What does being a "high value man" mean to you?

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-05-08T14:46:55+00:00

It’s a term other people use to describe successful men

Vikklee · 2025-05-08T14:47:23+00:00

I didn’t even have the term “high value man” in my radar until the Andrew tate bros started spewing it everywhere.

A high value man for me has always been somebody who would take care of me and be a good father to future children. That’s literally all I ever thought about in terms of dating and marriage.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2025-05-08T20:12:23+00:00

Someone who is confident in who he is as a person, who is reliable and kind, who has his shit together, and who wants a partner, not a mommy-maid.

attendquoi · 2025-05-08T14:52:35+00:00

I consider a man high-value if he meets all my standards for dating. It's subjective, not objective. I don't care how many other women might want him...he's not valuable to me if I don't.

ChadChasingBReturns · 2025-05-08T14:49:21+00:00

A high value man to me is my age, attractive, fit, socially adjusted, educated, emotionally intelligent, mentally healthy and stable, and has excellent character.

lle-ell · 2025-05-08T15:38:36+00:00

Attractive and socially savvy

floracalendula · 2025-05-08T14:52:28+00:00

Intelligent enough to hold his own in a conversation between us. Dresses and grooms himself well and actually cares about his presentation. Has a profession of some sort, in which he plans to stay (no midlife crisis shit here). Lives well within his means. Won't make me a travel widow -- I cannot travel due to a medical issue. Reasonably sized wang (somewhere between 3.5-5.5"). Attractive enough that I want to fuck him; not obese but needn't be ripped by a long shot. A little cushion is fine. Emotionally intelligent, votes liberal consistently. ("Apolitical" just means "you wouldn't like the way I view voting so I'm going to hide it", I find.)

oppositegeneva · 2025-05-08T14:58:10+00:00

How I would define a man of high value;

Emotionally intelligent, competent, loyal, kind, confident, strong leader, actively pursues and achieves his goals, family oriented.

“High value men” typically don’t describe themselves as such.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2025-05-08T14:51:52+00:00

As a woman, I never use this term unironically

sadmatchatea · 2025-05-08T15:18:35+00:00

Intelligent, honest, socially aware, knows how to dress, perfect hygiene/smells good, good in bed and decently attractive (to me). I personally don’t care about his job or income.

ashpr0ulx · 2025-05-08T15:11:00+00:00

for me, a high value man is a man of remarkable character, with high integrity and a strong sense of self. he must be so rooted in his values that nothing can shake him.

hakunaa-matataa · 2025-05-08T15:41:20+00:00

I really dislike the term “high value man” because it seems to suggest that there’s no like. Subjectiveness in dating.

That being said, I’d consider someone who is more likely to be successful in dating to probably be open with their emotions (don’t shove things down but also don’t break down sobbing at inappropriate times), takes responsibility for their health and wellbeing (eating in a relatively healthy sense, working out/doing active hobbies, therapy if that’s something they feel they’d benefit from, medication if that’s something they feel they’d benefit from), establishes boundaries with everyone (yes including me), likely comfortable in their own skin (they don’t have to be the life of the party or cocky, and they’re allowed to have insecurities, just not stewing in self-hatred), doesn’t utilized weaponized incompetence to avoid chores/participates in the household chores without me spelling it out for them (obviously we’ll come to a compromise on what he values in staying clean and what I value in staying clean, relationships are all about compromise so I’m not going to demand he bends to my standards but I do expect participation), and has a stable career that allows them to live somewhat comfortably on their own (so ~70k range or up in the U.S. would be preferable. I’m fine being the breadwinner).

And I want them to want me because I add to their life, not because getting a romantic partner is their sole purpose in life. I can’t feel solely responsible for someone’s emotional wellbeing. I’ve been in relationships like that before and it’s exhausting.

Inb4: “well what do you bring to the table”; A: relationships are not transactional like that and B: plenty, including the features I listed above (to the best of my ability) and a stable job that pays well.

Powerful_Monitor3659 · 2025-05-08T16:19:52+00:00

Looks like a Chad, acts like a simp.

ThatBitchA · 2025-05-08T15:21:41+00:00

It means the person using it is immature.

It means nothing. It's made up term by men to describe the men they want to be but can't.

It means nothing to me.

Available-Level-6280 · 2025-05-08T16:27:26+00:00

This whole thing, this whole sub, has really got me thinking. We have all these expectations of who we'd want in a partner and our own expectations for ourselves, etc. Our own unmet desires and our own hopes and dreams for the future. It's so complex and complicated! It complicates everything, too, because another person may not feel the same way as you. I truly believe in alignment. A person has got to be headed to where I'm going if it's going to work out for me. We are going somewhere to the same destination, so let's help each other out on the way there.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2025-05-08T18:12:55+00:00

Nothing. I don't know what to imagine. I just want subjective attraction that's all.

To imagine high value man I would imagine rich man for a golddiger to use for money.

half_avocado33 · 2025-05-08T15:11:18+00:00

To me, a high value man = an undesirable man on hopium

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Available-Level-6280 · 2025-05-08T15:35:27+00:00

High emotional intelligence and is considerate of others, is financially stable, and has a history of steady employment, down to earth, etc. Isn't lazy when it comes to basic hygiene. I don't really care about his style or how he dresses, but some thought should go into how he decides to put himself forward and approach people. How he approaches or reacts to different life situations. It's one thing to be assertive when necessary or to be helpful. It's another thing to be disagreeable all the time, like when he doesn't get his way. If he gets mad because he didn't get his way or when he doesn't get his way every time, that's a red flag to me. I like laid-back chill people, I couldn't handle someone who needed to be doing things with me or talking to me all the time. I'm the type that likes video games, sitting at home, sometimes doing nothing. I'm very much a homebody, and I don't care to go out regularly. I need someone to meet my looks threshold at the very least. My looks threshold is not super high but in the middle, I would say.

bv0724 · 2025-05-08T16:23:20+00:00

These metrics are according to the matchmaking services scoring or for arranged marriage cause my country still uses them. Educated at a top school. From an established family. Holds a prestigious job (or is rich but that’s lower tier usually). Tall and handsome. Not balding. 35+ gets points ducked. Net worth. Personality/values matter too apparently.

Not that I would choose based on these metrics, but that’s how actual services determine tiers. Whoever sells the best in the market should be called high value even to me.

Siukslinis_acc · 2025-05-08T18:02:27+00:00

No clue. I don't sort people into high value and low value.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2025-05-08T20:26:38+00:00

a man whose head would look nice in a trophy room for high value men

Different_Cress7369 · 2025-05-09T10:41:57+00:00

A high value man is one with integrity. Everything else is window dressing.

RecognitionSoft9973 · 2025-05-09T22:05:14+00:00

He genuinely respects women and is always kind (high emotional intelligence), but not a pushover. AKA he's genuine. If he's genuine, it means he's constantly working on himself, in big or little ways. I wouldn't worry about the other stuff you listed because it'd all be there in the end.

I have seen and interacted with men on reddit in FA and adjacent subs who I believe are HVM, but they can't recognize these qualities in themselves. I'm not the best with words so I'm not good at communicating these things to them, and we end up in one massive circlejerk affirming positivity at each other lol.

Dapper-Suggestion462 · 2025-05-08T19:42:28+00:00

I dont think any such man exists for me

I am tall, intelligent,slim and sufficient enough

I just want world peace!

uglysaladisugly · 2025-05-08T20:36:47+00:00

Anyone who is referring to themselve or to any other human being as high or low value is someone I want to stay as far away as possible. I would really really prefer not to share a group with them.

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