Anyone else think about "switching teams"?

Shawn008 · 2024-08-19T04:00:34+00:00

If your even thinking about it and have the idea in mind that it could be “fun” then you are absolutely 100% gay or at least bisexual. And nothing wrong with that. It’s not for me though. The physical aspect of doing anything with a guy just feels gross af to me. Not judging those who are into guys. The whole process of sex and even a relationship probably comes with so much less bullshit than a heterosexual couple I imagine… although I could be wrong.

Im a hobbyist bodybuilder. While I get a lot of interest from women, I get 3x the compliments from guys, usually not sexual remarks or even from guys that are gay. It does feel good to get complimented. But when a guy does make a sexual comment or hit on me, it’s extremely uncomfortable for me. Gay guys are also the most pushy type that seem to not want to give up. Women aren’t really that pushy for sex and dates from me tbh. But 9/10 of them admit I intimidate them.

Idk. I say do what you want. Do what makes you happy. I wouldn’t bother asking others cause they aren’t you and they aren’t living your life.

BandicootGeneral317 · 2024-08-18T20:43:12+00:00

Monkeypox

whoisgodiam · 2024-08-18T20:25:46+00:00

Sounds GAY

mr21vp · 2024-08-18T15:46:04+00:00

Seems like you've already made up your mind which is fine and no judgement from me. Just keep your sex life private like we used to in the past.

Joocewayne · 2024-08-18T14:45:55+00:00

The overwhelming posts say just go for it so my opinion might be unpopular, but I disagree.

I feel like resigning yourself to try this because the divorce has left you attention starved, desperate for connection and in need of an ego boost… it seems like a cheap, destructive route. It is detrimental to your manhood.

I know a man who confessed to me he tried it after a horrible breakup, at a point where he was despondent and had no self esteem. He said it was fun getting attention until he had a dick in his mouth and he threw up and had to leave. The guy had tears welling up when he told me this. YMMV.

This guy was also extremely codependent, as many men are after they go through divorce. Getting attention from men is easier, but it’s a bandaid that doesn’t address the real healing.

Many recommend not going out immediately and banging every easy slut you can manage to get over it, because it isn’t going to fix anything. You do you, but it will change the entire trajectory of who you are as a man and how you see yourself.

everybodylovesrando · 2024-08-18T11:56:32+00:00

Go on a date with a guy. Explain you’re interested in keeping it casual/physical, and newly bicurious. Have fun!

Murky_Ranger23 · 2024-08-18T10:31:30+00:00

That’s a no from me……better the devil I know.

TheCommentator- · 2024-08-18T07:37:05+00:00

Ahhh Negative, Big negative

dukeofthefoothills1 · 2024-08-18T07:08:05+00:00

Can’t relate; that’d be a no for me.

Jake_Barnes_ · 2024-08-18T06:20:03+00:00

Damn, talk about down and out. Sad days in this sub.

Brief_Wonderer · 2024-08-18T05:46:48+00:00

It’s all fun and games until you get pegged and it’s not what you expect.

steelgripphoenix · 2024-08-18T05:36:43+00:00

Pause.

Tricky-Guard-8073 · 2024-08-18T04:33:40+00:00

Try it out. Your new team will be better at handling their own equipment

beezo123 · 2024-08-18T04:24:02+00:00

Some guys just want to feel wanted...

SignificantExample41 · 2024-08-18T02:58:51+00:00

even tho this is my regular account, posts and all, i have no problem saying i identify as bi.

i was married for 20 years, had a great sex life right up until the end even tho shes now decided she’s a lesbian. and don’t let the great sex fool you - she was an absolute nightmare of a human.

you can have sex with a guy once to experiment and not be bi. twice , you’re bi.

i could never be in a relationship with a man but trust me - they are MUCH easier. and I basically only sleep with guys in their 20s that are extremely hot. like the kind you ALL know you see in porn and are like …that dudes hot…

i say that not to brag, i say that because not all men are created equal. and smooth younger guys, who are very much into older “straight” guys, are much more like being with a woman. any body hair and i’m out basically.

and you can decide just how much you want to reciprocate. you don’t have to suck d - you can have yours sucked. and yes, they do it better. you don’t have to let a dude f you, but you can have a very …tightly… pleasurable experience doing it to them.

as everyone seems to be saying - “it’s 2024”. hop on grindr and be one of the 90% of people on there who are married and on the “dl” and also into dudes sometimes.

MR-Ozmidnight · 2024-08-18T02:56:13+00:00

I think I would at least give it a go, as my Ex did a number on me

RealDamage007 · 2024-08-18T02:47:03+00:00

Unsure how this is an ego boost. Definitely an ego boost if attractive women hit on me. I don’t even feel good when unattractive women hit on me lol. But at least they’re women. Let alone men? What? Fam you might have wasted huge years of your life..

Millhouse201 · 2024-08-18T01:22:49+00:00

I’d happily remarry any of my best friends … if they wanted a blowie I’m sure enough alcohol and sweet talk could make it happen ;) just kidding but maybe not who knows midlife crisis says let’s just keep whatever happens as that’s okay

Betteroffalone1111 · 2024-08-18T00:53:46+00:00

I was talking to my buddy that I’m letting rent the bottom of my basement out while he saves money for a house. We only get married for the tax benefits and that’s it. We can have gfs or fwb split on the mortgage and rotate on cooking or ordering out, he cleans his basement and I clean the top floor. Sounds like a dream come true lol

Jojothereader · 2024-08-18T00:43:44+00:00

They always seem to be happy and have money.

Wise_Serve_3140 · 2024-08-18T00:09:15+00:00

Whatever makes you happy give it a try and see, I'm thinking more like once this divorce is finalized I'm gonna try different ethnicities of women only dated Hispanic and white women in my life

Emotional_Lettuce251 · 2024-08-17T23:46:40+00:00

Before I was married, my male friends and I would go this "gay" club. It was 2 levels and had, I believe, 4 different dance floors (with different music). A decent amount of heterosexuals would go to this club. Depending on the dance floor, some were more "gay" than others, if that makes sense.

I have never kissed a man or anything else. That being said, I sometimes would go on the dance floor which seemed to be predominately gay males dancing. I'd dance with them. Some over the clothes touching. A little grinding. It was fun in its own weird way. Anyway, point of the story is that I'm sure I could've went home with dudes many times, but I have zero interest in another man's dick. Just get out there and be social.

UknownSk8er · 2024-08-17T23:34:32+00:00

“If it wasn’t for the sex, I’d be gay”

stupididiot78 · 2024-08-17T23:30:55+00:00

You navigate it by saying yes the next time a guy hits on you. Not all relationships have to be long romantic ones. I wouldn't think a night of casual sex with a male to be that much of a logistical hurdle than it would be with a woman.

As for myself, being gay or even bi sounds like it would be a lot easier but just doesn't do anything for me, unfortunately.

marsfifth · 2024-08-17T23:29:44+00:00

I got some news for you brother..

jmus3drum5 · 2024-08-17T23:24:23+00:00

Nah. I've been hit on by guys for years but it's not ever appealed to me. Women are my jam. Fine be me for anybody that goes that route, just not for me.

justsomedude1111 · 2024-08-17T23:03:11+00:00

NOPE

Agreeable_Safety3255 · 2024-08-17T23:01:59+00:00

Not my thing, only women for me. But if you want to fuck guys go for it, it's your body and life. But I don't know if you would still be able to call your straight, bisexual sure.

ramboton · 2024-08-17T22:59:15+00:00

I considered telling her I was gay and that is why I wanted a divorce (I am not) I figured she would run and stay away from me if I did that........but I didn't do it.

Several-Eagle4141 · 2024-08-17T22:51:44+00:00

Married and curious men are often popular on a cruise ship

First-Bid8895 · 2024-08-17T22:39:26+00:00

A mouth is a mouth. And my grandma always said for every girl that turns you down there are 3 guys that will eat onion rings off your dick. So go bang some dudes and please never tell us about it.

Techdude_Advanced · 2024-08-17T22:35:57+00:00

A few years back on another forum, there was this dude that used to f**k ladyboys and feminine guys, he later married a woman. I never really understood it and never really got around to asking him what the fascination was. He was also living in Thailand back then so that could explain it.

Complicatedlogic · 2024-08-17T22:27:49+00:00

Sounds like you want to try it. As long as it’s something you want to experience, be safe and enjoy the ride (no pun intended). At this point in life, who cares anyways, if you enjoy it then awesome. If you don’t, well at least now you know.

electromattic · 2024-08-17T22:02:57+00:00

Go for it, OP. I don't know how old you are or where you grew up, but chances are that you may have consciously or subconsciously repressed your bi side for years out of a societal expectation for heterosexuality.

I think that often marriage forces us to create a self-identity as being 100% straight and completely repress any bi feelings and so it makes sense that following divorce these feeling will pop up to say "hi I'm back!"

All good though. It's 2024 and there is a lot more bi-visibility today than there has ever been in history (except for possibly ancient Greece).

You could look up the term hetero-romantic bisexual to see if it applies to you. That means that you think about romantic stuff (dates, love, relationships) with the opposite sex, but are able to feel sexual arousal for both.

DaveTheDrummer802 · 2024-08-17T22:02:15+00:00

While I'm having as much sex with my wife as I am with a gay man (none), I still cannot go that route.

l3landgaunt · 2024-08-17T21:27:48+00:00

I get the ego boost but have decided I need to save myself for prison

Decon_SaintJohn · 2024-08-17T21:16:30+00:00

To each their own. Personally speaking, my strong inclination towards and love of pussy is much too strong to ever go the other way. This is a curse and a gift depending how you view it. It was definitely a curse with my ex.

Low_Fun_1590 · 2024-08-17T21:00:25+00:00

That's the most unappealing thing in the universe for me. But, if it's appealing for you...that said, I think it's much easier to pick up guys that gals. Men are always ready to go and if that's the pool you're fishing in there are probably endless opportunities.

No-Marsupial1823 · 2024-08-17T20:55:39+00:00

No way. Even though I cant stand most women’s mindset and I hate the way they do things I still love their bodies. I can’t see myself having sex with a man. Very hard pass!!!!

hairy_russian · 2024-08-17T20:53:53+00:00

I see a lot of advantages to a gay marriage, I’m 100% probably rose glasses if this.

With a guy your size you could cut your clothes spending to half at least.

If you aren’t taking care of each other’s morning wood; you are doing gay wrong.

https://youtu.be/f8AMqWGRjcE?si=vXUZS5jiIdbampoY

plangelier · 2024-08-17T20:42:52+00:00

I immediately thought of this from Ron White https://youtu.be/N0bEvfEXGso?si=48mO1hfnavgyu_3r

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2024-08-17T20:42:00+00:00

I’d be gay if it weren’t for the sex part - think “I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry”

frogmicky · 2024-08-17T20:34:38+00:00

I have a suspicion that my stbxw switched teams.

Own_Saucer1993 · 2024-08-17T20:32:00+00:00

If you feel strongly about it - safely explore it.

I have a gay cousin that recently moved to my city and I took him out to our cities gay community for a night out. I was the designated driver and on our way home he was drunk and complaining that I was getting hit on more than him lol

I learned the phrase “I’m an ally” as a nice way to say that I’m swinging for the other team.

All this to say I get the ego boost but it’s also just dudes being dudes. We’ll stick our dicks in anything including crazy as we all know. I never had the thought of switching teams so it sounds like this is more than just getting attention.

The cool thing about the gay community is they’re all welcoming and understanding. If you were to just explain your curiosity you’d easily find people to help navigate these feelings with you.

Bretweir_jerky · 2024-08-17T20:28:53+00:00

No. Not ever. Not even once. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. If you feel like it could be fun, I think you have your answer.

UglyDude1987 · 2024-08-17T20:25:55+00:00

If you think it can be fun physically I would say you are gay-bi. You do you though.

Equal-Morning9480 · 2024-08-17T20:21:57+00:00

I get a lot of attention gay men when I’m around them. Sometimes I think my life would be easier if I could play for the other team… But I can’t, men are gross, in the physical sense… And in that way I have no idea what women see in us

I am confused about what anybody sees in men physically, I am just as confused about gay men as I am about straight women as far as attraction goes

SaltyWarm · 2024-08-17T20:18:13+00:00

I'd say if you are even interested in anything like that, go for it bro.

MisterPhinster · 2024-08-17T20:17:53+00:00

I am not coming from experience, but just do what you want, dude. It's 2024. If your happy that's all that matters.

Title	Anyone else think about "switching teams"?
Author	Zealousideal-Let1344
Upvotes	0
Comments	74
Date	August 17, 2024 8:06 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1euqp14/anyone_else_think_about_switching_teams/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anyone-else-think-about-switching-teams.1527566 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527566

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