RedPill Men, Do You Believe that People Can Uhhhh Love Each Other?

AggroWeasel · 2021-08-23T23:57:21+00:00

Yes, people can love each other forever. It is exceptionally rare, however.

I believe marriage simply is statistically a bad bet.

Perseus_the_Bold · 2021-08-23T21:34:45+00:00

Yes.

Your problem is that you believe this sub is indicative of real world experience and that this place can be used as some sort of window into how real relationships work outside of the internet and dating apps.

This place is full of outliers such as undercover-incels, nihilistic misfits, Blue Pillers in full denial, and all manner of emotionally crippled and autist mined dudes who barely have a grasp of reality in their solipsistic world view. In simple words: This place is hardly representative of men in general. You are in the Weird Zone.

_lemazaki · 2021-08-23T20:51:27+00:00

I mean, no jokes here, my connections improved a lot after I learned about "red pill" (not really learned because men already talked about it before the internet thing)

What changed? I insert my self in the best situation possible and I accepted things the way they are without resentment.

My last "gf" as an exemple, I knew that will never work out long term... but we really enjoyed the time we spend together while the passion was high. I knew we lost connection because I was not the guy she would settle for at her age. And I was not searching for a woman like her.

stats135 · 2021-08-23T21:34:32+00:00

Love? Yes. Unconditional Love? No

Its just a matter of whether that condition is your very existence as a human being, or your actions as a human doing.

A good example of being loved as a human being is that of a parent-child. A child is loved for the very blood flowing through their veins. You see documentaries of psychopathic serial killer, and the parents will forever see them as the baby boy they love.

A example of being loved as a human doing is that of a woman's love for men. You see posts here describing how once a man does something that causes a woman to lose respect for him, they lose love for him as well. A woman's love for a man requires that he constantly acts a certain way.

Warchief_Ripnugget · 2021-08-24T07:54:17+00:00

I am more red pill adjacent, but in the community they definitely believe in love as a concept, but don't typically refer to it as "love." They refer to it as pair bonding, which for all intents and purposes is love. Pair binding is the ability for a couple to form a deep attachment to another person that will inspire commitment and loyalty for each other. They acknowledge its existence, but say that a women's ability to pair bond greatly diminishes with the number of relationships she has (including hook ups and one night stands). I believe that there is a lot of truth to that, but where we disagree is that I believe the number of partners also effect men around the same amount.

Overall, RP's take on love does bring a bit of logic to the picture.

My personal take on love is that it isn't a feeling, love is a choice demonstrated through actions. The high that people get during the honeymoon phase isn't love, it's lust and infatuation for their partner. There will, without a doubt, be peaks and valleys regarding your infatuation to your significant other throughout a relationship, but if you choose to love them you will work through it with them and overcome the hardships dealt. My big issue with most people in modern society is they look at love as being happy and just a feeling (if you are no longer infatuated, the relationship is over). Love is a duty just like marriage. It isn't easy, its work and divorce is used way too liberally in this Era. This isn't to say that you should never ever divorce, but treat it how it is supposed to be treated, a last resort.

cuckspace · 2021-08-24T01:28:42+00:00

A woman loves the way a man makes her feel. As soon as he doesn’t provide whatever makes her feel that way, she stops loving. It’s a selfish and self-directed kind of love. Modern women are so hostile towards men I’m not sure they are even capable of this limited and transactional kind of love. With all their male-posturing and female chauvinism they are not very lovable themselves either. Uncontrollable horniness is the only reason some single men still pursue women, I guess.

FuckWhatYallThink · 2021-08-23T20:49:51+00:00

Love is like anything else. It can be studied, dissected and understood at a sociological, ultimately biological level. Sorry if that bothers you buddy.

ToughAnswers · 2021-08-23T20:49:05+00:00

do you believe that people can uhh love each other

Yes

are you hoping to marry someone you can call your best friend?

No. Modernity is not compatible with monogamy. Doesn't mean people can't love each other.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2021-08-24T07:53:43+00:00

The more I read this sub the less it seems to me that RedPillers believe women and men can form intimate emotional connections that aren't based around their obsessive alpha beta hypergamy theories.

Love between men and women is either transactional or delusional.

Maybe I'll just ask this: are you hoping to marry someone you can call your best friend?

Any time anyone says they are "married to their best friend" I (and basically any other non-soyboy man) hears, "We have a dead bedroom. Like, COMPLETELY dead. 'Rigor mortis' dead. We have what the Romans would call 'Deadicus Bedroomicus'."

LowCreddit · 2021-08-23T20:52:59+00:00

No. Men love women. Women love children. People can lust for each other, but that is temporary.

EstablishmentKooky50 · 2021-08-23T21:01:14+00:00

How do you define love?

ErrendeEbecee · 2021-08-24T04:29:23+00:00

Sure they can. Romantic love is one of the main reasons why you see all these "attractive women with unattractive men".

The caveat is, romantic love is very much a temporary thing and none of these relationships are workable in the long term(barring other factors like kids or being too old to look for someone else)

So yeah, people can love each other. If they're DUMB

phantomdilletante · 2021-08-24T07:28:43+00:00

Well, I think the Red Pill mindset isn’t the women and men can’t form intimate emotional relationships. It’s just that women will generally only form lasting intimate emotional relationships with a very specific kind of man, and will be unwilling to have it with men who differ from that archetype. And should a man they marry differ from that archetype, she’ll tend to cut off the relationship entirely to find a man who does. So, it’s less that the Red Pill is telling men they can’t ever have intimate emotional relationships with women. It’s more that as a man, that emotional intimacy is something you earn from a woman if you’re good enough as a man in her eyes, and there’s a good chance she won’t think so of most men, which probably includes you as a man, or that she’ll change her mind about you over the years. In other words, as a woman she has a natural power advantage in relationships through whether she chooses to give emotional intimacy and affection or not, and so the Red Pill is all about learning to be the best man you can so you can combat that power, actually get what you want in relationships with women, and not be abused. It can seem bleak and loveless because many men who find themselves in Red Pill spaces have come there because they’ve been emotionally and physically abused by women in relationships, and society has validated every action of their abusers, and Red Pill spaces are the only spaces that actually validate the pain of men as victims of women. So, there’s probably many Red Pill men who wish they could marry a woman they could call their best friend, but they know that, unless you become the perfect character for the role you have to perform, and sometimes even then, there’s a very slim chance that could happen without being stabbed in the back years later.

ToughAnswers · 2021-08-23T21:07:43+00:00

There are loveable humans and unloveable ones.

Small minority of men and big majority of women are loveable thus they can form mutual love.

Other humans are just fodders in society.

angels-fan · 2021-08-24T01:05:26+00:00

I'm red pill.

I love my wife and she loves me.

Yes, it can happen.

__Honey_Badger__ · 2021-08-23T21:07:26+00:00

There is almost always a transactional element to relationships and - yes - to love as well.

The more "hippyish" types HATE when you say this but honestly it's all around us:

The attractive couple have exchanged looks...THEN became LTR compatible.

The hippie couple exchanged looks and/or social status...THEN became LTR compatible.

The wealthy couple exchanged a mix of money, social status and attractiveness...THEN became LTR compatible.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying there can't be beauty in this. For example, contrary to popular belief, the "gold digger" lady can have an initial attraction to a wealthy, unnatractive guy, but GENUINELY start to fall in love with him over time. I've seen situations like this all the time.

Real relationships are multifaceted, complex exchanges.

Chunka23 · 2021-08-23T20:57:23+00:00

Ofc two people can love each other.

boomershack · 2021-08-23T21:25:24+00:00

You don't have to marry your best friends to love them.

Marketing_Baboon · 2021-08-23T22:04:18+00:00

Sure they can, but it’s becoming increasingly rare. More and more every year people (mostly women) fall prey to the incorrect idea that love is a feeling rather than a choice that you need to make over and over again. Marriage is a dying institution and dating or maintaining a healthy relationship in general is something fewer and fewer people can manage to do successfully. In case you haven’t realized, this realization is what leads men to the red pill, they don’t get there and then start believing that love is dying after the fact. It’s a purely reactional ideology, so if you ever wonder why we believe certain things all you need to do is look around you.

razormachine · 2021-08-23T22:48:14+00:00

Yes. However cases in which partners trully love each other are increasingly rare. And as you age chances of finding "true love" gradually go to s***, and then even lower.

With time people which are good relationship material form strong relationships. What remains is assholes, and people which got so damaged by assholes that they close themselves.

biggestuzifanea · 2021-08-23T21:13:33+00:00

I believe men are capable of love, I do not believe women are capable of love

edit: whoever is downvoting debate me, this is a debate sub

hudoor · 2021-08-24T01:19:19+00:00

Modern women can't love. Love died in the 19th century. Case closed.

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2021-08-23T22:05:39+00:00

Maybe I'll just ask this: are you hoping to marry someone you can call your best friend?

No. Marriage is completely off the table. And now that I'm close to making 6 figures, I'd rather die alone.

goneaway2thewind · 2021-08-24T07:23:33+00:00

How men define love: My wellbeing is attached to another person's wellbeing. Their happiness is my happiness.

How women define love: I'm grateful and addicted to the experience that being with this person provides. It makes me happy.

This is what's happening on a emotional level. The difference between Red and Blue pillers is the dependence on a woman's emotion of love itself, because her version is only conditional to the experience and not the other. Men believe by default they both are experiencing love the same way and are rudely awakened when they realize that is not the case. Red pillers are pragmatists, in that their strategy is designed to keeping the experience that they provide exciting, vs expecting a woman to be attached to him as an individual unconditionally.

Hence "Women dont love men, they love what men provide"

TemperateSloth · 2021-08-23T21:11:48+00:00

Not in any meaningful sense of the word “love”. It’s a delusion. If you’re smart you use that delusion to your benefit.

TheJim66 · 2021-08-23T21:16:51+00:00

Of course people can love each other. That's what hypergamy does, determines which man the woman is sexually attracted to and thus loves.

Maybe I'll just ask this: are you hoping to marry someone you can call your best friend?

Probably. It will depend on future circumstances. Regardless , whether I'll think of her as my best friend or not doesn't mean I will stop gaming her, that she'll stop being sexually attracted to alpha traits and find beta traits a turn off or that she'll stop being hypergamous.

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purplepilldthrowaway · 2021-08-23T21:47:46+00:00

Do you believe that people can love each other?

Yes

Are you hoping to marry someone you can call your best friend?

It'd be nice but I'm not holding out on it, if it happens it happens. I haven't met an amazing match yet personality wise even though I've met many girls I had great chemistry with and definitely loved (mutually), even if the relationship ended.

Believing that lifting weights and becoming more confident + dominant in the right ways can help your dating life, doesn't preclude being loved or loving someone else.

Chaotic_Licking · 2021-08-23T23:39:59+00:00

I definitely believe and I hope. What's stopping me is my wish to not be abused and unfortunately this has some incel-y tendencies.

Kanonicman · 2021-08-24T01:23:03+00:00

Yes. Not looking to marry. If I would, of course. What do you think, we monsters or something?

01000101010001010 · 2021-08-24T04:19:00+00:00

Yes - People can love each other and it is a wonderful state, even though it requires work on both ends. I view it essential for a fulfilling relationship. Redpill is rather a framework for searching like-minded potential partners (without calling it such, as so much RP is perceived as just degenerates talking BS)

No - I do not want to marry my best friend - partner, friend, love - I think people are overloading the person they want to be in a relationship with and this might be a point of failure. My best friend does not have to be my partner.

Nihi1986 · 2021-08-24T04:56:43+00:00

They can, though I don't think it's easy to find and keep. It also depends on what you mean with 'love'. Love, Imo, to be called love should be almost unconditional and I don't think that unconditional romantic relationships exist. However, that's more like an idealization of love.

If with love you meant trust, friendship, attraction, appreciation, genuinely caring and wishing happiness to your partner, yeah I believe it's possible.

Regarding you question: no. Sorry, I guess I'm too jaded from past experiencies but I'd not call her my best friend, that doesn't mean I think love (not idealized) is impossible. A relationship is not purely a friendship the same way a friendship is absolutely not a romantic relationship, so she can't be my best friend. (Not sure if I'm using the right words, I'm not English).

calisthenics-guy-96 · 2021-08-24T08:17:18+00:00

"Love" yeah, but it is actually leverage. And it is conditional. Only women and children can get unconditional love. Men cannot

Lateralanouncer · 2021-08-24T09:23:12+00:00

Definitely.

abaxeron · 2021-08-24T13:44:26+00:00

are you hoping to marry someone you can call your best friend?

No. I'll be fine with someone who will not betray me out of boredom and can take constructive criticism.

"Friend" is a very speculative term. Ever since I stopped being weak useless broke incompetent piece of shit, whoever claimed to be my "friend" eventually wanted something from me for free.

AndrewEmbarricedYang · 2021-08-24T15:03:07+00:00

Define love.

pubgmisc · 2021-08-24T17:11:48+00:00

Yes ofc! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBypwIzu6gw&ab\_channel=TheRationalMale

Adaptoh · 2021-08-24T18:04:15+00:00

Yes it is very much possible, although extremely rare. I'd say about 5-10% of people will ever truly be in a relationship where they truly love each other.

Reasonable-Art7731 · 2021-08-24T19:37:21+00:00

Love to me has nothing to do with a forever thing (unless we're talking 'bout mom to son, dad to son etc). To me, love has a lot to do with sexuality, with hornyness, attraction on multiple levels, something that fades off depending on the situation, circumstances, atittudes, etc. I believe ppl can love each other on these grounds.

M_LaSalle · 2021-08-25T00:30:56+00:00

Of course they can. But people love of their own free will, and that tends to be fickle. with women especially. She may love you with all her heart and all her soul. Tomorrow she may feel the same about someone else.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-08-25T05:20:15+00:00

Love is the illusion that one woman differs from another brought on by a stiff erection and a slough of potent and dangerous brain chemicals.

Some men have risen above this toxic trick, but we're very rare...

happygone25 · 2021-08-25T10:30:11+00:00

Most of our psychological tendencies and emotions are based on survival and procreation.

With that being said, there are ways people have exploited the flaws in these emotions either in themselves or in others and so I do think it is very possible for men and women to ALMOST genuinely love each other unconditionally.

I once had a biology professor say, "evolution has no forethought"

Silver-Let3360 · 2021-08-26T14:39:21+00:00

Yes, Though a lot rarer these days it's still there somewhat and if both couples have equal amounts to offer, it can lead to marriage thus the red pill man becomes purple pill.

Bitter-Scratcher · 2021-08-26T21:42:52+00:00

People win the lottery, but better chance of being struck by lightning.

pfmarshallx · 2021-08-30T21:08:18+00:00

That’s a simple but therefore surprising great question in its simplicity. No smart man with his eyes open believes, or should, in romantic love. That’s why RP is in way intellectually superior. There’s sexual attraction and infatuation for those under 27 (from puberty) because your brain isn’t developed until around then, while the rest of us just have at best, ideally mutual, respect comfort (as the great” Godfather” Kevin Samuels and later) The only love is that of a mother and father for their son and or daughter, because that is the closest we mortal humans get to immortality Love in the romantic sense is a very recent and artificial phenomenon based in a society so pampered and cushy that they can afford to be that childish. Our side’s ideology is based evolutionary socio biology, the opposite sex ideology is cultural version of Marxism (Oppressor vs. Oppressed) But while Marxism has been an abject failure in all its forms, evolution is a law of nature, so which is more correct?

Barely-moral · 2021-08-23T22:00:10+00:00

Define what you call "love" please.

From my perspective people can have feelings of romantic love towards other people but it is only a feeling, something fickle and uncontrollable, a bad foundation for any relationship that is meant to last.

I rather build a relationship on rational self interest. It is more stable than love. Love is good, I wouldn't want a relationship without it, but it is not a good base to build on.

are you hoping to marry someone you can call your best friend?

Nope. Marriage involves giving my partner the chance to take half of everything I have and half of everything I will ever make. That creates a perverse incentive structure that rewards my partner for leaving the relationship. No one is immune to incentive structures. Also, I have yet to meet a woman that offers me something that is worth half of everything I have and half of everything I will ever make. There are a few somethings worth that much, but women don't offer those, at least not to me.

ass-thetics · 2021-08-23T21:40:48+00:00

Yes. Although there is unfortunately, no such thing as true love through thick and thin no matter what. You can lose it, as well as develop it.

idrinkapplejuice42 · 2021-08-23T21:43:31+00:00

Love generally appears after attraction is established.

TheMailmanic · 2021-08-23T21:57:51+00:00

The fact that you're asking this means you don't know anything about the red pill

Of course it's possible, but men and women love differently

ex_red_black_piller · 2021-08-23T21:58:24+00:00

> are you hoping to marry someone you can call your best friend?

This definition is the problem. The best friend part is one component among many that are required for a good marriage for me.

So no, I'm not looking to marry my best friend.

TheRedPillRipper · 2021-08-23T23:01:00+00:00

Love each other

Definitely. The key to love is trust. For example I trust unconditionally. I believe in my partner and have faith in her. If she’s unfaithful, or ends our relationship that’s fine. It won’t change the contentment, happiness and love I felt. Sure the betrayal of that love, of that trust; after the fact hurts. It however, never hurts during.

hoping to marry someone you can call your best friend?

No. That’s too much responsibility for one person. It’s why having a social group, outside of your relationship is so beneficial. Sure my partner can be a lot of things. I’d never ask her though, to be everything.

Godspeed and good luck!

TheScabSlayerTRP · 2021-08-23T23:43:26+00:00

Can 2 people love each other of course. Can a couple become intimate, loving and have a marriage, of course. There’s never been a doubt of that, the doubt however stems from weighing the risk/reward of it in modern western cultures.

I’ve never been interested in marriage so your direct question is not applicable to my situation.

Special-Armadillo-99 · 2021-08-25T16:03:04+00:00

I think men and women love differently and since women can't love men the way they love women and they themselves want to be loved it's a meaningless delineation.

Yes women can love men, according to the way women love. Which is in a utilitarian sense

Title	RedPill Men, Do You Believe that People Can Uhhhh Love Each Other?
Author	Neither_Works
Upvotes	50
Comments	279
Date	August 23, 2021 8:40 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pa8cy2/redpill_men_do_you_believe_that_people_can_uhhhh/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/redpill-men-do-you-believe-that-people-can-uhhhh.1060294 https://theredarchive.com/post/1060294

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