Does anyone know why there's a disconnect between OLD apps and real-life couples?

213322 · 2022-01-30T15:42:43+00:00

Women have ALWAYS had more options sexually.. cause men are easy. Men say yes to everyone. Tinder makes its obvious and its unnaturally discreet.

However long term relationships that happen more organically. Tend to be more equal in looks. If you meet online or fall in love with someone's job or money.. it tends to be unequal cause you fall in love with a keyboard/status. Lol

Hoopy223 · 2022-01-30T16:26:16+00:00

Dating apps are a fantasy/con game.

The vast majority of users are male so the women get tons of attention.

Profiles are full of her “best pictures” and an idealized description of her (or his for that matter) life.

But then you meet up and the actual dating part begins. Maybe your personalities clash. Maybe she is 50-100lbs heavier. Maybe he isn’t a millionaire heart surgeon like in his description.

cx456f · 2022-01-30T17:33:27+00:00

I have a weird theory that dating apps offer a more male-oriented marketplace and are therefore favored by males.

Likes are an explicit, overt expression of interest. Women seem to prefer ambiguity and deniability. They want to “send signals” so they can deny attraction ever existed, rather than get overtly rejected. They instinctively try to create a field of orbiters they can subtly encourage or discourage. “Friend zoned” = frustrated orbiter that can’t break through. She doesn’t reject him unless he really forces the issue, just keeps him in a cloud of ambiguity. OLD thrives in undeniable expressions of interest (likes) and clear rejection (when someone didn’t like you back), and is preferred by men, and ends up more of a sausage fest.

heyitsjeape · 2022-01-30T17:46:26+00:00

People who try online dating - such as me many years ago - are there because no one in real life is interested in us.

dysonRing · 2022-01-30T15:14:23+00:00

Because that incredible looking man that she pulled does not want to be in a relationship with her, apparently attractive men will have sex with any woman as long as it is a secret.

I personally don't do this, am very picky, but then again I am in control and think n count should only increase with attractive women.

Ppdebateismental · 2022-01-30T15:21:35+00:00

Men are thirsty and have always been thirstier. This is what some men will PAY to have sex with.

https://i.insider.com/4f43aff26bb3f74514000000?width=1200&format=jpeg&auto=webp

This is not new to online dating, the high school quarterback has always had options and slept with some less attractive women before getting married to the cheerleader. Most women try for the best, lots of men try for the most.

Jack_Fables · 2022-01-30T22:38:17+00:00

The males who are winning on OLD aren't DATING the girls in any serious fashion. They're just fucking them.
Average guys can't get matches because the girls have their sense of reality skewed because they're matching with dudes who are out of their league for relationships. Those dudes just want to pump-and-dump a new girl every day of the week.

But often times girls think they have a shot at landing those top 5% men because they can get matched and fucked, but wonder why they can't seem to make it last and keep replaying the game trying to make it stick.

10% of the guys fuck 80% of the girls. Grocery store couples are actual matched sets.

majani · 2022-01-30T18:41:30+00:00

The confounding variable in the sexual marketplace is SETLLING. It accounts for all weird discrepancies and happens for a variety of reasons. I summarize it by saying: hypergamy is the fantasy, assortative mating is the reality

nicethingyoucanthave · 2022-01-30T15:21:19+00:00

Where is the disconnect im seeing?

It’s between the SMP and the RMP

The couples you’re seeing are couples

steveblahhh · 2022-01-30T17:30:18+00:00

Average women do not easily or consistently pull incredible looking men... it's a notion perpetuated by this subreddit. They can on occasion "get lucky" and find a guy out of their league in a dry spell (happens to everyone) who will temporarily lower his standards.

The disconnect you allude to is that smv =/= rmv

TheJim66 · 2022-01-30T15:18:33+00:00

Because you are looking at married couples vs couples where the woman hasn't hit the epiphany phase yet.

CatoftheBanals · 2022-01-30T15:27:18+00:00

Most women aren’t on Tinder. So most women who meet someone in real life are probably meeting a person in their social circle or neighborhood or (depending on the location) church. Average Jane isn’t usually running around with Abercrombie models. Online you have skewed numbers so women can choose the hottest guys.

jonrah69 · 2022-01-30T19:39:24+00:00

Not really answering your question but i feel like i am one of the rare men who can get their looks match on online dating. I only use Hinge which is 10000000 times better than Tinder for men and have had good success. When looking at an objective rating subreddit like r/truerateme the rates i get are similar to women who i could get online dating. I advise ditching Tinder and using hinge if you are a guy

nedinator3000 · 2022-01-30T22:15:27+00:00

Women have more options to get laid. They don’t choose relationships. We do.

M3taBuster · 2022-01-30T23:06:07+00:00

It's quite simple, actually. Gender ratio is basically 1:1 IRL, women even slightly outnumbering men in some areas, whereas it's over 2:1 (men:women) on Tinder and probably similar on other apps.

subscribe20pewdiepie · 2022-01-31T00:26:16+00:00

That’s because once they’re in a relationships both people become lazy and fat, they could’ve been hot before.

supercreativenamelol · 2022-01-30T15:23:22+00:00

Most couples I've seen are looksmatched too, and I know three couples that met through OLD (not Tinder) who are all currently married and they're all looksmatched.

cowfishAreReal · 2022-01-30T15:50:28+00:00

Because in those apps there are significantly more men than woman, while in real life there's about the same amount. And market laws dictate if you have less offer of something it's more valuable. That's why woman have more options in OLD.

I see couples who often times are bascially "looksmatched". An overweight women is likely dating an overweight man. An attractive man is usually with an attractive woman and so forth

Yeah that's usually how it goes in life unless one of then has something special that "compensates" for the lack of looks

Secret_Preparation99 · 2022-01-30T15:51:42+00:00

Most couples are looks matched. A woman being able to hook up with a hot guy online doesn’t equate to her getting him to commit. Also, the vast majority of marriages do not come from online meetings. Yes, you will see data that says many “relationships” come from apps but relationship is a vast term.

gimpgirl555 · 2022-01-30T15:42:25+00:00

Where is the disconnect im seeing?

Af/bb. Women settle with their looksmatch because he will pay for them.

Women know that a guy above their league isn't going to stay.

Fantom1992 · 2022-01-30T15:12:23+00:00

Nowhere near as many relationships are made off tinder. Because women go for the top 10% of men on tinder they can never keep them. Because those guys have too many options to settle. The couples you’re talking about likely didn’t meet OLD.

Smitten_Squire · 2022-01-30T17:54:52+00:00

Because the good looking guys only want one thing

wtknight · 2022-01-30T15:22:45+00:00

Women have a lot of options for sex, indicative by dating apps. Average women don't have as many for relationships, though, even though some women like to claim in moments of female empowerment that there are a lot of good men out there. But really, in women's eyes, there aren't. A huge portion of the men are out of their league and don't want them for a relationship but only sex, and there is another huge portion that is just not attractive to them.

Over_North8884 · 2022-01-30T16:10:05+00:00

Women gatekeep sex, men gatekeep relationships.

Lucian-Salop · 2022-01-30T16:54:36+00:00

The disconnect is because very few women seriously use OLD apps for dating, and in a lot of those OLD figures platforms like FB, IG and Snapchat are considered OLD apps rather than their own category. These women get far more action in their DMs on those, than they do in OLD apps themselves.

In real life, most people date and have relationships with people they have things in common with.

edwardpuppyhands · 2022-01-30T16:55:11+00:00

Because that OLD interest disparity is solely due to men having a way higher interest in CASUAL romance only. Gay men get many more OLD messages than gay women from those of their own gender, for instance. Men's interest in LTRs is actually about slightly less than women's.

logiauser · 2022-01-30T18:15:43+00:00

Depends on how old they are. Dating apps are relatively new.

Also not all women are crazy. Many find a decent guy and exit the market.

sarkington · 2022-01-30T18:41:33+00:00

Apps are for making someone else money. Do people not know this ?

SupermarketFun21 · 2022-01-30T19:49:31+00:00

Many of those couples didn't go around looking for someone to date; they just knew each other, maybe as early as college or even high school, and the relationship grew organically. In these cases, the woman's market power to pull men out of her league was never realized.

OLD can also produce looksmatched couples. Once in a while, due to very high idiosyncratic compatibility, a woman will happen to choose a man who's on her own level, despite the flood of messages from 'Chads.' When a woman does choose such a man, he is almost always happy to commit, whereas the flood of Chads would've used her for easy sex.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2022-01-30T21:31:43+00:00

If women truly had so many sex options, no one would ever complain about not being able to find a guy. The reality is that dick is abundant and easy to come across (so is vagina). But dick that can actually arouse a woman properly is rarer than a Snow leopard.

totalwpierdol · 2022-01-30T22:22:10+00:00

Sometimes I even see mediocre looking men with really hot girls

AdHistorical9496 · 2022-01-30T23:46:36+00:00

Part of it could be they didn't always look like that. If you look at some couple in a 10-year relationship, what did they each look like when they started dating.

the-lone-squid · 2022-01-31T00:04:00+00:00

I heard on a YouTube video that men rate 2-5 points higher IRL then in pics. And the opposite was true for chicks.

foodforless · 2022-01-31T02:26:00+00:00

Tbh this is exactly why I take everything I read on here with a very small grain of salt. I read something on here, then think about my real life experiences and say “yeah that makes no sense”

Gigamon2014 · 2022-01-31T13:10:29+00:00

OLD couples are pretty looksmatched themselves. I have no idea why people keep arguing about this when Tinder has made it clear for years that they have a "desirability" score and that they match individuals dependent upon it.

RealNiceLady · 2022-02-10T17:05:38+00:00

On OLD, men are looking for sex, but not real dating, so they lower their standards. IRL men only pursue and are only accepted by their true match.

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pearllovespink · 2022-01-30T21:32:34+00:00

Because people actually meet each other in real life and date instead of swipes on an app. There’s a difference. The guy I turned down on Tinder might be able to charm me in person. It’s better to meet women in person if you’re average. Show your personality off a little.

Title	Does anyone know why there's a disconnect between OLD apps and real-life couples?
Author	AFOQTNewbie
Upvotes	53
Comments	139
Date	January 30, 2022 3:09 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sgb5a4/does_anyone_know_why_theres_a_disconnect_between/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-anyone-know-why-theres-a-disconnect-between.1098913 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098913

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