Not attracted to women my own age…

ImportantArm9722 · 2025-03-18T18:07:03+00:00

I am 38 and as long as the girl is over 18-23 (too much like kids/too immature).... I send it. I haven't dated anyone less than 4yrs younger and most are 10-14 years younger. Being super fit and relatively successful helps. That said when I am ready for a real long-term relationship I'm scared that means dating closer to my age.... but we shall see.

In my case the personality of the 35+ females is more attractive than the 25yr olds but.... everything else is more attractive on the 25 yr old one lol.

LashkarNaraanji123 · 2025-03-17T07:07:12+00:00

Don't let Society shame you or program you. Media content is overwhelmingly dominated by 30 and 40 somethings who are unhappy Urbans who after 200 dates are too persnickity or too crazy themselves to get a committment and think they can somehow reduce competition by shaming and groaning about it in print and tiktok

Date all the 21+ women you want.

Impressive_Camel_151 · 2025-03-14T14:25:45+00:00

Nobody wants to date a woman their own age when you are our age I’m 49 if I went out with a 49 year old woman, that would be gross dude. Having a good looking ex though that helps you so much. Make sure other women know how good looking your ex. Is that way you don’t have to deal with any UGGs.. max’s wife was a very pretty lady, but my girlfriend now who was 12 years younger than me and never had no kids and whose body is insane other women hater yeah don’t date your age bro don’t do that to yourself

Eric_C_Productions · 2025-03-13T23:31:04+00:00

To each their own I would say. I will tell you this, many woman in their 20s are not looking to settle down. I personally prefer women my own age either 3 years up or three years down. They can relate to me in terms of pop culture and experiences. I am 49 now and my girlfriend is 46. At this point in time, they are not looking to start a family, usually have a head on their shoulders, have a career or job, may or may not have kids (usually older too) and are not prone (in my experience) to play childish games and most of all seem to have more in common than in other age groups. Just my opinion! But hey, if you want to go out there and go out with 20s or 30ish women, more power to you! I was married for 20 years and together 23 years and I was out of the dating pool for over two decades. Hell, the last time I was dating before was when Napster and AOL was still a thing! Everything has changed. Fortunately technology and dating apps have changed the game but I guess we all have to adapt. Good luck!

DudeforRighteousness · 2025-03-13T18:19:37+00:00

I would give advice…..if I could ever actually manage to get divorced from this woman. Most women don’t want to date a guy who is in a divorce. Not my fault. She just wants to drag things out like a controlling batshit crazy asshole.

Maleficent_Olive4565 · 2025-03-13T10:20:22+00:00

What’s your type? What type of city do you live in? Do those things line up? If not consider being around places that are accessible to what you’re looking for. I’m going through a divorce too and me and my wife had recently left Los Angeles and moved to the suburbs in Pomona. Not much to loo at hear but slightly overweight suburban moms. So the plan is to move back to the city. I stay fit and take care of my appearance. Why not? There’s a couple girls at my CrossFit gym right now I know would be down to have some fun once I’m officially single. I recommend going places like gym classes, run clubs, etc that are conducive to finding fit, motivated, attractive women

Annual-Cobbler9245 · 2025-03-12T23:21:00+00:00

Dude. Why in the hell are you limiting your prospects to women your age, instead of pursuing any woman that you find attractive and that you connect well with?

Understand this, my man: The social narrative that pushes men to blindly walk into the slaughterhouse of marriage is the same social narrative that tries to shame men who date younger women. In Life 2.0, aka Post-Divorce Life, act upon what YOU want and adopt a philosophy that actually serves you.

For me personally, I’m in my mid-40s, making good money, short, objectively below-average-looking, and I’m enjoying the company of very attractive women in their 20s and early 30s. Short-term only because I don’t want to be beholden to the complications and risks of an LTR, and I prefer my life as compartmentalized and simple as possible.

That’s what works for me. Find what works for you!

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2025-03-12T19:02:50+00:00

Take your age, and minus 10, start from there.

2025-03-12T16:18:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Chaotic_Boots · 2025-03-12T14:47:40+00:00

I'm 36, and my ex wife is 48.

I have been dating ladies anywhere from 28-38, and it's been great, but I just started seeing a 33 year old lady and I think I'm gonna keep this one. She's the most attractive woman I've ever seen, as well as being intellectually stimulating, brilliant and kind to me. She's for sure a keeper.

crt983 · 2025-03-12T14:32:26+00:00

OP says wife (who is his same age) is the most beautiful woman in the world but says he is not attracted to women his own age.

WTF?? I think the issue is that you still have feelings for your wife.

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2025-03-12T14:20:18+00:00

Women in mid to late forties look old regardless of Botox and fillers and even good genetics.

You can date 20 year olds when you are ready but it is going to cost you money and time. Either sugar dating or finding a unicorn.

Early 30s are tricky because some women still haven’t decided if they want kids or not.

40s are tricky because these women have baggage, have been in several relationships before (or divorced) and have a laundry list of wants and desires from their partner which are unrealistic. My favorite is “alpha male who is emotionally available”.

All these variables limit your dating pool and if you throw in some wants like “must be pretty, must have a slim body” it is really like finding a needle in a haystack.

My sweet spot is mid to late 30s either:

Has kids and some nice alimony support (so they understand our schedules of not being available all the time). I’m not looking to financially help another woman or raise her kids.

Or not looking to have kids but they are emotionally stable, have a career, have a lot of friends and like their alone time.

Yes you will have to sacrifice a little is the looks department with mid 30s, but overall it is a better experience. Plus older women are usually better in bed.

strutt3r · 2025-03-12T13:46:10+00:00

I'm 40 and while I've always looked young for my age 95% my peers are somehow ballooning and melting at the same time. I'm sure diet and activity level plays a part but I think it's mostly just genetics. I'm not generally attracted to younger women, but the attractive women my age are fewer and further between.

Beauty2218 · 2025-03-12T13:35:52+00:00

I’m a 55 year old woman I’m finding old men less attractive than women generally speaking. To me you’re in a great position.

qmriis · 2025-03-12T13:25:28+00:00

Why would you be?

Custard_Pie_9EP · 2025-03-12T12:35:05+00:00

I’m about to turn 40. My wife is smoking hot but I’m still divorcing her. I am in good shape and probably better shape than most 20-something’s in my soccer league. I don’t try to hit on any women but I still have 25 year olds hitting on me.

Get in shape. You can be like Leo too and fire your 24 yr old girlfriends when they turn 25.

sandman_runner · 2025-03-12T12:32:47+00:00

i, 58 now, got divorced and on the market again at 52 and was appalled at the single women in their 40’s-50’s i was introduced to by a buddy and his girlfriend. exceedingly shallow, vapid and yet demanding.

met a few older woman at the dog park and wasnt impressed. a young one in her 30’s was intriguing and we talked alot. i think she had a daddy complex thing with me but she stopped coming. i was thinking the younger route would be ok for short term interests.

i got to know an asst manager at the local grocery store that was late 40’s.

she was cool and cute but she had some hot/crazy matrix thing going on and was way to close to her exhusband for my liking. seemed like a drama story.

its funny how once your single, women seem to know. when i was married women never showed interest in public but once i was single again, it was game on. although i did clean up my beard and my demeanor did a 180 because i was a happier man so i’m sure women see that.

shortly after i looked up and ex girlfriend from pre-marriage days that i had a great connection with back then and she was available. our personalities matched perfectly. she has some mental baggage but who doesnt at this age.

if it wasnt for her, i’m not sure what i would have done, its been 5 years with her now and she moved into my place. starting to have regrets on that but we’ll see.

being alone isnt that bad for me, i hate relationship drama more than being alone. most likely i would have reverted to my old days of catch and release and slutting around.

so the moral of my story is….dont rush things. if you are comfortable alone and happy, you think about that before you deep dive into more of what you just got out of.

IHaveABigDuvet · 2025-03-12T10:09:13+00:00

Get more attractive. Work out. Fix your hairline and your beer belly and your teeth.

Make yourself more attractive unless you want your ex to be the last attractive woman you were will ever be with.

petropath · 2025-03-12T08:10:24+00:00

Men,imo go with what makes you feel good and screw what anyone else has to say like whoever you want to like luckily we don't have arranged marriage here in the good ol USA.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-03-12T05:05:58+00:00

Mid-30s is my limit now. I'm turning 50 this year. It's not only physical attractiveness, but attitude, personality and the complexity/magnitude of their problems is the main turn off. But there are a ton of exceptions, so it's a rule of thumb.

probebeta · 2025-03-12T03:19:54+00:00

You're not wrong. Most women I meet that are my age look bit rough, complain of old age. This has been my experience with online matches I get though. I'm sure there are those that look more youthful, take good care of themselves, which I suspect would be in higher demand.

Honestly going younger feels more natural to me. Older ones I've met have a lot of responsibilities, careers, kids, and are generally less fun to be with. Going 10 years younger has given me a lot of flaky behavior which is probably fine if you're just dating. Maybe 5 year difference is fine.

Startingthisover · 2025-03-12T03:11:01+00:00

Good rule is take your age / 1/2 and add 7 years. So 50 / 2 + 7 =32 😎

Imsosadsoveryverysad · 2025-03-12T01:43:37+00:00

I bet you’ll be a lot more attracted when you come across the immaturity of the younger ones. There’s women in their 30s with the maturity of 19 year olds. It’s fuckin horrible. Yeah you really like the physical for a while, but the rest gets unbearable after that.

I have gone the opposite direction. My woman is 12 years older and I could not be happier. She is also not American and hates the evolution of the American woman. It’s actually really impressive to see someone so balanced. Boss bitch (literally C-level job) at work but traditional at home.

itoocouldbeanyone · 2025-03-12T01:38:51+00:00

I am. But have no qualms going younger, at a respectable age gap. I just want someone who matches my vibe during the day and at night. My marriage was a 10 year lesson on how important compatibility is.

Wade-Wilson-Lucky13 · 2025-03-12T01:37:03+00:00

I'm 47 and I find a lot of women my age not very attractive, but I find plenty that are very attractive. At this point in life, you either aged well or you didn't. For those that didn't, it's very noticeable. When you marry young it could be a crap shoot on how they age. Starting over at this age, I know how it's gonna turn out in the aging dept.

Arcades_Samnoth · 2025-03-12T01:09:58+00:00

For me, I think it's a lingering effect of associating women my age to categories like my friends mom.... I can't get into it either but I feel like girls younger than me are just too young. Wish I could turn off hormones

rsmiley77 · 2025-03-12T01:04:03+00:00

Statistics say that the average man marries a woman nearly ten years younger in his second marriage. It’s not you.

You can also get into the whole biology of women look for security but men look for genetically spreading their seed as being a thing. It’s completely normal how you feel.

a_day_at_a_timee · 2025-03-12T00:36:18+00:00

Well your sample size is probably pretty small right now and depending on where you live the population may be pretty unhealthy.

I moved to Newport Beach CA and stayed in my RV by the bay during the duration of my divorce. It was incredible meeting so many successful educated single women in their 30s without kids or ounce of fat on them. It was incredibly fun and a great way to rehab my broken life/spirit.

I had to read a ton of books on dating/game (models, rational male, no more mr nice guy, atomic attraction). I had professional photos taken for my dating profile. I went on almost 50 first dates. (I kept a spreadsheet). I slept with around 15 of them.

Ended up meeting a yoga teacher / licensed therapist from Palm Springs who is 95 pounds soaking wet. Someone I really connected with. We’ve been together for 4 years now and have been to burning man three times because I do that kind of hippie naked shit now.

I look at my exwife 46F now 5 years later and she looks like a troll. You couldn’t pay me to go back to my old life.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-03-12T00:27:05+00:00

I feel you. My STBXW is a very hot Latina and does not look her age at all. I've looked at the women on the apps the same age as her and they look 15 years older.

All good though there's diamonds in the rough and they all look good after a couple of drinks.

redshoetom · 2025-03-12T00:13:07+00:00

Will it go away? No. That’s male DNA. Shit, that’s human DNA to look for the best looking partner. But it’s either celibacy or well….divorced women. Both suck. And for motivation, I banged my first fatty after the divorce….wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Won’t happen again but it got me going again.

ABBucsfan · 2025-03-12T00:10:14+00:00

I'm almost 40 and I know what you mean. The odd woman who immigrated here that still looks great, but most locals look kinda rough at around mid 30s and up. I'm not interested in dating again though so no worries. Prob a good thing since I've put on some weight myself. If they have kids it can be really hard. The few days you get to you self is always catch up on support and chores when they're with the other parent. Beyond that I do think some partied a little too hard or drink too much. So yeah I'm checked out. Still like to look when they're mid 20s to early 30s sometimes lol

Live_Demo · 2025-03-12T00:09:46+00:00

I feel exactly the same as OP by my ex-wife was smoking hot with a banging body. Me at 44 I just don’t see ladies within 4 years of my age attractive. Maybe it’s just the area I live in.

I do make 6 figures, have a six pack, drive a nice car and have a home. But I’m short and haven’t been able to land a date in 2 months of trying.

I see some, not many, good looking women on online dating apps my age but I’ve failed to match or get anyone’s attention online or in real life.

jstocksqqq · 2025-03-11T23:59:47+00:00

Point of clarification: Are you saying your EX-wife was gorgeous, and you are greatly attracted to her even now, despite her being the same age as you? But you find other women her age not attractive, and the only women you find attractive other than her are women significantly younger than you? How much younger are you talking about? Late 20's and early-to-mid 30's, or something else?

Organic_Plant6757 · 2025-03-11T23:49:14+00:00

Me M53 ex wife was F50 and nice looking. She was getting carded at 45 years old and still attractive. I look at woman my age with the turkey necks and muffin tops and its a big No. They all want 6 foot, 6pack, 6 figures. I have all that and they bring attitude debt and fat.

Title	Not attracted to women my own age…
Author	CorporalCabbage
Upvotes	35
Comments	98
Date	March 11, 2025 11:37 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1j955mp/not_attracted_to_women_my_own_age/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/not-attracted-to-women-my-own-age.1546285 https://theredarchive.com/post/1546285

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