Women gaslight men into using sex toys, while shaming male porn usage

wtknight · 2026-01-15T01:01:44+00:00

Post removed and locked due to OP being temporarily banned for incivility

Hungry-Plantain-3315 · 2026-01-14T19:59:26+00:00

And in b4 women go "these aren't the same women! I love when my man watches porn" or whatever other pickme shit yall want to say.

This is a pretty loaded response to something trivial. What’s the actual issue? You dated 3 women who hated you watching porn, so is calling the women who actually don’t care if their partner watches porn “pick me’s” your way of protecting your ego?

Thuggin95 · 2026-01-14T19:53:15+00:00

I don't think this is the same thing. Porn includes real people. I don't think women are attracted to their toys. The better comparison would be if those same women shamed men for using fleshlights or something.

For the record, I don't see modest porn use as an issue to begin with.

lesliecarbone · 2026-01-14T20:05:24+00:00

men are strong armed into relationships

INFO: How does one get strong-armed into a relationship?

Novadina · 2026-01-14T20:20:49+00:00

Just date women who are okay with porn if it’s so important to you.

Porn and sex toys aren’t the same thing though. The comparison to women’s sex toys is men’s sex toys. The comparison to men watching porn is women watching it. Porn involves real people, and lusting for real people is a bit different than enjoying the sensations toys bring. Men I have dated enjoyed toys as much as me, because sexual compatibility is important to me so I passed on men who didn’t like them.

If something is important for you - why would you date someone who gives you ultimatums about it or hates it? Find someone who actually shares your interests.

Legal-Question2990 · 2026-01-14T19:51:33+00:00

You’re not “expected” to do anything.

These women gave you “ultimatums” before you met and you still chose to fuck them and have some sort of relationship with them casual or not.

That’s not my problem.

Disastrous_Agent9307 · 2026-01-14T19:48:22+00:00

I cannot say this enough: if you aren't comfortable with a sexual request or act of any kind with any tools, implements, or toys in any location in any position: SAY NO. And if the other person does not quickly and wholeheartedly back the freak off: leave and do not allow them to speak, convince, or in any way shame you for your boundaries.

Just because you're a man doesn't mean you have to be sexually open to anything under the sun a straight woman wants. Say no. Say no is a full sentence. NO. No. Absolutely not. No. Nein. Niet. Nunca.

If she says no porn, but use these toys on me and you don't like using toys on a woman or it makes you feel icky or upset, don't do it. If she says no porn and you want to use porn, leave.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-01-14T19:51:22+00:00

Nobody is forcing you to do anything or be okay with anything. If you don’t like sex toys, don’t use them. If you don’t want to be told you can’t watch porn in a relationship, don’t be in that relationship. This entire argument is stupid because you’re acting like men have zero agency.

Tacking this on here, the reason many women dislike porn is due to ethical issues in the industry, plus the whole getting off to other women bit. Plus porn is a solo activity. Many women use sex toys WITH their partner, plus the toy itself is not another person nor does it represent another person. The orgasm gap is real, it’s harder for some women to cum. You’re still allowed to want to watch porn or to dislike sex toys.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2026-01-14T19:54:11+00:00

You're not comparing apples to apples

The equivalent of sex toy use is sex toy use, or perhaps death grip

The equivalent of watching porn is watching porn

Masturbating =/= watching porn

Then men are strong armed into relationships

Aww, poor wittle men. They can build society but get "strong armed into relationships" lmao. Are they dating Elmyra?

AffectionateBelt6125 · 2026-01-14T20:02:11+00:00

Toys used as a couple is nowhere near the same as porn. That said, I have no problem with either.

FaultySchematic · 2026-01-14T20:53:39+00:00

I mean…. Conversely men shame the shit out of women for having sex, while beating it to porn every night. Maybe the solution is accepting we’re all horny weirdos and it’s fine?

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-01-14T20:10:03+00:00

You can literally choose who you date. If you don’t like sex toys, don’t date women who use sex toys. I don’t get why some men on here always act like helpless victims. If something bothers you that much, walk away. But also, the porn comparison is flawed. Porn uses real people, and that brings in way bigger issues than just getting off. A better comparison would be her using toys while shaming you for using a fleshlight. If she’s fine with one and not the other, that’s a double standard. Sex toys versus porn aren’t the same thing.

Gravel_Roads · 2026-01-14T19:51:16+00:00

That’s not what gaslighting means.

It’s not even a double standard - women like toys because they help her orgasm with her partner.

The only way for it to be an equal comparison would be if a man claimed he can’t orgasm without watching porn.

Which would definitely be considered a porn addiction.

However, if you aren’t comfortable with toys, you should absolutely let your partner know, and be prepared to break up, as it might just be a poor compatibility thing.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2026-01-14T20:02:34+00:00

Except that porn and toys aren't an equivalent. Toys have an equivalent and so does porn, and it's toys and porn.

CrackerUMustBTripinn · 2026-01-14T20:39:48+00:00

Noone is forcing or manipulating to do anything, this is you gaslighting yourself into thinking so.

Don't mistake the personal anecdotal experiences you've had as a fair and generalised representation for an entire gender btw.

Know your worth and boundaries for your intimate relationships and protect and uphold those boundaries for your wellbeing and happiness in any (future) relationship.

If you want to point out which seems to be a general sentiment hypocrisy in society on how it views women using sextoys as empowering and for men as pathetic. Then let me try to supply with a reasonable explenation for why that seemingly double standard is there.

First of all, we live, have lived and willl always live in a society that will have sexist views and experiences for both major genders. Sometimes unfair and unjust, sometimes deepseated biological instinctively and social cultural traditionally embedded. I am not here to advocate for sexism and double standards, because indeed they are often stupid bs and we should all be treated fairly and respectfully no matter what chromosomes and phenotypes you may possess.

The case of viewing sex toys usage for women as empowering and sex positive, while for men pathetic and worthy of mockery is based on the sexual availability power differences between men and women. Women (and men as well btw nothing sexist double standard about this) can get D anytime anywhere, because D is cheap while V exclusive and hard to come by. A woman using a sextoy is choosing an inanimate object over men, its also putting a female's sexual pleasure in contrast to its unimportance in societal history (herstory) as paramount over that of some dude, and that symbolism alone is a small victory over sexual puritan oppression and so worthy of woo-hoo.

Sextoy use for men is not seen as a choice made by that man, but a choice made about that man by women and thus labeling him with less desirable sexual status. Even though these assumptions are just completely false.

But besides unsympathetic societal views you should do whatever floats your boat and persue your own happiness and joy however you see fit when it comes to your private onanistic solosymfonies in the flesh, and ignore each and everyone's judgement because their opinions about how you enjoy your own personal individual sexual physical autonomy are irrelevant and worthless.

alotofironsinthefire · 2026-01-14T21:32:49+00:00

You know men have sex toys right

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2026-01-14T21:56:09+00:00

We have loads of toys for both of us. We both enjoy them, the key is finding someone whoes kinks match your

Tylikcat · 2026-01-14T19:47:16+00:00

The research indicates that sex toy use generally improves libido and sexual responsiveness.

Icy_Ad_4544 · 2026-01-14T19:56:20+00:00

Men can have sex toys too. 🤷‍♀️

Women with low libidos and conservative around sex are going to be negative about porn in my experience - they view it as an actual competition with another woman. They aren’t thinking of porn as a sex object like a vibrator. 🤷‍♀️ I think me are able to dehumanize porn in a way these woman can’t.

KayRay1994 · 2026-01-14T21:39:45+00:00

I mean… sex toys and porn are very, very, very different things. For one thing there is no proof that sex toys cause the same mental damage as porn, and sex toys aren’t the direct stimulant - one’s imagination (or the porn they’re watching) is. Also, the sex toy industry isn’t subject to the same kind of exploitation porn is.

You’re comparing apples to a rock you’ve painted red and are insisting is also an apple

Also, to state the obvious: porn and toys aren’t alternatives for each other. Men can use toys, as can women. Women can watch porn, as can men. There are many sex toys designed for men and if his parents has a problem with the toy, the partner is at fault and needs to grow up, regardless of gender

Rule_Number_7 · 2026-01-14T20:31:42+00:00

whatever other pickme shit yall want to say

Having our own opinions that differ from others is being a pickme now?

It’s once again very simple: Different people want different things. Yes, some of those things have been known to be hypocritical. If something does not work for you: you can leave or you can refuse. I doubt these women are holding a loaded g un to your head.

Plus, you yourself exhibit hypocrisy in what you’ve stated you want in a woman long term vs what you believe and partake in yourself, so you aren’t exactly in a position to judge the potential toys vs porn hypocrites out there.

SaltyFatNuts · 2026-01-14T20:38:07+00:00

can someone explain what "death grip" is ive never heard of it

GlitterDollMUA · 2026-01-14T22:39:10+00:00

You're conflating two seperate things here.

Yes, a lot of women have sex toys. Yes, a lot of women have issues with their SO watching porn, or watching a LOT of porn.

How are these different? Well, a sex toy doesn't usually come pre-loaded with heaps of misogyny, whereas porn often does. I'm not judging here, I like porn, but I think we can all agree that a lot of heteronormative straight porn is particularly demeaning/degrading/humiliating specifically towards women.

You can make your own value judgements on that.

With sex toys, keep in mind, not all women can or have had orgasms without them. There are women who have been sexually active for years, and haven't had, or are UNSURE if they've had an orgasm... Think about that, can you imagine being UNSURE if you have ever even had an orgasm?

Less than 30% of women have had an orgasm from penetration alone. If 70+% of the time YOU have sex, your partner got off, and you didn't, but strapping a vibrating ring to your penis could push you over the edge, would you still take this stance?

You WANT to have sex, right? Don't you want the person you're with to ALSO enjoy it? Surveys in the past have indicated women IN relationships might use them more frequently than single women. Why? Because it isn't just about masturbation, sometimes sex toys are what make the experience more fulfilling for women. It's not about replacing you.

wtknight · 2026-01-14T19:53:57+00:00

A sex toy isn’t considered micro-cheating and exploitation by women. Most women would have no problem with men masturbating to male-oriented erotica, I think.

NiaMiaBia · 2026-01-14T19:59:34+00:00

I could argue that high porn use seeps into other aspects of life - I have heard situations where men play out what they see in porn (choking, spitting, etc.). Also, there’s “porn addiction” which is obviously going to be a problem. Like anything else, there are levels to this shit.

My going to town with my 🌹only impacts me. It doesn’t impact anyone else’s life.

Also, no one is asking you to “be ok” with anything. If you don’t like that some women use toys, find a woman that doesn’t.

UndeniablyGone · 2026-01-14T21:44:43+00:00

Lemme guess, your feed has got your panties all in a bunch because you saw some women speak poorly of men and now your feefees are hurt. Have you tried, idk, worrying about your own damn self instead of what everyone else is doing? You can only control yourself so mind your business and stay the fuck outta of other people's sex lives.

Your hurt feefees are guaranteed not do to anything productive. Like, quite literally you're accomplishing nothing right now. This was a moronic read. Just sayin....

No-Rough-7390 · 2026-01-14T21:12:41+00:00

The oddest thing about the porn argument to me is that I’ve had some crazy ass experiences compared to porn whether it was same night lays, a plate, or committed relationship. The whole “it gives you a twisted sense of sex” seems to be kind of a front.

A saying I’ve heard is that there’s no bigger critique of porn than a woman who doesn’t want her man getting any ideas about her level of desire for him.

TheCounsellingGamer · 2026-01-14T22:20:40+00:00

I personally don't care if my partner watches porn, but I'm struggling to see how a man watching porn is the same thing as a couple using sex toys during intimacy. One is something that is often done alone, purely for personal gratification. The other is a mutually pleasurable experience (fellas, vibrators can feel good for you, too).

There is also an underlying ethical concern with porn. It's well established that if people watch porn frequently, they will often need to watch more and more extreme videos to get the same effect. When it comes to porn, that can mean videos that really toe the line of what's acceptable. That can create an unhealthy view of what BDSM is and result in situations where the acts aren't practised safely. I know you may say that women need bigger and bigger dildos, but a woman using a big dildo isn't the same as a man who suddenly decides to try strangling his partner because he saw it in a porn video.

bluestjuice · 2026-01-14T22:38:06+00:00

.....gaslight?

Do you maybe mean 'manipulate?' Or 'guilt-trip,' 'pressure,' 'coerce,' or something?

Anyway, both sex toys and porn are used by people of all genders in varying degrees. They are both polarizing enough that they have their serious fans, their haters, and a ton of people in the middle.

This is one of those things where instead of worrying about what other people think you should want or do, you should just decide what you want and prefer to do, and seek out like-minded partners.

BaCool777 · 2026-01-14T21:32:24+00:00

Lmao…as a bisexual guy it’s funny to me women trash men for being insecure about sex toys, but nearly every time I’ve demonstrated how awesome prostate orgasms are (via dicks, dildos, hands free orgasms, etc), every woman becomes massively insecure that she can’t give me that experience.

They literally can’t handle the same situation they dunk on men for being insecure about 🤣🤣🤣

wtknight · 2026-01-14T19:46:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-01-14T21:28:25+00:00

You don’t care if your partner has an orgasm. Got it. 👍

LillthOfBabylon · 2026-01-14T20:14:35+00:00

Oh how women hate men watching porn.

Are you with women who are anti-porn?
Do you constantly look at point, even in a relationship?

men are expected to just be ok with her plethora of sex toys? Toys that are bigger than humanly possible.

Depends. Is she still using it more than fucking the guy?

Then men are strong armed into relationships where they have to deal with her sex toys, while she shit talks his "porn addiction".

So is she just fucking herself occasionally while the guy can't even function without watching porn from time to time?

Actually gave me ultimatums about porn before/after we met

Because to them, why do you need porn if they're there for you to fuck? Also, again, porn addicts can't function.

mashedturnip · 2026-01-14T20:03:29+00:00

Sex toys are for us. Porn is for you only

Assuming that you give a fuck whether we get off.

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love_in_october · 2026-01-14T20:06:42+00:00

Women can use porn and men can use sex toys. They're obviously not the same thing. I'm anti porn but pro sex toys for anyone (and yes, my husband does have a small collection).

Physical_College_551 · 2026-01-14T23:54:38+00:00

Yup, but they say fuck how we feel, but deep down we know they want bigger, and just be lying about all of it.

ladybird_00 · 2026-01-14T20:37:34+00:00

Barring some kind of medical issue, idk why anyone would need toys. No porn, no toys. Win win.

ChewedMyWayOutOfThat · 2026-01-15T00:53:14+00:00

can't debate my point

That's not the reason we can't debate your point. We aren't debating your fucking point because your premise is stupid, that's why.

Here's why your premise is fucking faulty:

You are making a comparison of 2 issues when the only point they seem have in common is that they relate to sexuality. In order to do that, the circumstances and the outcomes must be same. They fucking aren't and you aren't addressing these deficiencies in your premise.

Porn is not sex toys. No one is harmed by the use or creation of sex toys, whereas porn has an element of exploitation as the actors who perform in them are exposed to sexually-based violence, STDs, unwanted pregnancies etc. Many actors have committed suicide after the abuse they endured in the porn industry, whereas no one (that we know of) has committed suicide as a result of sex toys. While we assume that porn actors act of their own volition, there is a non-zero chance that some women were forced into doing porn. Therefore, those who watch porn excessively are indirectly contributing to sex trafficking.

You're also laboring under the assumption that men and women orgasm at similar rates. They fucking don't. Straight women's orgasm rates vary from 49% to 65%. Women who have sex with women report orgasm rates of 88%. The reason why this statistic is important is because men diffuse responsibility and blame everyone but themselves. This is evidence that confirms that men are sexually selfish cunts who care only for their sexual pleasure to the exclusion of their partners. Had men been more receptive to their partners' pleasure, perhaps straight women wouldn't have such appallingly low rates of orgasms and high rates of sex toy usage.

Women's use of sex toys is a necessity.

Men's excessive use of porn is an extension of their sociopathy and narcissism.

Title	Women gaslight men into using sex toys, while shaming male porn usage
Author	N_Count_Council
Upvotes	25
Comments	312
Date	January 14, 2026 7:44 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1qcx8iz/women_gaslight_men_into_using_sex_toys_while/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-gaslight-men-into-using-sex-toys-while.1571139 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571139

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