Would you consider her a pickme ? I feel like I understand her message but it seems like she’s using this for validation given the men in her comments...

LilithWon · 2021-02-17T22:40:27+00:00

She is repeating some pickme-culture copypasta, so not her original idea. I'm leaving it up only if the discussion remains centered around pickme culture and women who perpetuate cultural misogyny.

eveloe · 2021-02-17T18:42:47+00:00

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spinsterchachkies · 2021-02-17T19:19:03+00:00

Oh yeah. This only works with a HVM and most men are not HV. The reason why she is pickme is she can do all this hoping he will do nice things and he won’t. That’s the set up. Wait for him to show you he is worth your effort first. Don’t set yourself up for 50/50 pickme girl because most of the time they will just take and you won’t get anything in return but abuse

purasangria · 2021-02-17T20:19:38+00:00

Yes, I am willing to treat him like a king. And that still does not involve me paying for anything for him.

threedotlove · 2021-02-17T18:43:40+00:00

The reason FDS is opposed to 50/50 is because a relationship for a woman is never actually 50/50. The woman always has more emotional, mental, and usually physical labor to deal with in a relationship, especially if children are involved. A man is only expected to exist and work.

So, if a woman is expected to also pick up 50% of the financial burden, what is she getting out of the relationship?

esthermaniii · 2021-02-17T18:27:35+00:00

She’s definitely a pickme

Firstdayinhell · 2021-02-17T19:29:26+00:00

She is the definition of pick me. The condescending tone. The "im better than other women" attitude. The talk about "treating him like a king". Everything about this says pick me and its specifically designed to make men in the comments tell her how amazing she is.

biggestsigh · 2021-02-17T19:07:24+00:00

Don't expect a man to treat you like a queen if you can't treat him like a king.

She's definitely a pickme. Who does she think she is telling me what my expectations should be.? If she wants to set her bar low that's her business. Why do my standards make her mad?

HoldMyPoodle6280 · 2021-02-17T19:10:44+00:00

How much are her damn shoes if she is buying him a suit? Jeez

souredskittles · 2021-02-17T21:48:48+00:00

Pickme.

What they do with themselves is whatever but they actively try to lower others standards. Btw she gives me pickme mom vibes. Like she’s talking about her sons girlfriend. It was just how she was grinding her teeth while saying it. Run of the mill pickmes don’t even look this rabid.

pinkcloudzzz · 2021-02-17T19:44:28+00:00

I love how she doesn’t mention housework because she damn well knows he doesn’t step up 50/50 on that and can’t come up with anything to say about it 😂

Also tf? Women have been serving the lowest men like kings for a long time and getting nothing for it. Since it’s illegal to force us to fulfill that role now, they brainwash pickmes to shame us into subservience. Fuck that

InaneObservations · 2021-02-17T21:42:20+00:00

Yes. Why does she have to overcompensate every time he does something marginally nice? Lunch is cheaper than dinner. A suit costs more than shoes. She sounds like she's advertising to be a sugar mama.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-02-17T19:34:23+00:00

Of course she is. This is some weird gaslighting, cause women have been treating completely useless scrotes like some kings for thousands of years already.

BadPlaceAlmondMilk · 2021-02-17T22:05:49+00:00

Big time. It's not about the 50/50. It's about putting all the blame and pressure on the woman. She doesn't say "if he treats you like a queen, you should treat him like a king." Instead it's "don't expect to be treated like a queen if you don't treat him like a king first" and we all know how often that actually gets reciprocated 🙄

real90slike · 2021-02-17T23:43:13+00:00

Kings buy whole islands for their queens. I've never seen a queen do that for an kingm I'm never opening my wallet for any man, never seen a queen do it!

tellmesomething11 · 2021-02-17T21:57:49+00:00

It doesn’t even make sense, Kings were rich and didn’t need anything from a Queen but her baby

yeahhh22 · 2021-02-17T19:17:22+00:00

This is sad lol

Marigold-ink · 2021-02-17T23:01:52+00:00

Yeah, she’s a pick me. Everything she said falls under the 50/50 trap.

LetsGetin_Formation · 2021-02-17T19:13:44+00:00

Just by walking next to me a man’s attractiveness to other women skyrockets.

Why would I pay for the validation I am giving him with my presence?

All of my guy friends and past bfs (2 LTRs) benefitted hugely just by having a smart, beautiful woman on their arm. Men use the experience they get from dating women they desire to attract hordes of other women. The confidence boost, the sexual practice (unfortunately for everyone I was young and naive and faked orgasms- I thought at the time it was the least I could do for my exes who tried so damn hard to please and Impress me. Sadly this means they’re still out there embarrassing themselves sexually but that’s another reason why we don’t PAY).

All men will end up disappointing you. The least you can do is walk away without your pockets hurting. Stuff in her video will happen naturally but NOT tit for Tat. Like you’ll buy them stuff you think they’ll like occasionally, and I personally love to do surprises and super thoughtful fun things for birthdays. We are the ones reminding them to send gifts to their loved ones, shouldering emotional burdens, boosting their self esteem sexually even when they don’t earn it (not advisable but we’ve all done it). So yeah.

They can pay. For everything. Especially until there is commitment. Especially.

Mimosa_usagi · 2021-02-18T00:39:15+00:00

The filter on her face keeps shifting.

And I feel like she is a pick me because a lot of men will allow you to keep doing all of that and never treat you well. You'll be waiting forever. Been there done that. He can get that kind of treatment when he proves to me that he can treat me right first.

Summerisle7 · 2021-02-17T18:37:05+00:00

Of course she's a pickme. Have you read the FDS Handbook?

gigi_chi · 2021-02-17T19:52:06+00:00

Absolutely. She knows that on average women bring more to the table than men. These “ princesses “ that people swear most women are is fiction.

LevellingUpTime · 2021-02-18T00:16:38+00:00

Pickme for sure! Most of what she talks about is money-based, and the other is just what you do in healthy relationships.

I would absolutely hate being the woman in her sort of relationship. Once you start with the financial "reciprocation" of things your romantic relationship becomes a transactional business one.

Like, he picks up the dinner bill and the movie tickets, then looks to you expectantly, so you buy a few movie snacks, then he silently pouts and calculates that you paid only 15% of what he paid that night. He starts to thinks it's unfair, he starts to resent you.

No thanks. I'll do things for my man throughout the day to show my appreciation (and if lucky adoration) of him, but it won't be anywhere near the same materialistic level he should be showing me. Scrotes LOVE to talk about how men are providers and protectors, so provide

relationship_reddit · 2021-02-18T00:24:03+00:00

In theory, if everything else was 50/50, this would be ok, but that's not actually how the real world works. Women nowadays are expected to match men on traditionally masculine things like paying for dates or having a full time job, but in turn, are men matching women's time and efforts in other areas? Do men spend an equal amount of time and cost maintaining their appearance? Do they do half of the cooking and cleaning? Do they bear the burden of half the mental load (planning Christmas gifts for both sides of the family, making a complete grocery list, remembering that the dog is due for its flea pill this month)? There are a ton of things that women bear the bigger share of the burden of, and that's not even considering the extreme inequalities that come with child-bearing and raising.

So, ok, if we're doing tit for tat, are we gonna do it right? He buys me a necklace, so I buy him a watch. But if I spend two hours a day shaving, doing my hair, painting my nails, putting on makeup, is he going to spend two hours showering, trimming his beard, clipping his nails, doing his hair, shaving his pubic hair? Is he going to cook dinner every other day? Is he going to do half of all the grocery shopping trips? Do I get to have an orgasm every single time we have sex too? Of course we're not gonna do it right. These "kings" out here don't want actual equality, they just want women to pay for more shit, and this woman is falling for it.

Summerisle7 · 2021-02-18T04:59:44+00:00

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generallynothing · 2021-02-17T20:02:45+00:00

The main word is "if". If he does this thing I'll reward him. A suit for some shoes? Nah mate.

I'm fine with alternating who pays to some extent. But its not a given and it's dependent on whether I think it's worth it. Which isn't often.

EarthKveik · 2021-02-17T20:13:24+00:00

"PICK ME! PICK ME! I'LL GO HALFSIES! NoT lIKe OtHeR gIrlS! PICK MEEEEEEEEEE!

What business of hers are another woman's standards? What has she got to gain from entertaining cheap men? She's a brainwashed idiot.

SakuraGirl88 · 2021-02-17T20:48:37+00:00

Yeah she's a queen pickme. But her rhetoric isn't even technically hers. And I'm so sick of this "king" nonsense. For me, it's not even about buying dinner, movie tickets, or having a bad day. That mess is 50/50 anyway😒. The trash that we have to sift through can't👏do👏basic👏shit👏. "Treat him like a king". It's a sea of jesters.

fosho_away · 2021-02-17T18:43:19+00:00

Lol. A nice suit is way more expensive than shoes, fuck that.

I understand the energy behind it but hard pass on needing to spend money on him. Currently dating a guy who makes like 2x as much as me and I don’t lift a finger toward my wallet when we are out together, if he wants me to put myself out financially when he has the net worth he does, he doesn’t have my best interests at heart.

That being said, I also take care of my own bills and am not lazy. I work hard and help him out where appropriate, but I’m not trying to buy some dudes respect.

I did make 3x as much as my first bf (HVM but dated too early, he’s married now), so we split bills proportionally. He still saved a lot and always treated me to wonderful surprises on special occasions.

No comment on all the nickel and diming “egalitarian” guys I spent way too much time on... never again

blackwidowe · 2021-02-18T00:06:38+00:00

Booooooo!

warinmymind94 · 2021-02-18T01:29:37+00:00

This is pickme because its looking for a transactional relationship and she is doing scorekeeping as well as allowing him to scorekeep too. It's part of the 50/50 thing.

You dont want to be doing wife shit for a boyfriend or someone that isn't committed. And the thing is, if you do anything nice for him, make sure he has earned it and it's not too extravagant and matches his effort, not goes above and beyond his efforts.

Her mindset will have a man thinking he can give you lazy lousy foreplay for less than 2 minutes and then he will expect you give him head for 20 minutes. This transactional shit will bite her in the butt.... one day she will not be feeling so good and she will ask him babe can you make me soup? And he will do it then demand she gets out of bed to make a side or dessert

_tinyimp · 2021-02-17T23:46:15+00:00

This queen will take a prince consort instead thanks for the advice tho x

_mooness · 2021-02-18T01:30:58+00:00

100% pickme.

Bubbly-Manufacturer · 2021-02-18T02:04:05+00:00

Everything she said costs more than what the guy is doing. Dinner cost more than lunch,hell the movie snacks cost more than the tickets depending what you get , the suit can cost more than the shows. Unless they’re really nice.

AnonymousRooster · 2021-02-18T02:53:14+00:00

Every thing she listed that he buys, she buys something more expensive or complicated. No thank you. Dinner is a bigger purchase than lunch. Snacks are the most expensive parts of movies. A whole nice suit for one pair of shoes?!

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-02-18T05:25:22+00:00

My younger cousin met his wife in high school. They're both from wealthy families and are both career oriented. He's in government and she just graduated from law school at the top of her class. I don't think she's opened a door or paid a tab since they met.

Even if our politics differ a bit, he's my favorite cousin of the lot and I always found him to be the most conscientious and painstakingly ethical, even when it costs him. But his choice of wife and how he treats her took my esteem for him over the top. I see him achieving high office one day and unlike most, he'll have actually earned it. Her career will likely stay in step with his or she could always pull ahead but I know he'll still be opeing doors, etc.

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-02-18T09:29:40+00:00

This is a set up to be used and abused.

Mella_20 · 2021-02-18T14:37:52+00:00

Queen of the pick mes.

virtuelnizeka · 2021-02-18T19:49:39+00:00

Stop expecting me to treat him like king, when he's treating me like a servant

sthoms694 · 2021-02-17T20:08:01+00:00

This manifesto isn't even hers . I've read this very thing--verbatim--in fucking tweets over the years. Google any line from this diatribe, and you'll see examples of it being passed off as original thought. Nice try, "queen".

abby_ch238 · 2021-02-17T22:26:28+00:00

I saw this video that says if the men are agreeing with you in the comments then you should take back what you said. So if the men in her comments are agreeing with her then yes she’s a pickme.

This is the video: https://m.tiktok.com/v/6930027216256371973

hapahunnie · 2021-02-17T22:24:52+00:00

If he buys the movie tickets, then I show up. That’s his payment from me wtf do I look like paying $7 for a soda???

Sensitive-Sun-3591 · 2021-02-17T22:47:39+00:00

Read the handbook

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randomgirl34861 · 2021-02-18T20:41:45+00:00

Dinner is more expensive than lunch, snacks often cost more than tickets, and a suit is wayyy more expensive than most shoes. Why does she have to do something bigger than he does every time? Does she feel like she’s not worth these gestures and must go above and beyond to keep him?

If my man pays for lunch, I’ll leave the tip. If my man pays for movie tickets, I’ll smuggle the grocery-store snacks in my oversized handbag for us. If he buys me a pair of shoes, I’ll say thank you. If he’s having a bad day, I’ll be there for him. I think there’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t need to out-do someone’s nice gesture to show you appreciate it.

Belgian_jewish_studn · 2021-02-21T09:14:29+00:00

Something about this woman feels off. And I will never go 50/50.

She’s a pick me to me.

MrsSmartyPants · 2021-02-17T18:20:37+00:00

There should definitely be reciprocation in a committed/exclusive relationship.

2021-02-18T01:29:21+00:00

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