are always in favor of women. And women use men for sex too. I've had that done with me several times.

veleriphon · 2023-04-08T13:22:47+00:00

At present, no. It's a big shit show. Even if you're wealthy and good looking, you have to protect yourself from lecherous narcissists. I'm including women who aren't are also not lecherous narcissists. The short term mating strategy is just awful. We'll see how things progress.

sex_throwaway999 · 2023-04-08T00:39:10+00:00

very attractive men > very attractive women

average men < average women

very unattractive men > very unattractive women

DerekMorganBAUxxi · 2023-04-08T00:26:16+00:00

The average woman has it easier than the average man to get what she wants when she wants it.

But I’ve got it good personally so I ain’t complaining

LeaveNCountAlone · 2023-04-08T02:08:03+00:00

Yes! Nearly all the guys here shit all over the women for being duped (aka a pump and dump) by men and call them dumb cunts for going after the bad boy or not vetting our dates, but the thing is we do. We drill the shit out of guys on what they’re looking for, stalk the hell out of their social media profiles (if they even have one), etc. to make sure we’re going after someone genuine. But the problem is these guys make themselves look like the nice guy when they’re really lying straight to our faces. It does even matter how pretty we are - guys will pump and dump 8 and 9s because actually dating these women is not the goal -only the sex is. They know if they straight up said they only give us the time of day for easy sex they wouldn’t even make it to the first date. So there is no way for women to really know. Sure we get dates easier. But is it even worth it when you’re getting burned afterwards twice as much?

rockerroses · 2023-04-08T00:32:15+00:00

That’s a very good point you make. I will not lie and say I’ve never came across deceptive men, but I’m sure there is deceptive women as well. I think this is really based on the individual.

But I also think guys have it easier in the sense they can take the lead without being questioned. Sometimes women get seen as desperate for making a move, it shouldn’t be that way, but this is one of the many ways society prevents women from having any agency.

Treacle-Flimsy · 2023-04-08T05:50:39+00:00

No, men have it worse in almost every step of the way. Rejection, competition, ignorance are all the problems men deal with, not women. I've even made a thread once about experience of ugly girls, and despite it being tragic in some cases, most women actually managed to find a relationship in spite of their looks (By most women I mean most women in the thread), but if you were to compare it to the average guy experience, I'd rather be pumped and dumped than face radio silence until late twenties - thirties .

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-04-08T00:23:43+00:00

this makes the dating market worse

It’s simple; you either possess the skills to be successful, or you don’t. In any market. For women presumably it’s the ability to vet men appropriately. For men, you simply need to acquire ‘the tools’. To be successful.

Of the two, I’d much prefer being a man. As I enjoy challenges. I love women. I’d however never surrender all the privileges, that come with being a man.

Godspeed and good luck!

KayRay1994 · 2023-04-08T02:45:21+00:00

i don’t think anyone has it “better” - its simply different challenges for each gender, ie. men have to be the ones extending the initial hand and there isn’t nearly as much leeway to mess up - for women, there is the constant worry that he’s using you for sex, and especially in context of hetro dating, women usually have more wiggle room - ie. while for men there is less room to mess up, for women its very make it or break it early

Pathosgrim · 2023-04-08T05:32:50+00:00

Tbh in hindsight being invisible is far better than getting unwanted attention. There's a gift and a curse to both sides.

anon018274031 · 2023-04-08T08:56:32+00:00

There are pros and cons to being each gender, I don’t think anyone particularly ‘has it better’ because the experience is so different - men: If you are below average it’s harder to find a date. But it’s EASIER to find a relationship. - women: get manipulated and lied too, get used as a flesh light, at risk of violence/rape. Easier to find a date because he just wants to have sex with you, harder to find a relationship.

What would I personally prefer? I’d prefer to be a man in this dynamic (assuming I’d be average). Men get to gatekeep relationships and that’s ultimately what I want

FRlEND_A · 2023-04-08T06:29:23+00:00

women can choose now and yall men are panicking lmao so fucking sad

IfThisIsntAJokeBro · 2023-04-08T00:50:31+00:00

If someone can't find ANYONE it's their fault. Either gender!!!

SteveSan82 · 2023-04-08T07:49:42+00:00

My dating life improved when I turned 31. My best year was when I was 39. I had 3 plates last year while dating other women. This year I slept with 12 new women all under 26 and 1 plate that I didn’t dump.

enzoGrimm22 · 2023-04-08T11:03:13+00:00

Mens biggest problem in all of this is, imho, the unseriousness in which they date and interact with women.

The unserious nature of most men that date is many things, but the most prevalent is lying and pump'n'dump. And this is deff most men as most men dont pook for anything serious for a long time, just to have casual sex and pump'n'dump. But they know that most women are looking for seroius and genuine partners. So what do they do? They know they are not seriou and not genuine so....

...they lie... About just about anything in order to get into her pants, to squeez the juice, and then dip as if nothing happened.

Why do they do this? Many reasons: they dont wanna be tied to only a single woman , hatred of women, revenge fantasy, seeing it in movies and wanting to do the same ...

Who does this ? Every type of man. Beautiful , ugly, tall short, they all do it. Its psychological.

EmergencyWing7947 · 2023-04-08T19:48:10+00:00

Unpopular opinion

Women are sexually active beings looking for a man for guidance and protection.

There aren't many masculine men who women trust anymore. So there aren't many feminine women anymore.

AdamLakewood87 · 2023-04-08T00:21:00+00:00

Men have it the best

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Ok_Entrepreneur2931 · 2023-04-08T05:41:08+00:00

It doesnt sound like so much to me and it comes at a huge disadvantage : finding a long term relationship/a true bond

Most women can easily find that too lol. The majority of men don't have a lot of options, it's not like they're drowning in pussy and they'd be giving that up by committing to one woman.

Of course, it's still common for women complain about men not committing. Because they pursue the most desirable men that DO have more and better options.

when a woman is interested in me i know it comes from genuine reasons

You sure about that? Many if not most women are arguably gold-diggers and at least sometimes pick men for their money(sometimes stability and willingness to do housework as well).

who are okay with misleading lieing manipulating women just to have sex

Most of the time I've seen women complain about a man not committing, there was no deception or dishonesty about his intentions, or at least it's not clear that there was.

Either he never brought up the topic, he said it was a possibility but never promised anything, or he explicitly said it wouldn't be happening. They still feel entitled to commitment and get pissed when you don't give them that.

Stunning_Thing4208 · 2023-04-08T09:27:00+00:00

Depends on who you are, your status and what's the proportion of males to females.

LupeDyCazari · 2023-04-08T10:53:34+00:00

Hmmm, not sure about the average red piller and black piller, but most men around the world do decently enough, I'd say.

Seen and met plenty of average-looking(under 6 feet, not muscular, plain-face, low income earner)with conventionally attractive women, and they seem to be happy enough with each other.

Women don't get used for sex.

This isn't Saudi Arabia. A woman's value doesn't decrease every time she has sex, or every time she has sex with a new partner.

Women enjoy sex. So if a relationship doesn't work out, it's not like they get heartbroken over it, feeling used for sex, which they weren't.

96tillinfinity_ · 2023-04-08T12:30:00+00:00

Dating/sex guesstimate:

Conventionally good looking women have it the easiest (top 5%)
Conventionally good looking men have it the 2nd easiest (top 5%)
Majority of women 3rd easiest (say around 85%)
Majority of men, 4th (80-85%)
Bottom tier women in looks (say around 10%)
Bottom tier men in looks who are average earners (10-15%)

KingOnixTheThird · 2023-04-08T13:12:09+00:00

Do men actually have it better dating wise ?

The top 5% of guys (in terms of sexual market value) have it better than women and they're at the top in the dating hierarchy.

They don't have much difficulty with dating attractive women and sleeping with them or getting into a relationship. But unlike hot girls, they don't deal with the negative consequences of being hot. High value guys don't have to worry quite as much about being cat-called, sexually harrassed, stalked, to the extent that women go through. That's why the top 5% of men are at the top.

It's the guys in the bottom 90% that don't have it easier than women.

SAKK98 · 2023-04-08T13:58:19+00:00

Finally a man who understands. Honestly I feel like maybe men and women being attracted to each other is a big prank that God played on humanity. It's crazy how different we are and how different our desires/wants/needs/goals are. Men would be so much happier if they were attracted to men as they would get as much casual sex as they want. Women (at least I) would be happier if i were attracted to women as I would be able to find love without worrying about getting pumped and dumped. Yet God cursed us to be attracted to the opposite sex. It's very cruel and depressing.

MxMaster9907 · 2023-04-08T16:08:02+00:00

Depends

Quantity wise is not even close, women will get so much more dates and casual sex than men

Quality wise, yeah, you’re right there’s a lot of incels, ugly men, desperate men, andrew tate followers, etc. communication and emotional management are never popular solutions in some lf these man forums, so women are left with a pool of insecure desperate men

bootyhunter69420 · 2023-04-08T16:18:28+00:00

Only the top men

Objective_realiZt · 2023-04-08T16:55:57+00:00

If men had it better in dating, there wouldn't be so much pron on the internet to sedate men. Thinking about their failures in dating is catastrophic for men, so they gravitate to pr0n to basically escape their failures and rejection from women. Pron will never reject you. And it sure as fuck isnt healthy, but pron is mainly a male escapism. Women, when they get horny and needy, they have at least 5 guys on speed dial whom they can call and fuck.

If men had it easier in dating, why are the majority of dating coaches oriented towards men? Its a huge industry. How many dating coaches are geared towards helping women get laid?

Women dont really have any difficulties in dating. But they love the f0kboys because women are addicted to the emotional highs and lows. Its their analogy to pron. Men dont want the emotional rollercoaster....certainly not the lows. They want stability and calm sailing. THAT is boring for women.

Endasweknowit122 · 2023-04-08T17:20:05+00:00

You think chicks ain’t playa too??? That’s crazy

EmergencyWing7947 · 2023-04-08T19:40:48+00:00

Men and women both have it hard. It's different but hard in its own right. Men struggle with being noticed, but if a guy gets a good girl and is in a relationship, he won't have to worry much outside of his own fears and anxieties. Women can commit easier than men.

Women, on the other hand, are more vulnerable to emotional trauma and stress. Women will be approached 100 times, and only 1 of those 100 will actually be a serious proposal. However, that may come from the least confident/attractive guy. So, they have a hard time finding quality partners.

Personally, I just got into a relationship, and my gf has had 40 partners. I wasn't thrilled. I was disgusted and resentful. Months later, I realised 2 things about women. 1) They are whores and 2) If men were serious in daring there would be much less whores out there.

The reality is that women are sexual beings designed to have sex. They are even punished for not getting pregnant through periods (it's very hard for women). So logically being made for sex and having more opportunities to have sex would naturally make anyone a whore. Man or woman.

Men, on the other hand, have allowed themselves to be weak and insecure. Many men are seen as invisible, and they assholes women date are confident and actually approach. I've approached many women, even 10 in one night, and I've fallen victim to the 'many options' dilemma. However, I've seen women being emotionally and physically abused if not killed for their choices.

I see that men suffer more due to their lack of confidence and low self-esteem than anything else. Money and muscle will make you look good, but confidence will make women notice you.

Women suffer from having so many choices that they don't know who to choose. If I gave you 10 identical cars but only one was running, you'd also make mistakes finding the right one.

It's hard to understand, but women and men are just as vulnerable and complicit in their dating problems.

I think if men were taught to commit and be faithful to one woman and if woman were taught to use their natural nurturing instincts instead of sexual instincts, then maybe dating would be much better for everyone

Title	Do men actually have it better dating wise ?
Author	Jazzlike_Worth_9908
Upvotes	41
Comments	465
Date	April 8, 2023 12:11 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/12f4tdd/do_men_actually_have_it_better_dating_wise/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-men-actually-have-it-better-dating-wise.1213753 https://theredarchive.com/post/1213753

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