Female promiscuity

YaKnowEstacado · 2022-08-13T19:23:14+00:00

Women release oxytocin after childbirth and when breastfeeding too. By this logic, mothers would bond less and less with every subsequent child after the first, and eventually be unable to bond with their children at all.

It would also seem to suggest that even a woman who's only had sex with one man would gradually lose her bond with him over time as she becomes more desensitized to oxytocin.

ExpensiveShoulder580 · 2022-08-13T19:33:52+00:00

I dislike promiscuity and I recognize that I just feel this way. I think all the explanations presented are post-hoc.

With regards to the oxytocin thing, I agree it does seem very simplistic, why is it that the woman only gets desensitized when switching partners instead of simply everytime she has sex even if it's with the same partner.

Kitchen_Apartment · 2022-08-13T20:37:23+00:00

It’s also worth noting oxytocin production is usually strongest at orgasm. It’s not like one night stands are known for successful female orgasms haha.

SoopaHott · 2022-08-13T19:18:08+00:00

Can anyone point me to any scientific studies that affirm the oxytocin desensitization theory?

No because there are no studies by actual scientists that affirm this foolery. You will find a lot of think pieces by mostly men who want to present a faux scientific reason why women should remain virgins forever lol

Fat_Papaya · 2022-08-13T21:12:23+00:00

But there are studies that show that higher n-count correlates with higher negative consequences such as reduced marital and sexual satisfaction, increased divorce and cheating rates, to name a few. Whether or not pair bonding is damaged is meaningless when the end result is a riskier partner regardless.

People can argue against this all they like, but at the end of the day the general trends remain fairly consistent and anyone with some semblance of common sense would acknowledge the importance of just the four examples I provided above.

I highly doubt, that anyone, especially women with their infamous hypergamy, would be comfortable taking a partner whose past almost guarantees that they are to be a greater risk than a more average person.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-08-13T20:13:17+00:00

It’s made up. None of it is based on science or reality.

GlowingAsItDazzles · 2022-08-13T19:22:15+00:00

i think this is a backformed explanation that attempts to "sciencify" why women who go through a lot of casual sex without actually ever meeting a bf get "jaded" or "hardened". its not because some magical ability to "pair bond" burns out, its self protection from getting hurt. normal women in the western urban SMP are able to have both hookups and find BFs and dont get this sort of jadedness, the losers do

vogel777 · 2022-08-13T20:07:42+00:00

It's bullshit, like all of the red pill mythology. It's far more likely that the same mental and emotional issues that may drive a woman to engage in promiscuous behaviour with a large number partners are also the same issues that later destabilise her long term relationships or marriage.

floodplain-bootsoles · 2022-08-13T21:13:13+00:00

it should really be an etiquette rule on this sub that female and male only be used as adjectives

crookedsummer2019 · 2022-08-13T20:01:36+00:00

The red pill perspective usually advises against any kind of pair bonding with women, yet seems hyper focused on a woman’s ability to pair bond.

‘I have zero intention of giving you what I expect you to give to me.’

But women are the entitled ones right :/.

funlightmandarin · 2022-08-13T22:17:10+00:00

her ability to experience that bond diminishes as the receptors become desensitized to the oxytocin that is released.

So how does her body differentiate between oxytocin released by any other mechanism? 😂 Like.. eating chocolate, petting dogs.

Like most redpill pseudoscience theories, it's bullshit.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-08-14T03:32:45+00:00

Do young dudes really want a woman to bond to them anymore ? Don't see to many guys going ohh darn she's not bonding with me. Geeze I was wanting to have a ton of babies with her .

All I see on reddits is how dudes don't want finacial responsibility of anything. Literally nothing, ( anti work ethic) Hell I think the majority of young men still living at home , have no clue about anything in the world. Why would any woman want a man like this ? Struggle love , maybe a good shag but to form a poverty attachment? I think they will pass , Logically

Willow-girl · 2022-08-14T00:54:13+00:00

Here are my thoughts on this matter, but first I want to say that I noticed how defensive women are here in this post and I don't understand, like even if this study exist who cares. It would mean if women want long-term relationship than it would be in their best interest to not engage in casual sex while if women want to participate in casual sex then they would understand the consequences of said actions. It's not about devaluing the person who engages in casual sex. This would be applicable to men too right, it's not a gendered thing as some men here proclaim it to be.

I have made a post about myself if y'all want to check it out as it describes my ideology regarding relationships which may be helpful to understand my position on this matter. As disclaimer it's not about gendering at all.

Here are my personal issues with hook up culture as a whole and how I think it might impact principal romantic culture. It does in obvious ways such as decoupling sex from romance and prolonging singlehood in adolescences. Normies don't really see a problem with this phenomena because they are more concerned with the ability or capacity to make a choice for oneself. To me they ignore the consequences of said choice on a social level and ignore the environmental conditions in which these choices are made. The reason why we cannot have a meaningful argument here is because of several things, we don't understand how each other's world view works, poor emotional regulation and emotional immaturity (I am guilty of this myself) , and unwillingness to hear the other perspective while jumping guns based on past conversations and interactions. I personally see the decoupling of sex from romance on a societal level to be harmful for romantics because it alienates sex from the comfort and security of a relationship and it will make it hard to enjoy sex. I know for me when I seperate sex from love to enjoy porn I feel sad and empty not shame or guilt but like lonliness. I have talk to women and men online who also had similar experiences as me. This won't affect hook up culture warriors or promiscuous people though. I also believe our desires and wants are shaped my social conditioning right so I think for people who want to seperate sex from romance is because society conditioned them to do this. I think prolonging single hood unnecessarily is bad because that's more time away from a romantic partner, I want to spend time with them as much as possible and truely enjoy my time with them before they die and all I have are memories. Normies I know how you love poking holes would say like oh man we are young and going to break up that age so why not wait till we are all older. My rebuttal to that is so what mate, if you break up not only will you learn from past mistakes but you built relationship skills you can use on the next relationship. You can't really learn much from a casual encounter. That's like saying you driving a Tesla for three minutes will prepare you for driving cars on the highway in future. But you will so but people need to experience variety to know what they really want. But I can say no they don't, me and some people even normies don't need to. Humans cannot see every color on the spectrum but it's really not hurting us anyway. Why worry about not experiencing something instead of being greatful for the things you have. Again if you want to personally have casual sex I don't see the problem, what I see as a problem is cultural pressure on romantics to sacrifice their value to engage in a promiscuous phase (notice I mentioned phase and not activity) in their adolescence and settling for romance when you are "mature enough"

Sidenote: regardless of gender I do have a folk theory that engaging in casual sex with the ideology of decoupling sex from romance can make you associate the act of leaving someone as pleasurable as part of association. We humans tend to associate things with other things and I don't have a good counter argument to this folk theory. I also think decoupling of sex from romance can have negative affects on some people especially romantics. Specifically I think that by sepersting sex from romance requires the suppression of the feelings of attachment because I noticed from blogs and articles they teach people how to suppress emotions and prevent catching feelings. I think I found an article that describes this sadness I spoke about earlier https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.newsweek.com/postcoital-dysphoria-condition-causing-sadness-and-crying-after-sex-affects-1047525%3famp=1

I also read stories of happy couples who met their spouse in highschool and even in middle school. I met high schooler with greater maturity than some redditers on here. So I do think principal romantics is a valid ideology that should not be eroded by hook up culture. I know emotionally immature people are going to dis me off from both sides of the pill but those who want to engage in meaningful conversation I applaud you.

2manyltrnmoths · 2022-08-13T19:26:32+00:00

I probably would have been considered promiscuous, maybe not by sex addict standards but I was definitely hypersexual. I would get a drug like high just from being entered. I actually had little interest in the O. And no the high it didn't diminish over time or with increased body count.

Not to sound like a fruit loop but it was almost like an energy exchange takes place at a spiritual level (if you believe in that kind of thing) and that was also addictive. And remained consistently intense.

I may not be typical of a hypersexual female though. Most women I've talked to about this are really focused on the guy giving her the O or multiple Os.

fruitycoolwhip · 2022-08-13T19:59:25+00:00

I’ll be honest i think everybody who has a lot of sexual partners eventually loses the ability to bond the way they could when they were inexperienced. Not just women. Sometimes it’s a good thing but i know that’s not what you’re talking about.

There are some datasets out there that get referenced a lot, the IFS articles that reference the University of Chicago surveys about marriage satisfaction, n-count, etc… I think it’s weird how many guys ignore the fact that men’s likelihood for marital satisfaction goes down with each addition to their n-count as well. Not as much as women’s but the correlation is undeniably there for both genders.

It’s one of those things that shouldn’t be a gendered issue because it applies to everybody but some people just like to blame the other gender so it turns into that.

Acaciduh · 2022-08-13T19:40:19+00:00

This shit again. The pair bond is so overplayed at this point and TRP reasoning behind it is wrong. Pair bonding is a biological phenomenon that persists in many different species and both genders. It also doesn’t happen with all humans. There are also different type of pair bonds, short term pair bonds, long term pair bonds, social pair bonds, etc. TRP just uses it to slut shame women while also trying to justify their own promiscuous behavior.

Promiscuity and it’s effects are going to vary from person to person because no shit humans are complex. One person could sex it up and then have no problem settling down later into a more monogamous lifestyle. Generally though sleeping with many people can have a negative effect on women and men because it displays a nature of lower inhibitions along with behaviors that can be inherently risky and then can be hard to pivot from in a LTR.

Willow-girl · 2022-08-13T23:40:53+00:00

If there are 146, chances are you being 147 and the last one is pretty slim, dontcha think?

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-08-14T03:38:35+00:00

Female promiscuity indicates insecure attachment style, and a Madonna-Whore dichotomy toward men - a psychological splitting between sex and intimacy. That's the science.

beautifultomatillo2 · 2022-08-13T19:24:22+00:00

Alot of casual sex is probably extremely bad for both men and women.

But the constant slut shaming and degrading language needs to stop. I know it won’t because slut shaming is just how men seem to bond with each other now

VastlyVainVanity · 2022-08-14T04:08:20+00:00

As far as I know, there are no scientific studies that prove that any of that "pair bonding due to sex" thing applies to humans.

It's like telegony (females passing onto their offspring genes from previous partners): something that exists in other animals, and disingenuous (or just ignorant) people contort it in a way that makes it seem like it also applies to humans.

Mind you, I think it's fine to be repulsed by female promiscuity. I myself do feel disgusted at promiscuous women, especially hyper-promiscuous women like sex workers et al. But there is no need to invent reasons to justify that disgust. I just find it gross. And people who don't like that that's how I feel can suck it, why would I care?

januaryphilosopher · 2022-08-13T19:44:38+00:00

Everyone experiences oxytocin release during sex. For context, it's also released when eating chocolate, so doesn't bond you to anything or make you enjoy it less. "Pair bonding" doesn't occur in humans but is experienced by certain birds, meaning they can only have sex with one other bird for life. Monogamy, though, is a choice that humans can make, and any of us can despite our partner count. Who's more likely to is another matter.

tired_hillbilly · 2022-08-13T19:52:25+00:00

I don't think it's quite the same as a drug addict becoming desensitized to their drug of choice. I think it's a purely or primarily psychological phenomenon, I don't think it's primarily a neurochemistry problem. The pleasure of sex is a powerful experience, and having that experience in the context of a committed relationship makes you associate the relationship with the powerful experience. But if it's done a lot outside committed, you will have a tough time forming that association; you know they're not inextricably linked.

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OmnemVeritatem · 2022-08-13T21:55:01+00:00

I too would like to study female promiscuity, fellow young adults. Please nend sudes.

Vtridolla · 2022-08-14T03:44:41+00:00

Well straight men are least likely to make their partners cum during sex, which is what leads to the dopamine rush. So have no fear loved one.

Unhyper · 2022-08-14T08:17:01+00:00

Female orgasm has never been necessary for reproduction. As long as they were able to bond with their offspring they were dependent on their male anyway to protect and provide resources. So I'm not sure why evolution would put so much emphasis on the off chance that a female reached climax.

Since most people don't want to pair up and start a family now anyway it seems to be neither here or there whether there's any validity to it. Promiscuous women are the gasoline that keeps the hookup culture running. Enjoy it.

filthyburrows · 2022-08-14T09:45:13+00:00

this is as scientific as the fortune this old babushka gave me when i was 15 running through an old market in romania.

poppy_blu · 2022-08-13T20:59:42+00:00

No it doesn’t make sense.

Men and women release oxytocin. So if this theory holds up for women it has to also hold up for men.

Also you don’t just release oxytocin during sex. You also release it when breastfeeding, petting your dog, even running. Mothers don’t loose the ability to bond with subsequent children because they breastfed. And basically what they’re saying is stay away from dog lovers and runners cause they’re guaranteed to cheat 😂😂😂

Men who want women with low counts should just own it and stop trying to demonize women for not fitting their preferences.

At this point in my life I’d never LTR a white man. Not because there is anything wrong with white men. It’s just not my preference. It is possible to want what you want without feeling like what you don’t want is baaaaaaaaad. That’s an extremely immature view that suggests one isn’t mature enough to be dating.

sarkington · 2022-08-13T21:26:37+00:00

Let’s define “promiscuity” first

george__whorewell · 2022-08-13T22:15:22+00:00

I hate to break it to you because you sound like you're 14 but all of this is bullshit

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-08-13T23:55:22+00:00

Like I said in my reply:

oxytocin is released while petting or playing with a dog or cat.. are girls who have pets' pair bonds ruined?

Also -- what about a girl who has sex with the same guy 1000 times in 5 years then breaks up with him over something. Is she more pair bond ruined than a girl who has sex 80 times with 20 different guys?

Or more realistically, oxytocin release is a post hoc justification for guys who feel like female promiscuity is icky

ProfessorFelix0812 · 2022-08-14T04:07:14+00:00

This sub is obsessed with women having sex with more than one dude…

blmzd · 2022-08-13T21:10:10+00:00

Honestly, I feel bad for the wayward men and boys who fall for this pseudoscience bullshit. Go outside and touch some grass. Take a deep breath and try actually talking to a woman for once. Jeez.

tommysamson · 2022-08-13T22:17:25+00:00

having a lot of sex makes the woman pickier and she has less ability to fall in love with less sexually experienced men because she starts associating love with sexually experienced men, and it's less the sexual act and more the fact that she's still in love with 1 or more exes.

2022-08-13T19:37:31+00:00

Generally, unresolved mental problems and sexual abuse.

(There is a small percentage of women who are naturally sociosexual.)

WaffleBurner96 · 2022-08-13T23:01:21+00:00

“Pair bonding” is a made up term, just like “sin,” used to influence other people to behave in a certain way that is pleasing to the inventor.

sluttykitt_y · 2022-08-13T22:46:46+00:00

Your text is grammatically correct and formal but I found it so cringe

A bit of theory for u tho:

drug users lose their tolerance over time when they don’t do the drug, and they also gain a tolerance from experience, which I think finishes with time as well as it’s forgotten and when you don’t play video games for a while you become “rusty”

SmilesRHere · 2022-08-13T23:34:45+00:00

If red pill morons understood the oxytocin theory, they would see that the theory does not say anything about promiscuity making women unable to bond after many partners.

The theory basically says that if a women has good sex, and lots of orgasms, with the same partner, there is going to be a kind of bonding/addiction to that partner.

If, big if, the theory is correct, a woman could have sex with hundreds of partners but not bond with any of them through sex (can still bond and fall in love with personality etc) until she has a regular partner that is good in the sack with whom she has lots of orgasms.

Key words: REGULAR PARTNER (in other words the main partner with whom she has sex most often) and ORGASMS.

In essence the oxytocin theory says a good sexual partner who is able to give a woman pleasure and help her have many orgasms is a keeper.

Considering most red pill guys seem to be total loosers in bed, of course they will distort the theory.

I do believe great sex can be addictive, like everything that feels that so good, but not love kind addictive, it will rather lead to infatuation which can then turn in to love or a strong bond, but only if other parts of the relationship are also as good.

Willow-girl · 2022-08-14T11:54:28+00:00

Women don't bond with every man they sleep with, the same way men may not bond with the girl they take home with at closing time.

Casual sex, in most cases, is just that -- casual.

Smitten_Squire · 2022-08-13T20:07:12+00:00

Higher levels of promiscuity means lower pair bonding for her future relationships

2022-08-13T20:09:54+00:00

I have not heard of the oxytocin desensitization theory but if we are talking about it from a male perspective promiscuous women are worse for long-term relationships due to being more likely to cheat, they also have less fulfilling marriages on average and are more likely to become divorced.

Ztstra · 2022-08-13T21:30:19+00:00

I have no idea about oxytocin and im not gonna pretend i do.

But i have to give my beef on this.

Maybe its simply that exchanging partners builds confidence. We all want to be desired and when you genuinely are desired you are bound to be more confident. When a confident person is in a relationship they wont take crap because they know they have options and arent afraid to exercise them.

Women tend to like cocky and confident men and the same isnt true the other way around(there are exceptions but the general rule remains).

Maybe its also envy. I can tell you from personal experience that men envy women on their "worth". Its easy to date and hook up because you can just exist and be a valuable human being that will be desired and loved. For men its not the case. Very few are loved for what they are. You have to build yourself up before being a worthy human, before mattering as a person.

Its possible that we hate promiscous women because we just want to be the same but dont have the option. Nobody cares about you or wants you by default.

The third take is kinda the second but a little different. Men have to approach ,conquer,impress......... Women get approached,conquered, impressed.

If someone is good winning they will be respected. If the "prize" gets won multiple times it loses value.

calfshrug · 2022-08-13T23:58:22+00:00

I believe that both men and women tend to bond the most strongly with ONE particular individual, and hat individual might be their first, or it may not be? But nonetheless, one individual can end are the soul of another, for better or for worse. (Worse if unrequited / resentment )

Why_am_I_LikeThis27 · 2022-08-14T04:52:46+00:00

Why would it be unfavorable to be desensitised to forming a bond you aren't trying to make?

Generally anything you can become desensitized to you can re-sensitize yourself to through reduction.

What's the actual argument, that promiscuity is good or bad? Does promiscuity mean infidelity here of just sleeping around?

Never posted before, don't know anything about it.

anonymous-platypus1 · 2022-08-14T15:23:50+00:00

This assumes that the sex she’s having is leading to an orgasm. Most women I know don’t have orgasms regularly when they have causal sex, and even the sex they have with partners requires learning and practice. The desensitization thing might just be due to the fact that the female orgasm isn’t required for reproduction, and if you over work anything it can fuck up the nerve endings. But also none of this is science based: though it would explain why some men can be so self-centered. They’ve pair bonded with themselves from all the oxytocin released through masturbation. /s

urbangoth · 2022-08-15T06:24:32+00:00

Ehhh this isn't true for me. My current partner is the best and and I love him more than anyone else I've ever dated. I've changed for the better for him—something I've never even been willing to do for others or friends. Prior to that it was just a "take it or leave" thing, and still is for anyone I don't care about, which is basically everyone except my partner. He's also changed for the better for me.

We're both high-n and have often mentioned that this is the best partnership/relationship we've ever had. Idk why this pair bonding nonsense is so emphasized; it's probably some level of confirmation bias or observed when people are just settling for someone.

browithstupidopinion · 2022-08-15T13:14:42+00:00

Pair bonding is a pseudoscience concept right up there with Alpha males. Just throw it up.

Alive_Time · 2022-08-15T17:21:39+00:00

Both men and women release bonding hormones. The amounts vary greatly from person to person. Men produce valsopressin and women oxytocin. Although men can also produce oxytocin the amount is generally lower.

Some people release a lot of bonding hormones. This is the reason some become stalkers or extremely clingy even without sex. Bonding forms in friendships as well not just with sexual partners.

There are also folks who release very little bonding hormones, can be asexual, or simply not monogamous hopping from partner to partner never forming a tight bond. Some only need to be intimate once amd others need constant reinforcement. Add hormone therapy or medication into the mix and things vary even more.

The problem is when folks try to moralize the genetics of others. If we could figure out who we really are and what we want it would be far more productive than trying to throw everyone into one of two cookie cutter buckets.

lemoncurdmacaron · 2022-08-16T15:22:11+00:00

Yeah I don’t think the issue is bonding the issue is commitment issues, same with a person that jumps from job to job.

Sea_Pepper_4625 · 2023-02-02T16:55:18+00:00

Because it isn’t backed up - it’s complete bullshit. The hormone is released in way higher amount when you sleep, eat, hab fun with friends, massages etc. it’s not messing you up to bond adm it doesn’t make you bond in the 1st place

Ofc people with many partners and relationships will have a harder time bonding die trust issues etc - but it applies to us men just as much to women.it’s Common Sense.The whole Myth is coming from the Redpill which make sup whatever fits their agenda without real evidence. The „study“ from the Rp was made in a Muslim country where divorce isn’t allowed so it’s basically useless( + sex before marriage is also a no go bc it’s not halal)

Title	Female promiscuity
Author	5cr4dZ
Upvotes	26
Comments	253
Date	August 13, 2022 5:45 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wnk9va/female_promiscuity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/female-promiscuity.1127436 https://theredarchive.com/post/1127436

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