Women, Sex, and Attraction

wtknight · 2022-05-27T14:54:13+00:00

Re-flaired as CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-05-27T13:49:38+00:00

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King-SAMO · 2022-05-27T15:08:48+00:00

The study is specifically about birth control and extrapolates that to saying women are riskier in terms of unprotected sex with men whose offspring they’d want to have. I don’t know if you can extend that to stuff like anal or other acts.

creekcrystall · 2022-05-28T05:55:07+00:00

Absolutely. Which is why I tell women if he bought his ex a car, gave her money all the time and took her out to dinners but only wants to buy you water and take you out to cheap dates, if any at all , he doesn’t really like you. Block, delete him!

Don’t listen to that BS about how “he felt used and learned his lesson”… nope, he did that for a woman he really likes. He doesn’t really like YOU!

athlete2biz · 2022-05-27T15:01:24+00:00

this reminds me of my friend who dated this girl for 2 years in university, she apparently never gave him a blowjob, not once. she "didnt like giving them"

shortly after breaking up, she has a one night stand with a pro athlete and bragged to her friends about how in the morning she just gave him a 30 minute bj to start his day off right,

poor guy, he is a chad too, but the pro athlete is a super chad

cowfishAreReal · 2022-05-27T13:46:56+00:00

I don't think you understood the study correctly. By risky sexual behaviors they mean specifically behavior that could cause a pregnancy, not the "different" or "special" things most partners would ask for.

GlowingAsItDazzles · 2022-05-27T13:47:49+00:00

what no one alive can understand is...why are you accepting less adventurous sex from ANY woman and marrying it or LTRing it in some serious way if adventurous sex is what you want, IRRESPECTIVE of what she did or didnt do with other men. this is the part no sane people can fathom. you do not have to do that. bang her for a while and dump her. no one can comprehend the idea that youre accepting tepid vanilla crappy sex because you think "hey well at least she never did anything with anyone else EITHER", it is a baffling thought process to most people, most people think "im not getting what *I* want", not "hey at least she didnt give what i want to anyone else either"

Ylduts · 2022-05-27T14:36:23+00:00

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jah-roole · 2022-05-27T19:51:01+00:00

Sexual attraction is as elusive a topic as “the answer to life, the universe and everything”.

I believe that once you establish a mutual attraction with a partner so that a choice in one’s favor can be made, it is up to the couple and their dynamic to be sexually adventurous. To put it simply, if your girl doesn’t give you sloppy blowjobs in the dressing room, you’re probably not creating sexually charged situations in the department store or what leads up to you being there. You don’t have to be but you have to become the man she wants to do this with.

I do this by constantly creating sexual situations, insinuating sex through fun and laughter, making her feel sexy and desired. Lots of daily little reminders and insinuations. If I want sex, I’m buttering you up days in advance, not the moment when my dick out of nowhere won’t go down. With time you just simply do it all the time because it’s fun, funny, the atmosphere is upbeat, she’s wearing this hot lingerie that arrived the other day from atelier bordelle, feeling hot AF and so of course she’d love suck your dick in the dressing room after a glass of Prosecco.

On the other hand if you’re moping about your place in the tired, old, greyed out, loose at the legs tidy whities with a tshirt you had since high school. Hair not washed since last Tuesday, smelling like French fries and bringing minimum wage, yeah, she’ll probably be somewhat reluctant to go near these balls because she probably has bigger problems to worry about.

Lysa_Bell · 2022-05-27T13:48:22+00:00

Imagine you do something with your gf that she really wants and you've never done before. Idk like pegging or something. Imagine you don't know if you'll like it or not but your gf seems super into it. So why not? So you get pegged by your gf and you absolutely hate it. You try to get into it because she is so into it but you feel terrible afterwards about it. You hated the whole experience. Your gf says she wants to continue to do that. You don't. Resentment builds. Maybe the relationship dies. You meet a new woman and you click super well and then she asks you if you guys could try pegging because she has never done it. And you instantly feel sick just thinking about doing that again.

Conclusion = you aren't into your new gf

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-05-27T15:37:48+00:00

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sangenyx · 2022-05-27T14:26:17+00:00

What if she’s only only had sex with 1 previous partner ? It’s not possible to measure because lack of experience..

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-05-27T13:51:12+00:00

Risky =/= deviant.

ATasteofTx214 · 2022-05-27T20:20:11+00:00

Many men are given a hard time for being upset when they learn their SO did things sexually for previous partners but won’t do those same things for them

Which is just gaslighting.

Women in such cases are using the guys and just dont want to admit it. Thats why they come up with the shaming.

If they are really attracted to you, they cant have their hands off of you.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-05-27T14:31:09+00:00

Don't guys do this too? Do you want to do the exact same stuff with every girlfriend, or do some things work better with some than others? I don't think it means one is trash and the other is ideal, because you may be into different things with each.

2022-05-27T19:00:39+00:00

It's funny because I did anal with my ex GF and I don't want to do it again. I have a big ick about butt sex now and often wonder why I even did that.

I won't even bother to ask for it with my next relationship partner and I doubt it will come up because it's usually the guy who wants to try it anyway.

I do think that most people experiment more in their first relationships simply because it's new and they try more taboo stuff.

wtknight · 2022-05-27T14:58:55+00:00

I’ve never experienced a relationship where a woman is wasn’t enthusiastic for sex. Does this really happen to some guys?

I really think that just because a woman tried something once and didn’t like it with a previous guy doesn’t mean that she’s not hot for a new guy, especially if she’s doing other new things with that new guy that she hasn’t tried yet. Now on the other hand, if she was routinely doing something in the past that she doesn’t want to do anymore, that’s a different story.

downvote_to_feed_me · 2022-05-27T15:49:08+00:00

Best to just stay away from hoes altogether. These people only settle down when they don't care about your attractiveness to begin with because they're primarily looking for a stable bank account.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-05-27T15:48:15+00:00

Interestingly more women than men engage in risky sexual behaviors overall. Like sure the whole attractive person thing but also overall. I can find the study...

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.newsweek.com/women-resist-condom-use-well-stis-696752%3famp=1

Pilling_it · 2022-05-27T16:39:29+00:00

Many men are given a hard time for being upset when they learn their SO did things sexually for previous partners but won’t do those same things for them.

Playing devil's advocate on a specific point : if someone tried something and didn't like it, that's stupid.

If she was enthusiastic and you're now the mr right, have some self respect and leave.

I’ve been a firm believer that in most of those cases the women are less attracted to the current partner sexually.

Classic thing : the attractiveness of who you bag and who you bang won't be the same for a women. Been solved for a while. And even more if you don't want a douchebag.

I understand that in some of those scenarios the person tried something and didn’t like it, but in general I think this is a good barometer to evaluate the attraction level a women has for you.

Pretty much what I said. You can't fake desire anyways.

If she gave the A OK before but you get the NO it’s likely you are being settled for.

Yeah? All of that is nothing new though. Same way the wildest girl you'll find have poor odds of being a good homemaker.

What the link says though, is pretty much the "rules" go through the windows when the dude is attractive enough. Again, nothing new. I'm not sure what you want to discuss?

Ylduts · 2022-05-27T18:59:39+00:00

From the article:

Sexual risk-taking is a common phenomenon, with women reporting greater willingness to risk pregnancy with physically attractive men, and men who show commitment, good financial prospects, as well as moderate to high social status.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-05-28T03:33:50+00:00

Of course this makes perfect sense, he turned her on more. This is why asking for a play by play is a bad idea , no matter what she states your male ego will always hurt.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-05-27T16:57:13+00:00

This study is talking about risking pregnancy, not more adventurous/painful/unpleasant sexual behaviors. In other words, the quality of your genes may influence how much she wants to have your kids or not. I wouldn’t run too far with this either, but it does make some sense from an evolutionary perspective.

But this isn’t “she won’t do ass to mouth with me while I choke her while hanging from a trapeze, but I’m just SURE she did with Chad back in college!” First of all, you probably don’t know what she did or didn’t do with other people, this isn’t something most people talk about. Making that assumption could be very wrong. Second of all, if she has done it and doesn’t want to do it again, she clearly didn’t like it that much. You might want to take a moment to consider why you want someone you’re supposed to love to do something they find painful, gross, or unpleasant. You also may want to think about how the porn you started watching at 12 may have influenced your perceptions of what are mutually pleasurable sexual behaviors.

Sometimes very young women will do things they don’t want to because they don’t feel like they can say no. It’s probably not that she was more attracted to her high school boyfriend, but that in high school, she didn’t have the confidence to tell him “no” because she was afraid she’d no longer have a boyfriend, the horror! As an adult, she realizes she doesn’t have to do anything, and thinks the man she married is mature enough and loves her enough to respect her boundaries. Now if she’s just not very interested in sex with you at all, that’s a better indicator she may not be that into you.

toasterchild · 2022-05-27T13:47:47+00:00

So then what are unattractive people supposed to do? Just commit suicide? She still likes you plenty enough to get into a committed relationship with you but you're going to blow it up because you think she found somebody else more attractive once? What if they were more attractive but a total fucking idiot so she ditched him?

Do you really think you are likely to be the most attractive person your partner has ever known? Is your ego so fragile that you can't handle not being your partners number one rank in everything? What if you are the overall best package? What is so bad about that?

Ok-Map-7596 · 2022-05-27T14:50:52+00:00

Women don't owe men any consistency when it comes to sex though?

That's like expecting a man to wife up a single mom or a sex worker because he was married to another woman in the past.

TopPoint431 · 2022-05-27T15:50:13+00:00

Woman make rules for betas, and break rules for alphas, sounds about right ✅️

Ylduts · 2022-05-27T16:17:37+00:00

Eh, there's stuff I did with other guys that I never did with my husband because he's not into them. There's also stuff I've done with my husband that I've never done with anyone else.

ProfessorFelix0812 · 2022-05-27T18:50:49+00:00

If you did anal with the last guy, and you don’t want to do anal with the new guy, keep your mouth shut about doing anal with the last guy…

midwesternMD · 2022-05-27T20:40:45+00:00

Agree with the big picture, disagree with your interpretation.

It’s pretty common sense that if someone is hot, you’re willing to do more for/with them. People do all sorts of dumb shit in the name of chasing a hottie. Men and women both. Big woop that there’s an article that confirms this.

Where I take issue is the sentiment of “if she did xyz before, but says no to you, you’re being settled for”.

Likely being settled for, as you word it in the OP, is something I would probably agree with.

But as people are discussing it as a definitive being settled for, I would disagree.

There are plenty of reasons for someone to not want to do a particular sexual act/etc anymore. It’s not strictly about attraction.

meteorness123 · 2022-05-27T16:33:16+00:00

There's oral sex and penetration. Most people participate in these practices with more variance with oral sex.

What kinky, crazy sex acts are you guys talking about that are seemingly hidden in a safe ? Is there some ancient sexual practices that only the luckiest among us eill discover in our life time ?

daddysgotanew · 2022-05-27T20:11:25+00:00

I agree. Most women I get with are just placeholders for me until I find some other shiny object I like more anyway, to be fair. But yea, as soon as I hear “I don’t do that” or “I’m not like that anymore” it definitely speeds the clock up LOL.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-05-27T22:45:17+00:00

I think its more on the side she really didn't like it and doesn't want to do it again. I just dont buy all these women are with men they are not attracted to. They are a minority.

SeaSquirrel · 2022-05-27T23:07:07+00:00

Oh this study again.

No one read the fucking study, its about pregnancy riskiness.

-Ivar-TheBoneless · 2022-05-27T13:40:01+00:00

It's happened to me before I'm not going to lie. I just made sure not to stay with those bitches. If they liked the other guy so much more they can stay with him.

decoy88 · 2022-05-27T14:06:00+00:00

This is a reductionist perspective. Could it mean that she’s less sexually attracted? Sure. Is that the ONLY possible reason? No.

but in general I think this is a good barometer to evaluate the attraction level a women has for you.

A better barometer is if she is engaging sexually with you to a satisfactory level. All worries outside of this is a man letting his insecurity and fear of inadequacy take over and poison the relationship.

If she gave the A OK before but you get the NO it’s likely you are being settled for.

Overly simplistic and often incorrect. This is a fear-driven, comparison-riddled conclusion.

Yummylicky23 · 2022-05-27T15:01:31+00:00

This sub has an obsession with settling

Are there really that many relationships in your life where people settled??? Also if you can’t trust your bf/gf to be with you bc they love you but instead they’re settling, maybe you shouldn’t date

Ylduts · 2022-05-27T13:38:48+00:00

Lots of people do wild things while they're young that they no longer want to do once they grow up

2022-05-27T17:32:30+00:00

I mean if I found out my ex went down on past partners but not me due to attraction I would immediately dump them. I wouldn’t try to force them to go down on me out of guilt. That’s rapey.

RahLyt · 2022-05-27T16:34:36+00:00

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SoftAd6291 · 2022-05-27T17:32:27+00:00

I do anal with my current partner but I don’t think I would want to in the future with anther partner. It’s a lot for my body, I’m young right now so it’s ok but def wouldn’t want to down the line

badsign12 · 2022-05-27T21:14:27+00:00

If I'm happy with my sex life, I'm happy. If I'm happy then most of what I want and likely all that I really need is happening, so if I learned that there was some marginal something I like that we're not doing that she did with some other guy, I'd pout and stop having the good and satisfying sex to prove a point. Or no, I wouldn't do that. Why would anyone? I'm happy, so I'm good to go.

Now that's predicated on me being happy and feeling good about the sex I'm having. If I'm not happy for some reason other than a temporary one, then I'm not likely to stich around anyway whatever was going on in her past.

So this discussion of what it means that she was a 9 on the wildness scale with the last guy and she's a 4 with you seems like a straw man. If you're happy with 4, you're happy. If you're not, you're not and you make the grown up choice to move on.

AelfredRex · 2022-05-27T22:14:33+00:00

You guys just come up with dumb excuses to not like women.

-passepar2t- · 2022-05-27T13:44:48+00:00

At this point, it's safe to assume that every woman you've dated did at least some weird slutty shit with past partners. The answer is yes. Picture it, accept it, stop agonizing.

I prefer not to think about her old boyfriends. Instead, I go by whether she wants to do the weird slutty shit with me personally. The kind of weird slutty shit that I like. I couldn't care less about the other stuff.

Ylduts · 2022-05-27T15:14:40+00:00

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Pilling_it · 2022-05-27T13:47:52+00:00

It’s like a pride thing. Andrew Schulz mentions it in one of his bits that men want to feel uniquely endowed in their relationship. So if he finds out you did anal with your previous partner, that means he has to do it too even if he didn’t want to do anal before hearing that information.

2022-05-28T02:01:41+00:00

faxx. if she won't do the same, then it's a red flag that she doesn't value you like her ex.

2022-05-27T14:38:24+00:00

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NewWayNow · 2022-05-27T13:54:20+00:00

won’t do those same things for them

I've always wondered: What are these "things" that people talk about? Anal? Oral? Bondage? Urinating on each other?

Many women will have tried anal and not liked it, and that is understandable. Bondage isn't my thing, so I'll be delighted if she doesn't want to do that with me.

I tend to believe that many times, blow jobs are the true topic at hand. She might do them readily for a guy she's attracted to, and not so much for Billy Beta.

MeanCow6 · 2022-05-27T14:55:41+00:00

Ladies, if a man insists you perform an unwanted sex act with him simply because you've done it before, he not only has a rapist's mentality, he doesn't really like you. He wants to pressure you to do something against your will because he feels entitled to your body. He only sees you as life support for a collection of warm holes. Dump him fast and hard!

sarkington · 2022-05-27T15:57:45+00:00

Aren’t men the ones who are known to blame their thirst for their actions?

baresquad · 2022-05-27T14:49:03+00:00

What’s up with the obsession with wanting boyfriends to feel settled for?

If she’s attracted enough to you to be in a relationship with you, she’s attracted to you enough to fuck you. Just because she may not like anal and may have experimented with it in the past doesn’t mean she’s attracted to you any less

We gotta stop this weird misery loves company shit. Men in relationships shouldn’t have to question their security because you guys feign to push the victim complex, give it a rest

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2022-05-28T20:43:29+00:00

Jesus men on this sub are so paranoid about everything. Why are you so entitled to everything a woman does? “If she gave a OK but you’re getting NO then you’re being settled for” such a disgusting way to think about another person

Title	Women, Sex, and Attraction
Author	Ylduts
Upvotes	142
Comments	451
Date	May 27, 2022 1:34 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/uyydch/women_sex_and_attraction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-sex-and-attraction.1118414 https://theredarchive.com/post/1118414

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