Human affection is NOT code for sex. If a man is truly lonely, he can make friends.

NinjaOfTheSouth · 2021-03-19T12:56:01+00:00

Guys can make freinds, granted freinds are not the problem for most guys. Guys as they get older want relationships/ romantic experiences. Saying a guy is lonely is not the equivalent of guys wanting freinds.

When a women says she’s lonely does that really mean she doesn’t have female freinds? No she’s most likely talking about romantic lonely. Same thing.

The reason humans in general say their lonely, (at least in this society ) means they want a partner of some sorts.

Dogecoin_trader · 2021-03-19T13:30:09+00:00

I see posts like these and I honestly start to think women dont even know what its like to be lonely.

Slyfer_Seven · 2021-03-19T13:36:56+00:00

First off, women love simps, they need simps, they just don't want to fuck simps...

For the rest, when you have a very shallow understanding of human emotion, it's hard to see the difference between the affection towards friends family and the affection towards a partner. You seem to think enough friend relationships and similar types of affection can make up for the lack of one partner relationship, because you believe affection is affection, that is your mistake.

By your logic, if you are separated from your family, but still surrounded by friends, you should never be lonely, but we know that is not the case because affection from friends is not the same as family. The same holds true for partners, because it's a different type of affection.

For men, partner affection is intertwined with sex, and even if some men have trouble clearly articulating the distinction, it doesn't change the fact that it's true and that it is a normal, healthy expression of that type of affection.

What is your agenda here exactly?

Simple-Craft-9577 · 2021-03-19T13:28:48+00:00

I think the friend zone is a paradox. Men that are sexually interested in a woman, don’t want to be her friend. Period. They want to date/sleep with her and are using the friendship as a means to get closer to that objective. The mistake that most men end up making is thinking that befriending a girl beyond a certain level will increase his chances of sleeping with her. For all guys out there, always remember to be clear about your intentions. If you want sex, don’t pretend to want friendship instead.

JB8511R · 2021-03-19T12:58:49+00:00

No one says it’s about sex. That’s a straw man and you know it. It’s about not being in a close relationship with someone, by which sex is usually included. A relationship provides a connection far deeper than friendship which is why asexuals still seek relationships.

Just look at r/Virgin. The people there aren’t lamenting their lack of sex, they’re sad that no one is close enough to them to warrant sex

Matt_Door · 2021-03-19T14:04:33+00:00

Look, I want what I want and I feel how I feel about it. Friendship is great, I have lots of friends, I have close friends I would hide a dead body for. Doesn’t fill the need. And yeah Sex is part of the whole intimacy thing, and it’s important to me.

If a woman in my life doesn’t like it, she knows where the door is and can leave anytime.

SaBahRub · 2021-03-19T13:47:21+00:00

Men can complain, we have a right to complain just as much as women. If you have a problem then don't deal with us. No one is forcing you to talk to us.

Prize-Thought-4205 · 2021-03-19T15:37:53+00:00

Every man in a heterosexual relationship with a women is only interested in sex, stop shaming incels virgins or lonely sexually frustrated for over a year men about it. Stop gaslighting them and lying to them, telling them being in their mental desert of not having something and wanting it being evil, wrong of them. The problem is if they were attractive to women they would already get the thing they truly want, affection and love from them. And wouldn’t care about sex too much. But they would most likely get sex in a relationship with the women eventually anyway. The problem is a lot of these men fear all women even the uglier ones are too busy hooking up with a few guys and they’re completely locked out of the game. It feels like absolute despair to be in that place when you see examples of it from girls irl all the time. The only friends unsuccessful men need are “chads” and successful men in life in general. Or maybe lesbian female friends that will genuinely help them with their hygiene clothing or whatever and teach them how to look good or behave around women they’re interested in.

YasuotheChosenOne · 2021-03-19T19:23:42+00:00

When men do socialize, their friendships are shitty. Look at how men treat their friends. No wonder they think sex is the only way for them to feel emotional connection.

GullibleAirport732 · 2021-03-19T13:26:44+00:00

I love it when women try to teach men how they feel lol. I'm 22M and in Pakistan, I know what a torture sexlessness is. If I was in a hyper sexualized society like in the West, I know I would've become mentally deranged lol. This post comes off as extremely demeaning and arrogant. OP obviously what it's like to be a man and how powerful male libido is. Sex is a measure of affection for us. So please keep your arrogant vitue signalling and rhetoric to your self. You have no idea what you're talking about.

We respect men who understand that there's more to life than fucking.

Yeah, that's like a billionaire telling poor people money doesn't buy happiness. Women in the West can get sex, that's why they feel there's more to life than it lol. Like I said, you don't know what it's like to be a man. Kindly keep your virtue signaling to yourself.

cloudsongs_ · 2021-03-19T21:07:34+00:00

Please say it louder for those in the back. Your life is only as miserable as you let it be. If you put sex on a pedestal and don't get it, congratulations, you and only you have made yourself miserable. I don't think a lot of kids are taught to do this anymore but you must learn to widen your social circle somehow.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-03-19T13:02:41+00:00

First of all, you are consistently strawmanning this. It's not "sex with a hot girl". It's SEX. with ANY reasonably passably attractive girl. Most of you girls are NOT "hot". The bar for what a man will accept sexually is really quite low.

Second, who the F are you to decide for men what they can and should do and what they should accept?

Third, it astounds me that women like you don't understand the fundaments of what being a man is. That's why they value sex.

If society wants to get past this, it needs to solve the inc * l problem. Yes, inc * ls need to do for themselves. But society needs to get out of their way and make it possible for them to do that.

reluctantly_red · 2021-03-19T13:18:34+00:00

why whining about the friendzone comes off shallow.

If these guys were truly the women in question friends you'd be correct. However, friendzoned guys are not actually a woman's friends -- they're a reserve labor pool.

armentho · 2021-03-19T13:38:39+00:00

Is an scale,the type of love between friends,family and romantic partner overlaps but rarely can replace the other completely

At the end of the day most people desire a partner Someone with they can share their lives,they want a family (read family "nucleous of people you share a life with" not necesarily having kids,2 person that have been living one along the other for decades are family)

Friends and family are nice,but at the end of the day they come to their home and have their own shit to worry about Their life paths are independent of yours at their very core,and thats fine it would be stupid to expect my friends to have me as "core" of their emotional priorities

But is nice being someone else "most important somebody" and that somebody being equally important to you,so i do desire romantic interest

Sex is mostly a collateral of that

If someone is romatically attracted to you and there isnt major medical or work barriers,loving sex is expected

When i feel sad over the lack of sex i dont do it as "im so horny im never managed to wet my dick",if that was the case a hooker would do

I do long for "sex as show of mutual affection and intimacy in a relationship",so i feel sad over the fact i have not managed to attain enough intimacy with someone else to that point

I dont think about it 24/7

But there are occasions that remind that at the end of day i lack a life partner and that mutual care and intimacy that comes with it (holidays,couple events,paople talking of how much they love their partners etc)

nemporisso · 2021-03-19T13:19:40+00:00

If a man is truly lonely, he can make friends.

It is definitely this simple!!!!!!!

colgateexpert · 2021-03-19T15:29:49+00:00

Friends don't provide affection, you fucking idiot. Men don't lack someone to joke around with, they lack someone who IS ATTRACTED TO THEM

Ohmaygahh · 2021-03-19T15:46:07+00:00

We respect men who understand that there's more to life than fucking. This is also why whining about the friendzone comes off shallow. The whiners never valued the friendship or the person they claimed to have loved. Whiny women just wanted to be worshiped. Whiny men just wanted sex.

I think that's the crux of it. Most men do NOT respect the double speak, obfuscation, outright denial of obvious truths from the majority of women. And then that they extremely downplay the benefits of it when women who; even the most plain, EVEN the most ugly and out of shape, have men willing to have sex with her. A quick analogy would be women living in a hot arid desert, currently having, have had, and will always continue to have fresh water at their disposable then turning their head to men and saying "ew, why are you so thirsty, gross. Stop being thirsty bro, just drink water and stop complaining... " except the majority of men have never tasted a clean drop of water in their lives, don't know how to or where to find it, and struggle because all he's ever known is eating sand, he begs for a contaminated drop of dirty water (a poor substitution for what he really yearns for) and feels it in his bones that he is debasing himself like a loser and STILL isn't successful or effective in finding clean water. Then he gets told he is not entitled to it at all, he can theoretically live and die without having ever tasted a genuine drop of clean water and that he should be ok with that while he sees the ease in which most women, and a select few men, have access to the quantity of quality of different water. Like they all have choices between Aquafina, Fiji, artisanal handcrafted quadruple distilled water, or if they want to bum it, NYC tap water. And he looks at his hands and continues to eat sand, choking with a dry throat he has had his entire life. It's fucking tone deaf.

Also women seem to have a strong resistance and repulsion to men coming together and speaking frankly about what's effective, what isn't, why women are attracted to something and what that means and its greater implications in life... women have such an aversion to it and try to shut that down through shaming and other tactics.

It's a chilling effect and that's disgusting.

Barely-moral · 2021-03-19T15:48:11+00:00

You don't get to decide nor say what anyone needs to stop being/feeling lonely.

I know I can make/have friends. I was always capable of forming friendships. Those did not remove the feeling of loneliness nor the suicidal thoughts. All therapy did was buy me a few years, some extra time before roping. Meeting miss moral and being in a romantic/sexual relationship solved the issue.

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SeemedGood · 2021-03-19T17:09:37+00:00

Newsflash, most women don't like simps. We respect men who understand that there's more to life than fucking.

The simps are the dudes who place so much value on the non-sexual components of their relationships with women that they’ll continue the relationships without the sexual component.

This is also why whining about the friendzone comes off shallow.

Because we don’t have a dualistic mating strategy and the dichotomous attraction cues that stem from it, we have a difficult time understanding why women have a category of men with whom they would be platonic friends only. For many (maybe most) of us, if a woman has all the qualities we seek in a good friend, that will substantially increase our sexual attraction to her, and until we garner enough experience with women to understand your natures, we (mistakenly) assume you think similarly.

It astounds me that there's a subset of men who truly don't value socializing if they can't put a dick in someone.

Nope. It’s that women tend to make shitty (and mediocre at best) friends - loads of drama, no real loyalty, everything’s conditional on utility, etc. Some dudes appreciate you because you give them easier access to other women, but beyond that, other men make better friends in every way.

zeedoctorzee · 2021-03-19T20:47:36+00:00

The relationship between different categories is different. Do you have the same relationship with your boyfriend as you do with your parents? With a coworker as with your best friend? No different relationships are different.

This isn't even getting into how women friends complain about emotional labor or guys trying to turn the friendship into something it is not these are literally the women you are saying guys should be seeking out to do just that.

OXOzymandias · 2021-03-19T21:59:31+00:00

Male friends dont give hug and shit like that, like there is a level of affection and closeness who can only experienced with a woman i feel

could be wrong tho

mae1995111 · 2021-03-21T00:48:37+00:00

Newsflash, most women don't like simps. We respect men who understand that there's more to life than fucking.

Simping behaviour isn't caused by sex in the slightest. It's caused by loving the person and wanting to do everything for them.

Pilling_it · 2021-03-19T13:05:35+00:00

Oh, nice, that's a daily now? Better match your energy.

If a man is truly lonely, he can make friends

Agreed, the "friendship" of women is way more conditional and less reliable.

Newsflash, most women don't like simps.

That would explain why men don't interact much beside for sex with women, since the friendship of men is more reliable.

So you actually explained why men interact with women mostly for sex. Nice.

Inevitable-Fix547 · 2021-03-19T13:22:37+00:00

Wrong. I almost exclusively use my looks to hook up not because I care about the sex but because I want the physical affection, the cuddling and someone to talk to. I literally fake orgasms 7/8 times so if you think I'm doing it for the sex you're delusional.

You can make friends but male friendships are nothing like female friendships. You're not getting affection from your bros. You're getting someone to shoot the shit with in between sets at the gym and someone to talk career paths with.

There are tons of guys like me

Elatea · 2021-03-19T14:05:27+00:00

You can have friends and be lonely.

All your post generalise and awful lot and because you this you have a narrow view. Men dont fit into a single category, I would even say less than women. All your posts come of as desperately looking for validation.

Det_Steve_Sloan · 2021-03-19T14:08:01+00:00

but seeing the constant threads explaining how not having sex with a hot girl equals being deprieved (sic)

Where are these threads again? Prove it. 'Constant' means, say, seven threads from the past ten days.

NegativeEntr0py · 2021-03-19T15:23:28+00:00

Do you cuddle naked with friends? Do you give naked massages and hold hands and forehead kisses and dance intimately?

PMmeareasontolive · 2021-03-19T17:50:43+00:00

I don't know if a lot of guys grew up like me, but I suspect some did, since men are expected to repress their emotions at an early age. My childhood wasn't horrible, but there was not a lot of love and affection. I don't know what emotional intelligence is exactly, but I probably had zero of it. Add to that, all aspects of sex were very taboo (I wasn't Catholic, but that influence was all around). I moved out as soon as I could.

But I was really a half baked loaf. I was shy around women because I had no idea what I was feeling or why. I brooded in what I hoped was a gothy way and smoked. It was experiences with women that brought me out of this, slowly. And it had to be sexual. Friends don't talk and experience things on that level (at least my friends didn't).

Carl Rogers said in order to change you need the unconditional positive regard of at least one other person (you can do it yourself but it's tough to accept yourself completely unless you are starting out from a pretty good place already). That's what the therapeutic relationship was supposed to mimic. I think this is what I was seeking, and found in relationships.

edit; just want to reiterate that I'm not talking about casual sex above.

801735 · 2021-03-19T12:59:51+00:00

~~Human affection is NOT code for sex. If a man is truly lonely,~~ he can make friends.

There.

Newsflash, most women don't like simps. We respect men who understand that there's more to life than fucking.

And after he pumps her up, do their best to turn him into a simp.

mechanical_elves · 2021-03-19T17:24:30+00:00

This is a bit meta but I'm confused by how this post has so few upvotes but many other posts by Lilith get hundreds of upvotes. Seems kind of arbitrary when practically all of them are garbage tier IMO.

hesipullupjimbo445 · 2021-03-19T18:02:05+00:00

Most platonic friendships serve no benefit to men. Friendships with other men only have legitimate value if they’ve known each other for a while, ideally since youth. Most men know the value of non sexual relationships, the thing is they just aren’t that valuable for men. What does a man gain from socializing with a woman? Nothing, the same case can be made for friendships with men but at least there is a level of relatability between men. Men understand what other men deal with, women will either gaslight you and say it isn’t that bad or attack your views because they are rooted in misogyny and “toxic masculinity”. Women like men that understand there is more to life than fucking as long as those other things aren’t more important than her.

Sid_Insidious · 2021-03-19T19:43:30+00:00

This is about "Not sympathizing with men" because most men are able to value non-sexual human relationships.

Riiiiiiight.... to a certain extent, and not to the extent women value non-sexual human relationships. Many women in pair bond relationships don't even think sex is necessary.

"Friendzone" has been covered. It's about a person who has a romantic interest in someone else that is not reciprocated. When using "soft" means of being around that person, it can happen than there a misunderstanding ensues.

You're still sitting there demonizing men because they value sex in certain contexts more-so than women do. But that's okay because this is the ongoing verbal diarrhea we've come to expect from feminists.

Nobody, on any large scale, is defending the men who think people are entitled to love and sex. You just want to make it look like "team men" is doing this, but we're not. We call men like that incels and include ourselves in the larger group of people who do not agree with these these concepts.

I'm RP AF and I don't go around saying that being sexually invisible is the same as a child crying for it's missing mother and her breastmilk.

"Look a guy on the internet is entitled to sex. See? All men are entitled to sex!"

Sorry, we're not buying that anymore. "Just because a feminist says it...."

2021-03-19T19:47:29+00:00

We respect men who understand that there's more to life than fucking.

There is more to life than fucking...and it usually does not require women or involving women complicates or ruins it. This is however a space to discus intersexual relationships and "fucking" is one of the main aspects of the subject.If you want to discuss cars or something there are better subs.

The whiners never valued the friendship or the person they claimed to have loved. Whiny women just wanted to be worshiped. Whiny men just wanted sex.

Yes. Because a woman's friendship is worthless at best and generally expensive if it is not inside of a committed relationship involving lots of "fucking".

THe1NES · 2021-03-19T16:29:23+00:00

It’s a need of nearly all human beings man or woman to have love and compassion and physical contact in their life. If this is left out people become unwell. Modern romance is so fucked because we choose to add all this bullshit that gets in the way of loving whoever you want by saying you can’t be this or that. I don’t fucking care if you “simp”, are “alpha”, are “cucked” or are in the “friendZone”. I don’t even know what all this jargon that’s made up to force people to conform means. The problem with modern love is that it dictates who you are supposed to love. We live in a love dictatorship without realizing it. Do whatever the fuck you want to meet your needs with whoever you want so long as you don’t hurt them. Yes, men need sex. So do women. With traditionally “attractive” People? No. But like I said nearly all people need intimate physical contact in order to be well. It’s sad that people like the OP only pay attention to some who are misguided while seeking to meet this need rather than seeing the underlying plea for help and need for change in our society.

rhomu-31 · 2021-03-19T16:35:49+00:00

In your opinion

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-03-19T17:01:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

GrandRub · 2021-03-19T18:37:11+00:00

if you are truly hungry you will eat any food .. yeah...

but sex is another form of human affection - and its a very nice form of human affection.

2021-03-19T20:17:04+00:00

This is also why whining about the friendzone comes off shallow. The whiners never valued the friendship or the person they claimed to have loved.

Well no shit, thats the difference between the friendzone and just being friends. If you really are friends, then it is not the "friendzone" or being "Friendzoned".

We respect men who understand that there's more to life than fucking.

Unfortunately a lot of guys shame themselves quite heavily due to this one aspect of life. Also, there is no solution. Humans are gonna human.

MLPorsche · 2021-03-21T15:18:58+00:00

Newsflash, most women don't like simps. We respect men who understand that there's more to life than fucking.

i've been in a decade long unrequited love and i would gladly become a 40 year old virgin if it meant i could be with her

KobaLeaderofRedArmy · 2021-03-24T15:31:53+00:00

You think "friends" give half a fuck about hearing your bullshit problems? You really can't comprehend life for a man, can you?

C-12345-C-54321 · 2021-03-30T14:55:33+00:00

This is idiotic, you can't choose your desires, if you feel suicidally depressed about not having sex with a hot girl, then you feel suicidally depressed about not having sex with a hot girl. If you're not interested in other ways of social interaction, then you're not interested in other ways of social interaction.

Women (and men, it just tends to be more women I think) who believe men somehow are only depressed when they are sexless because of some kind of entitlement mentality or societal indoctrination that tells them they ought to have sex are delusional.

Somehow, just witnessing sexual frustration prompts them to engage in all kinds of accusations against the guy right away. ''AH so you're sexually frustrated so you think we should legalize rape, huh??? Entitled raper you! U want sex, ur evil!''.

Would this mentality be acceptable in other aspects of life, like let's say a cripple who really badly wants to be a runner with normal legs, or someone who lost a friend and is sad that they don't have that friend anymore.

''Ah so you're some kind of entitled whiner who thinks they have a right to legs and friends??? Cry me a river!''...what the fuck does it have to do with entitlement? Is it so hard to just acknowledge suffering and not downplay it?

Title	Human affection is NOT code for sex. If a man is truly lonely, he can make friends.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	6
Comments	639
Date	March 19, 2021 12:50 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/m8gjhu/human_affection_is_not_code_for_sex_if_a_man_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/human-affection-is-not-code-for-sex-if-a-man-is.1190598 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190598

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