Q4M: would you date a slob?

wtknight · 2025-04-15T15:02:37+00:00

I wouldn’t date anyone who is more of a slob than me.

NockerJoe · 2025-04-16T01:58:54+00:00

You can find like 4 women who look like that at an average gas station and 3 of them are with their husbands or boyfriends.

Peter_Andre_IQ · 2025-04-15T14:57:27+00:00

No way. I cannot stand the mess - I feel overwhelmed and tired in such environment, I cannot even breathe when there is a mess around me - i feel like the air is not having enough oxygen and is sticky.

M3taBuster · 2025-04-15T16:40:25+00:00

I'd date a woman who still lived with her parents and was maybe a bit disorganized. But not if her living space was genuinely gross and smelled, like you described.

bread93096 · 2025-04-15T15:20:07+00:00

No, I’m borderline OCD level obsessed with cleanliness and simply could not live that way. My skin would be itching every time I stepped into her apartment.

shadowstep12 · 2025-04-15T20:15:05+00:00

Depends does she look like she would steal my organs?

No?

Then yeah I would date her.

A place that bad just means she has depression or another form of ND

And I'm fine with trying to navigate that

I just wouldn't try to change her.

People can only change if they want to and unless part of her inability to do so is medical I'm not going to force her to move faster than she wants to.

Now if she was all those things and morbidly obese then I would be friends with her but I doubt our personalities would click farther than that

Barely-moral · 2025-04-15T16:31:47+00:00

Yes I would. Any is better than none.

RapaxIII · 2025-04-15T15:19:49+00:00

Women are already naturally dirty and messy AF (compare bathrooms alone), why would a slob be more appealing on top of that?

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Gravel_Roads · 2025-04-15T15:32:56+00:00

No. Some of these items are just basic human stuff - My dishes aren’t always done either! I’ve stayed at my mother’s for a few months between jobs, too.

But this level of decay speaks of maladaptive coping mechanisms. I’m a counselor who specifically works in housing. Dealing with people who never learned to clean up after themselves is too close to what I do for a living.

Fortunately, my partner is basically OCD. They clean more than I do.

Ace2Face · 2025-04-15T15:47:06+00:00

No, especially if relationship material. She looks alright, but she's not hot enough that I would let go of my principles.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2025-04-15T15:49:42+00:00

Lives in her mom's basement

Why would anyone do that lmao. Like,67% or so people here leave in flats,where even is the basement lol

Dirty dishes everywhere

Don't care, but why tf ain't she using plastic/paper plates lol

Cheeto dust on keyboard, remote, gamepad

Yeah nqy that's over the limit,just brush it off ffs.

Pizza box towers

Don't care tbf

Bathroom is a disaster zone

💀

Nowhere to sit

If it's because of clothes everywhere, don't care, if its something gross,then 💀

Sticky unknown film covering everything

💀

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-04-15T16:33:51+00:00

It would entirely depend on who they are aside from being a slob, if that were the only or one of the only negative traits then sure.

Psykotyrant · 2025-04-15T17:44:33+00:00

Jesus H Christ…I’m an absolute neat freak, so no. Heck, I know of a few guys at work who are way less choosy than me in that aspect, and one of them admitted that he simply couldn’t get hard in one instance just because her BO was that bad.

In my case, my autism also comes with easy sensory overload. I can’t tolerate strong odors anymore than loud noises.

Not to mention, unless she’s gifted with absolutely killer genetics, she’s not going to look even remotely like a good looking human being.

Efficient-Baker1694 · 2025-04-15T17:55:31+00:00

Jello_Vivid · 2025-04-15T18:02:36+00:00

I would give her a chance but try and nudge her to change her hygiene habits otherwise I would date her short not for long-term.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-04-15T18:06:03+00:00

I'd fuck her at my place and drop her after a couple of months.

I_DOM_UR_PATRIARCHY · 2025-04-15T18:15:22+00:00

That level of slovenliness is definitely a negative, but people are a whole package of good things and bad things.

If she also had an amazing personality, or shared my interests, was caring and kind, etc., then I still might date her. It would depend how the whole package balances out.

You can always pay for a cleaning service if the relationship works out and you end up living together.

KayRay1994 · 2025-04-15T18:26:44+00:00

Absolutely not. Having been a slob in the past and have since then cleaned up, I now feel uneasy in dirty living spaces (I clean my apartment roughly twice a week). Of course, a bit of a mess is fine, but the conditions you describe - ie. potential roach nests - is a big no for me

anewlookav · 2025-04-15T18:32:39+00:00

I absolutely would not

Clean-Luck6428 · 2025-04-15T19:07:10+00:00

Casual relationship where we don’t cohabitate

Steakman1 · 2025-04-15T19:22:52+00:00

I’m very sensitive to bad smells. So no.

Downtown_Werewolf_44 · 2025-04-15T19:49:26+00:00

I wouldn't mind the mom's basement.

For the rest, nope, no way, I'm to much into living in a clean and tidy environment to stand that.

Proudvow · 2025-04-15T20:50:04+00:00

Sure, why not.

Let's not talk about her car

I am surprised she has one.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-04-15T20:51:55+00:00

Not a chance for a date but i might smash somewhere else after i find out how she lives.

Im sure if you are down bad and have no options then you kinda have no choice and you take what you can get.

nonquitt · 2025-04-15T21:26:57+00:00

Absolutely not

shadowrangerfs · 2025-04-15T21:52:29+00:00

Living in mom's basement is a deal breaker at my age. I can live with messy.

ArtifactFan65 · 2025-04-15T22:10:17+00:00

Maybe if she was hot but I would have to clean up after her.

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-04-15T23:44:00+00:00

HELL NO. Even 10/10 hot.

I had a crush on this chick once. Until I got into her car.

SomeSugondeseGuy · 2025-04-15T23:56:09+00:00

My room is a mess basically exclusively because of clothes. Anything that smells goes.

I'd date someone like that, but not a slob.

Well, now thinking more about it, if I were to be a househusband and she made bank, absolutely.

just_a_place · 2025-04-16T02:32:11+00:00

If I find her attractive, yes.

I don't see a problem.

Stock-Argument-1040 · 2025-04-16T02:40:43+00:00

No. Mum's basement? Fine. It's rough out there, housing is a major expense. Messy living space is fine (not ideal but I also live in what I call 'organised chaos' so I'm probably messy to a lot of people) but dirty is not. I could date a woman who leaves clothes outside the hamper, has a pile of empty water bottles and has stuff all over her desk. Once we're getting into the old food laying around, unidentifiable smells territory I can't put up with that.

projecteddesperation · 2025-04-16T02:41:22+00:00

Depends on the slobbery. All of those combined probably not. Some of those are forgivable or explainable like I had piles of dirty dishes growing up that went away once I had access to my own dishwasher. I spent months using a cardboard box as my table and the floor as my seat after moving into a big city apartment after college and staggering furniture purchases over time.

Also I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman with a clean car. Most women’s cars are like big purses. I don’t really care though because it’s super common and normal to prioritize organization and cleaning to when/where it actually matters.

thunderchungus1999 · 2025-04-16T02:56:22+00:00

I expect my partner to put a similar effort into their life as I do (assuming the person you described is full body abled). Even if I love them with my heart there would be a wide gap when it comes to what we got in common that turn things boring.

Guys who say "yeah sure whatever" usually tend to steongly want some form of affection (can't blame them for that) or just interested in sex where having quite a power inbalance between partners becomes lowkey weird ngl.

-Kalos · 2025-04-16T03:30:25+00:00

No. I could do with someone who's disorganized like me but I can't do someone who goes into unhygienic territory. Hygiene and a non hazardous living space is a must

Emyncalenadan · 2025-04-16T09:42:49+00:00

Going to go against the consensus here and say yeah, probably. I wouldn't like any of this, but I'm something of a slob myself (I think that this question is targeted at us slobs who want-but-can't-get-girlfriends, anyway,) so who am I to judge? I'd probably try to work on some of the really big stuff in a longer term relationship (the smell, stick film, her car, and the bathroom) but it wouldn't be a big deal overall. Honestly, I'd probably just be overjoyed that someone I was actually attracted to wanted to date me. Beggars can't be choosers.

SilentFroggy · 2025-04-16T12:56:56+00:00

Depends on why she is a slob. Could be depressed. So if she’s willing to change, why not?

James_M_Croft · 2025-04-16T18:49:35+00:00

Yes, I would date a slob, and with the exception of the cheeto, everything seem to describe an ex of mine.

As long as she is not cheating like my ex did, it is fine.

You really should talk to men more... you think our brothers and male friends are any better?

Zypherzor · 2025-04-16T19:42:31+00:00

Yea, I will give her a chance to clean herself up and she would need to make it a habit. If both fail then maybe not.

Lower-Director1043 · 2025-04-17T05:19:46+00:00

does she give good head ?

onlyaseeker · 2025-04-17T14:52:25+00:00

You are not describing "a slob." You're describing someone with either mental health issues, or some sort of disability who does not have the support they need.

So your scenario is unrealistic, because you're suggesting this would not be indicated in other ways. It would.

Perhaps because you're essentially mirroring male examples of this, but in a woman. And generally, society has different standards for how it handles mental health and disability when it comes to men and women.

balhaegu · 2025-04-18T09:00:37+00:00

Plot twist, she makes 500k a year and looks like a top celebrity, has a nice attitude, and can hire maids, but choses not to.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2025-04-19T12:33:58+00:00

No. I'm no perfect clean freak, I have dirty dishes in the sink right now. But I do keep my house straightened up, clean the bathroom (or at least the sink and toliet) daily and wash my sheets and clothes weekly. I vacuum and dust at least 2 or 3 times a month. Any more than that is overkill. I live alone so I don't produce a big mess. But no I would not date a slob to that extent. I have ADHD and I consider my place could be better, but its not that bad. My house looks dirtier than it is because its cluttered. I have too much damn stuff. I'm a shopaholic and always have something pending in my amazon account to be delivered. I buy everything online though. Like essentials like hygeine stuff, etc.

GofukYourselves · 2025-04-22T04:13:07+00:00

Nah that's a no go for me my woman cooks and cleans this is never an issue.

berichorbeburied · 2025-04-15T16:18:40+00:00

If she’s sexually attractive?
Then I would
I would put extra effort and navigate difficult terrain and troubled waters
If she’s sexually attractive then it’s worth it
No one’s perfect and everyone has flaws
Maybe she fixes her flaws or keeps them. Either way it’s 100% worth it
If I reframe it another way
I would not be with a sexually unattractive woman or a man no matter how perfect of a human being they are or how rich they are or etc
I don’t need a woman to be perfect in any way nor do I want it
It would be beneficial I guess but not necessary
I can adapt
The most important thing is sexual attraction
That’s what makes me want to spend money. What makes me want to support and provide and care. What makes me want to want and lust and desire. It can even cause me to unconditionally love and etc
It’s the foundation of everything
There is also love
But love without desire is a friendship
And love is beneficial
But it cannot compare to desire and want and sexual attraction

Goonerlouie · 2025-04-15T20:20:22+00:00

I swear you’ve asked this before

Jetpine9 · 2025-04-15T15:42:18+00:00

Date, sure. Live with? No. As long as her personal hygiene was good (which I guess it wouldn't be in this hypothetical). My first girlfriend was a hoarder I think (or maybe it was the mom). At the time I didn't know that was a thing.

99TimesAround · 2025-04-16T04:03:37+00:00

If she’s hot, hell yeah. But no relationship, just fwb

Title	Q4M: would you date a slob?
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	15
Comments	122
Date	April 15, 2025 2:52 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jztuyk/q4m_would_you_date_a_slob/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-would-you-date-a-slob.1549660 https://theredarchive.com/post/1549660

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