[Q4All] Just how successful are your close friends in dating/romance?

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-02-17T15:36:50+00:00

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ineedavacation4 · 2021-02-17T17:24:16+00:00

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SaBahRub · 2021-02-17T16:22:29+00:00

Single people don’t like being around boring marrieds

SilentLurker666 · 2021-02-17T16:37:49+00:00

1.)Just how successful are your friends In dating?

Most of my friends are already married. I know one guy who's divorced, and another who is single. Not sure if he wants to date. Both are considered low income earners and not having the best quality of life, but they can support their own lifestyle, have hobbies, and not seemingly in debt. Another female friend have been engaged with a guy in Texas for like 8 years and I have heard nothing from the guy's side for the last 4 years.

2.) If you have a friend or friends who is unsuccessful, what would you say is the biggest reason? Have you ever tried to give advice or help that person? Are they a lost cause in your eyes?

I don't think people are actively looking, especially during COVID. Most individuals are very canid about seeking relationships and definitely aren't actively looking for advice. That is why subs like RP and FDS are so popular because these things aren't openly discussed in the real world.

3.)If you have had or have friends that are much more successful than you have you ever been jealous/envious?

I'm still single while most of my friends are married and I definitely would like to start a family someday. It's more like they are envious of my singlehood status and dating life at times thou.

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-02-17T15:29:35+00:00

1.)Just how successful are your friends In dating?

I count both my friends and cousins, because we're a tight-knit family. Most friends of my age (in their 20s) are single by choice, they don't date anyone because they're too busy either with their studies and work or with work and coping/overcoming some shitty obstacles that are not related to dating. My older friends and cousins are almost all happily married and have kids. They mostly did serial monogamy.

Two of my close people are divorced, one because her ex-husband chose his addiction over their sick child and the other because his ex-wife tried to manipulate him by "you do or..." and he chose "or".

3.)If you have had or have friends that are much more successful than you have you ever been jealous/envious?

I was ignored by boys at school and most my friends were getting at least some dates or attention. I coped with it by studying harder and accepted it eventually. After getting the attentions I got that there was nothing to be envious about and overall I was more comfortable as a "third" gender when boys either didn't notice me or treated me like their little sister.

vvvqvvv · 2021-02-17T19:01:23+00:00

I'm in my early 20s and all my friends are various degrees above average & are all smart. Most of my guy/girl friends have SOs or are happily running through casual flings.

There is one guy in our group that is not very successful and he has faced the brunt of jokes & snarky remarks, pretty much all exclusively coming from the other males in our group. The girls in the group try to encourage him and help him (ex: we took him shopping to get some new threads because his style was only hurting his chances).

Myself and some of the other active girls/guys in the group have encouraged him to come workout with us, bur certain males in the group make fun of him and he doesn't come anymore.

I know people in this sub paint women as mean creatures but honestly men can be very cruel to other men, especially men they deem "lesser"

Hoopy223 · 2021-02-17T17:03:33+00:00

Most are successful I’d say.

The successful ones are outgoing, they like living in urban areas and partying a lot. Then they’ll hook up with someone permanently and move out to the burbs.

Unsuccessful guys are mostly shy or depressed. Or they live in a shitty area. Way out in the woods that sort of thing.

Unsuccessful women are usually crazy. Like this broad I hooked up with one of my friends because she asked. Then she turns him down with a big huge story about how she is getting married. Then she told me she wanted to meet him again because she felt bad but he wasn’t answering her texts.

Or they date shitty guys over and over. Violent bikers/criminals, steroid junky weightlifters with no job, wannabe rapstars, fat drunk guys with 27 tattoos, basically anyone unstable and/or guaranteed to hurt them.

I don’t know any single men or women who are single by looks alone, although looking good obviously helps.

Most married people I know have divorced or split up. Older couples seem to stick it out through situations that younger couples won’t. Just a sign of the times I guess.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-02-17T17:12:58+00:00

I'm 52. For my single friends who are in their 40s and 50s, most of whom are divorced:

--Just how successful are your friends In dating?

Moderately successful. They tend to date serially with varying durations and "attachment" levels. Most of them seem to be satisfied, until they aren't for some reason, and then they head back out.

--If you have a friend or friends who is unsuccessful, what would you say is the biggest reason? Have you ever tried to give advice or help that person? Are they a lost cause in your eyes?

The male friends who are unsuccessful usually are because they get attached too soon or too much, or because they're wannabe players who are not adept plate spinners. The female friends who are unsuccessful usually are because their expectations are too high. They're 43 or 53 but think they're still 23. They can't find any men who meet their stratospheric requirements. They cougar it up and get pumped and dumped. They're all competing for the, like, 3 silver foxes that live around here. I'd bet those 3 silver foxes have fucked just about every 40 and up single woman/divorcee in the area.

I've advised only when asked to, which isn't often. I might sometimes comment after they lament their problems, but otherwise, I don't say much. I wouldn't say they're "lost causes". I would say remarriage is unlikely for a lot of them. They can date, and keep doing so, as long as they can find a way to be satisfied and content with that.

--If you have had or have friends that are much more successful than you have you ever been jealous/envious?

N/A.

Christian_Kong · 2021-02-17T18:20:19+00:00

Im nearing 40 so my close friends are pretty much all married.

1) Success was varied by the person. Most successful was a wreckless image(he talked a big game but was pretty tame overall) band guy and never went without a woman in his life, even though he LTR dated most of the time and didn't often hook up with the 100 girls trying to bang him. Others were from all different types, most were in bands and did the college thing as well(I think only 2 close friend did not go to college.) They all had fleeting success and only dated 2-3 women before getting married. Never had much success short term dating and would go months to years between relationships.

2) I would probably say looks and maybe they wanted someone out of their league, which I don't have any real proof of. None of us ever really talk about dating, so no advice was ever given.

3)None of my close friends are much more successful than myself(I worked at bars for a long time) but I have known plenty of Chads who are mega successful. I am jealous in a way. It's adorable to see women falling over themselves to give their numbers to these guys. It must be nice to put in almost no effort to get results few get to have with their best effort. On the other side of the coin I often lost respect/interest for these girls since the Chaddish dudes were often straight up shitty or dudes they knew would pump and dump them, to which they would want pity from others for what happened to them.

philomexa · 2021-02-17T16:26:09+00:00

All my female friends are married with kids except one. The single gal is quite possible asexual (I've never seen her fuss about a guy or girl) and she has never shown interest in men, women, families, babies, or domesticity. She's currently a traveling cirque du soleil performer and has no time for any of that. None of my female friends have expressed dissatisfaction with their lives, so I'd consider everyone a success, or at least happy with their choices.

Most of my husband's friends are married or at least LTR'd. His closest and oldest friends are married with kids, but I know of 1 perpetually single childhood friend; he looks alright and I don't mind his company but he has a dry/sarcastic/hurtful sense of humor and I can see how that would turn most women off. I don't think anybody has a right to give him advice, he is who he is. I don't think he wants what my husband has, he seems a bit MGTOW-ish and content with that.

Jealousy and envy (especially around romantic issues) are nonsensical concepts past the age of like, 19.

M0rtAuxRois · 2021-02-17T15:50:54+00:00

Early 30's, late 20's, About half are in stable LTR's, 25% are forever or mostly single, 25% can get laid regularly. My friend/acquaintance groups can be divided into thirds (I'm talking about like 30 people max here): 33% liberal academics that have been entrenched in academia for a decade (mostly paired off or going to be), 33% DnD nerds (mostly, but not all, sexless loveable weirdos), and 33% BJJ/TKD guys (mostly, but not all, guys who can murder me and pussy very easily). Unsurprisingly they mostly* fulfill the functions in the dating market that you think they're going to.
Short and or fat. They're (mostly) all intelligent, talented, super personable people. And yes, I have tried to make my fat friends less fat, and I tell all my short friends to get as shredded as possible and or make bank (some have taken my advice, most have not). One or two are lost causes for sure and will be forever alone, which is super sad, but there's nothing I can do after years of trying and especially when they refuse to date within their weight class.
No, hot dumb sluts are everywhere, or at least, I have only lived in places where hot dumb sluts are everywhere, so there's really nothing to be jealous of. There's no shortage of women and competition only makes you less shit.

2021-02-17T21:55:51+00:00

41 here: my two best friends in my 20's and early 30's were bandmates. This was in the 2000's and I was a Chadlite when being a Chadlite could take you places, and I always did better with dating than they did. However, they always managed to get some kind of girlfriend. One was a tall, weird looking skinny guy and one was a fat bro dude covered in tats who got women with humor. The tall, weird looking guy dropped out of the game really early on: maybe 25? He was the first one out of the group to start dating older, single moms (in a very predatory way...thought they were easy) and was also the first guy in the group to totally give up and start seeing prostitutes. Not escorts, but straight up street walkers. He has some crazy stories.

I grew up in 2000's "scene" culture and it's a huge mix: married with kids people, some married guys who are MGTOW horror stories and want out, single moms who used to be huge superstars because they were hot....lots and lots of those local hotties from back in the day were impregnated by a band guy and are now 35 year old single mothers. Lots and lots of ex's who just now got married to some fat hipster guy at 36, 37 years old. Seems like the women either had a "whoops" baby really early on...or married in middle age. No inbetween on that.

Just my story.

Iluvalmonds83 · 2021-02-17T15:44:16+00:00

I and Most of my friends are mid 30’s to 40, married (first time and for 5+years) and about half of us have kids either from marriage or in a blended family format.

I don’t know that homogeneous social grouping is a good indicator of romantically successful people; I feel like everyone’s got that perpetually single friend who’s a welcome part of the friend group.

jax006 · 2021-02-17T15:39:28+00:00

I think the friends and social circles I've kept are often pretty mixed as far as dating success.

Among my best friends right now Im seen as the "player" (which is just lol) two of the guys in my social circle are mid twenties virgins. One guy was married to a hot chick from college who divorce raped him. Couple others have average normie LTRs

In highschool and early college though two out of three of my best friends were like one tier down from chads, would constantly be dating or hooking up with hot girls.

I don't think the notion rings exactly true. There is probably some correlation but especially as people get.older the differences stratify. Just the number of people who maintain consistent exercise vs those who don't into their late 20s makes a huge difference

thelajestic · 2021-02-17T16:51:24+00:00

1.)Just how successful are your friends In dating?

Mostly successful - mostly married or coupled up or single for a reason (one is asexual and doesn't want a relationship, at least right now). I have one who is single and wishes they weren't.

2.) If you have a friend or friends who is unsuccessful, what would you say is the biggest reason? Have you ever tried to give advice or help that person? Are they a lost cause in your eyes?

She was in a lovely relationship with a great guy but she's terrible with money and he just got fed up of it, which is fair enough. I've never tried to give advice or help as I'm sure it would just come across condescending. She knows what the issue was and it's up to her if she wants to change it. Not a lost cause - she's gorgeous and lovely and great fun and would be a great catch if she sorted her money issues or found someone who wasn't bothered by it.

3.)If you have had or have friends that are much more successful than you have you ever been jealous/envious?

No. Maybe when I was about 12 and I felt like everyone was getting a boyfriend and I wasn't but I don't think that counts 🤣 as an adult I've always counted success as being happy so I normally feel pretty successful!

Karmanger · 2021-02-17T17:42:56+00:00

1.My friends are either Married or in LTR's all of them were sexually successful at getting what they want from relationships.

2.The cause of my friends not being successful in the past was because they didn't want to date. Girls still approached them at bars or tried to dance with them in clubs so.... no lost causes

3.I don't know if jealously/envy is the right word. Back in those times, I was more frustrated that I didn't know what they were doing to be consistently successful. I wanted to be as successful as them but I didn't admire them or anything, maybe the word is Yearn.

Easteuroblondie · 2021-02-17T18:37:48+00:00

My friends are mostly in committed relationships, and I think they’ve all done a lot of work to identify what they need and how that’s often at odds with what they are naturally attracted to, which is bad a lot of the times

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-02-17T18:37:55+00:00

I'd say that 99% of my friends have exactly what they want, whatever that may be.

klamus · 2021-02-17T19:02:48+00:00

Everyone has girlfriends. 4 of them are 6ft+ and stem educated. High tier normies or Chad lites I would rank them. One is 5'7 that finally got a girlfriend after 25 years. Happy for him

2021-02-17T16:59:02+00:00

Most of my friends are good looking so they get laid, have mistresses or have girlfriends. I'm the only incel but I have alot of friends because of my personality and been really funny.

Although females too like to be friends with me or hang out but they always let me know that we should keep it that way...

sweetestpineapple · 2021-02-17T16:52:56+00:00

1) mostly successful (can get a date in a short period of time if they want to) with a few exceptions.

2)My best female friend (20) who is overweight, has mild disabilities and lives in an abusive home situation has had a few short “relationship” but the guys left her or rejected her after a few weeks or months. She’s still a virgin as far as I know which affects her self esteem. One of my male friends (26) has been in a few long term relationships but almost never gets matches on dating sites when he’s single, and he tries hard. He does have a very specific type (bordering on fetish lol) and isn’t conventionally attractive (short, chubby, very feminine voice).

3) I (23f) struggled with love/dating til I was about 18 so before then yeah, I was jealous of people who got dates in high school and talked about being hit on or whatever. Right now not really, because we all have such different types that there’s never any sense of competition but I still feel bad when my more conventionally attractive friends get treated better by men and can get away with a little more.

2021-02-17T17:00:12+00:00

Kind of all over the board. I have two close friends who are married with babies. Two close friends who are divorced; one is remarried and one has a bf who she just had a baby with. One close friend who is in a relationship but it doesn't seem serious and we all kind of hate the guy lol. She is kind of the wild child free spirit of the group who I don't really expect to settle down. Another close friend who has been with the same guy for like ten years, no plans for marriage or kids afaik but they seem happy.

So, varying levels of stability/success in my book.

Edit: For context I'm a 32-year-old female, my friends are women in their late 20s and early 30s.

deathbecomesme123456 · 2021-02-17T17:11:25+00:00

6 female friends. 22-23. All UMC, pretty, and thin. 2 choose not to date because of bad experiences/no time but they used to. 3 are in long term stable relationships. 1 engages in casual dating.

I used to date but now I choose not to because of bad experiences as well so I don’t feel unsuccessful. I sometimes envy their being in relationships right now but I wouldn’t really want to date around to get that.

Barely-moral · 2021-02-17T15:59:41+00:00

Just how successful are your friends In dating?

They are beta losers and have the results expected from a beta loser.

If you have a friend or friends who is unsuccessful, what would you say is the biggest reason?

Stupid. Naive. Unwilling to lower their standards. Lack of spine.

Have you ever tried to give advice or help that person?

Yes. Useless until they learn through pain.

Are they a lost cause in your eyes?

Only some of them.

If you have had or have friends that are much more successful than you have you ever been jealous/envious?

I don't have friends that are much more succesful than me. I am not compatible with the kind of people that have a life that leads to that kind of results.

Throughout my life I’ve heard that successful people hang out with other successful people, and losers hang out with losers.

True in my case. The difference between my friends and I is that I am willing to date down to the point in which I can actually get what I want in return for what I can give.

purplepilldthrowaway · 2021-02-17T16:45:15+00:00

Male. Most of my friends are bluepilled (i.e. traditional relationships / dating, potentially or actually leading to marriage). I'll describe my four best friends:

Married (last year, in his mid 20s) and very successful in my eyes. Naturally an alpha personality with a strong frame, teases his wife playfully back and forth sometimes, and they both have the utmost love and respect for each other with healthy communication. I don't know if they'll stay together forever (I'm not sure if humans are wired to be monogamous long-term), but for now they are one of the healthiest couples I've seen. Funnily enough he was against PUA when I first got into it, but at this point I think he's seen that I practice PUA / TRP in a wholesome way and treat girls well.
Not jealous of him even though I've never had such a successful relationship (because I've never met a girl I loved that much and was that compatible with). Just happy for him and for their sake I hope they do last forever, because they'd be crushed if they split up.
In a semi-healthy relationship. Unhealthy parts include being long distance for a good chunk of the time, and her eyes straying (and making out with a close friend of hers while she was drunk) during one of those LDR chunks. They are compatible in other ways and enjoy fun camping trips together. Both medium SMV; I wouldn't go for her myself but he's also not the most handsome guy out there, although he has an incredible personality and is my best friend in the world. When I got into PUA / TRP he passively learned from the stuff I was learning and it improved his relationship lots - he learned how to be more alpha, how to pass shit tests, how to be more sexually dominant with her, etc. But he definitely isn't the natural alpha that friend #1 is, and that might play an influence in his relationship.
In an unhealthy relationship. Just as friend #2, he has an INCREDIBLE personality, and is incredibly loving... but to his detriment in his relationship. His girlfriend is controlling and has anger issues, and my friend responds to her with pure love without ever setting strong boundaries for how she treats him. He apologizes when he shouldn't apologize because he's way too empathetic. Funnily enough, there are hypergamous elements to his relationship - she has insecurity issues and wants to marry him more than he currently wants to marry her, and he's higher SMV than her - but the terrible bluepill way in which he interacts with her only encourages her to keep treating him like a typical nagging, controlling, masculine wife would. I've tried to help him by teaching him about red pill concepts like setting boundaries and not giving into her frame, and he's extremely open to the concepts when we discuss them, but he goes right back to his beta behavior with her. Nothing I can do except be there for him as a friend.
Very successful. Typical Chad: tall, handsome face, lean / slightly muscular build, and alpha personality (which might be directly related to his Chadness giving him high self esteem from positive external results). Dates multiple girls at a time.
Sometimes a little envious of him because he's successful with girls largely due to his genetics, which I don't have to the same extent (although I was blessed with above average genetics). At the same time I'm very aware of the human condition in which everyone (including him) can be unsatisfied with their situation; we can always want more, and even he's not fully satisfied with his dating life. So I'm not super envious - I try to just be happy that I was born with the above average genetics I have; even if I'm not as much of a Chad, I can still be quite satisfied with my dating life.

Edit: who downvoted me? It's against the sub's rules to downvote here, but even if you do still want to downvote me, I'd still be open to hearing your counter-thoughts... this is a debate sub and I'm always open to healthy discussion.

--kana-- · 2021-02-17T19:06:30+00:00

I'm in HS so my answers aren't representative of the average person, but, out of my closer friends, it's pretty mixed. I'm unsuccessful, but haven't really put too much effort into this type of thing. I have a few friends that are similar to me. One guy tries and fails often. Then a couple more are currently in LTRs and another 1-2 are pretty successful.

Paranoidexboyfriend · 2021-02-17T16:43:20+00:00

I'm a married dude now, most of my friends are married as well.

as to successful, most are married. before they got married they probably had somewhere between a dozen and two dozen sexual partners. So fairly successful, but not like over the top successful.
As to unsuccessful friends, their main issues were a mixture of being fat, ugly, not being in any social activities where they could meet women. The majority were open to change and eventually found a girlfriend by changing up their social activities. I helped them by teaching them how to be more extraverted and teaching them how to initiate dialogue and the steps between meeting and either hooking up or getting a date. There were only one or two lost causes I could think of. They were either consumed by bitterness, or just so socially awkward that the effort they'd need to change was monumental. Even they could've been saved if they would've been willing to accept an ugly mate.
3. I had a couple friends back in the day that were like top tier model good looks that never even had to bother to approach hot women, the hot women just threw themselves at them instead. I was envious for sure, but I wasn't a hater about it. Plus when I was hanging around with those dudes, I got some positive assumptions about my own value (birds of a feather flock together so I must be a high value guy too, right?), and I got the chance to show off my conversational skills with a hotter group of girls than I was used to. Only downside was if the hotter friend decided he wanted one of the girls I wanted, he was hard to beat. But I was always more than willing to settle for the 9 in a group of 10s, whereas without him around i'd be trying to pick up the 8 or 9 in a group of 7s and 8s.

2021-02-17T16:31:31+00:00

I’ve ditched all my “friends” at this point for being losers, and I’ve never managed to find other couples to hang out with who were having a successful relationship, really often ends up in my girlfriend and I watching reality TV in our living room when the other couple starts fighting about whatever, and most of my previous friends couldn’t even get relationships.

Sometimes the real life reality TV can be entertaining, but sometimes it blows when you can’t even get another couple to play some board games with or something. We have abandoned trying to find other people and are just doing our own thing for the time being.

Soon-to-be-Catlady · 2021-02-17T17:01:20+00:00

Hometown girlfriends group, all late 20s, mixed bag: One married to her LTR of 10 years (had 2 LTRs before), one just broke up with her LTR of 13 years (her only), one is a serious serial monogamist who has been in a lot of short relationships since she was 16, and I have had a handful LTRs with several months inbetween but have been single for 5 years, so I am probably the most "unsuccessful" though I have been dating, just didn't find the right guy yet.

The third one is the one I probably compare myself to mostly. I think she attracts quite a lot of men, she's short, pretty, blonde with nice boobs/bum. But somehow she ends up with douchebags all the time, some abusive, some taking hard drugs, one was in a cult. Soo though she's more "successful" in finding a relationship, I don't really envy her. I envy the first friend a little because I am sad it didn't work out with the boyfriend I had at the time when they got together (he broke up with me for not really known reasons).

Flat_Plane_V8 · 2021-02-17T18:30:13+00:00

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majani · 2021-02-17T18:33:05+00:00

My friend group is mostly single guys. 80/20 rule applies. The 80% are either short, fat, ugly or broke. A couple of guys from the 80% use money to solve their problem. I am jealous of one of the 20%ers because he has elite muscle building genetics.

XtoDoubt · 2021-02-17T17:07:12+00:00

My close friends are average frustrated chumps. They get laid occasionally when they're single and have okay relationships when they're in them. I was the same until I found trp.

2021-02-17T17:45:45+00:00

My friends are in their early 50s. I estimate 80% of them are divorced.

Of them. 10% the man broke it off. In 20% it was mutual. In 70% the woman broke it off.

My observation is that the men were unhappy with what their lives had become. Their wives changed into different people. The things they gave up for marriage.

The mutual ones the reasons are varied.

The women were just unhappy with life and need to blame someone, the husband. The childfree ones now claim they wanted children. The lawyer wishes she'd been a doctor. Their are unhappy with their financial status, the husband doesn't earn enough to go to Paris every year. Boredom.

Most were married for 20+ years, none claimed physical abuse oh but the claims of psychological abuse. No claims of infidelity.

S0mnariumx · 2021-02-17T17:28:33+00:00

1) Most of my friends are in stable LTR's and/or have kids. A few have trouble finding a partner but not many. Late 20s/early 30s males

2) My friends that have a hard time its mostly due to their financial situation. There's nothing to really advise them on as they acknowledge they aren't independent right now and that's holding them back.

3) When I was a teenager yeah as an adult I'm pretty indifferent.

jazzlikeAstronaut7 · 2021-02-17T17:44:53+00:00

This is a great question.

First I’ll define “dating success.” Dating success means that, not only do you have the confidence and kindness to treat potential partners well, you also have the self respect to pursue high quality people that treat you well. Anybody can run into a bad dating partner, but not everyone has the knowledge, self respect, and boundaries to let them go early on. So basically if you’re a good person, you’ll typically repel bad people and attract good ones. In terms of dating, this means that you end up in pretty healthy relationships: open communication, mutual respect, good boundaries, commitment, loyalty, no toxic games, etc.

1) My friends are quite successful. Two are married, and the other two are in LTR &will likely marry these guys. I’m the only single one. Not surprisingly, they all had decently healthy relationships with their fathers, while mine was quite toxic. So they never really attracted super toxic partners throughout their search, but I ALWAYS have. I pretty much only had one healthy relationship and am just beginning to understand what they look like/how to be attracted to quality guys.

2) Like I mentioned above, their dating success can be attributed to their attachment styles. They all have pretty secure attachment styles (I.e. not overly jealous, strong boundaries, not constantly insecure about the state of their relationship, comfortable with intimacy but don’t crave it to the point where they can’t leave an abusive partner, okay with being alone until the right one comes along, etc.). My advice to myself would be to learn about your dynamic with your primary caregiver. Essentially, when you have a decent relationship with your father, you tend to pursue men that mimic that relationship dynamic. People do whatever feels comfortable and familiar (even if what’s comfortable and familiar isn’t healthy). My relationship with my dad was a bit chaotic: he constantly critiqued me, gaslighted me, raised his voice, hit me the odd time, and was overall just extremely strict. I ended up dating avoidant men who didn’t truly want to commit, and so I would fight to the death to obtain their approval and love. They were all extremely jealous and controlling. I was mimicking the dynamic I had with my father.

3) I’ve always been happy for my friends. Everybody is conditioned differently and at the end of the day it’s up to ME to pursue good men. Even though I was a naive young girl when I started dating, anyone is smart enough to spot a fuck-boy from a good guy. The problem is that I was attracted only to the fuck boys, then would complain about them later when they abused me. Very common among women...the problem is that, when women are abused by their fathers, they don’t know how to break this cycle because it feels comfortable, familiar, and even addicting at times. The key is to do therapy/psychological observation so that you can unlearn your emotional habits and relearn new, healthier ones. Sometimes I got jealous that my friends never had to undergo this huge emotional healing journey. I was the only one, and while they were always supportive of me, I felt like they couldn’t understand what I was going through. So many times I’ve heard the line “you’re choosing bad partners” and “how can you still love a guy who abused you.” Nobody understands (especially men) unless they’ve gone through it. So yeah I did get a little frustrated and jealous, but i take enough personal responsibility to understand that it’s really no ones fault but my own (given that you’re not a minor who is still super naive and confused).

Comprehensive_Zombie · 2021-02-17T18:32:34+00:00

All of my friends are good at dating. The only reason I could think of any one of my friends going through a “dating dry spell” would be because they don’t put themselves out there for whatever reason. I feel like any one of my friends could get a boyfriend if they wanted one, including me. We are all in our early 20s and live in big cities, so that definitely plays a role.

rosesonthefloor · 2021-02-17T16:41:26+00:00

Of my two best friends, one is married, and one is engaged. They’ve each been with their partners for 4+ years.

I had two girls I was friends with who weren’t as successful. One was just weird lol, the other was nice but had really high expectations. Both found people - by finding someone just as weird, and lowering expectations, respectively. So they did alright! The weird girl is getting married soon, too. The other girl has been dating her bf for maybe 8 months.

While I don’t have issue finding dates, I’ve definitely had more of a challenge finding someone to marry/settle down with, mostly due to the fact that I’m intelligent and kinky and want the best of both worlds (vanilla exterior, fun insides). I do feel a bit jealous sometimes of my friends, but I’m more happy for them than anything!

I’m mid-20s, so I’m not too worried about it. I also have arguably the best career out of all of them, barring maybe the weird girl.

2021-02-17T17:42:47+00:00

This one really runs the gamut. I have guy friends who are players, and I have guy friends who really struggled for years before finding “the one” and they seem happy with her.

My girl friends also really vary - my best friend growing up is now a scumfuck degenerate who has sex for drugs; she has no problem finding FWB’s but has had only one relationship (to her credit it was longterm, but also very abusive). My other female friends have zero issue getting into LTR’s, but one has a bad habit of being unfaithful (cheated on two, hid that she has OnlyFans from one).

I’ve been both the friend who was unsuccessful, and have a friend who is unsuccessful. I give him the same advice I learned myself: Just keep on living, keep on growing without worrying about whether or not you’ll get the girl in the end. Ironically, you tend to get more dates when you’re least concerned about getting dates, in my experience. Both our biggest flaws were being judgmental and closed-off; it surely helps to be open-minded. Though I may not be in an LTR I have little trouble finding women now, and he’s locked down his first relationship for about a year now so we’ve got hope.
Somewhat. I used to be very envious of my one very “successful” player friend until I realized just how much effort he was putting in (seriously, that shit was life consuming for relatively little payoff), and I actually just started to pity him when I realized that he was doing it to fix a heartless void, was ruining his mind and body with drugs, and it was all a cope for a damaged ego that didn’t know how to love. He’s now in a loving relationship, but it’s taken a while to get there.

Never really felt that way about any of the others; my thoughts on it are either happy that they found a decent partner, or feeling bad for whichever guy was unlucky enough to land with the OF model who cheats.

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geyejoe7 · 2021-02-17T17:15:14+00:00

I'm young. 21.

I'm engaged.

My best friend had a 4 year relationship, and now has a much better 1 year relationship.

Best female friend 3 years and going strong.

Other friends either:

don't date
had multiple short term unsuccessful relationships

SeriousMaintenance76 · 2021-02-17T17:37:30+00:00

You know for the longest time I have been the only one in a committed relationship, but with covid my friends have started to settle down. I think we are all just reaching that age were we are ready to settle. Mind you most of my friends are gay, except one other one. I believe that is why they struggle to find someone. They have a smaller pool, especially in the locations they live in. I definitely give lots of advice, but in most cases it just timing. No, I was the first to get into a relationship. I never envy someone else's either.

eisenkatze · 2021-02-17T18:02:46+00:00

I'm a 30s female.

My close friends are a really mixed bag. We have very different lifestyles and goals. From the few I talk to during quarantine: one is in a great stable relationship, another in a decent one, one is a lonely and frustrated lesbian, one is in an abusive relationship, one is too fucked up right now to even think about men, one is polyamorous and dating whoever she wants, including a couple.
My lesbian friend just doesn't have a wide enough social circle to meet other lesbians and isn't very attractive anyway. Style tips would get my head bitten off. The abused one I tried to encourage to meet other partners since she's very attractive, but she kept going back cause of no self esteem... the one who's fucked up has other things to worry about. Generally I prefer to play matchmaker rather than give advice but I haven't been meeting too many new people this year for obvious reasons. I don't believe anyone is a lost cause though.
I used to be jealous of pretty much everyone else back when I was an autistic teenaged mess scared even to look at men. I was especially salty when someone dated the guys who'd shown an interest in me FIRST but I was too retarded to respond. (the cringe is real) I've eventually had an average-high success. I'm now with the best guy I've ever met or heard of so there's no one in the world to be jealous of.

LeatherDifference583 · 2021-02-17T18:08:06+00:00

Literally noone in my close friend group and wider friend group complains about the dating market.

They have a few flings and ONSs, have relationships, have their heart broken and start again. Such is life.

One of my friends said he hasn't been laid in three years but he moves 'glacial'. Once he actually put an effort in, he met a nice lady on bumble.

hopemoom · 2021-02-17T18:27:18+00:00

I work retail and my coworkers are my social circle. The ones around my age (late 20s to early 30s) have even single/coupled people. Some singles are single parents and their dating life is nonexistent. Some unmarried people are in LTR and have kids or house together but not married yet. Some single guys are way too into video games to get normal partners. The geeky guys only attract geeky girls but geeky girls aren't always attractive so geeky guys don't hit on them. It's usually the young men that are single compared to young women here. I'm a single woman but I don't look for partners at work so people think I'm married.

speakofthedea · 2021-02-17T19:07:39+00:00

We'll say for my response that "success" means able to get into relationships often and easily, and yes I'm only speaking of my female friends.

1) My friends are very successful in dating. All of them have had a myriad of partners, and a wide range of relationship types, from hookups to LTRs.

2) Genuinely, I don't think I have any female friends who I would consider unsuccessful.

3) Even given that I am also successful with relationships, I have felt envious at times of my friends, and I know they have felt the same way toward me. My friends have said of me and one other girl in our group that "everyone" gets a crush on us, so that's one instance. However I have also envied my friends for the types of relationships they are able to have - for instance, I have never been good at hooking up like some of my friends, so there were definitely times when I was single that I felt weirdly envious of my friends who could. I have envied my friends for seeming closer to their partners or seeming to do more with them; they have envied me for having an affinity with picking HVPs that aren't abusive/manipulative/etc. All of this being said, i have great relationships with my friends, and we openly talk about things like this - it's not some of us sneaking around to the others to talk shit about their partners or relationships or mope about how jealous we are. Just a known, and I think normal, amount of envy from time to time.

sweetlike314 · 2021-02-17T19:15:03+00:00

1.)Just how successful are your friends In dating?

Back in college, i had a few different friend groups and it seemed like most people didn't have a problem dating. However, there was always a couple of people who had a tough time, which may have been partially due to being less outgoing than some of the others or a bit less attractive. After college, friend groups shifted based on location and there were work friends and other friends. Again, most didn't have a hard time dating with the exception of one or two who a bit more socially awkward or overshadowed by others. Right now, pretty much all are married or in longterm relationships.

2.) If you have a friend or friends who is unsuccessful, what would you say is the biggest reason? Have you ever tried to give advice or help that person? Are they a lost cause in your eyes?

It varied depending on the friends around the person. In one group, the guy with the least luck dating was indeed, the one who was least conventionally attractive despite being a fantastic guy (he is now happily married). But in another, there was a guy who was fairly attractive but his friends were quite a bit more interesting so he was eclipsed often. Another good friend of mine is beautiful and smart but so extraordinarily shy that she avoids most situations where she could have met new people and when she does, she feels awkward and doesn't always give things a chance. None of them were ever lost causes and the first two guys are happily married now.

3.)If you have had or have friends that are much more successful than you have you ever been jealous/envious? I haven't ever had a hard time dating. Meeting people has been easy but taking that next step to compatibility and LTR is the one that takes time and is a process. Also, my dating goals have changed over the years with what I look for in a partner. In my early 20's being a fun to go dancing with was a priority. Now, I want to build a life with someone.

2021-02-17T19:43:48+00:00

I have a ton of friends. They are all different marital/relationship status. We hang out with no problem. I was married, then single, now have a bf and my group of friends stayed the same. I also don't have an idea of "relationship success". Different people are happy in different statuses, it's not all black and white

2021-02-17T19:55:26+00:00

1.)Just how successful are your friends In dating?

I'm late 40's. My close friends are all Average Frustrated Chumps. They are either married for 20+ years and get laid on monthly time scales (if they are lucky), are divorced and typically in LTRs where the same-age women they are dating are trying very hard to get a ring, or are men who have had about 2-3 sexual partners in their entire life as they bump up against 50 years old. I do not consider any of these outcomes "successful," and I doubt very much they would either.

The women who are my closest friends are either the wives of these men, are my current or former co-workers, or are friends from childhood. I know that at least 4 of them have cheated on their husbands. I have known roughly a dozen of them for something like 75% of our lives, and I know they all have much higher n-counts than their husbands (either current or divorced).

2.) If you have a friend or friends who is unsuccessful, what would you say is the biggest reason? Have you ever tried to give advice or help that person? Are they a lost cause in your eyes?

The relative success of my close male friends is so much more similar than dissimilar in every case. I.e. the spread from most successful to least successful is small.

3.)If you have had or have friends that are much more successful than you have you ever been jealous/envious?

The most successful men I have ever known are not my close friends. I find them, as a group, to be boring at best and downright unpleasant to be around at worst.

I'm jealous of the ability of every woman I know to get sex.

dirtyhippie62 · 2021-02-17T19:56:27+00:00

My 3 best girlfriends and I are all in completely different stages of dating despite being close in age. The oldest of us is married and was married for a year before we all met, she’s 27. She’s only ever dated her husband. Me, the second oldest at 25 is casually dating someone of almost a year, happily, after deliberately pursuing very fun short term, non-traditional relationships, to put it lightly. The second youngest of us at 23 has never dated seriously before for religious reasons and has only just now been on a total of 3 dates with online people (pre-covid) and none of them were successful. The youngest of us at 22 is recently engaged to her fiancé whom she’s been dating since middle school. They’ve ever only dated each other. Getting married in 2022. Idk which of these are successes and which are failures, I think those labels aren’t appropriate as each of these could be seen as successes and failures depending on your perspective. Either way the thesis is we are all in vastly different stages of dating, have very different histories, very different definitions of love, very different approaches to courtship, none of us are the same. And we are the best of friends, I’ll know these women for my whole life. I don’t consider anyone winners or losers, we’re just navigatig love at our own speeds on our own time and supporting each other through it all.

DebatePony · 2021-02-17T20:07:19+00:00

All of my friends are either married or engaged.
I don't really have any friends who are not in a committed relationship.
I'm perfectly happy with where my life is. My husband is the bees knees, our dog is such a good, and our child is cuter than Grogu.

Ghost_Hound · 2021-02-17T20:49:10+00:00

I'm in my early 30s and my friends are essentially split between musicians, some martial artists (although that's not really a community I'm a part of any longer due to losing interest in it) and nerds. This will only cover my male friends as my female friends probably have more nuanced situations that are more difficult to pin down and I'm feeling lazy.

Musicians always get laid. Period. This is common knowledge. I know this is anecdotal but as long as I was in a band (especially bands with a majority female audience) I never had trouble having a bevy of options of partners. I know outright disgusting dudes who bat routinely out of their league because of being musical. This is a bit hindered by the pandemic but some people with guitars in their Tinder profile still manage to tip the scales in their favor. When this ends, these lockdowns and such, live musicians are gonna be swimming in it once more. I look forward to this greatly, myself. Playing guitar makes a 5'7 Short King like myself swing like a 6'8 man, I swear.

Martial Artists for the most part have an easy time provided they aren't *that guy* about it. I don't chill with those dudes as much as I once did because of the martial art I did (Kali Escrima) being so closely married to weapons culture in general and that came with a lot of hardcore political conspiracy fuckery. I try and remove myself from the mire of politics in my life and those gentlemen took it personally when I didn't actively take their side. When I was in their orbit, though, they tended to do reasonably well in dating.

The nerds... I'm a huge table top roleplay dude. D&D and the like delight me. Fantasy and sci-fi novels delight me. Most of my nerdy friends, while genuine bros and people with whom I love to spend an afternoon rolling dice pretending we're on medieval quests in our 30s, are predictably abysmal with dating. One of them is sort of the "alpha nerd" in that he practices HEMA (sword fighting reconstructionism), is in shape and has long hair like a fucking elf. He can command good success in dating nerdy ladies. This is made doubly true by the fact that he makes a lot of money at his predictably computer science gig at a local university. Beyond him, though, they're either super single or with women who they're honestly not attracted to.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-02-17T20:53:05+00:00

It's a mix, out of who I consider my close friends I'm the only one that hasn't been married, and it's going to stay that way hopefully lol

But one of my friends that I'm still close with from high school has already been married and divorced twice, she swears she won't do it again but I'm not buying it, my brother got married young, but he's been in the military for the past 20 years looking at his personality I guess I shouldn't have been shocked

2021-02-17T21:03:21+00:00

I'm pretty much the odd one out. I can probably say that my upbringing was not typical of most people and it's had an impact on who I choose to speak with. The few close friends that I have are either married or were married and don't really have problems finding interest from the opposite sex, as far as I can tell. I mostly do not engage with other people by choice.

Subtlevibes · 2021-02-17T21:16:05+00:00

I have about 5 close friends. They are all scattered around, been in all their weddings except the most recent who cancelled his cuz of covid. I'm the only one left single.

cloudsongs_ · 2021-02-17T21:20:53+00:00

Most of my friends here are successful but only a couple friends I know from back home are in LTRs

I would say the biggest reason they are unsuccessful is because of the pandemic, not wanting serious relationships, experiencing a breakup currently, or it's just not a priority in their life rn..

No. I have a friend here who is engaged after 1.5 years of dating and I seriously couldn't be happier for her. It's amazing to find the right person to date and then marry so good for her. I'm not jealous or envious because it's just one of things that I'll be happy to have if it comes mg way but will find other means of happiness if it doesn't

ayeayefitlike · 2021-02-17T21:26:23+00:00

By this point, most of my female friends are in long term relationships, engaged or married. I can think of only two who aren’t, one of whom ended a long term relationship right before the first lockdown.

pre-DrChad · 2021-02-17T21:44:06+00:00

My friend group is so mixed. I have friends that are incels and friends that are Chads, so I get to see all sides of dating. I’m somewhere in the middle, I’m just a normie with a normie dating life.

2021-02-17T21:59:55+00:00

I flit between several social groups and each has varying degrees of success with dating/romance/sex etc.

The girls obviously have been doing much better, but my closest group of guy friends are starting to come into their own. As far as I know, none of them are familiar with red or blue pill ideas and most of them just wanna find the right guy or girl and settle down, or date around in the more traditional way. As far as i know, I'm the only one more interested in hookups and casual relationships at the moment. This might change as I go back to school (physically, COVID lockdowns have forced everything online) and I might develop a group of friends more interested in casual stuff.

2021-02-17T22:19:06+00:00

Not very. They can get LTRs occasionally if they settle hard for women they’re lukewarm about.
Height and looks are the biggest reasons they’re not with the women they want. That and women’s superficiality.
Yes definitely. Tall, handsome guys enjoy far superior lives to the rest of us. They get about 10% of the privilege that beautiful women enjoy.

2021-02-17T22:42:22+00:00

1) My best friend is a confirmed bachelor who gets side action all the time. He's private about it tho. My brothers - one is verified bachelor and the other divorced.

2) We had a 40 y.o. virgin type in our crew once. Lack of experience with women? Divorced parents? Siblings that struggled with relationships? Nice guy syndrome? Unrealistic expectations? Who can say really.

3) Nope. Well... maybe a TINY bit with this one Chad fucker. This guy attracted women so easily and they fucked him usually the night they meet this guy. He was totally dark Triad - a Bundy type. This could could get a bus full of nuns wet at 2000 yards.

But generally I don't envy people. I see people with higher SMV doing well in the SMP and I'm like "That's how the SMP works!". I know I could raise my own SMV quite a few points and try again, but even at my optimal SMV I'm probably not going to find the kind of partner I want anyways. Plus, I find 95% of the "relationship stuff" with women to be a big dramatic mind numbing pain in the ass.

I'm exercising again - cutting back on the booze. Maybe I'll get in shape and hit up some 12-step programs and find me a nice FWB spinner with daddy issues.

Fuck-n-'A'.

TottenhamAreShit21 · 2021-02-17T22:49:53+00:00

Nearly all my friends are fuckboys/slayers. I’m serious.

And here I am having never had a girlfriend

Naus1987 · 2021-02-17T22:54:31+00:00

My best friend just had a divorce from a 15 year relationship this past summer. I remember it blowing my mind that he initiated it as a guy, so he was going against that trend of women normally initiating a divorce.

I don’t want to post his reasons publically, but they were logical rational reasons (to me).

I have another friend who was a typical “nice guy” in high school and college, and got married to an absolutely train wreck of a woman. I don’t know how he does it. I don’t think he’s happy on the inside, but maybe he is. When you want something bad enough you throw away your standards. I respect his choices even if they confuse me. He’s been married for 5 years now.

All my other friends have been single and enjoying life with casual relationships.

I’m not really jealous of any of them. But I did look up to my one friend’s 15 year marriage. It totally caught me off guard when he announced the divorce. But the older I get the more cynical I see the Disney romance.

—-

Out of all of my coworkers, everyone seems to be roughly compromising, and no one seems over the moon with their relationship. Which is a real shame.

In sharp contrast, my parents just celebrated their 40th anniversary, and they still hold hands in public and buy each other gifts. My dad openly writes cheesy poetry to my mom on Facebook. And my mom always surprises him with creative meals. They’re traditionally, but happier than anyone else I know, lol.

throwaway48448135729 · 2021-02-17T23:05:38+00:00

Not very successful to be honest. Fairly decent looking guys, fit, well educated with good careers and lifestyles, they can't get any match either if not in the realm of whaleland. It's easy to think is only you when you don't talk about it but the moment you do is as easy to see that other men have the exact same experience. The ones that are in relationships are with someone way below their looksmatch (and they simp too).

DP8414 · 2021-02-17T23:14:41+00:00

I think that rule applies more to social class and culture than dating success. My close friends are all in a similar income bracket, but I'm much less successful then them. One guy is married to a legit, absolute Stacy (like, close to a 10/10 in terms of facial attractiveness), and another guy, although he's divorced, had a kid from that marriage and has been with numerous women. He even told me that when he was in highschool, it was hard for him not to have sex due to the social circles he ran in.

I do notice that in Churches, everyone tends to be married with kids, so maybe that's one example where everyone's friends all have similar success. And I also know a group of guys who were best friends in highschool and who are all bitter incel types. But I think overall, regardless of your circle of friends, dating and sex comes down to inherent characteristics: Introversion vs. extroversion, looks, and desirable personality traits (not Nice Guy stuff). Some men have those, some men don't.

If you have a friend or friends who is unsuccessful, what would you say is the biggest reason? Have you ever tried to give advice or help that person? Are they a lost cause in your eyes?

They have bad attitudes towards life, and they don't put themselves out there. They also aren't conventionally attractive. I haven't given them advice because I'm in the same boat as them, and also, I don't want to make them feel bad. I guess we are all lost causes, in that sense.

If you have had or have friends that are much more successful than you have you ever been jealous/envious?

In the case of the guy who married the Stacy, there is indeed something that bothers me: He now preaches monogamy and condemns degeneracy to me, even though he was a player before he dated her, and even though he only started dating her in the first place after dumping some THOT he found on Tinder...who fell in love with him. By his own admission, she was "crushed" that he dumped her, but he said he couldn't see himself marrying her like he could the Stacy that he eventually did marry. His wife's BFF said at the wedding that she didn't trust him at first because she (correctly) thought he was a player. His body count is easily in the double digits, although he hasn't said how many.

I'm okay with my friends being more sexually successful then me, but I'm not okay when a man who lived in degeneracy throughout his teens and early 20s all of the sudden gets married to a woman who, frankly, is too good for him, and then I get lectured about my own "degeneracies" that I engage in with other couples. I honestly don't think sexually successful (high body count) men have any right to condemn others for "degeneracy" just because we express our sexuality through alternative means.

As long as they own their actions and don't presume to tell me what not to do in the bedroom, then no, I'm not jealous over it. It's just this one scenario that pissed me off.

KurkTheMagnificent · 2021-02-17T23:59:47+00:00

22M volcel virgin. I have very few friends I still regularly engage with---meaning I talk to them once or twice a year. All are my age +/- 2 years

- One is an accountant. Very soft-spoken; east-European immigrant living in America. Average physicals. Not in LTR. Tells me he hits on women, but I am not aware of any success he has/had.

- Another is a Indian medical student. Very Blue-Pilled. Below average in looks. Has a great personality. I know he is good with talking to women, but again am not aware of any success he may have had. Often talks to me about getting married ASAP, so take that for what it's worth. He is very influenced by his culture.

- Third is a cop/exercise junkie. Good physicals but on the shorter side. Think Hank Schraeder from breaking bad, or even Brucie Kibbutz from GTA. Good personality and very outgoing. Has had several gfs.

I have not offered any advice aside from hinting to RedPill themes when they bring up marriage. For example I will advocate for investing all your money now when you're young, and they'll bring up how that's not feasible when they marry, even though they're currently single. I'll then respond with questioning what their priorities are.

I understand RedPill is "hard to swallow" so I don't share it with my friends cold turkey. Just allude to certain themes when they bring up the topic. I'd rather keep the friendship.

I am not jealous of my friends...we are all in the shitty part of life right now.

mechanical_elves · 2021-02-18T00:00:43+00:00

I have some friends who are and have been wildly successful all their lives, and some who I personally consider unsuccessful due to the outcomes.

Most unsucessful ones - they always believe bloopy bullshit and get sucked into a bad deal that they end up regretting.

Successful ones - not really envious or jealous, it's not their fault women are the way they are.

SeemedGood · 2021-02-18T00:05:41+00:00

I have befriended a wide gamut of people from high society to “low places.” Amongst my friends there’s a stark dichotomy.

Those few who were or would be considered “Chad/Tyrone” or the “lite” versions in their social groups do OK (either single and happily mingling or in decent long-lasting LTRs with women who respect them). Everybody else struggles with taking whatever they can get (usually women who aren’t totally into them).

Interestingly, there has been virtually no divorce among the Chad/Tyrone (and lite version) crew with 1%er and above type resources and pretty much all divorce at some point with everybody else.

2021-02-18T01:48:30+00:00

I feel like this is really going to vary by age and gender, tempered by how social the person is. As an extro mid 40s female, my friends run the gamut, it’s hard to say. I’ve given and gotten advise, been jealous and had others be jealous...this must be a question for young introverts, I’ll just see myself out

2021-02-18T01:57:38+00:00

Let's see: Married. A man-child and manwhore. Struggling but altogether fun guy with mild success. Long term relationship (10 years, met young). Long term relationship with 95% chance of marriage. Cuffed tech nerd with biology nerd 3rd gf. Long distance chinese gf 1st. Popular guy with gf. A piece shit manwhore who tried to get with my cousin whilst being strung along by a hoe. No relationship yet single dude. Man child with asian-ghetto gf. Single dude with bad history of rejection. Single awkward chump who used to get decent attention by being good looking (he's really overweight now). Single cuz he cheated on his gf (he's a loser but was my roommates brother). Single but he's cool with it. Married. Devout muslim, single. Cuffed depressed guy who finally got the lovey dovey stuff he was looking for. Popular guy who is now a soldier and still making rounds.

Female Long term with weird guy. Promiscuous but in an open relationship with a good dude and presumably has not acted in the open part yet cuz she's satisfied. Lesbian long term with 2nd gf. Devout catholic virgin popular with guys but now in a committed relationship. Popular now cuffed with marriage prospect. Several semi popular girls but didnt want relationships. Several bad relationships due to bad taste.

7ish who were good with women but those are married or very close to it or are manwhores. 7 ish have had mild success. 4 ish have had a bad time including yours truly with only one ex.

All the women I'm close with always had "suitors" of some sort. Those who actively tried to date are either promiscuous or in committed ltr.

mtapg · 2021-02-18T04:33:58+00:00

3 out of 4 of my closest female friends are in relationships. Couple A married 2yrs ago, Couple B got engaged last yr, Couple C friend had talked about getting engaged for 1yr and bf hasn’t taken action.

I’ve only been envious when I’m going through a breakup or involved with a dirty dog-like man. (I’m guilty of bad taste). Otherwise I just have insane admiration of couple A and B because of how they met and how much they’ve grown together

-Cue subtle flex in how amazing my friends are-

Couple A- friend was a waitress recently out of abusive relationship overindulging in alcohol and unsafe sex and her husband was a full time student on his second or third degree while working full time night shifts for a casino trolly. She told him “no strings attached fuck off” and he said “that’s fine but I want you to be my gf” and pursued her in a gentlemanly and earnest way. He’s now graduated with 5 degrees working at some big oil company making high 6 figure salary and she works at a bank as a loan officer(?)

Couple B- met for coffee, she wanted to hook up that night and he said no. They got to know each other, partied, did drugs, got in trouble and then eventually reinvented themselves, went to college, worked out, worked hard. Now one runs a tech summer camp for kids and the other is a life coach.

—————End Subtle Flex—————

I definitely think that having ppl who are successful in relationships is important bc they obvs understand empathy, communication, and compromise in an intimate relationship. You can’t necessarily look in their relationships with a microscope to solve your issues but hanging out with them and seeing how they interact can give a good lead on how to treat and understand your partner. My friend once said “yea he always forgets stuff like that but I mean he’s got adhd and even though I hate it and it’s annoying I can’t blame him for it. But I can tell him how it’s making me feel and let it go.” It made me raise my standards in finding a partner who will understand me from a lender of unconditional love but also in respecting my boundaries without ignoring differences/frustrations.

TLDR; yes I think it’s important to have close friends who are in healthy relationships to set examples and support you when you’re going through hard times in your relationships

Pappu2021 · 2021-02-18T04:34:18+00:00

I am a 5’ 0 Indian girl who has been pretty successful and I have high standards currently have 6’2” white man with broad shoulders as my bf.

My brother is currently a student, he is average weight but somewhat introverted and short (5’3”) so doesn’t have any success with women

I have 3 girlfriends 1 brown 2 white all of us are in the final year of Uni , the white ones are average looking somewhat in the heavier side , the Indian girl is quite skinny but painfully so ( under weight ) she is also tall , the white girls have bfs who are in the similar league as them , the Indian girl can’t get past a few dates

Never

Jakes1967 · 2021-02-18T04:45:25+00:00

Just how successful are your close friends in dating/romance?

The men that are:

married, have been so for decades
dating, are over 35 and financially independent, thus pretty sought after.

Although, I do have 2 female friends, who are single and over 40, their dating lives require an excellent triage team and life support.

2021-02-18T05:57:03+00:00

I’ve got my core group which consists of 5 girls including myself. One has been with her high school sweetheart since they were 14 (both 25 now). Both each other’s first everything, however they’re still just dating and both live at home with their parents and she’s creeping into ‘forever girlfriend’ territory.

Another spent a couple of years just fucking around and having fun with guys, she got into her first relationship at 23 and now is 25 married and pregnant.

Next we have our residential lesbian who tried really hard to sleep around and fuck a lot of women but 2 months in to her fuckgirl lifestyle moved in with a girl that was supposed to be a one night stand (such a cliche lesbian move). They now have a house and 3 dogs and a savings account for artificial insemination.

Last friend is a career obsessed workaholic and she is 24, has never been in a relationship and has literally had sex twice. Two drunken one night stands that she blocked directly after fucking because she’s worried that men and sex will distract her from building her empire. She’s very high strung. She’s been going gym religiously since she was 16 and holy shit the woman has a body to die for. She gets so much attention. And she is so unimpressed by it. She’s the baddest bitch I know.

I’ve been a serial monogamist for the most part, and I have envied all of them at one point or another (grass is always greener!). My first friend for finding her ‘soulmate’ at such a young age, it was so nice seeing them grow up together, sharing all these firsts and just entering adulthood knowing you have a partner who is 100% there for you. Second friend for how fun, confident and daring she was and always went for what she wanted and knew how to get it. Friend 3 because... the thought ‘I wish I was a lesbian’ is quite common and even now it’ll creep up on me. And last friend due to how little she cares, how little power it holds over her life.

These things I envy though always come with negatives and it’s important for us to remember that. We tend to focus on other people’s good and compare it to our bad and that’s just unhealthy and not very realistic.

strangermaly · 2021-02-18T06:23:26+00:00

Not similar at all, in fact asymetrically so.

1) My male friends just pretty much going their own way. My female friends are consistently attached and reattached to a new guy once the previous is not "compatible".

2) For my male friends, biggest consistency to me is they're a fucking doormat. They put women on a pedestal to win over and have zero value add to their lives and their own. As a man, you need to generate value through your ambitions and passions and look for a woman who can add value to your life. They pretty much turn down this advice and continue to do the same, getting stepped on if a woman shows vague interest in them.

3) I have a male acquaintance who laid a lot of women. Good for him but I don't really care. Sure I have some envy that he could do that but I'm not willing to bust my ass just to chase women. I have ambitions to accomplish and would rather have a low n count woman to support me through my trials and tribulations.

Carkudo · 2021-02-18T10:06:10+00:00

Aside from myself, I only know one guy who is struggling. He used to get girls because of his big fluffy teddy bear vibe, but he just never stopped getting fatter and fatter. Now he's YUGE and we're all older, so women aren't interested in him. I'm sure he would be posting in incel forums of he knew English.

Sufficient-Ad-3586 · 2021-02-18T15:14:10+00:00

26 M.

Slayed throughout high school and late teens. Girl he was with was smoking hot but hasn’t been with anyone since he was 19. He always tells me the girl he was with was the one who got away. Sad cause I can tell he never really moved on from her.

27 M.

Guy gets girls in bed easily, has fucked over 30 women since he is heavily into the party/club scene. Threesomes, BDSM, drug fueled fuck sessions you name it. He is the typical bad boy. Has never had a romantic relationship though, only ONS. He said he’s grown bored of the hookup scene but his decade of hooking up combined with zero relationship experience sabotages any chance he gets. A lot of women are turned off by his promiscuous past.

26 M.

Known this guy since we were kids and he’s always wanted to have a wife and kids. Super nice guy too and not bad looking either but kind of socially awkward. He got rejected all throughout his youth (and not from lack of trying, dude went on dozens of dates that never led to anything) the girls he met just weren’t into the idea of an LTR and just wanted something causal which he didn’t believe in.

When he turned 25 after a decade of rejection for LTR he went off the deep end and started whoring around. It sucks though cause now at this age people want to settle down but he no longer wants to.

26 M

Has never even kissed a girl, really successful already making six figures but is not too good in the looks department. Could look good if he worked out. He wants to find someone but is too nervous and has low self esteem.

When I was younger I super jealous of anyone who got a gf or hookup since I was a “nice guy” as a teen and struggled to get any female attention but now I couldn’t care less as I’ve gotten older. Some people are better at things than others and that’s just the way things roll.

ariesv123 · 2021-02-19T06:40:57+00:00

That’s a good question. I wasn’t expecting that question.

towerofcheeeeza · 2021-02-19T11:38:01+00:00

Honestly most of my and my bf's friends are all couples. Like in our friend group, there are 4 couples. There are a few single friends here and there but none of them are really seeking out a relationship. They're all too busy with work or school to bother. I feel like if they actually tried to date it (pre/post-pandemic) it wouldn't be impossible to find someone.

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2021-02-19T13:05:09+00:00

1.)Just how successful are your friends In dating?

Very. They can basically get whatever they want.

2.) If you have a friend or friends who is unsuccessful, what would you say is the biggest reason? Have you ever tried to give advice or help that person? Are they a lost cause in your eyes?

Being born unattractive. Not really, hitting the gym is the best advice. Who knows.

3.)If you have had or have friends that are much more successful than you have you ever been jealous/envious?

Yes. All the time.

LMM-GT02 · 2021-02-22T19:13:31+00:00

It’s pretty much play or get played out here in college. Briffault’s law is observable everyday of my life.

The girls have great lives with inflated egos and the guys are just trying to get some tail without losing their entire ego and all self-respect.

The girls are also conduits of pointless drama and passive aggressive behavior but they are sweet as molasses on the outside.

Player shit and having options absolutely works to game chicks. They flip shit when they lose control and leverage in the relationship and will try to demonize you for doing things they do everyday.

That’s how it be.

Title	[Q4All] Just how successful are your close friends in dating/romance?
Author	MasterTeacher123
Upvotes	58
Comments	186
Date	February 17, 2021 3:01 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/llwd6f/q4all_just_how_successful_are_your_close_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-just-how-successful-are-your-close-friends.1192203 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192203

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