Blowjob Barometer

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-04-15T11:33:02+00:00

If she not tryna blow you anymore or it seems like a chore it’s over

blissfulbreaths · 2022-04-15T10:15:38+00:00

As a female, yes. I am quite enthusiastic in that department - as in I love giving them and I will do so unsolicited frequently. But, there’s nothing worse than the feeling of being less than enthused due to emotional undercurrents and then forcing myself to do it anyway. When I’m upset, I do not want your dick in my mouth. I don’t want to give when I feel like my needs are not being met. So, if the relationship is declining, it’s likely due to some level of that. If I ever stop giving my SO bj’s, something is up (barring any unforeseen medical circumstances or any other extremely unlikely extenuating scenarios).

Pastelitomaracucho · 2022-04-15T09:17:24+00:00

> Is it a good metric to judge the health of a relationship?

One of many I would say.

Giving oral is a completely selfless act. You don't get sexually stimulated from giving oral, so your enjoyment needs to come from seeing the other person enjoy what you are doing. To be happy that other person is happy is to care. So it is easy to tell when the other person does not care.

AtTheEnd777 · 2022-04-15T15:34:37+00:00

As a woman, I can agree with this. I'm super into pleasing my partner. If I stop, there are 3 possible reasons:

His hygiene sucks.
He's not returning the favor often enough or well enough.
He's consistently getting on my nerves to the point where I do not want to be touched.

Those are all serious problems that I'm not willing to push past if there's not an immediate and consistent turn-around.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2022-04-15T10:41:06+00:00

Holy shit I forgot what those felt like. Smh

Ylduts · 2022-04-15T10:26:09+00:00

I'm female, you might be on to something there lol

MaliciousMack · 2022-04-15T16:24:48+00:00

It can be if that’s part of your normal routine. Changes without any warning are usually the first sign something is up. But it isn’t gospel

avoriure · 2022-04-15T11:41:06+00:00

as a woman, it’s true. i get really excited when i think about doing it to someone i like and am extremely attracted to. there was this one guy i dated that i wanted to give one to every 5 minutes because i liked him so much

the thought was a lot less appealing with guys i wasn’t as attracted to or didn’t like as much. i still would do it because i think it’s fun but probably not as often with someone less attractive

mumblebumblegrumble · 2022-04-15T18:25:03+00:00

I consider the BJ a romantic gesture, not something I do because I'm soooo hot for him I just gotta have it in my mouth because it does nothing for me. It's something I do because I'm moved by the romantic gestures he does for me.

I've stopped doing bj's for a partner before because he stopped romantic gestures for me while I kept giving bj's and even when I talked to him about it he changed nothing so I stopped the bj's because I was getting bitter about it and feeling like he's getting everything he wanted out of the relationship while I did not.

Mondholm · 2022-04-15T08:55:10+00:00

i mean, sinking attraction levels show symptons all over the place. sexual activity for sure, but also general interest, quality activities, quality conversation. everything's reduced massively if the attraction sinks.

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2022-04-15T09:34:47+00:00

On this one, I gotta say, it goes both ways. Blowjobs and pussy eating would fall off as attraction and sexual intensity wanes.

I’ve had exceptions to this, but those were really Throat Warrior types that really loved to do it.

Returnofthemack3 · 2022-04-15T09:47:19+00:00

People will argue no but yeah, it def is. Every guy I know that complains of a lack of blow jobs as their relationship wanes on have let themselves go or the girls have become bored. It's always clear as day that the women who deny them BJ's have lost attraction.

RecoveringFuckup · 2022-04-15T16:04:40+00:00

I’ve been in a relationship for about a year and a half and she is just not a fan of giving blowjobs. She says it hurts her mouth and jaw and honestly she can only take like 2.5 maaaybe 3 inches before she starts having a gagging fit. Recently she’s been trying to do it more often to make me feel like she appreciates me but I feel like I miss genuine enthusiasm for a woman to do it to me because she wants to

ConsultJimMoriarty · 2022-04-15T21:58:34+00:00

I just hate guys who pester for blow jobs constantly and don't return the favour, or on the rare times they do, complain about their jaw hurting and have no enthusiasm.

Bornagainvurgin24 · 2022-04-15T16:00:21+00:00

I would agree with this whole heartedly. They don't really happen or occur with enthusiasm if the girl's not really into the relationship. Yeah, I agree 100%

Taitaifufu · 2022-04-15T16:55:52+00:00

I think This is one of two ways and sometimes either with the same person For me and also my friends my friends from what I’ve heard .. it’s either very bad or very good sign (baring those outlier ppl who hate or love this full stop)

either you do this because you are so not wanting to be with this person that you just want them to get off your back so you do this hoping that they’re going to roll over and leave you alone long enough for you to get the fuck out figuratively or literally or both or you are super into this person then you just want to keep them happy at all times

but I don’t know if it’s that great of a parameter because there are there also a lot of people who Have very strong feelings about this because of bad experiences are just they just really don’t like doing this so it’s not always the best parameter unless of course you know the person quite well and then you can gauge it better bc you’ll be able to tell more where their baseline is and deviation from the baseline could tell you something

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-04-15T19:30:33+00:00

Hmmm. Interesting position. In my experience FREQUENCY and ENTHUSIASM of sex overall is more important than BJs.

I'm not equipped to enjoy BJs much in general (scrapage 😬) so I never ask for them or anything. My ex didn't give me many because I didn't care. Yet the frequency of sex was good for the first year and a half or so and then as it started dying off that's when I noticed problems arising.

I think for someone who LOVES bjs and requires them in a ltr then yeah, that's a decent barometer

TesticalDefibrillate · 2022-04-15T20:57:46+00:00

Yes. To extrapolate even further, enthusiasm for pleasing your man extends to things like swallowing cum or salad tossing.

The only time I've ever had a woman eat my ass, was by the woman who volunteered to do it, and also blurted out once "You're like an eleven out of ten."

When a woman is truly attracted to you, she'll work as hard as your average simp to attain you.

Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

SignalThanks6766 · 2022-04-15T10:16:44+00:00

This post has made me want to go give my partner a blowjob to let him know he’s appreciated but he has covid and is not feeling particularly horny at the minute. God damn it.

doyoulikemywood · 2022-04-15T16:02:18+00:00

Do you feel that giving oral to the woman is the same? Aka is this a two way street?

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-04-15T11:50:03+00:00

To a degree but there are also other issues that could have your partner being less sexual.

Hormones stress tiredness to name just a few.

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-04-15T13:42:21+00:00

Blowjobs do absolutely nothing for me and I’m up front about that.

However all of my exes have tried to “prove” themselves anyways and still wanted to change my mind about them. If that’s not true love then idk what is

januaryphilosopher · 2022-04-15T08:52:55+00:00

General sexual enthusiasm could be a good one, but it's weird to restrict that to a particular sexual act that both partners might not like. Otherwise you might just be measuring whether she has an oral kink or finds it rather uncomfortable.

OkWhile66 · 2022-04-15T14:01:45+00:00

Yeah, I'd say this is a pretty good barometer. I can certainly say as the blow jobs went down the relationship was going too. At the start when it was great? Blow jobs for just taking her out for dinner on the drive back, or while watching TV, or really whenever. When the relationship had settled? Only during sex, and then rarely to finish. After marriage? Never

Orange_Paisley · 2022-04-15T14:53:19+00:00

I'd say that's a good one. When I'm feeling loved and our relationship is going well, I'll volunteer them. When I'm annoyed or when our relationship is feeling a wee rocky (which does happen occasionally), he will ask and I will not feel like making him happy. Of course, that could also mean I am tired, very stoned, or had a bad day at work so it's not perfect.

redder_man · 2022-04-15T15:12:22+00:00

What if she’s never brought up or offered to give you a blowjob from the start but she initiated sex and seems to enjoys it. We haven’t had sex in a while but that may be due to our inconvenient living situations, our hectic schedules and getting sick. She said she’s very attracted to me when I confronted her. I wonder if I should just not have sex with her and see how long it takes her to initiate.

LotBuilder · 2022-04-15T17:58:58+00:00

Accurate, you can know exactly how woman feels about you based on the frequency and intensity/enthusiasm of their kissing and BJ’s. If you are getting fewer and less enthusiastic… it’s a bad sign.

one-anus-grab-away · 2022-04-15T18:23:56+00:00

Blowjob is a good barometer. I’ve never wanted to more than with my current boyfriend. I like him a lot lol

OneComfortable3508 · 2022-04-15T20:33:55+00:00

You know she’s into you when she’s into that. I think there is something to be said about this. I’m sure it wanes in the long run over time though even if things are good.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-04-15T21:38:09+00:00

For the most part, assuming both people have at least an average level of interest in blowjobs to start with. However, sexual desire (including bjs) is always going to cool off to some extent with time, and that doesn’t mean there’s a problem. So sometimes it can be hard to tell if the relationship is just naturally progressing or if there’s something wrong. Any sudden drop-offs are a red flag, though.

_Zer0_Cool_ · 2022-04-15T10:52:49+00:00

Well, I’m a dude and I don’t particularly care for blow jobs and never have, so not something I’ve ever paid attention to.

But not all women care for blow jobs, some of them might just do it early on in the relationship but stop once they are comfortable enough with you to be honest about it.

P.S. Physical Attractiveness always wanes in relationships after a while. So hopefully, that’s not the only thing that a relationship stands on.

drunk_uncle_ · 2022-04-15T09:00:04+00:00

That sounds pretty accurate

123_alleyesonme6 · 2022-04-15T10:22:54+00:00

Not just Blowjobs, if ppl are attracted to you they are more willing to fuck you and more eager to please you...thats just a no brainer

RealNiceLady · 2022-04-15T16:10:25+00:00

Blowjobs are a sex act to be avoided no matter what. I would only do them to keep the peace.

2022-04-15T19:45:09+00:00

There's a video I can't find right now of female podcasters who are saying that giving blowjobs to their husbands is disgusting because husbands are like family and blowjobs are dirty and are for fuck friends and smutty time.

It was eye opening.

Look, it's obvious women see sex as something meant for bad boys. As naughty behavior part of some malicious social game that their instincts have set them up to try and do well in.

That's fine. Ladies, you do you. But do not expect us to marry or commit to you anymore. It will work while it works. And if you stop giving us blowjobs we might find that we have a million more things to do with our time than spend it on you. We have our rights too, and most of you are not that interesting.

I wish women could feel sexually attracted to a man because he's loving and kind, because it's proven that even bad men feel attracted to women for those qualities. But women just don't. It's not how they're built. Not even their fault.

But sorry, it means that women aren't suitable for long term commitment. If your husband can't get a blowjob because it's "dirty". If you'll fuck a guy in a one night stand and barely even be affected by it, but won't fuck "boyfriend material" before the 10th date because sex is so precious and emotional and a big deal (unless it's with a fuckboi), then you know what? Forget it.

Stupid game, stupid prizes.

I agree with the premise though. If she can't put decent effort into a basic blowjob, I'm not committing for shit. And yes, I'd "return the favor". But I know women who even think THAT is gross.

Chemical-Ad3703 · 2022-04-15T10:25:10+00:00

My enthusiasm has more to do with how I fulfilled and content I am with my partner. I don't even ask for much.. it's the small things. If they can't bother with the little details.. I have 0 motivation or enthusiasm for a blowjob.

decoy88 · 2022-04-15T11:22:06+00:00

I’ve noticed throughout my 25 years of dating that enthusiasm for blowjobs tend to correlate with the attraction level of women towards me

I have noticed the exact same thing!

funlightmandarin · 2022-04-15T13:56:59+00:00

Could be a metric for trying to flirt and charm the other. Naturally as a relationship progresses a man might stop taking the woman on dates and making her feel desirable. A woman might stop giving blowjobs.

Not feeling desirable can lead to relationship issues, yes. When you stop flirting with them you're also not showing them how desirable you find them, so desirable you're happy to do X action.

Relationships are work for a reason. Gotta water that grass, and many issues stem from the fact that you get a bit lazy and take them for granted.

spicysaucegood · 2022-04-15T17:17:00+00:00

Sometimes it's just nice to please your partner, and that's all there is to it. I would see it as more of a statement about how much she cares about him. No doubt being attracted to him is what initiates her involvement with him in the first place. I would never blow someone I'm not attracted to because I would never date someone I'm not attracted to. But if I blow you take it as a sign I'm feeling generous and horny and happy to be with you, in spite of your weight gain or bad smell.

jmooremcc · 2022-04-15T20:10:03+00:00

Are there situations in which a woman, who still loves her man, has good reasons for refusing to give him a blowjob?

For example, if a women is in a relationship with a man who has a low libido and has learned the hard way (pun intended) that giving him a blow job means it will be a long time before he's able to have sexual intercourse with her, can you blame her for not giving blowjobs? Rather than deprive herself of sexual fulfillment, she's choosing to save his juice for her own needs.

In this case, blowjobs would not be an accurate barometer.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-04-15T21:01:05+00:00

Is it a good metric

Only in context to the relationship. If your relationship is toxic, but you’re getting fire blowjobs daily; that a good thing?

Conversely personal choice is factor. I love giving head, but prefer PIV sex to blowjobs. So my partner and I prefer that kind of sex.

Ultimately though the best metric is Communication. Intimacy is achieved on numerous levels. Blowjobs, a minor factor.

Godspeed and good luck!

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-04-15T21:10:49+00:00

The most important factor (for me anyway), is whether or not I am eager to please and (wet) I am from that alone. Pleasing. Not the act of the BJ. If we are going to talk about any action, a better gauge is how eager and willing I am to take your cum. It is a need and not just part of the routine. When cum is a need, it is completely nothing but selflessly desire and hunger; and the most primal metric.

TodTheRod01 · 2022-04-15T21:40:48+00:00

Depends.

A LOT of women say they love giving head...and almost ALL think they are good.

Yet most are just avg and dont actually love it. If you love giving head...you do it unprompted, without the guy asking, and to completion more then once a month.

So there are small % who hate sucking cock, small % who truly love sucking cock...and majority who do it because its expected or cuz they want to ensure guy goes down on them.

If a chick is in the ewww sucking dick category...liking you/being attracted...more than likely not going to change that

hhhhhhikkmvjjhj · 2022-04-16T00:53:11+00:00

I think this is supported by science. Going down on someone would naturally raise feelings of disgust. However when we are aroused our normal inhibitions gets muted down and we can do things we would never do in a normal setting with even a neutral person. When we no longer feel attraction or it’s lessened, that disgust goes back to normal.

A quick google search rendered this: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886919306543

lordofcin_2 · 2022-04-16T02:36:58+00:00

I dunno, I never really understood why everyone loves them, giving them however....

Kizka · 2022-04-16T20:34:52+00:00

I mean, you definitely should be attracted to the person whose genitals you put in your mouth, that should be a given. But I wouldn't say it's a barometer of how attracted the bj giver is to the bj receiver, just as you can be attracted to someone and not give him bjs. I would agree though that it can be a barometer of how healthy a relationship is as usually if a relationship is healthy, you'd want to please your partner, even if you don't get anything out of it at that moment. It's still some kind of chore though. It's not the hardest work out there but it IS work and sometimes you just can't be bothered, no matter how attractive you find your partner. I guarantee that there's no woman on the planet who wouldn't deny even Henry Cavill or Jason Momoa on some days.

123456789sl · 2022-04-18T20:00:01+00:00

I love my boyfriend. And he treats me very well. I let that man do absolutely anything he wants to me during sex. I go crazy during sex and my boyfriend has commented on my enthusiasm. I don’t know how it would be if he wasn’t so attractive and didn’t treat me well since I’ve only had sex with him. But I’m pretty sure my level of attraction to him correlates with how eager I am to please him in every manner. So yeah, I’d say it’s a good way to tell if things are going downhill. If she isn’t acting the same as she was before. If everything is right in a relationship the sex should be incredible imo.

But also I think some women just don’t like sucking dick and will initially pretend to like certain sex acts to impress the guy. Then later it’s that she doesn’t want to do it anymore since she knows the guy most likely will just deal with it. It’s pretty lame. I think it’s best just to outright say you hate them for whatever reason because I’d be pretty annoyed if my boyfriend had stopped giving me oral sex once we had been together for a while.

And also consider there are a lot of other circumstances which can lead to a lower sex drive. But generally it seems a good way to tell.

KirthWGersen · 2022-04-15T09:10:35+00:00

I have not noticed any such thing: decreased frequency of blowjobs could be for many good reasons (increased enjoyment of PIV, for example); and increased frequency of blowjobs could be for many bad reasons (I hope he doesn't notice I'm having an affair, for example).

If you want more blowjobs, talk about it.

SURPRISEMFKR · 2022-04-15T12:01:03+00:00

I only give great blowjobs at the start to hook them. Not doing that shit forever.

majani · 2022-04-15T12:43:33+00:00

In my experience oral sex is still very much a white liberal/city dweller thing. In other groups outside that it's not that common

toasterchild · 2022-04-15T13:31:34+00:00

I feel like if you can only tell your relationship is going bad by this metric you may have some issues with communication.

Mouse1701 · 2022-04-15T19:43:53+00:00

When women feel the relationship is not safe that's when they don't feel ok to have sex.

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mrlunes · 2022-04-15T13:01:05+00:00

I think i have to agree… i know there are exceptions like relationships with lower sexual desires/drives but i would say as a generalization, i agree

Reisiluu · 2022-04-15T17:37:03+00:00

It's hard to believe there are relationships where the man licks pussy every week and never gets a blow job. If the woman's enthusiasm for oral dies, I would bet money that she was getting it less frequently than him for a long time or never got any at all.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-04-15T18:12:16+00:00

As a woman, I'd say I've learned the opposite (not just blowjobs, but sex in general). So I think if I found out my guy thought this way, I'd leave him.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2022-04-15T18:43:34+00:00

Not really.

Too many variables.

Maybe she's not that into them but did it in the beginning to impress, secure, etc. the man.

Maybe she's way into them but the man isn't hygienic.

Maybe she's indifferent and just is taking a break.

Even changing the blowjob barometer to sex barometer fails.

I've never been in a relationship where she wanted it less than I did. I've been in several relationships with serious issues.

Sex is only an issue if sex is an issue. Great sex runs orthogonal to the relationship, bad sex dominates the relationship.

Mouse1701 · 2022-04-15T19:42:14+00:00

As a general rule women will stop or delay all sexual interactions,kissing holding hands, physical touch, hugging etc when they feel the relationship is not right. She also may quit sexy or intimate talk with you. So blowjob's are just the tip of the Perhaps she's on her period or it's stress full at work, your kid is not doing well in school, she feels overwhelmed of too many chores in the house, maybe shes cheating on you. It could be a number of things. It could be medical issues. Perhaps her cat died.

TigerIIiIy · 2022-04-15T22:13:11+00:00

Don’t get me started on anal !

mannequin_vxxn · 2022-04-15T22:23:36+00:00

Does the same go for you going down on her?

Title	Blowjob Barometer
Author	Ylduts
Upvotes	173
Comments	244
Date	April 15, 2022 8:36 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/u43j47/blowjob_barometer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/blowjob-barometer.1112594 https://theredarchive.com/post/1112594

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