The term ‘Situationship’ is used almost exclusively by women when they are FwB-zoned by a guy above their league

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2023-12-26T14:33:18+00:00

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One_Government4818 · 2023-12-26T04:08:44+00:00

Schrodinger's casual sex. the sex is not determined to be casual or not until a debate comes up in PPD in which case women are allowed to choose freely whether or not the sex they've had in the past was in fact casual or not.

operatowers · 2023-12-26T04:07:01+00:00

"are you guys dating?"

"nah, she's just a girl I'm talking to"

Jake_Barnes_ · 2023-12-26T07:12:46+00:00

Damn you hit the nail on the head, 9 times out of 10 if two people have had sex on numerous occasions and aren’t dating it’s because the guy doesn’t like her enough to date her 😂

gntlbastard · 2023-12-26T03:13:03+00:00

women are experts at creating euphemisms in order to cope with reality. Like the term bbw - because being referred to as a fatso was just not that tasteful.

RevolutionaryJob7908 · 2023-12-26T06:02:07+00:00

^Thread, no needed additional explanation. OP knocked it out.

I might add in that we should be aware of 'new words' which are just a reiteration of what already exists.

CountMandrake · 2023-12-26T08:53:05+00:00

What I find so fucking funny it's the similarities among women even across cultures and languages.

Here in Argentina, when a girl is getting her back blown by a dude who doesn't want anything with her beyond sex, they say...

"No estoy en una relación, estoy en una "complicación"..."

Which comes directly from the amount of young gals who state "It's complicated" in their relationship status on their Facebook pages.

Because you know...

Explaining why the dude who's banging you everyday but wants nothing to do with you without feeling like a cheap whore must be very complicated.

Guys in Argentina joke a lot about staying away from girls in "complications", as those complications often come with a dick attached to them, and they are also many, in many directions.

And like... I swear these "situationships" and the "complications" are not related at all, social trends wise.

They seem to have appeared in the same timeline tho, but I atribute that not to social media trends, but the actual rise in hook up culture in the western world.

And of course, women's linguistic strategies.

We like to think women are all different, but...

And this is a funny anecdote.

I have a friend, +15 years my senior, who's a psychologist (among many other things) One of the smartest men I've met in person, if not the most. Dude is just brillant.

He also speaks many languages, and has traveled around the world quite a bit.

Years ago I remember he told me he had yet to met a language, a culture, a society, in which women don't say

"It's not you... It's me."

And he has yet to met a society in which the men, upon hearing these words, do not inmediately interpret this as

"It's not you... It's me. And the other dude."

As a note, I would add in this too other commonalities such as "I'm confused" and "I need space/time" (to which argentinian dudes always add "space for another dick/time to taste another dick" hahaha).

He has a term for women's linguistic ways, I don't think there is a proper translation to the term but it's something like "female sublinguistic framing".

He's convinced that women's ways with the words are actually an evolutive process that has survived through cultures, and that women use words differently than men.

He also told me women purposefully do not count the men they hooked up with as sexual partners to lower their "body counts".

During therapy sessions, he told me that women who went seeking help for a lover they struggled to get over would dance around the issue without mentioning these guys, making the recovery process innecesarily long.

I remember he literally said something along the lines of:

"It's not the way things should be done, professionally speaking, because you need the patient to open up about what they feel like in the moment. But, and since psychology has it's experimental processes, during the sessions with women, and specially with younger ones, I learned that leading the interaction to them opening up about their romantic lives is often the way to make a fast progress and help them ease the pain, because they want to talk about it, but they won't do it by themselves, and sometimes even DOWNPLAY the importance these men have in their mental health by saying "he's just good for the sex but I'm not intrested in pursuing things further". These girls seem to live in DENIAL to protect their egos, it's like a defense mechanism where they pretend they don't like the man, when in reality they do. I never treat men with these issues."

He then learned to identify which women were there to speak about their "uncommited" FWBs and "fuck buddies", from the ones who are struggling because of other factors.

Girls who develop sadistic tendencies, have self steem issues, or who give "hints" of mysandrist tendencies, are often hurt, or have been hurt in the past, by a man's refusal to commit to them.

He said the amount of women who struggle with depression because of this has increased tremendously in the last years.

And yes, according to him, there is a huge crisis in women's mental health, and lots of It has to do with hook up culture and the normalization of casual sex among the younger cohort of women.

Mind you, we had these talks with my man long years ago, before the pandemic (damn, how fast time run by).

I don't think my friend has ever heard of the Redpill neither, for the record.

This is, IMO tho, what Terpers call "The Hamster", if I'm getting it right.

James_Cruse · 2023-12-26T11:18:48+00:00

It’s great term for women to ease the reality that they are getting used for sex by a guy way out of their league who will never (or is very unlikely) commit to them.

It’s simply a delusional way to label something as a type of relationship or relationship adjacent - where none exists.

It’s the equivalent of women’s “Hope IS a strategy” lol.

These same women will answer surveys saying they are in a “relationship” and the guy she’s in a situationship with will answer the survey as “single” - that’s why there’s a disparity of men who are single in those surveys.

likeitusedtobe · 2023-12-26T03:56:44+00:00

brah why am i reading this stuff on christmas?

MasterTeacher123 · 2023-12-26T05:33:45+00:00

“It’s complicated” is usually code for fucking someone better than you who won’t claim you publicly lol

SnooMarzipans6929 · 2023-12-26T04:31:26+00:00

I hate the term situationship. Bro. This is a FWB dynamic. If you don't like it then find someone who gives you a relationship.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-12-26T05:06:20+00:00

And here we see how terminology designed to obfuscate really brings out people's assumptions.

I had what I would nowadays call a situationship for four years. He wanted a normal relationship, I was still bitter from a previous relationship and said no way in hell was I committing to exclusivity or making life decisions with him in mind.

MacaronFinancial · 2023-12-26T12:37:58+00:00

In a way every situation is a 'situationship' when there is an imbalance of either power or values.

You could say that most 'beta' (non-handsome) guys are in a situationship in the sense that the woman could monkey branch. But as time builds up, life situations and paths narrow, memories are solidified etc. people find it impossible to separate.

Situationships are a thing for very young people or perhaps older women who never invested in a relationship with a man close to her own level.

DaugiiE · 2023-12-26T04:31:08+00:00

this was helpful, seems like every day these idiots come up with new terms to avoid any kind of self-reflection or accountability.

FebruaryEightyNine · 2023-12-26T03:24:58+00:00

Whilst I DEFINITELY don't think there are a bunch of attractive women having casual relationships with men uglier than them...many discount how men can be put off from dating attractive women due to behavioural incompatibility.

I'm super attracted to my fiance. She's my type and gorgeous in my eyes (and she has a fat ass on a size 6 frame which is a big thing for me) but I dated some absolute hotties before I got serious with her. I didn't take any of them seriously because we either had nothing in common personality wise or they weren't all that serious themselves. One such was a tall blonde who was a total thot. Nice girl but just not someone I got have a fruitful relationship with.

Det_Steve_Sloan · 2023-12-26T13:05:25+00:00

Also known as: Fat women refusing to date fat men, getting Fuck-Zoned by normal men.

Literal_Jesus_ · 2023-12-26T02:54:33+00:00

nopills girlie

I have never slept with a guy immediately that I wanted commitment from.

When I had “situationships” I also had similar arrangements with other people and was aware that they did as well. At that period of my life I wasn’t interested in a relationship.

Y’all need to start considering that we are also looking for “no strings attached” sex.

No-You7911 · 2023-12-26T05:17:24+00:00

No, it's used when any man refuses to agree to an actual relationship.

KayRay1994 · 2023-12-26T02:54:26+00:00

naaah - really depends, i’m sure lots of women do use the term as a form of denial, but there are lots of situations that best describe… well, uncertain romantic experiences.

Ex. maybe both people for one reason or another don’t want to or can’t commit, maybe feelings are there and the sexual aspect is there but it isn’t working out, maybe the timing isn’t there and so on.

Of course, ‘situationships’ do suck and as a popular term they’re exclusively a millennial/gen z thing; though i think that speaks more to people’s fear of commitment or anxiety towards growing up. Ie. the fact that situationships are so common now are symptomatic of larger societal issues, not exclusively “women want men above their league but the men are just fucking them”

ChiBron86 · 2023-12-26T04:38:07+00:00

Facts

This is also just common sense. We all know in a casual setting, women only fuck UP. So they are rarely ever having sex just for the sex alone. The sex will almost always be with a guy they consider a 'catch'. And naturally, the goal is to turn this 'catch' into an actual partner. And when that doesn't happen, it becomes a "situationship". Women are masters at coddling their ego.

rindpickles · 2023-12-26T04:48:37+00:00

He doesn’t have to be above their league. They’re just not willing to let him go, for whatever reason

Sabrepill · 2023-12-26T03:33:45+00:00

This is exactly true. I met an attractive 45 year old woman last year, I’m 42, and on the first date made it clear I’m looking to start a family with someone. She already had children who are now adults. But instead of it going nowhere it turned into a situationship

clownsecx · 2023-12-26T04:59:09+00:00

Women in this day and age really are repulsive. They all want to have their cake and eat it. I think we are going to witness an extreme shift in our lifetimes where alot of this behaviour is no longer tolerated.

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-12-26T03:07:12+00:00

In my twenties, I had a handful of FWB partners. All but one of the guys wanted to take things further and start a serious relationship, but I wasn’t interested. This is more common than what you think.

SilentFroggy · 2023-12-26T03:58:06+00:00

I think they do want fwb but that’s just part of their hoe phase after getting pumped and dumped.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2023-12-26T06:08:03+00:00

every time i see a woman in her 30s talk about her situationship i cringe a little inside. i mean it's understandable to be delusional at the age of 20 or something but at like 34? god bless the souls of the simps who wife these women.

philseven12 · 2023-12-26T05:53:53+00:00

Regardless of what they call it, women still take their L's so dudes should stop being so upset at the options women have in general. Men get rejected on the front end and women get rejected on the backend

Every woman from time to time has to make that moo face when they find out the dude only want the milk and not the whole dam COW lmao

gator-tears · 2023-12-26T03:18:47+00:00

I don’t think it has anything to do with relative attractiveness, more of just either the woman or man being more emotionally invested into it than the other. Also I just think that’s just a term that women enjoy using, I’ve known men in the same situation who just don’t use that term.

SleepyPoemsin2020 · 2023-12-26T03:40:37+00:00

Past relationships I have refered to as situationships were exclusively relationships that I did not want to progress further. Situationships vary and there is not a one-size-fits-all explanation.

SeveralLiterature980 · 2023-12-26T03:32:30+00:00

There are many blindspots that the red/black pills have and this area or should I say arena is one of them.

The trope of fast sex leading to casual sex situations being relations that always favor the man.

These encounters are much more variable than the pills give them credit for.

In the case of a dude casually smashing a chick. Sure, (1) she may give all these verbal indicators of ommmmmmg whr do u never respond....aka i want more and (2) may be willing to have him show up just to have sex at odd intervals.

But

The real test is what would happen if that same dude flipped the conduct 180 and suddenly did try to commit?

>50% of these situations would be revealed for what they truly are: two emotionally unavailable people using one another for various reasons. The woman here spins this narrative about wanting x y and z secretly knowing that isn't going to happen so it allows her to rationalize her current life choice as something other than "ya right now in my life I just want to get some occasional dick, nothing more."

men rarely get to be fuck buddies of women above their leagues.

More men should. They would immediately realize why women are more deserving of pity than scorn.

As in, straight up you are only valued for sex. Most men think they know what this is like but they don't.

It's not chill.

Regardless, there are countless examples of men who want more and who are currently sleeping with some woman who does not want more. Such men for whatever reason are dismissed as "betas," despite the fact that they're sleeping with the woman in question and likely got to that point fast.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-12-26T11:01:04+00:00

Yet he'll often claim it's a relationship or something close to it to the woman in question, hence the confusion. And there's nothing wrong with having two different words for the same thing.

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Title	The term ‘Situationship’ is used almost exclusively by women when they are FwB-zoned by a guy above their league
Author	HamzaAghaEfukt
Upvotes	162
Comments	280
Date	December 26, 2023 2:48 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18qxta2/the_term_situationship_is_used_almost_exclusively/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-term-situationship-is-used-almost-exclusively.1241570 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241570

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