~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
aclick1999
[–]jasdavis93398 points399 points400 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
This! I also hate when women say “thanks for putting up with me” on anniversary posts. Then seeing them cooking and cleaning all week on Instagram.
Girl, you are putting up with them!
[–]realityhofoshoFDS Newbie76 points77 points78 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Exactly what Shannann Watts said. Word for word.
[–]helena939392FDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just watched this yesterday on Netflix and thought exactly the same. Also gave me shivers.
[–]RojavaLoverFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's asserting the opposite to get a false sense of power when they're feeling powerless, "I'm the one who doesn't do as much, I'm the one who gets away with everything" when we all know it ain't true...
[–]fim_de_semanaFDS Apprentice896 points897 points898 points 5 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link
I would never marry a guy who isn’t as eager to marry me as I am to marry him.
[–]aclick1999FDS Newbie[S] 655 points656 points657 points 5 years ago* (27 children) | Copy Link
I think this is probably a case of men downplaying the fact their wife is far out of their league. 'Negging-lite' if you will. Because they're eager to keep her by putting her down. I broke up with a guy who made a joke about how lucky I was to have him in front of his lv friends. I'm not here for that.
UPDATE: Ladies, thank you for the rewards! Seriously you gals are wonderful! But I am just doing the good lord's (ladies) work and sharing Erica Spera's clever words. Save your rewards for true leveling up content posts. 🙏
[–]SirCrowDevoidOfCornFDS Newbie215 points216 points217 points 5 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
Good for you! Did you break up with him then and there, or did you wait a while first?
My ex-bf talked down to me and went through my phone once in front of his friends and I wish I could go back to that day and just leave him right there. I didn't even say "really, you're treating me like this in front of your friends to show off?" I wish I'd said that and then "Boy, bye"
[–]aclick1999FDS Newbie[S] 439 points440 points441 points 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
When I was younger I also struggled with accepting put down jokes, and often rationalised them too. So I know it can feel like an 'overreaction' to dump him. But if it hurts your feelings, it's never an overreaction.
I had only been seeing this guy 4 months, so after he cracked the joke I clarified with a 'really?" Giving him the opportunity to say "Of course not! Obviously I'm the one who's lucky to have you!" He didn't, but instead said something along the lines of 'Well aren't you?" So I said goodnight to them all and that I was going to find someone who felt lucky to have me. He didn't realise I'd left him for another week after that and kept calling. Audacity.
[–]pinkfleurhappinessFDS Newbie103 points104 points105 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
👑
[–]LeeBees1105FDS Newbie199 points200 points201 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LOL he didn't even realized he got dumped. You ditched a narcissist and an idiot. Good for you!
[–]throwmefaraway85FDS Newbie71 points72 points73 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are a QUEEN, I love you lol
[–]gothoneybonesFDS Newbie55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Omg you are a total badass!
[–]aclick1999FDS Newbie[S] 192 points193 points194 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I'm a badass in progress! But I'll tell you ladies, once you truly subscribe to fds principles and start treating the first 6 months of any relationship as a conservative/logical/aware interview process, then it's super easy to bounce when your standards are not met. Men still don't understand that female kindness, affection, and care are not synonymous with devotion. I'll scratch your head babe and make you an omelette for breakfast, but if you even LOOK at me funny by lunchtime...out the window you go. NEVER let them get complacent.
[–]waddameloneFDS Apprentice42 points43 points44 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Everything you’re saying is a big fat OKAY SIS!!!!!! This is what I love to see. They’re not playing is anymore. We’re DONE.
[–]SirCrowDevoidOfCornFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I love your outlook. I could make several affirmations out of your post.
[–]bklyn4everFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sweetly savage. I stan.
[–]RegularStatus5FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Big Queen energy. I hope I have the courage to do the same if this happens
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Queen!
[–]smilodon91Throwaway Account34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
BTW, this belittling-in-front-of-friends behavior doesn't go away. My last BF was 60 when he called me names in front of his 26-yr-old son. I dumped him right there in the car when he said it... in front of his son.
[–]buzzkillyallFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I put up with that shit for 10 years, so you did better than some of us. NEVER again.
Several different people, men and women, have told me that my ex is the only person they have ever considered hitting (or actually DID hit, one dude broke a bottle on his face). He will probably get himself killed with that "humor" someday. Right now, I'd like to dance on his grave, but I'm working every day to achieve disinterest, instead of loathing. I know it's healthier for me.
[–]moonchild2998FDS Newbie192 points193 points194 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
My ex literally said to me “100 years from now, the only things you’ll be known for it dating me.” Men really think they’re hot shit. This was rich coming from a 30 YO man with a masters only working part time with zero ambition whatsoever living with two rommmates he was scared I was going to leave him for. I can’t wait until I publish my book and drop that shit on him like an A-Bomb
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]smilodon91Throwaway Account25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
To men, and I mean nearly all of them... males are people. Women are... something other but definitely less than.
[–]SandyWaters0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
NPC? I'm still learning the lingo around here
[–]kacang_polong1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Non-playable characters, as in the side characters in video games
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How do you mean they treated you like an NPC? What were their messages?
[–]snooklepookle_FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
YESSS!!! 👏 I can hear r/relationships saying you're overreacting to a "harmless joke" and accusing you of being insecure now 🙄
Just walk away from shit like that, like why wouldn't I find a guy who WOULDN'T put me down?
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Holy shit thats awesome lol
[–]favoritesoundFDS Newbie328 points329 points330 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
"7 years ago I dropped my standards and settled for this man. Lack of self respect and settling for mediocrity sure is funny and endearing! Happy 7th anniversary, babe!"
[–]anotherdamnloserFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh I would love that
[–]kiwielchihuahuaFDS Newbie221 points222 points223 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Have you ever hear a lesbian talk about her wife? they ALWAYS sound so in love, like is the first month...if i'm not getting something like that...every time my husban talk about me..i not marrying him.
[–]ApprehensiveCorgi161Throwaway Account14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're so right! My friend is in a LTR with her partner (they're lesbians) and they are hands down the best couple I know! They're so supportive of each other and so sweet
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (28 children) | Copy Link
[–]TropicalPrairieFDS Newbie152 points153 points154 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I also hate how it is not just men talking about this but selling products like this ... I was shopping (pre-COVID) and recall seeing a wedding cake topper that was a woman dragging a man, as he tried to escape. Who the f buys that shit? But someone probably thinks it's "funny" or cute. It's garbage.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]buzzkillyallFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For real. Set her free if you hate her so much. Pathetic.
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie92 points93 points94 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
The sad thing is literally no woman has ever done that but men have actually kidnapped women to make them their bride!
[–]HornetKickFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
kidnapped
This!! Is scary as shit. I've seen quite a bit of shows about this and how it almost cost the woman her life. I cannot understand how a man believes he is entitled to just grab a woman off the street and force her to be his sex bunny. Some of them end of committing suicide instead of going to jail, but many seem really surprised to be doing jail time. WTF kind of world do we live in?
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
There is literally a name for it it’s called bridenapping got a whole Wikipedia page and everything. It literally makes me so angry that “the woman dragging the man down the aisle” is a trope considering that bridenapping is an actual thing whereas no woman is kidnapping any man to make him her husband. 😑
[–]foxylady45567FDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Classic projection by men.
They are pros at it, because they are able to position themselves as the neutral, balenced voice, and women as 'annoyingly irrational'.
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I really think projection is men’s #1 issue
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's a reversal, as the rad fems say.
Men invented marriage. They drew up the contracts and laws themselves.
[–]-badmadAMFDS Apprentice136 points137 points138 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
For real! They have to act as if their women need and want them more than the other way around, as if they would loose something by being in a relationship with their women (but ya know, she wanted him so bad)... it is just a dominance game for them, putting someone down so they can feel good about themselves. Very common for a lot of males tbh.
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
putting someone down so they can feel good about themselves.
This is literally what most men truly think it is to be a masculine man. If you said so in so many words to their face theyd deny and reject it but if you asked them using hypotheticals or by observing their actions, that's what theu do (put others down) and why they do it (bc it makes them feel "manly").
Its honestly really kinda sad because it points to a mass lack of self confidence in a lot of men and a mass insecurity. Id feel bad for them if those who were assholes/sexist toward others as a result werent assholes/sexist. I find it very hard to feel bad for people who are bullies regardless of their motives.
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Apprentice260 points261 points262 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Men invented marriage and reap the benefits and they still complain about it.
[–]WildTendernessFDS Newbie73 points74 points75 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn. That's actually wild to think about.
[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie33 points34 points35 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bang on. Hating your wife is not a personality, Keith
[–]LeeBees1105FDS Newbie67 points68 points69 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I don't understand either. If you dislike this woman so much, why are you with her?
Maybe it's cus they no one else would want them. I know I don't want some divorcee. No ma'am.
[–]anotherdamnloserFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Because they might have to actually get off their ass to do something, clean up after themselves or wash their ass crack so they can get another date. God forbid they make any effort in life.
[–]Time_BarracudaFDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
As a divorcee, I'm trying hard not to take offense at this...
[–]havingababypenguinFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Divorced women do not equal divorced men.
[–]RavenWudgieRose11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Usually, women initiates the divorce first and has a great reason for it; while you always have to assume the worst for why a man is divorced, and are typically dead-beat dads 🤷🏻♀️
Totally not the same.
[–]asteria2002FDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This.
[–]throwmefaraway85FDS Newbie341 points342 points343 points 5 years ago (29 children) | Copy Link
Married men live longer and have better health outcomes than non-married men. Married women are the opposite, having worse health and dying sooner than single woman. They need us so much more than we need them.
Any time a man jokes about getting tied down or losing his freedom makes me cringe so bloody hard. It's pathetic and such a joke lol
[–]kmblueFDS Newbie147 points148 points149 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They only say that single people are more likely to die sooner because of loneliness and obesity because the category includes single men. Take men out and the statistics look so much better.
[–]jeanneeebeanneeeFDS Apprentice86 points87 points88 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. Anecdotally, the times in my life when my weight has gone up have been when I was in bad relationships. I look and feel my best when single.
[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Maybe they should speak on the negative heath outcomes resulting from being in an abusive relationship
[–]CB4lifeFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. I’m sure the statistics get skewed when you look at gender, or compare deaths from a woman living on her own compared to the high number of deaths of women who have been murdered by partners.
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie103 points104 points105 points 5 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
Agree totally. I'm only in my early twenties but I've seen enough to think "Actually maybe having a kid through a sperm donor in 10 years and raising the baby myself." sounds a lot nicer than being married to someone who'd see marriage as getting tied down.
[–]ydoiexistlolidkFDS Newbie115 points116 points117 points 5 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
It's easier to be a single mum of a baby than a single mum of a baby and a man child.
[–]JiltedGroupieFDS Newbie69 points70 points71 points 5 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
Yes especially if you are planning ahead to be a single mum! Women who think they have partners but when the baby comes the husband transforms into a shitting infant himself and/or just up and leaves... they’re getting the rug pulled out from under them. The planned donor single mother life is totally planned and prepared for. Just imagine what a more healthy and stable environment that is for a child.
[–]sailorstrongFDS Newbie75 points76 points77 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
My sister's partner just announced that "he's no longer in love with her". They have an 18 month old baby. They had agreed and planned to move to the west coast. She found a great job and moved just before covid. He has barely applied for any jobs (she does it for him) and is still living out east with his mums. He has turned into a manchild (more accurately, the manchild tendencies have gotten out of control)
He is abandoning his child to enjoy the single life. Piece of fucking shit. Debatable currently if there's someone else. But of course being separated from your girlfriend (note the no ring ladies!) For 6 months during a pandemic is hard on a relationship. Step up, move here and give it a solid go man.
Well, I guess I'm changing my life plans to move to be closer to her so that kid gets the best chance she can at growing well, and to help my sister's sanity. It takes a village, and I'm her best bet to build that. Thanks fucker!
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She's lucky to have a sister like you!
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Mistake number one having a baby with somebody who’s not your husband I realize that a husband can turn into a man child as well but the reality is when a man refuses to marry you he’s kind of telling you what he thinks about you. Marriage was made to benefit men so if they don’t want to marry you they literally just don’t value you. Theres no other explanation in my book. So many women get “blindsided” in situations like this but from the outside looking in the red flags are all there you just have to learn to recognize them and here is the perfect place to learn about them. As women we can’t afford to overlook these red flags especially if we want to have kids it’s not fair to them or us
[–]sailorstrongFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Totally agree. He was a bearably ok guy. Nice, decent, on track to a decent career. They seemed happy together.
Let her be a warning to all of you. A ring before he moves in or before you even start talking about babies.
[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I hope your sister finds an incredible career and if she desires, a husband who worships the ground she walks on and her loser ex can just twist in his own uselessness. Actually, that's my hope for every LVM.
[–]sailorstrongFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
After her first horrific partner (navy, and ended up having -- surprise! -- a mistress on the other coast he knocked up) she was smart, and has a great career. We live in a HCOL area, but she will be fine.
Her heart, I'm not so sure about.
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I couldn't care less if I get looked at as damaged goods for wanting to be a donor single mother. I'd rather have my kids grow up happy than be in an unstable environment whilst keeping up appearances.
[+]YveisGreyFDS Newbie-6 points-5 points-4 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I don’t know if having a donor child is really going to be that great for the child for the most part kids don’t deal so well with not knowing who their parents are and if you have a kid via donor that’s guaranteed. This is pretty well known even with adopted kids and the like. I’m not saying it’s the worst possible situation in the world but it’s definitely not ideal and I don’t think there’s any reason why women should be under the impression that they can’t meet a decent man to have a family with it’s all about having high standards and knowing how to value yourself, and having discernment. Its very possible to meet good men. Also having a donor kid just means I’m raising some man’s kid without him doing anything so I don’t really see how it’s so much better or some power move a man should be investing in his kids. It’s still based on a “women have to do it all” type of mentality. I’m not about to let men off the hook by doing something like that I would literally rather have a kid with my boyfriend and sue him for child support then get some random’s sperm.
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I see what point you're making but I've decided if it does go down that route I'd want my kids to have access to the donor once they turn 18 and I wouldn't spring something like that on them out of the blue.
Valuing yourself and having good standards is all well and good but HVM are still a rarity and from what I've seen on this sub dating in your 30s is a nightmare.
It's fine if you'd rather sue your ex for child support but I'd rather not put myself through something as emotionally taxing and expensive as that. Being a donor single parent is something I'm not going to fully rule out but atm it's all fairly hypothetical. Who knows how I'll feel in a few years time.
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie-1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hmm idk at that point might as well sleep with one of these looney tunes rich dudes and have baby for a couple Gs a month. Being a totally single mom is no walk in the park either I know a woman who did this. Had a baby by herself completely in her 40s she has become totally reliant on her parents and she complains a lot about it. And her parents are too old for this mom has a broken hip! Of course she loves the baby but its a bit more than she anticipated I think. Men don’t come by themselves they also have families attached to them. Even if you have to get divorced or something you’ll have a lot more hands with the ex and his family than by yourself. Also I don’t know how the kid will feel about never knowing his dad at all, he’s a boy too. Lastly I cannot get down with facilitating men just not taking care of their kids at all. Its not really a power move to resort to sperm donation it’s waving the white flag. If push came to shove maybe I would adopt you know to save a child already in need.
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can see why. There are far too many children who don't know their father because he bailed. Or the ones that dip in and out stirring up crap.
With a doner or adoption, the child is wanted. No oops with some jerk. The woman is likely to be better educated and better employed.
She has more time and money for the child, when she doesn't have the work of dealing with a man child. Doesn't have to clean up after him, deal with moods and sulking, him always wanting to be central, the house should revolve around him and his job, nobody pestering for sex when your exhausted.
I see it as a good thing for women.
[–]pangolinplatypusFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
"Also having a donor kid just means I’m raising some man’s kid without him doing anything so I don’t really see how it’s so much better or some power move"
Yeah, agree. I see that a lot on here and I'm not sure why it's such a common thread? Donor sperm? Why? It is a "I'll show them!" sort of thing...? Take THAT, Patriarchy! I'm raising someone else's kids while they count the money they made donating sperm and thinking they're king shit.
How do you know what kind of person this was aside from a profile that HE filled in? Lots of very powerful career dudes are complete assholes (as is constantly referenced on this site) and I'm sure they think their sperm is made of gold, lol. Lots of kids who are already here need mentors or foster families. As someone who does volunteer with after school programs when there's not a plague, it's seriously rewarding.
[–]buzzkillyallFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I think it comes from a place of 1) wanting your own child and 2) being acutely aware of how horrible and dangerous the WRONG man can be.
I've never had a strong desire to be a mother, but I have seen how powerful it is in some women. I understand why they would choose the donor route. It could literally be a life-or-death decision, if you accept the wrong man to father your child.
[–]pangolinplatypusFDS Newbie-1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I guess you're right on that one. I don't have any need to have bio kids, either. So choosing donor sperm is very confusing if you don't have that drive to physically procreate in order have kids that you'll have less support with. But as you said (and is echoed continually on this sub)... the wrong man is definitely worse than none at all.
Pregnancy is no joke, either. There is always the risk in bringing that child into the world solo that you'll be seriously injured or die, particularly in countries that don't give a shit about women's health or treatment during pregnancy or birth. Hopefully all the ladies here who are doing so have a super awesome support network, excellent medical care, and the financial means to do as they wish with their own bodies. But it does kind of seem like that crappy libfem message of "Women Must Do It All/Have It All To Be Complete" is still pounded into our heads on the regular.
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I disagree when you say that it's a Libfem message being pounded in our heads regarding being a donor single mother. It's not just a spur of a moment decision, it's something that women think about for years and don't normally do until their 30s, if we're going by stats.
Also I'm not sure if you mean to come off as it but saying choosing donor sperm is confusing comes off as a bit condescending.
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree. I won't rule out meeting the One and settling down with them (if that kind of person for me exists) but my experiences have put me off dating totally. I've told myself if I'm single and childless by my mid 30s I'll have a baby by myself and hopefully I'd be in a good enough place career wise to do something like that if it comes to it.
[–]I_HATE_ECHO_CHAMBERSFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i keep thinking about this too! Honestly we women don’t realise how much power and control we have over our reproduction and the way we can reproduce. I always think being a single mother and choosing a good candidate with good genes through a sperm donor is more and more viable with each passing day. I remember insecure men whining at me because “they can’t choose to have babies even if they want one”. Womb envy is real. Pretty sure with sperm donors we can choose what sex the baby can be too LMAO let’s wipe out the males ladies.
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree! I am lonely but I have my friends to keep my happy. No man stresses me out and my house is kept how I want it.
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well I do agree that men reap more benefits from being married then women do usually but I don’t think it’s true that single women live longer well they can but I think it’s mainly if they don’t have any children I am pretty sure single moms actually are more likely to have health issues and die younger than married moms. I think that makes sense because it’s probably a bit more stressful to be a single mom than to be married (all things being equal of course because sometimes husbands will be stressing you out). I also think it’s better to be divorced with kids then to never have been married with kids only because the never married group will include a lot more women who receive no help at all from the father whereas with divorce the father and his extended family usually are a lot more involved with the kids. So basically if you want kids marriage is the way to go even if you get divorced later on and if you don’t want kids there’s really no point in getting married as a woman especially if you have a lot of money/wealth.
[–]IsabellaGalavantFDS Newbie145 points146 points147 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
This was my attitude (still is!) when I got married. I refused to have any sort of implications that I was forcing my husband to marry me. I didn't do one of those "funny" cake toppers of the bride dragging the groom to the altar (even though it was suggested!), no pictures of his "boys" doing dumb shit like shaking their heads at him or trying to jokingly stop the wedding, none of that bs. I didn't force him to propose, I didn't force him to marry me, and I resent the implication, even if it's supposed to be "funny".
[–][deleted] 116 points117 points118 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I broke off my engagement with my ex after he told me “I forced him” to propose. Bull fucking shit, he did it willingly and if I did “force him” he’s got a spine made of jelly. All I did was tell him we couldn’t live together anymore because I didn’t want to live in sin anymore.
[–]anotherdamnloserFDS Newbie38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When I got married my mother in law insisted on one of those photos where I held up the marriage license behind his back and did a sneaky thumbs up. I did, but then destroyed the photo. This was pre-smart phone so yeah that photo does not exist anywhere. I have always hated that idea and it’s ridiculous. Whoever said it was boomer humor is right on. I’m so glad this group exists to change ideas and norms.
[–]Amy3e13FDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Suggesting a cake topper like this to you was so tactless. The audacity!
[–]letsberealforamomentRuthless Strategist62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
There are a few reasons for this negative sense of humor.
[–]tinysilverstarFDS Newbie40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I cannot stand the word "simp" God forbid a man is nice to a woman for any reason.
[–]what-are-potatoesFDS Newbie93 points94 points95 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I feel like this sub and /r/arethestraightsok have a lot of overlap
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie73 points74 points75 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
There was a thread not too long ago somewhere asking lesbians what they were the most shocked at with straight relationships and the most rated one was something like "Dealing with bad sex and relationships where you're worried communication will offend them"
Edit- I even see it with some of my gay friends when they get told by straight people what their relationships are like.
[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great sub.
[–]fermata102FDS Newbie45 points46 points47 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I dated a guy once who thought these types of jokes were hilariously endearing.
He is almost 41 and has never had a real relationship.
[–]hakunnamatatamfsFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No wonders why
[–]rysedgFDS Newbie44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
My overweight, bald, redheaded ex-husband would respond “I said No!” with a wink and a snicker whenever people asked why our children were born 11 months apart. Wrong. The correct answer was because he had sex with me in my sleep while I was absolutely exhausted from a 2-month old I was breastfeeding multiple times nightly. I am much better-looking than him [- I had deluded myself into believing a LVM would be so grateful to have me that he would never treat me poorly ] and he thought it was ‘hilarious’ to make people think I’d been so desperate for his tiny little pee-pee that I’d been forcing myself on him before we were cleared to have sex post-delivery. Made me furious every time he said it
[–]aclick1999FDS Newbie[S] 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg. I'm so sorry you had to live through that. I hope you and your children are doing better these days!
[–]BetterToBeLonelyFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is disgusting. Glad he's an ex.
[–]deathbecomesme123456FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That belongs in r/iamatotalpieceofshit and also he’s a rapist
[–]Solaresa36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The ball and chain/"haha I hate my wife" trope is so tired and old. It's been the standard forever and is still seen in every single sitcom ever for some reason. Nope, we know the stats now and we know that marriage and long term hetero relationships benefit men far more than women on average. Negging on a goddamn cultural level to try and keep women down.
Embarrassing, honestly. Get new material.
[–]pineappleshampooPickmeisha™️29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is a thing?
[–]sharpbehindFDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh, how I wish it wasn't. A girl I worked with 13!! years ago got married early last year. Keep in mind, this lady was with him before I ever knew her. I saw the pictures of the cake with the"ball and chain" topper myself. I felt bad for her and thought it was a mean thing to do, embarrassing and not a very funny joke, especially since she was the butt of it. It's what happens to forever girlfriends all to much.
[–]pineappleshampooPickmeisha™️6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
God that is horrific. Imagine being willing to humiliate and degrade yourself in front of guests at your own damn wedding. Her self esteem is in the core of the earth, I actually feel so sorry for her.
[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
At this point they should consider it an honor and a privilege that we are still willing to provide them with our time, effort, companionship and so many other things we give freely while oftentimes our self worth sits on the back burner, unattended to.
[–]CounterCharacter7663Throwaway Account63 points64 points65 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I would first move the scissors out of spite first.
[–]VillanellohFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao
[–]sammytheforsakenFDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't get why men make these awful comments about marriage and call them "jokes". My uncle is married and posted an image with a quote in the group chat of his daughter who was about to marry her fiance. The image read: Son: "daddy, why are all the cars over there blowing their horns?" Dad: "because people are getting married there." Son: "but isn't blowing a horn actually a warning?" Dad: "exactly, my boy, exactly."
And I was just shocked. My cousins closest friends had made that group chat to discuss informations about my cousins wedding and he just posts this ridiculous image. I texted back, that based on that, he didn't sound happy in his marriage at all. His wife was furious at me for commenting that. What is wrong with people.
[–]JaneIsaPainFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yet men ask women to marry them?
Am I missing something?
[–]anotherdamnloserFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So true LOL
[–]somegenerichandleFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
One of my male friends from highschool made a post on his anniversary about how his wife has only beat him up a couple times. I politely DMed him and told him i didn't think domestic violence should ever be a joke. He did change the message a bit.
[–]Allaboutb1FDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve seen men that were eager to get married. Men from traditional backgrounds are often under a ton of pressure from their family to get married and produce grandchildren. These men know that once they get married, they’re taken care of for life. My friend’s husband, who is from a traditional background, pushed for marriage and then a baby. I believe this was for control. He was passive-aggressive and would go into ‘helpless’ mode, where she had to literally take care of him like a child. He did this around me multiple times, presumably because he saw me as a threat. She was an independent woman, career-minded (she earned more than him), and she loved to travel by herself to exotic destinations. I just think of him as a leech draining the life out of her...
[–]tasdronFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Greg still can’t find the scissors. She left him three years ago and he’s been walking around with the tags still on new his clothes
[–]PersonalBuy0Pickmeisha™️1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yep, letting them get comfortable, kool girl style, is the gateway to abuse.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]jasdavis93398 points399 points400 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]realityhofoshoFDS Newbie76 points77 points78 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]helena939392FDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RojavaLoverFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fim_de_semanaFDS Apprentice896 points897 points898 points (28 children) | Copy Link
[–]aclick1999FDS Newbie[S] 655 points656 points657 points (27 children) | Copy Link
[–]SirCrowDevoidOfCornFDS Newbie215 points216 points217 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]aclick1999FDS Newbie[S] 439 points440 points441 points
(12 children) | Copy Link
[–]pinkfleurhappinessFDS Newbie103 points104 points105 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LeeBees1105FDS Newbie199 points200 points201 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwmefaraway85FDS Newbie71 points72 points73 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gothoneybonesFDS Newbie55 points56 points57 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]aclick1999FDS Newbie[S] 192 points193 points194 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]waddameloneFDS Apprentice42 points43 points44 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SirCrowDevoidOfCornFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bklyn4everFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RegularStatus5FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]smilodon91Throwaway Account34 points35 points36 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]buzzkillyallFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]moonchild2998FDS Newbie192 points193 points194 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]smilodon91Throwaway Account25 points26 points27 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SandyWaters0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]kacang_polong1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]snooklepookle_FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]favoritesoundFDS Newbie328 points329 points330 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]anotherdamnloserFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]kiwielchihuahuaFDS Newbie221 points222 points223 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]ApprehensiveCorgi161Throwaway Account14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (28 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]TropicalPrairieFDS Newbie152 points153 points154 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]buzzkillyallFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie92 points93 points94 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]HornetKickFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]foxylady45567FDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple27 points28 points29 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]-badmadAMFDS Apprentice136 points137 points138 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Apprentice260 points261 points262 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]WildTendernessFDS Newbie73 points74 points75 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie33 points34 points35 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LeeBees1105FDS Newbie67 points68 points69 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]anotherdamnloserFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Time_BarracudaFDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]havingababypenguinFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]RavenWudgieRose11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]asteria2002FDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwmefaraway85FDS Newbie341 points342 points343 points (29 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]kmblueFDS Newbie147 points148 points149 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]jeanneeebeanneeeFDS Apprentice86 points87 points88 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CB4lifeFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie103 points104 points105 points (21 children) | Copy Link
[–]ydoiexistlolidkFDS Newbie115 points116 points117 points (19 children) | Copy Link
[–]JiltedGroupieFDS Newbie69 points70 points71 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]sailorstrongFDS Newbie75 points76 points77 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sailorstrongFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sailorstrongFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[+]YveisGreyFDS Newbie-6 points-5 points-4 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pangolinplatypusFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]buzzkillyallFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]pangolinplatypusFDS Newbie-1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]I_HATE_ECHO_CHAMBERSFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]YveisGreyFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IsabellaGalavantFDS Newbie145 points146 points147 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 116 points117 points118 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]anotherdamnloserFDS Newbie38 points39 points40 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Amy3e13FDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]letsberealforamomentRuthless Strategist62 points63 points64 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]tinysilverstarFDS Newbie40 points41 points42 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]what-are-potatoesFDS Newbie93 points94 points95 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]IrritatedMangoFDS Newbie73 points74 points75 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fermata102FDS Newbie45 points46 points47 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]hakunnamatatamfsFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rysedgFDS Newbie44 points45 points46 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]aclick1999FDS Newbie[S] 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BetterToBeLonelyFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]deathbecomesme123456FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Solaresa36 points37 points38 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pineappleshampooPickmeisha™️29 points30 points31 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]sharpbehindFDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]pineappleshampooPickmeisha™️6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SpaceC4seFDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CounterCharacter7663Throwaway Account63 points64 points65 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]VillanellohFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sammytheforsakenFDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]JaneIsaPainFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]anotherdamnloserFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]somegenerichandleFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Allaboutb1FDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tasdronFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PersonalBuy0Pickmeisha™️1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link