I find it very odd that we never ask women to be with a man who made them feel undesirable and "settled" for. The vast majority of women would not feel comfortable being with a man whom they knew loved his ex more than them and was far more willing to commit to her but is only with them because she is more attainable and provides them with stability and children. I have a lot of empathy for a woman in that situation and I would see it as completely understandable that she would not want to be with such a man. The fact that so many promiscuous women here resort to shaming and gaslighting instead of showing basic empathy strikes me as highly manipulative. I don't think the majority of people would want to be in a relationship with someone who'd lie to them and shame them for having basic emotions. I find it interesting how so many women's response is to basically say "stop being insecure" instead of trying to make their partner feel more attractive or finding someone they feel is on par with their previous partners.

I think if we're being completely honest with ourselves, the main reason why many of us engage in sex and relationships is to feel attractive and desired. This is the main reason why men choose to dumpster-dive on dating apps rather than seek out a much more attractive escort with far less effort. This is the basis of the entire relationship. If either partner feels their partner is "settling" for them or sees them as a downgrade, then the whole relationship will likely fall apart very quickly. One might argue that "we all settle" in relationships. I would respond by saying that we only settle if our goal is to get the hottest and highest-status person possible barring all other considerations. If our goal instead is to get someone we're very attracted to and sees us as an equal and cares for us, then the majority of us don't need to settle.