[Q4All] Do naturally attractive women have to "try"?

Hoopy223 · 2021-12-15T23:26:32+00:00

My ex was hot and the longest she was ever single was 6 months. According to her that was a VERY long time lol.

After dating her I came to the conclusion that the only way an attractive woman can be 100% single is if they lived underground without access to Internet, Phone etc. Like one of those crazy hermits you read about in Siberia or whatever.

IHaveSalesQuestions · 2021-12-15T22:11:45+00:00

Everyone has to try when it comes to a relationship. Good looking people just get way more at-bats.

Atlas-B-Shruggin · 2021-12-15T22:23:44+00:00

no she can literally just sit in her house with no makeup, no stylish clothes, no grooming, no exercise , nothign and chad swings in through her window with a 4 carat engagement ring

sublimemongrel · 2021-12-16T01:25:50+00:00

When you’re young and you’re world is full of young single male peers you don’t really need to do much beyond putting yourself out there (ie looking good and being social and doing things in which you’ll have opportunities to meet such men). Being in college was good enough for me. That being said you’re not running around in sweatpants with hair you haven’t washed in three days….young single women interested in meeting men aren’t gonna do that by and large and that’s not a great strategy even if they are good looking without makeup.

However college/grad school doesn’t last forever and neither does a super active social life where you’re gonna be going out all the time, meeting lots of new people all the time, etc (unless you really maintain that lifestyle).

My naturally attractive single girlfriends that had started their careers and worked a lot still did apps and meet ups and blind dates and whatnot. Many of them also dated and ended up with men they met more organically (like work colleagues, work networking etc). But they still had to put themselves out there more deliberately once older and living a professional work life.

LotBuilder · 2021-12-15T23:41:32+00:00

Yes. No matter how pretty a girl is… very few men that she would want would tolerate no effort. Or I’d they do in the beginning they will break up later

Initial_Chemical7121 · 2021-12-15T22:14:10+00:00

I think a lot of this depends on location, actually. In my experience I’ve never had to try (in the south and Midwest) or download dating apps. On a trip to Germany though, I got looked at and talked to probably half as much as I do back home.

Hjelmert · 2021-12-16T00:08:26+00:00

I think finding a devoted partner is a lot of luck, but being attractive certainly helps. Attractive people have more options (but also more shit to filter out).

Anecdotal but I'm not a hot woman, not ugly either but people wouldn't pay for my feet pics to put it like that. I found a great, loving partner who matches me perfectly and that was pure luck. We ran in the same social circles and got a crush on eachother, only effort i had to make was socialization and basic grooming.

2021-12-16T00:34:30+00:00

Women in general don’t have to try

Good to be back btw, I’m sure I’ll be gone again soon

SeaSquirrel · 2021-12-15T22:23:13+00:00

Do they have to try to receive any attention at all? Probably not. But they still have the struggle that all women have, finding the right attention from the right guy.

And yea it sucks that dating is easier for conventionally attractive people, but thats just how it is. I wouldn’t look at using dating apps and strategems as “compensation”, these are all things that can help you find higher quality potential partners, no matter how attractive you are. Lots of very pretty people use dating apps.

evanstown21 · 2021-12-16T02:01:41+00:00

Yes. I have friends that did beauty pageants and some of them have appeared in Italian vogue and they all try in various ways. There’s no such thing as “naturally attractive” to begin with, you still have to exercise and eat right and take care of your skin and have a sense of style and hold yourself a certain way etc. More importantly, the prettier you are the more important it is that you have boundaries because people always want more from you. They want to use your status, use you for arm candy, use you to show off to friends and people stop seeing you and appreciating you for who you are- a person with thoughts and feelings. You need boundaries for the people that stalk you and have parasocial relationships and those that try and push you to use your appearances for certain things. They may put less effort into attracting but must put in twice as much effort into keeping bad people away and identifying people who actually care.

pearllovespink · 2021-12-15T23:19:02+00:00

The answer is no. I usually wear no makeup when I go out unless I’m taking photos. I dress nicely and men approach me. I’m outgoing so things happen naturally.

Now most men just want sex. I don’t care how attractive the woman is. A man will try to sleep her. To get quality men you have to be strategic.

StarchRunner · 2021-12-15T22:45:28+00:00

To get the best in their class, maybe?

On the average day, this is what dating scene looks like for them.

Remarkable-Salt1074 · 2021-12-15T23:07:08+00:00

Hyper attractive people usually don’t have to do as much assuming that they know what to do when it comes to KEEPING attraction present. In addition to this, positive reinforcement from physical attractiveness (especially from an early age) potentially ruins personality development.

Women in general are able to get more attention than men, thus leading to a logical conclusion that women value male attention less. In my experience, most women want to be able to lockdown great guys from their list of options. A lot of very attractive women I’ve met are surprisingly bad at this due to terrible vetting or being vapid themselves. Can’t keep the hot guy with the great personality (unless they’re looking for a trophy wife) if you don’t offer any personality traits of your own.

To directly answer the question, plenty of attractive women use apps and other means. I believe that you only need to be above average overall in order to generate a good amount of potential options. This is possible for most people with gym and personal care. The question I’d have is how attractive are you physically, and are you a pleasant person to be around?

Gigamon2014 · 2021-12-16T14:21:06+00:00

I've dated some absolutely stunning women before I met my other half. I dunno, I don't like to attribute negative character traits to people who have the audacity to be pleasing to the eye...however there has been some common themes I've noticed with attractive women.

There was one I spoke to whilst my girlfriend and I were on a break. She was really beautiful. Pale and slightly red headed with really full lips...the kind you see white girls injecting loads of filler to try and replicate. She was also doing okay for herself, was only about 24 at the time and worked in insurance sales and owned her own home. She had the personality of a goldfish though. Nice enough girl, nothing overly negative about her...but christ almighty, she was boring as shit. I felt because she looked so pretty and youthful, she never actually had to try. And it was apparent from her actions. Can't really say I blame her though, I can't imagine trying myself if I had natural good looks from my youth.

creekcrystall · 2021-12-15T22:18:03+00:00

I’ve heard guys get into relationships with super hot girls that had the personality of a brick and just ended it cause they couldn’t take it anymore.

I think as a beautiful woman the attention will be great but at some point you’re going to want something real so you will eventually have to put some effort into finding quality men and/or becoming quality yourself

chalkandapples · 2021-12-15T22:35:38+00:00

It's a good thing to have to try. Trying allows you to have agency for yourself, and helps you be more self aware and have a better idea of what you want. It allows you to build relationship skills early. I'm sure there are people that can get dates without trying, but I think everyone should try, and it's not a bad thing to have to try.

I get very little male romantic attention (although I have many solid platonic male relationships) unless I put in some effort. I don't consider that a bad thing, and I don't think it's compensating. It's normal for people to try at things.

TomorrowsWar · 2021-12-15T22:36:03+00:00

Men materialize in my apartment. If I’m lonely I’ll call a plumber or electrician. I’m a renter so when they show up they already know they have to leave their wives when they walk thru the building. /s

Ofc everyone needs to try to find someone they like and try to be appealing to them. I’ll get some attention if I’m out in sweats but I’ll get more attention if they’re sexy sweats or if I wear false lashes.

And yes you have to still use apps…. The men you meet on the street and in life are honestly just as much as a mixed bag as online dating.

Some men fall into my lap, others fall into my trap, and sometimes I fall into their trap. But the key is to only talk to people who prove they’re actually interested in you, don’t get all lovey dovey about your date early on. He’s just some guy who might disappear at any second, he could have a secret wife. See if he’s interested, see if you like him at all, and remember that when it comes to opening up to men, less is more

Read the art of seduction and find your natural seduction types, play to your strengths

Educational-Cut4177 · 2021-12-15T22:42:00+00:00

Probably not. That’s life

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-12-15T22:52:47+00:00

Not really, now to really truly improve her options to The Best of the Best of the Best, she can put in a little more effort, I kind of compare it to being a great athlete, if you end up being 6 ft 6 with great athleticism with some level of skill you can at least get a college scholarship, but if you're willing to put in ridiculous work ethic combined with those things, you might make it to the hall of fame it just is what it is

SylvestorTalone · 2021-12-15T23:31:59+00:00

I wish I was like the pretty women who seemingly just have quality relationships fall into their laps.

They don't, they have relationships with quality men fall into their laps. There is a significant difference between those two things. There are planety of beautiful women who cannot keep a man around or maintain a non-trainwreck relationship.

supercreativenamelol · 2021-12-16T05:21:24+00:00

My friends date girls who are facially average looking (the internet's idea of average is skewed though so I should probably say "ugly" instead bc ppl online think avg ppl are ugly for some reason), some were medium size, some were chubby, but all of them tried harder to look better by dressing in more expensive-looking clothing and wearing more makeup and my friends have told me that it's very attractive to them when a girl puts effort into her appearance. I can't really relate to that, I guess I'm a prick and when I see average women try-harding, it doesn't make me think they're more attractive.

Guys have varying tastes. Some guys think body is more important and 80% of attractiveness. For me, the face is like 90% of attractiveness but I think my opinion is in the minority (not sure what the stats are when it comes to face vs body). A good body is a huge bonus though and would make me appreciate the face even more.

Idk what you look like but you might as well start putting in some effort. It won't hurt.

sine120 · 2021-12-15T22:31:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sine120 · 2021-12-15T22:43:05+00:00

Since your question is about entering a relationship and not keeping one, the answer is probably no. Attractive girls will likely have a plethora of dudes offering a relationship and if they're even a little interesting they can probably keep them. Unless she's locked in a basement guys will find them and depending on how many people she interacts with daily there could be an opportunity once a month to once a day. The most common places this will happen are school/ work/ mutual friends. Doubly so if they're the social/ outgoing.

I wish I had some tidbit of wisdom to share to make your situation sound better but in short if your goal is to find a dude and they're not coming to you, you might have to do something to be seen more. That could be dating apps or finding more friends.

ohdiddly · 2021-12-16T00:24:29+00:00

I didn’t have to try, no. I basically just stumbled into my relationship by accident. I wasn’t specifically looking for a relationship, it kinda just happened.

2021-12-16T00:54:36+00:00

I think everyone (60-70% of women and 98% of men) are envious of those who just accept and vet applicants. The pressures that used to push people together are no longer relevant and people have been dis-incentivized from putting the effort in or lowering their ideal standards. The juice isn't worth the squeeze. Unicorn or bust YOLO.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-12-16T01:07:44+00:00

They have to go outside, yes, if that's what you're asking.

KingInTheNorthVI · 2021-12-16T01:47:19+00:00

To get the guys that they are attracted to.. yes

TryLambda · 2021-12-16T02:03:09+00:00

There are millions of thirty dudes out there, of course good looking women don’t have to try, there are lines of football teams waiting to rail her!

boofthegirl · 2021-12-16T02:53:46+00:00

I’d say I was “naturally pretty” during high school and after. I’ve definitely dropped a few pegs since putting on a bit of relationship weight.

I actually started working with a girl 5 years younger than me that went to high school while I was there and we became friends. She said she and her friend group were obsessed with copying everything I did, wanting to be just like me because I was pretty and interesting (and then she followed up with “now I actually know you I think you’re probably more boring than everyone else” lmao 18 year olds are harsh).

To put it simply, yes, I could’ve gotten a relationship relatively easily. With quality men? Less easily. I increased my own quality and got a very high quality man who is better than me (in my opinion).

But being pretty puts another type of pressure on you that you always feel you can look better, do better, attract more. I’m much happier now being more average looking. Maybe I still am pretty but I care less about looks. I am older and more mature and focused on other things.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2021-12-16T03:31:01+00:00

That's how I got all my bfs, and my husband. But to keep them happy you def try.

2021-12-16T03:53:37+00:00

Sure, she has to try less to get male attention. On the flip side, until she is old, she won't know who is there for her as a person, and who is there for just her looks.

Quality relationships don't fall in anyone's laps. Beautiful people can and are just as horrible as everyone else.

coconutmilk2001 · 2021-12-16T04:17:53+00:00

Absolutely. This is kind of a silly question.

Sure it's easy to get lots of male attention, but then you have a ton of creeps/players/fuckboys that you have to filter to have a small chance of finding one that seems to be good.

Then of course there's still a huge chance that he isn't who you thought he was or the relationship just doesn't work for whatever reason. It takes a lot of work to find a good partner regardless of how you look.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-12-16T05:54:56+00:00

Never had issues attracting men. Go to the grocery store , men talked , get the oil changed , men talked . Walk in Auto Zone , men talked.
Waiting in line to check out , men talked . When single always had men hitting on me . Sending a patient out to the hospital . Paramedics always chit chatting away. Police officers that did security , always talking , flirting . Fed EX workers delivering supplies etc.
When I was single had no problems with men talking or asking me out . Issue is to Vet them , pretty sure the majority that tried asking me out were already in relationship or married.

Beginning_Proof_2160 · 2021-12-16T09:15:27+00:00

I feel bad for attractive women because they get hit on constantly, and they have to filter a lot of men until they find the one

Apprehensive_Boat_70 · 2021-12-16T09:58:49+00:00

Everyone must go through a process, wether u are attractive or not, only mediocre people or who dont know better demand things to go fast, and as such, they end up being the ones you see complaining so much about how their partner isnt what they though they were, or complaining about being played, or the typical.

If the naturally attractive woman just wants a "relationship", yes, she doesnt has to try, if she wants a relstionship that isnt mediocre and fulfills her then yes, she has to go through a process just like the man.

That "love" at first sight situation that you re imagining..just exists in your imagination, thats how you idealize it, but that situation isnt as glamorous nor hollywoodesque in real life, it is the same as those movies that sell the fantasy of getting rich quick out of the blue, that can happen in real life, but it rarely if ever ends up well, many lottery winners lose everything after 5 years.

Sen_ri · 2021-12-16T12:18:05+00:00

Think about this logically. If more men approach you then more low quality men approach as well. I don’t think quality relationships fall into anyone’s lap aside from just being lucky. Too many people get taken advantage of, so it’s necessary for everyone to be vetting potential partners.

Also many beautiful people meet LTRs at social events which is still the case for folks in general. If you struggle to get dates you’ll have to be more social and put yourself out there. As an introvert that’s something I wouldn’t do much but I think I was better off single until my mid 20’s. I met my only boyfriend through work and we had mutual friends.

If you care about being valued for your looks and getting more attention then you need to invest time and money to achieve that. There are communities built around looksmaxing like I think r/vindicta would be up your alley in that case.

JameisBong · 2021-12-16T14:25:37+00:00

No. I've met a few actual "10's" in the entertainment industry, they just exist. Men and women fall all over themselves doing favors for them.

fhujr · 2021-12-16T15:40:59+00:00

I mean they have to. They have to try to read messages and give answer.

idrinkapplejuice42 · 2021-12-16T17:07:27+00:00

Pretty women that have trouble getting male attention are usually introverts and home bodies in my experience. The best thing you can do is put yourself in environments where men are comfortable being social and approaching. Go to bars, join clubs, get a hobby that takes place in a social setting etc. If you do this youll 100% get guys asking you out.

PixelPicklePie · 2021-12-16T20:01:26+00:00

There are women that are societies idea of the beauty standard. Those women don’t need to try initially to attract attention and will get plenty of it, but they do need to make effort to KEEP attention.

Then there are women who are behaviourally attractive, who might not be ‘stunning’, but are pretty, who might not turn a guys head when she walks through the door, but certainly catches his eye when she smiles at him. This woman will need to make a little bit of effort initially but won’t have to ramp this up too much in order to keep the guy.

Needing to use dating apps is not a measure of one’s attractiveness. Dating is not like it used to be and nowadays it’s almost a requirement to dip online every now and then just so you can see what’s out there and practice your dating skills.

tonyghow · 2021-12-17T00:07:14+00:00

I wish I didn't have to "try"

Ah, women struggles in a nutshell.

Women cry if they have to try.
Men always have to try or they get nothing.

captainquestionasker · 2021-12-15T23:47:11+00:00

I feel for you. Now, imagine if you had to essentially beg men for attention, throw money at them for their time, dance like a trained monkey to keep them interested and smile as they coldly and callously reject you time and time again. That’s the life of the average guy.

Put on some lippy and smile occasionally. It’s not so bad.

buyanavocadotree · 2021-12-15T23:38:59+00:00

I’ve never had to try since I was about 14 (age 27 now). Since then you I’ve pretty much been constantly fielding interest. I’ve never had trouble getting relationships with guys I want to date. Never been “pumped and dumped”. Never been rejected. Never had to use OLD to find a date (although I did use it twice for hookups while traveling in foreign countries bc it’s just easier). I wear stylish clothes and light makeup maybe 30% of the time I leave the house. I don’t shave my armpits.

The crazy thing is I don’t even think I’m wildly attractive- cute/pretty, sure, but definitely not over a 7/10 and probably closer to 6/10. And the guys I date are cool, interesting, tall, and in my opinion way more attractive than me. So I’m not sure what’s going on, maybe I’m cuter than I think I am, maybe guys actually do care about more than looks, maybe there’s another factor at play.

questionasker012 · 2021-12-15T23:14:18+00:00

Can they find someone to fuck easily -100%

Can they find someone to love and respect them…..a lot more difficult

But yeah I’d say if your naturally attractive you probably have to try wayyyyyy less hard

AquaChip · 2021-12-15T23:36:01+00:00

They have to “try” in the sense that they have to have impeccable vetting abilities because the majority of men will just want to use her for sex/other superficial reasons but no they don’t have to try to attract attention.

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Cheap-Pound7001 · 2021-12-15T22:25:24+00:00

No...and they are normally out of touch.

CauliflowerHonest950 · 2021-12-15T23:40:16+00:00

17abdul · 2021-12-16T00:09:55+00:00

Depends

cautionTomorrow555 · 2021-12-16T01:31:33+00:00

Depends on what you mean try if having a normal social life is try then yes if not then no not really from what I have seen of the one 10/10 woman I knew. She once or twice had guys get into literal fistfights over her despite her not being interested in either of them.

wtknight · 2021-12-16T03:52:55+00:00

The biggest issue that naturally attractive women face is having to fend off the attention of less attractive men, so that's what they have to "try" at. I suppose that it's possible that a man who she is really into might not be into her, though. Not every man is attracted to every woman who other men think is attractive.

errrright · 2021-12-16T04:11:31+00:00

Yes, attractive women have to try. It may be that they don’t have to try as hard to get a man’s attention - but smart men aren’t going to commit to a woman who is unlikable, awkward, boring, etc. no matter how attractive she is.

Don’t get me wrong - looks do matter, but being attractive does not guarantee you an easy ride through life. Attractive women struggle the same way unattractive women struggle in relationships. They get cheated on, ghosted, ignored, strung along, and otherwise fucked over all the same.

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-12-16T04:40:55+00:00

I ask because I get very little male attention

Society has changed and men are more hesitatant to give attention.

ThatGirl50 · 2021-12-16T06:45:04+00:00

What a dumb question.

dbz19 · 2021-12-16T10:07:43+00:00

Of course they do. I'm not that easy. I'm not just going to give myself to every lady that says hello.

JoeRMD77 · 2021-12-16T13:35:08+00:00

Your post kind of connects with me because I've never tried to impress the other sex and never thought I needed to. If a woman can't innately feel that I'm desirable with a high ceiling, then how I can convince her?

Well, that was my old style of thinking.

The new style of thinking is: take care of myself, look presentable and my problems disappate as long as I'm not too picky.

I have too many matches now if ya' ask me. But that's a good problem to have lol

M_LaSalle · 2021-12-16T14:16:25+00:00

Everybody has to try. They don't always have to make the same effort at the same things. She can get attention without much effort and she can sex without effort. If she wants the commitment of a man she actually wants, then she'll have to make an effort. Life is that way.

michael1962-01 · 2021-12-16T14:16:45+00:00

Natural 10 young fertile beauty?

It is complex.

I am with a such.

Does she have to "try". Sure. Does she get a quality commitment. Yes. Since some years.

She could have nearly everyone (she is not poor) but is at my side.

Intrepid_Place5390 · 2021-12-16T15:26:20+00:00

For sex no. But a ltr. Yes. If she’s got nothing in term of rmv. She’s just for fun

PMmeareasontolive · 2021-12-16T15:50:34+00:00

Might depend on where you live. I'm in the Pacific Northwest. Women here generally do not like to be approached in grocery stores, etc, by weird men. And most reasonable men have picked up on that so it happens less here than elsewhere, probably.

You could be pretty and still have to put in some effort. :(

SyllabubQuiet2482 · 2021-12-16T19:42:46+00:00

Yes and their education and career matters also. I’ve lived in different places and there’s very few women who are naturally attractive. Harsh to say this but lot of US women may naturally be pretty but also are on heavier side. If you want to do minimal effort with most male attention, high quality men, staying fit and slim is no.1 thing you should be doing.

Shredddz · 2021-12-17T02:30:08+00:00

Well you get what you are willing to work for. no, good looking women get swarmed with attention without doing anything. But the degree of attractiveness varies a lot to different men and the higher quality the men is, the more she has to try. if she doesnt, she still will get anything handed to her, but will always have someone below what she could have if she worked for it. not trying works only until a certain level of men, and to be real if I see no intuitive effort, the girl is immeadiately labeled in my mind as "not commitment worthy" regardless of looks, and think most men who have self respect do the same for the this reason. so they do very much have to try to some degree to get emotional investment from guys with backbone, but literally could play dead and still get LTRs from enough decent looking men without backbone or sex from high quality men.

the answer to your question depends on what your looking for. If its a emotional connection from a higher quality, masculine man with morals and backbone, the answer is yes she has to try even if she was a ten. less effort than lower level women, but still effort. if you want superficial attraction for your ego though or use men for their resources and attention, zero effort is needed and lots of men will just sacrifice themselfs in a LTR and throw money on a pretty picture of a women regardless of what she did, even if she actively disrespected them.

PuzzleheadedBus9605 · 2021-12-18T01:07:06+00:00

Dazzling-Importance1 · 2021-12-18T13:03:28+00:00

Yes if she doesn't she gets pumped and dumped. Even if a hot girl has sex with me if she never initiates or asks questions I'm eventually gonna find someone else

daddysgotanew · 2021-12-18T20:06:39+00:00

If you’re a female in a country with internet access and the ability to walk and you can’t find a man that’s interested in you, then you are very unfortunate looking. That’s just a fact.

No pretty; or even decent looking women actually have to do any work to get male attention. Even just being thin in the US will allow you access to men far out of your social and economic class. No matter what your face looked like. If you’re struggling this tells me two things. You are very very fat, and also homely. That’s the double whammy of dating death for women.

yoooooooooooodaddy · 2021-12-15T22:30:21+00:00

Tbh they still have to try but it’s a lot less than a typical female would have to. They still definitely get rejected and struggle, but their success/failure ratio is pretty well balanced

meanwhile, it’s the females that CONSTANTLY complain about shitty partners and dates that I feel naturally don’t have “it”. If you, as a modern woman, struggle to attract men that aren’t retarded, it’s your fault. Lower your standards.

quiturbitchn · 2021-12-15T22:31:05+00:00

Yes, if they want a partner who aligns with their values. I attracted a lot of religious conservatives when I was single so used OLD to find a nice atheist man. There were lots of others things I looked for but that was a huge one

Title	[Q4All] Do naturally attractive women have to "try"?
Author	questionasker012
Upvotes	30
Comments	175
Date	December 15, 2021 10:09 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rhasn5/q4all_do_naturally_attractive_women_have_to_try/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-do-naturally-attractive-women-have-to-try.1092267 https://theredarchive.com/post/1092267

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