As usual men doing the bare minimum in relationships.

huevos_and_whiskey · 2021-02-28T19:08:10+00:00

If she wasn't brainwashed by society she would have dumped him on the spot. I also don't understand giving gifts or investing this much for a boyfriend.

Not to mention driving 20 minutes is literally nothing.

The way she describes it makes me suspect HE mentions it as if he doing her favor every time.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-02-28T19:08:49+00:00

Maybe I'm overly sensitive today but this made me cry a little 😣

Gambit12345 · 2021-02-28T19:19:40+00:00

Birthdays are always a soft spot for me. First she did way too much for his birthday. The tenet of “treat as you want to be treated” is oftentimes ignored by men. She’s his girlfriend and she set a standard for his birthday. She went all out. If he had any sense of reciprocation he would’ve given her a remarkable birthday. Instead he did nothing and to add insult to injury wants her to use bday money her friends gave her to pay for it. Audacious. This dude is just dating her for the sake of it, he couldn’t care less on top of being cheap af. Won’t spend on his gf for her bday because he doesn’t see her as worthy of financial investment. Very sad indeed.

Sage_Planter · 2021-02-28T19:46:57+00:00

Broke-ass.

But what the actual fuck is this "talking" shit that so many women keep mentioning? "We've been talking for X amount of time". Why do you waste your time with this nonsense? If you're only "talking" to a guy and hoping he picks you (for??? MONTHS??), at some point you really get what you deserve. She was Pickme'ing for a year.

Let this be a lesson to any of ya'll who are "talking" to men. Just stop. You get to know each other by actually dating, where he has to actually show some commitment to the idea, not this low effort "talking" bullshit.

ThrowRAanonymouspick · 2021-02-28T19:28:10+00:00

I've had a man drive 3 hours to me for a first date and he still paid.. omg 😳

Awkward-Plane-6617 · 2021-02-28T19:45:58+00:00

Actual reply from a LVM in the comments:

“Wait so he drove to see you and bought you a gift as well.I don't see the problem. It's your b-day so you should pay if you receive a gift. And maybe he didn't have enough money. Anyways guys are not good with surprises so don't expect him to do more. Next time don't put too much effort on his b-day they don't even care about these things”

This same persons reply on a post by a guy who says his girlfriend kisses her gay male friends and jokingly sends him “suggestive” pictures of herself with said gay friends.

”I'm sorry dude but you need to break up with her. If a girl loves u doesn't do such stuff as kissing other person besides you or sending nudes with others. That's not cool at all. That's disgusting and even if you like her that much doesn't mean you have to accept this kind of behavior for your own good just break up with her. There are plenty of girls who wouldn't even do these things. You're so stupid for accepting this”

Edit: I added some context to the description of the second post after looking it up on removeddit.

DallasOMalley · 2021-02-28T20:41:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Rememberthekant · 2021-02-28T19:31:02+00:00

Uh... I live in the city and I drive 30mins+ everytime I wanna see my FRIENDS (and they live close to me but the city is always full with traffic)... Is 20mins supposed to be a lot to see someone you are planning to marry? Lol??

throwaway32132134 · 2021-02-28T19:51:40+00:00

I hope for my birthday this year my boyfriend is kind enough to take me to a parking lot. 😍😍😍😍😍🥰😘😘😍 The thoughtfulness leaves me in tears, am i right ladies? /s

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2021-02-28T21:07:46+00:00

This is just sad. We have to start teaching teen girls to NOT do this sweet, romantic stuff for boyfriends. 99% of the time it is a complete waste. Men are the ones who have to make grand romantic gestures, women don't, because women aren't the ones who have to prove themselves different from any bum on the street. Nobody out there, except incels, doubts that a young woman really loves her boyfriend.

throwaway32132134 · 2021-02-28T19:47:46+00:00

I love how every time a woman writes a complaint like this men are always in the comments like BuT wHaT dId YoU dO fOr HiS bIrThDay? and NoT AlL MeN. As though it had not been show time and time again that women are CONSISTENTLY more thoughtful, kind and put way more effort in relationships. There are a zillion example just like this one. The level of delusion is truly amazing.

randomgirlimok · 2021-02-28T20:53:08+00:00

Driving 20 minutes cost what, $2 in gas? Then she pays for the food and probably gives him sex? This dude is basically a gigolo getting paid to come have sex with her.

sarahsanchez1220 · 2021-02-28T20:56:46+00:00

I lost it after “driving 20 minutes” was held up as a grand positive gesture. Ummm what?!

Pasdepromesses · 2021-02-28T21:40:42+00:00

When I was sixteen, I had a LDR with my boyfriend. Every weekend, my boyfriend and dad did an exchange in the middle 90 minute drive for both of them (both ways). They did this every Friday and Sunday. I never paid gas money to anyone. They did this for 2 years.

Also, when I went to university, I visited my parents every other weekend. My boyfriend wanted to see me during the weekend too and often (90% of the time) accompanied me. My parents aren’t the easiest bunch.

This never counted as ‘a gift’. He got me stuff like iPods for Christmas and trips to Paris for my birthday. We regularly went out to dinner. This guy was only 2 years older than I was and in university too. Middle class with student loans. There’s literally no excuses.

If he wants to, he will.

Snoo-77746 · 2021-02-28T19:31:07+00:00

Wtf is this I hope she dumps him for this.

2021-02-28T23:24:28+00:00

“Talking for over a year” Girl hold up

2021-02-28T19:30:41+00:00

Only read the headline and 🤣 I can't.

What the actual fucking fuck.

STOP.EN.ABLING. For Chrissake.

Edit: yep, read through the rest. Bare minimum + enabler = fun times.

divination__ · 2021-02-28T23:54:06+00:00

god this is such a sore spot for me. birthday are a big deal for me and i always make an effort. my nvm ex did NOTHING for my 27th birthday and when I was visibly upset (we were living together at the time) he had the audacity of say that I 'make everything about myself'. lol! as if my birthday isn't the one day of the year I'm allowed to make about myself!I let the relationship drag on for almost a whole other year before finally breaking it off (he tried to win me back on my 28th). This after me planning elaborate surprise birthday parties and trips and thoughtful gifts for him. Never again. If a man won't even do something special for you on your BIRTHDAY, he categorically does not love you.

2021-02-28T20:36:19+00:00

This is so very sad. 😭

I've been with my fiancé for 5 years, and for the past couple of years, I haven't really known what I wanted for my birthday (or even been bothered at all really) and yet, every year he BRINGS IT. I don't need to tell him what to get me (he does ask each year though, in case I want something specific), because he pays attention. He bought me 3 thoughtful gifts that got me smiling all day (and still make me smile when I use them).

I hope she gets rid of this "man". And also that she stops doing so much so quickly if/when she dates again.

mtan15 · 2021-03-01T01:57:20+00:00

Some people drive 20 minutes to get to a grocery store....

2021-02-28T19:31:17+00:00

He is a colossal LOSER.

aquietsword · 2021-03-01T04:58:22+00:00

Is this like a Flintstone's car??? WTF is the big deal about driving to see his gf? I hate this guy.

Colour_riot · 2021-03-01T03:40:01+00:00

Real HVMs will offer to drive you and your family / friends everywhere. Even if it's more than 20 minutes and they aren't going the same way

spicybookmaster · 2021-03-01T04:16:17+00:00

They’ve been talking for over a year and only in an actual relationship for 2 months?

He’s not with her because he wants to be. Something somewhere didn’t work out.

penelopesheets · 2021-03-01T02:46:04+00:00

Sounds exactly like a dude I dated in college. I surprised him on his birthday with tickets to a festival, decorated his room, baked him a cake from scratch (he was a gym bro so it was super healthy and hard to make) and bought him other gifts. On my birthday I had to beg him to go to a dinner and a show with me that I paid a lot of money for. I feel so pathetic now looking back lol never again. Mind you, he made more money than me and had rich parents paying for everything for him while I was living on my own.

aoi4eg · 2021-03-01T13:47:49+00:00

25th birthdays are cursed! Mine was shit as well.

My ex made a huge deal about hating his birthday and cautioned me to not congratulate him, let alone buy a gift. Well, I ain't your psychiatrist, mate. So I said that I like celebrating my birthday, it's at the end of May, the weather is always great etc.

We went for a trip to Germany, I wrote a list of things I wanted to do, he was reluctant about almost all of them. His only participation was the task of finding a cute coffee shop for the evening, in order for me to have my "birthday cake".

Well, he didn't even bother, probably just googled the nearest bakery to the place we stayed, when we arrived, it was already closing, but an amazing barista let us order. Had to share one piece of cake because nothing was left, and he made sure to continue complaining about "I never celebrate muh birthday! why you make me feel bad by trying to have fun on yours??"

FrogGirl2000 · 2021-03-01T15:55:38+00:00

Ha, my last ex was like this. When I ended things, he bought me something to try to Hoover me back in. Before going no contact I said “should of had that energy on my birthday” and he was livid. Fucking idiots, the lot of them.

If you can only appreciate something when it’s gone, you need help.

_mooness · 2021-02-28T23:53:25+00:00

She feels like a fossil 😂 poor thing. Baby, your life won’t even start till you ditch this loser

soundslikeautumn · 2021-03-01T03:19:13+00:00

Omg!!! Not a 20 minute drive!! 🙄

2021-03-01T17:17:32+00:00

20 min? I am from Texas so distance is something normal for us, but I’m just saying... I had a man drive 5 hours just to take me on a date and leave that same night. 20 min is something to be expected

IAteTheDragon · 2021-03-01T18:52:38+00:00

PARKING LOT you guys 🚮

2021-03-01T19:45:54+00:00

He drives 20 min to see her and she has been brainwashed into thinking that is some kind of sacrifice.

Sometimes I drive that far to get a pop at the drive through.

🙄

lollykpops · 2021-03-01T07:34:43+00:00

TWENTY MINUTES, girl.

littlepip38042 · 2021-03-01T13:34:53+00:00

On the first date with my now fiance, he drove over an hour to my city in freezing rain, paid for the coffee date, took me to a bookstore and bought me his favorite book, then took me to dinner.

"I pay because he drives *20 minutes* to come out see me" *eye roll*

BabyGothQ · 2021-03-01T03:24:56+00:00

ooof that hurt to read

whatevertoton · 2021-03-01T05:36:52+00:00

Lame. Sooooo lame.

Lavender_flow · 2021-03-02T23:43:24+00:00

😒😒🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️👨‍🎓

Title	As usual men doing the bare minimum in relationships.
Author	Velvettcum
Upvotes	500
Comments	124
Date	February 28, 2021 5:50 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lulutp/as_usual_men_doing_the_bare_minimum_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/as-usual-men-doing-the-bare-minimum-in.1192064 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192064

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