Why are women allowed to have needs but men are always not entitled to a relationship?

raisedonthemoon · 2024-07-10T21:34:14+00:00

You're talking about two very different situations. A person is never entitled to a relationship with someone who does not want to be in a relationship with them.

Once two people consensually enter into a relationship, there are usually parameters that both parties agree on - "needs" or whatever you want to call them. If one party doesn't want to uphold them or is unhappy, one or both parties can decide to end the relationship. Nobody in either situation is being made to do something against their will. A "need" is never something that only one side is agreeing to, that's not a consensual relationship.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2024-07-10T21:18:07+00:00

You can want whatever you want in life you just can’t force someone else to participate/do what you want. That’s why people say you’re not entitled to a relationship. If you want one strive for it; but there is no guarantees in life.
If you’re in a relationship and it’s not meeting your needs you can freely leave because just like before no one is forced to participate in something they don’t want to including a relationship. Now that doesn’t mean they’ll find another relationship, but if the possibility of being single is better than the relationship they have the freedom to go their own way. You can’t hold someone against their well.

I don’t understand why the pursue of happiness without taking away someone else’s freewill is so difficult to understand. Men can leave relationships in an attempt to pursue another with someone else or to stay single too.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2024-07-10T21:21:43+00:00

You're comparing dolphins to donuts.

Absolutely no one is entitled to a romantic relationship. Point, blank, period.

Now if you are in a relationship that is not fulfilling, you have the right to move on and find one that works better for you or attempt to work it out.

BigZaddyZ3 · 2024-07-10T21:23:02+00:00

“You have needs” = / = “you’re entitled to a relationship even if no one wants to be in one with you”

You’re comparing apples to oranges. Neither gender is entitled to a relationship if they can’t get someone to willingly be in one. And I agree that “you have needs” is a bad way to think about things because sex isn’t a need for either gender. (It’s a want). But I literally haven’t heard anyone tell women “you have needs” outside of cheesy old romcoms so I don’t know how many people in real life even use that phrase in relation to women.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-07-10T21:22:11+00:00

They're quite different situations. In one situation, the person is debating whether or not to persue somethong which is on offer to them. In the other, they just want something that no-one wants to provide, which would require someone being forced into somethong they don't want.

LiftSushiDallas · 2024-07-10T21:27:23+00:00

Two different situations.

A woman leaving a relationship isn't placing an obligation on anyone else.

A man NEEDING a relationship needs another person to PROVODE the relationship.

So in one case, the woman leaves an unhappy or situation she's dissatisfied with, placing NO obligation on another to provide her anything. The other man, if there is one, is wanting her.

Men "needing" a partner are placing an obligation on another.

AngeCruelle · 2024-07-10T21:17:45+00:00

Expecting random strangers to fulfill your needs =/= expecting your partner to fulfill your needs.

The only valid equivalent to a man feeling entitled to random strangers' affections is a woman feeling entitled to random strangers' affections. And imo, both are loco.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-07-10T21:27:08+00:00

These are two wildly different scenarios, but both are true.

No, you’re not owed a relationship.

Yes, if you’re not having your needs met in a relationship, you’re free to end said relationship.

Sorcha16 · 2024-07-10T21:31:48+00:00

Everyone is entitled to having needs no one is entitled to a romantic relationship.

EulenWatcher · 2024-07-10T21:43:50+00:00

People are free to seek opportunities, but they aren't entitled to success. Basically you can shoot your shot, you can seek greener pastures, but it isn't given that you'll get what you want and that's what we all live with. Hence, what you're talking isn't a double standard. Both men and women are free to seek company and to leave unfulfilling relationships.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2024-07-10T22:46:09+00:00

No one is entitled to a relationship but that doesn’t mean that if you get one you should stick around if your needs aren’t met.

This isn’t a double standard. It goes both ways.

SaBahRub · 2024-07-10T21:27:34+00:00

Women aren’t entitled to relationships either.

What “needs” are we talking about “? Standards? Those are mandatory either

gloomette · 2024-07-10T21:28:16+00:00

The difference here is free will. There’s nothing wrong with leaving your bf and finding someone who will willingly meet your “needs.” You can’t force someone to be in a relationship or have sex with you. You’re comparing two things that are not the same.

HomeworkFew2187 · 2024-07-10T21:22:53+00:00

you are not entitled to affection, relationships, or sex they are not needs. if a relationship isn't meeting your standards or isn't being a net positive. Yes you should leave. no double standards in this context "have needs", simply means seeking a better relationship that satisfies you.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2024-07-10T21:46:32+00:00

in what way is that a double standard?

bluestjuice · 2024-07-10T23:15:48+00:00

Both statements are true for people of all genders.

Women, men, and all others are not entitled to a relationship. A relationship takes two people mutually agreeing to be in relationship together, and able to agree on dynamics and expectations of that relationship. If one of the people decides to end that relationship, the relationship has ended. Likewise if two people can never agree to be in relationship together, then one doesn’t develop.

Women, men, and all others are also allowed to have needs. All people do, after all. One is expected to take responsibility for meeting one’s own needs and to respectfully navigate relationships with others when attempting to meet needs for companionship, sex with others, etc. Wanting to meet your needs doesn’t permit you to dictate the actions of others, but will generally impact your own actions.

Bekiala · 2024-07-10T23:34:53+00:00

I'm a bit confused here OP. "Women are allowed to have needs"? It seems like all people, men and women, have needs. "Allow" has nothing to do with it.

Sadly many times our needs aren't meant. That is life and it is tragic with children as they can be be permanently damaged. Irk. I suppose adults can be permanently damaged too.

As far as being entitled to a relationship no one is. Relationships have a life of their own. Anyone can put time and effort into a relationship and the friend/lover/child/relative develops a drug habit, mental health problem or gets run over by a truck and killed.

Even if you aren't entitled to a relationship, I hope you have many wonderful and fulfilling ones of all kinds.

Disastrous_Donut_206 · 2024-07-10T21:44:04+00:00

I'm 18 and I've never been in a relationship

Can we assume that you’ve never had friends before?

Because it’s extremely obvious that you aren’t entitled to anyone being your friend.

And it’s also extremely obvious that if someone isn’t a good friend to you, that you don’t have to continue being their friend.

That isn’t a double standard. There’s no conflict here.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-07-10T21:27:43+00:00

Saying that you need to get a good relationship and saying that you need to leave a bad relationship are not the same thing. Being single, perhaps having left that bad relationship, you don't have unmet needs, but may have unmet wants.

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-07-10T22:19:54+00:00

The law can't make people like you, respect you, want you, love you. These can't be legislated for.

Unhappy relationships in which someone is not getting needs met are also not the wonderland of joy for the slightly happier partner that your adolescent mindset seems to think they are.

Downtown_Cat_1173 · 2024-07-10T22:24:32+00:00

You are never entitled to someone else’s romantic attention, and you are always entitled to leave a relationship for any reason. That’s true for men and women.

The only time I judge people for leaving relationships is if one party was really using the other party for resources or labor and then leaves when the dynamic shifts. Like one person puts the other through college, or one person leaves when the other one gets a terminal illness

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-07-10T21:20:12+00:00

Needs are different.

Needs are things in a relationship to make it work. Like things your partner actively does that make the relationship work. You cannot tell someone to meet your needs. Or force them too they either do or don't.

If someone meets those needs which are just bare minimum nothing extra stuff. Like it's a non-negotiable and wasn't an issue when you initially got together.

Men are not entitled to a relationship.

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2024-07-10T21:47:30+00:00

You’re comparing them like they’re the same thing. They’re not. They’re different scenarios. The latter is about learning to be single, the former is about someone who is in an unsuitable relationship.

Professional_Chair28 · 2024-07-10T22:19:50+00:00

None of this is gendered. You listed two completely different scenarios and are pretending they’re sexist, they’re not.

Anyone is valid to choose to stay or leave a relationship if there needs aren’t being met.

No one is entitled to a relationship.

voidvoices · 2024-07-10T23:13:33+00:00

OP is probably comparing him and his male friends with female friends. Theres huge difference in relationships and also just hook up between guy and girl, both at SAME AGE of 18 years old.

Unfortunately, what are you facing (being invisible), woman will only understand by age. This is not red pill or anything like that. Statistics show that only thing under 18-25 males, are old single females, they became invisible, like mostly of young guys.

You are probably virgin. Society is on all time high promiscuity and you probably feel ashemed of this, but dont feel. If you had opportunities and dont fall, will show to you and your future partner that you had SELF CONTROL over your desires.

If the fight between males and females keep going to see who had the bigger balls, maybe when you reach better age in the eyes of woman (25+), the amount of serious relationship can be almost 0.

Since the creation of social media, woman happiness been on downfall. Social media is the same drug of pornography for men. Both fake dopamine, making you numb etc.

Just live and dont feel this pressure. Good lucky.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-07-10T23:52:06+00:00

i can't understand what logic you are using to make these two very different things contradictory or a double standard. women or men who are not having their needs mt in an LTR are entitled to LEAVE the ltr and no one says otherwise, to say you are not entitled to GET someone to GIVE you an LTR in no way contradicts this or creates a double standard

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-07-11T00:21:40+00:00

Apples to oranges. Nobody is entitled to a relationship, regardless of gender. People are always entitled to leave a relationship if it’s not meeting their needs, regardless of gender. It all has to do with other people’s autonomy. You cannot force someone to be in a relationship with you, or to meet your needs. But you are always free to leave.

volleyballbeach · 2024-07-11T00:27:31+00:00

Having needs does not equal being entitled to a relationship. Women are always not entitled to a relationship either. Men are allowed to have needs too.

Moving on from a partner who does not meet your needs is different than being entitled to someone who does… not a double standard

Freethinker312 · 2024-07-10T22:36:51+00:00

you can just get a dog or jerk off(even though I don't think either of those things can really substitute a connection with an actual woman who you care about)

You are right, they cannot replace that. And neither can loveless sex with a women just out of lust replace a loving relationship with a woman and take away loneliness.

I feel a lot for those who are lonely and wish for a loving relationship. I really wish for them they will find someone who is compatible with them.

What often occurs on this sub is men expressing desire to have sex, not desire to actually have a loving relationship with a woman and have sex in the context of real love. For that kind of desire, I don't have empathy. Sex can be great if it is out of love for each other, desire to be close together, and surrounded with commitment and loyalty. It is however disgusting outside of love and loyalty, and not something people should strive for. Being unable to convince women to have casual sex with you, has nothing to do with being lonely. Having not found someone (yet) to share your life with, that indeed can be lonely and hard.

While I see people encourage women online to leave their bf or husband and move on to another guy because they are not having good enough sex or spending enough time with them. And they justify it by saying "you have needs".

Women who do that are very selfish. Someone's sexual "needs" never justify breaking their commitment, in my opinion.

I'm 18 and I've never been in a relationship I'm just wondering why the double standards?

It is good for you to be aware that selfish, bad women exist. But please don't base your complete idea of how women in general are on some things you see online. There are plenty of women who don't agree with the content you saw. It would be wiser to learn how to distinguish between women, rather than to generalize them.

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-Kalos · 2024-07-10T23:06:02+00:00

Everyone should have standards, needs and preferences. Within reason. Doesn't matter what others say my man, only you can advocate for your own. But you're comparing different things here, you're comparing not being entitled to a relationship to not having to stay in a bad relationship. Nobody should have to stay in a bad relationship

MarjieJ98354 · 2024-07-10T23:06:24+00:00

I'm allowed to have needs that rarely get fulfilled. Too bad men don't have those same needs.

Sudden_Difference432 · 2024-07-10T23:13:11+00:00

No one is entitled to anything, not even basic needs. Rights are delusions. "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law."

Few_Advertising3430 · 2024-07-10T23:33:03+00:00

Both people should want a relationship but only one is required to end it.

Upset_Material_3372 · 2024-07-11T02:22:56+00:00

Because it’s so easy for them to get into a relationship/have a partner that they will feel more entitled to it. If you get something about as easily as you breathe then you are bound to feel entitled to it.

Strange_Public_1897 · 2024-07-10T22:42:31+00:00

Feel this needs to be posted here and in case the font is too small, check below for the copy & paste of it. If you resonate with what you read here from my comment, I’ll share where it’s from.

<image>

How Children Cope with Emotional Loneliness

Emotional loneliness is so distressing that a child who experiences it will do whatever is necessary to make some kind of connection with the parent. These children may learn to put other people's needs first as the price of admission to a relationship. Instead of expecting others to provide support or show interest in them, they may take on the role of helping others, convincing everyone that they have few emotional needs of their own. Unfortunately, this tends to create even more loneliness, since covering up your deepest needs prevents genuine connection with others.

Lacking adequate parental support or connection, many emotionally deprived children are eager to leave childhood behind. They perceive that the best solution is to grow up quickly and become self-sufficient. These children become competent beyond their years but lonely at their core.

They often jump into adulthood prematurely, getting jobs as soon as they can, becoming sexually active, marrying early, or joining the service. It's as though they're saying, Since I'm already taking care of myself, I might as well go ahead and get the benefits of growing up fast. They look forward to adult-hood, believing it offers freedom and a chance to belong. Sadly, in their rush to leave home they may end up marrying the wrong person, tolerating exploitation, or staying with a job that takes more than it gives. They often settle for emotional loneliness in their relationships because it feels normal to them, like their early home life.

wtknight · 2024-07-10T22:36:50+00:00

Men can give this advice to each other too. I don't think that there is some kind of rule that they can't. Women probably aren't going to encourage men to dump women, though, and men likewise shouldn't encourage women to dump men (although they often do so they can have sex with these women themselves).

ilike18yoblackpussy · 2024-07-10T22:48:27+00:00

Nobody is entitled to any relationship. People can coddle women and tell them that they deserve whatever type of man who fits whatever standards. But telling those women they're entitled to that doesn't meant that they will be able to find what they're looking for.

When it comes to relationships, men and women can either find what they're looking for or they can't. Being told they're entitled to whatever is irrelevant.

szclimber · 2024-07-10T21:38:11+00:00

Because women have abundance. Men do not.

harmonica2 · 2024-07-10T21:15:55+00:00

It's a double standard it seems.

qwertyuduyu321 · 2024-07-10T21:41:41+00:00

Why are women allowed to have needs but men are always not entitled to a relationship?

Supply and demand.

5'8 Bob from accounting isn't "allowed" to have needs.

6'1 Pierce Brosnan (Holywood star) is allowed to have needs.

weenieandthebutt · 2024-07-10T23:30:27+00:00

It's true no one is entitled or owed sex, affection or relationships. But with OPs statement, it's true there is a double standard that a man's woe, frustration or dismay about unmet needs is condescendingly written off and scathed at.

Hi-Road · 2024-07-10T22:22:32+00:00

Double standards will always exist, most people talk emotionally out their ass and don't care about your well-being. Try stricter standards concerning who you decide to listen to

Vlad_The_Great_2 · 2024-07-10T22:37:08+00:00

Dishonest people and their double standards. Everyone has wants and needs. Unless you are asking for something ridiculous, in your relationship how both of you feel should be important. For some reason toxic posts and comments get liked into the front page of every website. Toxic people will say my wants and needs are always more valid than yours. A lot of people don’t want to go full mask off and say they don’t like a certain demographic of people and are just openly biased in all their comments.

Crimson-Pilled · 2024-07-10T21:31:27+00:00

Gynocentrism.

Men's needs bad. Women's needs good.

TheRedPillRipper · 2024-07-10T21:19:43+00:00

why the double standards?

Primarily, because men and women are different. So require different things out of a relationship. We require a lot of the same things too, but we have different expectations because of biology. Testosterone is a hell of a drug.

Godspeed and good luck!

Swimming_Policy3629 · 2024-07-10T22:12:41+00:00

It's because of how men act sexually. I'm a woman. When I ask men for what I want sexually, it turns them off for two main reasons: 1. I know what I want 2. I am brave enough to ask for it. Men identify this as masculine and become unable to perform because of it. So men shouldn't have sexual needs because they are so self focused that most sex is now rape because of that. If only women are allowed sexual needs, but men aren't, evolution corrects itself in that regard

LevelCaterpillar1830 · 2024-07-10T21:20:06+00:00

These double standards are irrelevant, as there is no way to enforce them or apply them by any means.

People will tell each other whatever they feel like, but reality has different plans for different individuals. Even if some women get temporarily alleviated by other women standing up for their entitlement, it'll quickly wash away in the face of real circumstances.

In the end, it might be better to just face things like they are and adapt acordingly.

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-07-10T21:33:22+00:00

Something called “inherent value”.

Title	Why are women allowed to have needs but men are always not entitled to a relationship?
Author	BookBag_4x
Upvotes	14
Comments	101
Date	July 10, 2024 8:40 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1e06c9n/why_are_women_allowed_to_have_needs_but_men_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-women-allowed-to-have-needs-but-men-are.1523880 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523880

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