How do you view sex?

NarniaFox · 2022-02-03T07:53:09+00:00

It's a leisure and bonding activity I prefer to share with my partner. It feels great, it's fun, it bonds you with your partner, it's an important part of romantic relationships. It also puts you into a highly vulnerable position, so I wouldn't have it with someone I didn't trust and wasn't in exclusive relationship with.

Neptune-Jr · 2022-02-03T13:46:07+00:00

Sex is an intimate experience that you shouldn't just do with anyone because you're horny. I think it's really vulnerable and personal. It's not a need or anything people can be healthy without it.

Lost-Coconut-1050 · 2022-02-03T23:24:22+00:00

A curse. Having a male sex drive without being Chad is being cursed with an insatiable hunger for people that do not and will never desire you like you desire them. It is also a very easy way for people to exploit you.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-02-03T08:15:55+00:00

I view sex as a basic human need. Not a right, because it requires another person (just like Healthcare isn't a right, nor is housing). A need like social circle interaction or continuous learning and growing.

Sex is something that can range from brutal and horrible to so loving as to make you want to cry. So saying how do you view sex is quite esoteric and non specific.

I personally can separate casual sex from relationship sex. The most important part of a relationship is how I'm treated interpersonally, NOT the sex -- but the sex is a "necessary but not sufficient condition." Good sex is like scratching a deep itch and bringing self fulfillment. Bad sex? Post nut clarity for men; walk of shame for women.

The conclusion -- only have sex with people you're genuinely attracted to physically

RepresentativeSwan1 · 2022-02-03T06:56:02+00:00

Pornhub.

lonely_mixtape · 2022-02-03T06:58:22+00:00

I view sex as an important intimate expression of my love that should be reserved to the person I'm going to spend my life with. This probably developed due to my religious upbringing, but is less so pure religiousity and more an important part of my values and expression now.

I'm a very sexual person, and must admit that I've jumped the gun a bit on being sexual with people too early, so I confess I haven't always lived according to my values. But ideally, it would be nice if I could keep my sexual experiences in life restricted to a single person, even better if it's within marriage (although it's too late for that now lol).

NoMarriageNoKids · 2022-02-03T11:00:55+00:00

If I'm in love with her then it's a very intimate thing. If it's a FWB it's just nice to give and receive affection. I don't do ONS or casual because I'm older now and don't view it as sport like I did in my 20s. So, for me, it's always something sensual. But, the level of sensuality is determined by the feelings I have for the person.

hemaristhysbe · 2022-02-03T15:22:48+00:00

In order of frequency and importance: bonding activity, something I do for mine and my partner's physical and mental health, stress reliever, and putting a fire out so I can focus on other things.

Should it be celebrated by loving who you want when you're free to, and kept to one partner when you're together?

Skeptical of people who save themselves for marriage or prize virginity, but whatever people find fulfilling and mutually beneficial is fine with me.

Swans-r-cunts · 2022-02-03T12:48:46+00:00

I think it should be a salubrious bit of fun for two people to enjoy each other, and to enjoy someone else's enjoyment.

I'm high sociosexual and enjoy casual sex - however I have caught unreciprocated feelings once (during a four month fling) and twice a guy hasn't wanted to see me again after banging.

So for me I just ballance out the risk and rewards when it comes to satiating my own sexual needs and that works for me.

I have slutty phases in-between relationships, which are overwhelmingly positive - but I also love monogamous relationships.

GoodApollo506 · 2022-02-03T15:58:13+00:00

A privilege/luxury for attractive people

baresquad · 2022-02-03T17:49:08+00:00

It’s just sex.

It can be between 2 lovers or strangers, passionate, casual, a one time thing, regularly, no strings attached, exclusive to a relationship

I choose to see it as no big deal and prefer it be casually with strangers or causally with fwb’s

Shout out to my parents for not indoctrinating me with traditionalism

houstongradengineer · 2022-02-03T11:39:27+00:00

Is it scratching an itch?

No, that's a solo thing. I'm not throwing myself and some guy who means nothing because I've got an itch, that's counterproductive.

Something precious to be given to the love of your life?

Yes, actually. Well not necessarily must sex be shared with one 'love,' but it should be shared when people meet a standard for valuing each other and committing to each other. The effort and time to please a person regularly is pretty precious. Shared sex is less safe and less effective wheh you try with multiple people at a time in my opinion. Mutual connection, affection, investment and compatibility are the motivaton for sex in my book. That's what makes it important/effective to add in a partner.

An irritating distraction from what's important?

Distracting? Maybe in poor circumstances. From the important things in life? No, I'm not the overgrown child for which TRP would take me. If something is important, I'll find a way. I only get distracted by sex in an unhealthy way if it's missing from my life where I want it. This means I can only feel distracted by lack of sex/intimacy from a particular crush who isn't pursuing me. At that point, I grieve by taking space and finding my joy/gratitude in other aspects of life. I get over the unrequited crush.

Do your ideas now reflect how you were brought up,

Probably. Most other people aren't as concerned about risk as I am. That comes from my childhood. My thoughts on the value of commitment and investment also come from the way I was raised. I wouldn't be able to move on so well from u required crushes, probably, if I wasn't raised to be emotionally intelligent and to have self-control.

wtknight · 2022-02-03T13:29:09+00:00

Sex is sharing love and getting rid of an urge simultaneously for me. I don’t have any interest in having sex with women whom I have no feelings for, though. The thought of it kind of disgusts me.

decoy88 · 2022-02-03T15:21:15+00:00

Sex is like tennis, a match can be good/great experience, or a bad/terrible experience. Skill level and enthusiasm is important, but it’s much more enjoyable with someone you love.

Do your ideas now reflect how you were brought up, or have they evolved?

No idea

EviessVeralan · 2022-02-03T15:44:41+00:00

I personally consider it an expression of love.

Cautious-Music1101 · 2022-02-05T21:23:59+00:00

At first I thought of it as a game or just a meaningless fun thing then when I found the right person and it was so much more significant n unexplainable like connection with the soul and heart leading to love

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-02-03T06:53:51+00:00

It's fun, but not needed. I can give myself orgasms just fine, and it's not my preferred way of being intimate with my partner.

Bendetto4 · 2022-02-03T08:20:07+00:00

The most intimate expression of love and commitment. It shouldn't be given lightly, but also shouldn't be reserved.

Its like a special currency in Vidya games. If you hoard it until the end, you realise that the game would've been a lot easier and a lot more fun if you'd spent some of it to get past the grinding. But if you spend it freely at the start, you'll realise that later on there will be someone you want to spend it on who won't appreciate how much you've spent already.

Basically it boils down to, yes you can have casual sex for fun. But actually sex should be reserved for the people you really care about. Not necessarily forever partners, but people you want to show your most intimate expression of love to. Not just anyone who'll say yes.

EcocentristicEchoist · 2022-02-03T18:19:16+00:00

It's an activity. Everything else is just what you bring to it, what you're in the mood for, what makes it good for you, etc.

My sex life can be anything from

A steamy, been horny all day passion fuck that we draw out for ~45 minutes (not counting foreplay).
Basically scratching a horny itch together for ten minutes while watching YouTube and discussing what to order for dinner.
To just me pulling out a toy while she's in the shower and vibe out an orgasm in a couple minutes because I don't feel like expending the energy on sex.

I think romantic and sexual attraction are two completely different things, monogamy or poly etc is a personal preference with neither being objectively better or worse, and that the sex part of cheating is actually the least hurtful thing about it.

I was raised to think of sex as an intimate, beautiful thing that two people who love one another do together as an expression of that love and their deep passion for one another, which I find hilarious because when I was growing up my Dad cheated on my mom repeatedly, so by the time I was five I had three half siblings and my Mom hated him, but stayed with him because of me and my full siblings.

Perseus_the_Bold · 2022-02-03T07:19:27+00:00

Through a computer screen.

Seriously though: Sexual pangs can be as mild as an itch or as intense as a throbbing toothache. Hormones play a role and it only subsides with age.

dreadgamedurmum · 2022-02-03T07:27:30+00:00

Sex is the conjoining of the masculine and feminine (yin/Yang) to become 1, sex is an act of creation and thus is the ultimate physical expression of God

It's also a powerful energy exchange, sex demons are real now I don't think anythings wrong with free spirited sex and hedonism but one should be careful and the intentions should be known and pure

Monogamy is the only real type of relationship, everything else is debauchery

When you're having sex with someone you're really vibing with like you two are perfectly in sync you can read each others minds and see their souls I really believe there's something magical about it

As you can tell I was raised by religious parents. They never forced religion on me and I've become more spiritual than religious.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2022-02-03T07:31:22+00:00

I do it mainly to please the man and prefer clitoral stimulation.

sootlord · 2022-02-03T08:13:08+00:00

I'm not going to hide how I view sex, I thinks it's a powerful act that connects to us energetically, spiritually, and emotionally.

I'm a 29 year old male and I like sex but simultaneously it scares me so much. I feel that there is always a pressure on my side to perform and If I fail I'm not good enough. I have a hard time being in the moment because I need a lot of reassurance and patience from my partner. I hate that I'm built this way.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-02-03T10:29:06+00:00

It's a fun extra to a relationship, and something to be done with somebody you love, although not necessary for love by any means. It reflects a special kind of connection that you share and is best treated as something special. I wasn't brought up to think much about sex at all, to be honest - as with most things, my parents taught me that my values, beliefs and decisions were my own. But this is what makes sense to me.

ohdiddly · 2022-02-03T11:47:15+00:00

Nutting feels good and it feels even better when nutting with someone else, plus sex is fun

I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s an expression of love, I can have sex with someone and not be in love with them. But it is really great doing it with someone you love.

Zcuzz · 2022-02-03T07:14:16+00:00

I was brought up religiously. Sex was for married couples. You married someone you loved. Love and sex got intertwined into my thinking.

Even after breaking away from my devout upbringing, I still can't snap out of the connection established in my brain back then.

Casual encounters and open relationships only soured my perspective on it all. Someone always catches feelings. I don't know how to compartmentalize sex from love the way other people can. I've tried, it just isn't in my nature.

I'm a single, but monogamous type person. I hate dating. I don't take any pride in adding notches to my belt, but I'm very commitment adverse due to being screwed over in past relationships.

I like having sex. I have a high libido. I end up in shitty incompatible relationships due to the intense emotional connections I make during sex.

Feisty-Saturn · 2022-02-03T12:03:04+00:00

It’s about scratching an itch.

I know many of us have hear the nonsense about a good guy will wait for sex. When I was younger my mom told me about her first marriage. She waited till marriage to have sex. That man went on to beat her for 3 years until he put her in the hospital and she finally left. I don’t know if it’s that story that messed me up but I just don’t connect sex with love at all. It’s something I enjoy doing because I’m horny not because I’m deepening my connection with my partner or something.

peteypete78 · 2022-02-03T07:39:24+00:00

Is it scratching an itch? Something precious to be given to the love of your life? An irritating distraction from what's important? A form of connection with others?

All of the above.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-02-03T07:53:48+00:00

Yes

And I don't mean that facetiously, sex is a lot of things, one day it may be a physical expression of the love I have for my wife , the next day it might just be we're bored and horny, the next day she may be my fuck-toy to take my anger out on, one day it might be a one-night stand of pure lust of somebody I'm never going to see again, experimental, etc., it's a lot of things and it's not a lot of things , I kind of compare it to the different sub genres of Rock lol

CrazyBaby8891 · 2022-02-03T08:50:51+00:00

Is it scratching an itch? Something precious to be given to the love of your life? An irritating distraction from what's important? A form of connection with others?

That second thing.

My ideas do reflect how I was brought up but I genuinely believe in them for several reasons both spiritual and rational, instead of mindlessly going along with what I was told without real conviction. I think it helped that I also witnessed some of my peers' folly in hookup culture enough to know I never wanted any part of that shtshow for myself. And what can I say; I'm a diehard romantic.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-02-03T13:11:26+00:00

For me, sex is something that can either be very intimate and special or just fun, but either way, I only want to share with someone who I care for and respect and who cares for and respects me. I never felt like I should only have one partner for life, but also never really saw the appeal in casual sex. If I don’t at least have some level of mental connection with the person, I’m not interested. So yeah, I think sex is what you make it and doesn’t always have to be so serious, but for me personally, I’m not interested in sharing it with strangers.

pckty · 2022-02-03T13:51:14+00:00

Sex is just release of some chemical which make you feel good . when you like having sex with someone you don't necessarily love them thats why some people say they don't love you anymore (this also sometimes has other reasons like if person turn out to be something else) or there is no spark between us . sex isn't love . loving someone means accepting someone for who they are . accepting they are imperfect and embracing it . you love someone because of who they are not because they are funny , rich , smart or good in bed .

Kaleidoscopiquant · 2022-02-04T00:37:47+00:00

all of the above. it's a fun thing to do in a casual setting, but also can be deeply intimate and special with the right person.

throwawayacc1347 · 2022-02-04T06:09:44+00:00

One of the most important and necessary activities for mental health. My sources? We, as living organisms, have a slightly "vested interest" in reproducing, producing unfortunate consequences for those deemed unfit to do so.

Archon_Gilbert · 2022-02-03T06:37:50+00:00

Depends on the woman. Sometimes there is a real emotional connection with cuddling and flirting that would make others vomit, chocolate chip pancakes the next morning etc. Sometimes I just need to fuck something. Some girls I feel that connection with, and some girls are something.

RabbitNRaccoon · 2022-02-03T07:22:13+00:00

Expression of shared intimacy.

I don't experience sexual arousal as an itch. Or as an strong carnal need that alot of people seem to have.

I like you. I love you. I respect you. I want to feel closer to you so I have sex as an expression of that feeling.

It's also why I don't prefer to orgasm most of the time as I find it incredibly mentally and physically draining requiring a long recovery period.

chromie96 · 2022-02-03T09:24:36+00:00

I think sex is whatever you make it to be. There are points where it is just scratching an itch or just fulfilling a need and there are times where it's a connection. I don't think the amount of sex someone has determines their worth. You sleep with a new person a night, good for you. You're staying a virgin until marriage, sounds awesome.

I grew up in a religious family who didn't talk about sex in a positive way and there is a lot of shame given towards the me and my sisters once its found out we have had premarital sex.

TheTruth221 · 2022-02-03T11:46:16+00:00

its needed like water and air

Ohmaygahh · 2022-02-03T15:51:47+00:00

Ah, great question. It's many things. A reward. A fun distraction, a gift, a relief of boredom, a power play, a social climbing move, to curry favor, a prelude to ask for something big soon after, an act only to be shared with the love of your life, a meaningless activity, a disgusting drive, the one true pleasure in life, something shameful, something beautiful...

the list goes on and on. How do I view it? A fun adult activity that I like to share with people I find attractive, that can include friends, women I want to form a deeper connection with or my primary partner.

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-02-03T17:40:05+00:00

It’s art to me. I can express myself fully while I’m digging into some pussy. Or while I eat it. Or while I kiss, etc etc. It’s like a dance too and it’s great to be a participant in it.

TheElusivePeacock · 2022-02-03T19:07:01+00:00

Something fun and fun physical and I find I’m in a lot better mood when I have orgasms. I’ve never really experienced “bonding” or looked at it as something intimate with a close partner. But I do view it as something that makes me happier and healthier overall. Nothing makes your skin glow like orgasms!

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faptemp44 · 2022-02-03T08:06:18+00:00

Strictly for the love of my life, the one and only. I would not easily give up my virginity, because for me sex is sacred and I expect my gf (or future wife if my current relationship fail) to do the same and has the same view about sex.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2022-02-03T10:52:34+00:00

Properly/ideally:

Sex should be very much an expression of respect, affection and bonding. Of both parties valuing each other, desiring each other and genuinely liking each other. An acknowledgement of each other's worthiness.

That said, I do acknowledge that sometimes (for men in general and for high-T women) the "itch" happens and it needs to be scratched or relieved somehow. Not only that, but men are encouraged to have sex with women to prove how hot they themselves are (this may have biological roots but I think there's a social component that amplifies this effect beyond the biological baseline). So sometimes, people WILL fuck those they don't actually like. There's some evidence that women feel worse about doing this than men do, on average.

Not to mention, when we acknowledge lookism, that's a huge monkey wrench thrown into the equation. Let us be honest - many women will fuck Nazi Chad and many men will fuck even the most psychotic Borderline Princess so long as either NC or BP are hot. I think studies have shown we reinterpret the way attractive people act in the most flattering way, and the reverse for unattractive people. And the blunt reality is that sexual attraction cannot be negotiated and lookism to-some-degree is inevitable at least sexually.

So yes. There is an ideal situation. But it has to negotiate with a reality that is, unfortunately, a little complex and often suboptimal.

logiauser · 2022-02-03T11:42:42+00:00

All of the above? In a relationship, it’s what proves there’s still a physical desire for me (partner eager and initiating). If it’s gone, so am I.

2022-02-03T12:12:22+00:00

Scratching an itch(which is high-key very satisfying when done properly).

I do have intimacy issues stemming from a not so great childhood so I think that’s why I never felt the other benefits people get from it

manfrom-nantucket · 2022-02-03T13:40:13+00:00

Sex - fun, enjoyable but ultimately something that needs to be enjoyed and compartmentalized so as to not affect other areas of your life. Look around you and most of the assholes who got fired or suffered a setback did so because they followed their cocks and cunts instead of their brains.

smartfellafeltsmart · 2022-02-03T14:08:37+00:00

I view it as all of the above.

BigAggravating1299 · 2022-02-03T15:13:58+00:00

Couple minutes of awesomeness, then done.

SilentFroggy · 2022-02-03T15:18:12+00:00

Sex is a simulation of mating. We mate with the best genes to pass on the next generation.

_Woodrow_ · 2022-02-03T15:35:50+00:00

It’s all those things and more.

It really depends on what the people participating are putting into it.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-02-03T16:30:23+00:00

Out side my escorting its connecting, bonding, loving, passion, feels good and well who doesn't like having an orgasm? Its part of having a healthy relationship. Sex is certainly very important to me and I wont be in a relationship with a man I dont want to F silly and bond with.

I dont connect, bond or have passion with my clients, its an acting job.

I was not taught I should wait for marriage but it is something special between two people. It is very much special with who Im dating. I do not have sex outside those Im in a relationship with except clients.

I currently dont date because I escort(and just busy in life right now too), Im waiting till I quit.

RealNiceLady · 2022-02-03T17:06:06+00:00

Sex should be saved for marriage. I was brought up this way.

HSeyes23 · 2022-02-03T17:44:01+00:00

I don't like it but I don't mind if my partner wants. I love masturbation though.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-02-03T17:56:43+00:00

I grew up in a repressive culture that I rebelled against, and my attitude about sex reflects that. I like it best when it's played against that backdrop of repression and taboo, doing stuff "we shouldn't be doing" - even though when examined on the face of it those acts are completely innocent.

Without all those mindgames, sex is a more intimate form of cuddling.

OldSimpsonsisbetter · 2022-02-03T20:36:33+00:00

I view sex as a manipulation tool used by women to get what they want from men.

Notsonewguy7 · 2022-02-03T20:43:53+00:00

A task.

NotGoingoutofMW · 2022-02-03T22:20:50+00:00

While being single: An unimaginable itch mentally and physically aswell as a bothersome distraction.

While in LTR: Connection, FUN!, and something precious but no rare i love to do with my partner all in one.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2022-02-03T22:54:28+00:00

Something that mostly chads get. And also the deepest form of intimacy between two lovers

That__EST · 2022-02-03T23:44:58+00:00

Sex is an activity that can be a lot of fun and should be done in a respectful manner with full consent of all parties. To me it has no further meaning.

Cheap-Pound7001 · 2022-02-03T23:55:32+00:00

To me, it is sacred.

No_Regular1586 · 2022-02-04T00:01:53+00:00

Everything you said and nothing at all.

42nanaimobars · 2022-02-06T00:50:35+00:00

Something I’d never want to have.

DrinkItInMan11 · 2022-02-03T11:55:57+00:00

I view it as a bit of fun, fuck waiting for sex for someone I love. I used to view sex as something intimate when I was Blue Pilled and made my ex wait three months before having sex, thank God I'm not that guy anymore.

Title	How do you view sex?
Author	LucyintheskyM
Upvotes	13
Comments	210
Date	February 3, 2022 6:33 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sjc6mf/how_do_you_view_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-you-view-sex.1100021 https://theredarchive.com/post/1100021

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