Women look at the men they are dating glass half empty, while men look at them glass half full

GridReXX · 2023-07-11T06:42:49+00:00

Imagine you weren’t compulsorily horny 24/7, not touch-starved (your friends and loved ones hug and snuggle you), and not intimacy starved (you have deep bonds and regular IRL interaction with friends and family).

That is a typical female experience (and especially the typical experience of the type of women men go after).

If you can imagine this, now ask yourself how pressed you would be for “just any woman”?

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-07-11T17:00:21+00:00

This depends more on the individual, not the gender.

Some people are less critical and more optimistic.

I can tell you many of my female friends married to men who dont treat them that well only looked for the positives for the first few YEARS they dated.

RadicalAzrael · 2023-07-11T07:48:43+00:00

The more I read these post the more I realize how lucky I must be as a guy to have a partner that’s nothing like these post.

TonytheNetworker · 2023-07-11T12:03:12+00:00

I do agree that generally speaking women will do whatever to disqualify a guy. "His shirt is too tight" or "I don't like his smile." Women can afford to dismiss hundreds of guys simply for not "being her type."

What I disagree with is men ignoring all red flags for the sake of being with a women. I never contacted a girl again because her apartment was dirty as hell and it turned me off. I could've had sex with her but cleanliness means a lot to me. Another girl wanted to be with me but she cursed too much and was rude to the waitress which, again, turned me off. This resulted in me being single longer but for as horny as I am having some kind of standard is mandatory.

Lysa_Bell · 2023-07-11T06:32:05+00:00

Yesterday's thread. A question for men. "What dating advice do you give women?"

Top comment:

You have to screen for any potential dangers early on with cold head, but it's ok since a lot of women do it already.

MY advice, would be to continue screening for them further into relationship too, because a lot of women look at the person closely only at the beginning, and then wonder why it turned out the way it did

It's always women's fault when they pick a bad guy and ignore red flags. "Should've picked better". If he kills you it's your own fault.

It's not delusional, hypergamy or whatever other negative thing you want to put on women. It's survival and even recommended by other men to be as critical as possible.

It's male privilege to not be too concerned about the red flags they are observing in a potential partner. Good thing for you to recognise that privilege.

KayRay1994 · 2023-07-11T14:06:53+00:00

i don’t think its about options - its about risk. At a biological/physical level, a woman has a lot more to lose than a man. Men are bigger, stronger and can’t get pregnant - and while this isn’t a conscious decision, being skeptical of a potential male partner is beneficial for a woman as she stands to get into some serious trouble if the relationship goes wrong

JNRoberts42 · 2023-07-11T13:31:51+00:00

Men admit they get in relationships with women they are only moderately attracted to because they can't do better, and stay in relationships which aren't healthy because it's too hard to find another woman who will date them.

Women leave because they have more options, men stay because they have fewer and hope they can change that woman into someone who serves their needs better. How many men are in the relationship and sex subs whining because their partner is "too vanilla"? Because she won't do anal or doesn't lose the baby weight in the kid's first year? Because she cut her hair or wears frumpy clothes after work?

They are willing to ignore red flags, look for the positives in all the negatives about the girl, and stick around through bs.

They stick around because they can't do any better and whine and argue because her life doesn't revolve around looking pretty 24/7 and pleasing him sexually.

Novadina · 2023-07-11T06:44:07+00:00

How is seeing the potential in someone “greed, delusion, and a bad attitude”? My partner has told me before that me believing in him gave him increased confidence, that he realized he could accomplish things he didn’t think he could before my encouragement, and how nice it was we had each other to encourage and help each other to be the best we can be and reach our shared goals for our future together. And I know my partner had faith in me that I would be able to improve my mental health and recover from some of the trauma I have from child abuse I have suffered. His belief in me helped me so much and I was able to improve.

Relationships are a partnership - when you have a partnership you are supposed to believe in them and that they have potential for your shared goals. I would personally feel hurt if I thought my man saw no potential in me at all, but was just “taking what he could get”.

obviousredflag · 2023-07-11T08:19:02+00:00

Women look at the men they are dating glass half empty. “What he could be”,

Seeing the potential in someone is looking at it optimisically, seeing it as the glass half full.

Most men don’t have nearly as many options. They are willing to ignore red flags, look for the positives in all the negatives about the girl, and stick around through bs.

That is the worse behavior though. Ignoring red flags and sticking to the bullshit relationship to not be lonely and have no sex is worse than any form of "the grass is greener" behavior of women. Also, why is that red-flag woman sticking to the relationship if you argue that women always look for the better man and are not happy with their current man? Why is she not leaving for a better man? Why does she not have 10 new men lined up to date her?

Odd_Green_3775 · 2023-07-11T09:07:37+00:00

Perhaps true overall but each circumstance is so different. I’ve been on both sides of this while dating

toasterchild · 2023-07-11T14:31:20+00:00

Men might be happier in their LTRs if they started doing the same thing. Staying with someone you barely like isn't a positive.

Gravel_Roads · 2023-07-11T07:19:38+00:00

Way to many guys complain about how they "have to settle" for low quality women for this to be accurate.

ChicktoGo · 2023-07-11T15:31:41+00:00

Man are poop and shit

legend0102 · 2023-07-11T08:48:16+00:00

That’s the result of having less options, and also the effort it takes to get those options to give you a chance.

Ainsleygz · 2023-07-11T12:05:59+00:00

The glass is too big

Hoopy223 · 2023-07-11T14:17:38+00:00

I don’t agree but I understand why a guy would think this way. The number of women I have met who rejected me for bizarre reasons (or bragged about rejecting other guys) is staggering.

A lot of it comes down to self-centeredness and narcissism. If you are single for a long time you become prone to self centered thinking. It’s hard to let other people in. You immediately look for flaws or become annoyed at minor things.

It happens to guys as well but seems to go the other way, turning into a massive inferiority complex or nihilistic fatalism.

Reasonable_Listen514 · 2023-07-11T19:37:01+00:00

Date a woman long enough, seems that all she will see in you are your flaws, and your positives forgotten and disregarded.

twistednormz · 2023-07-11T08:57:17+00:00

Women look for the negative in any positive thing about the dude they are dating,

Do they? Based on what? Sounds like something you just decided is the case.

while guys are constantly trying to find a positive out of the negatives and straight up ignore the negatives

Are they? Based on what? Sounds like something you just decided is the case.

They can end it with a guy and have 10 new ones ready to go out the same day.

As a woman this has never been the case for me. And I think most people, including women would be somewhat sad when a relationship breaks up and probably not ready to move straight onto the next one. In fact, every single guy I've broken up with in my life made the assumption that I already had a new guy lined up and was moving straight on to this imaginary new guy. It wasn't true in any of these cases. In my opinion, this is just something many guys tell themselves so they don't have to do any introspection or work on themselves. Think about it, if you can convince yourself that there was nothing you could have done differently because the woman already had someone "better" than you lined up for a relationship before you had any idea she was going to leave you, then in your mind it's her fault for being "hypergamous", you didn't do anything wrong. Women are just terrible in your scenario.

This is not just them being hypergamous, it is straight up greed, delusion, and a bad attitude.

Sure bud, women are greedy, delusional and have bad attitudes while men of course are selfless, sane and have fantastic attitudes. Are you listening to yourself? There's no way you actually believe this.

Men look at the girl they are dating glass half full. She may not be perfect, but we appreciate what we have and what we can get.

Really? So men never cheat, are never abusive and never end a relationship? They are all appreciative of whatever woman they can get?

BackAgain12345678910 · 2023-07-11T14:24:26+00:00

Yup. I’ve always said that women seek to disqualify men, whereas men seek to qualify women.

Man: she’s crazy, but she’s hot

Woman: he’s a great guy, but I don’t like his green shoes

Gr4nd45 · 2023-07-11T09:16:36+00:00

Men have plenty of options too, it's just most of you guys are so desperate you cling to the first chick who... tolerates you. Too desperate, too eager. It's a turn off.

TRP keeps whining about "looks, status, money"... My dudes, fix your attitude and your game first.

You get into relationships as a bargain, and then complain it ain't going so well... SMH

Tricky_Relief_7152 · 2023-07-11T12:03:52+00:00

When women look for men to date, they look at what they're unattracted to.

When men look for women to date, they look at what they're attracted to.

ExpandUpdog · 2023-07-11T07:01:16+00:00

That’s why we should all look at the glass as half empty 😎

Rhinosaur666 · 2023-07-11T10:55:22+00:00

Stop projecting your own lack of options and sexual success to other men.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2023-07-11T07:07:32+00:00

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lacuti3 · 2023-07-11T06:26:13+00:00

When guys date average or below average girls, they convince themselves they’re attracted to them. They convince themselves they’re happy lol

Chad_Thundercock717 · 2023-07-11T17:16:35+00:00

Guys from this generation have a victim complex. That's the bigger problem. They have no desire to better themselves. No desire to lose weight, get into shape, get a better job, make more money or anything else. They just want to play vidya games and complain about hot women not finding them attractive.

damiandarko2 · 2023-07-11T20:44:42+00:00

if we’re being real, and i’m saying this as a man, most guys are kinda trash. I genuinely believe there are more quality women than there are quality men and i’m not simping white knight etc etc it’s just how I feel

so while women have MORE options, I believe men have more QUALITY options

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SierraMistSoda · 2023-07-11T15:59:43+00:00

Why is it delusion if it happens? Dating is the time for women to be choosy, especially when young with options. Why? Because she wants to find the best she can. If one guy is missing something she wants then she might look for it elsewhere. Men do this too, at least men not in the RP world. They see negatives all the time of why this girl should be in a hookup category vs a dating category. And to get into a "I want to marry this girl" category it's even harder.

dyngladfel · 2023-07-11T17:40:21+00:00

Nah not at all. When I've got it bad I've got it bad. This is just truth you've learnt third hand, it's not how actual women think.

operapeach · 2023-07-11T21:08:24+00:00

“We appreciate what we can get”

Lmfao aw how nice

You guys realize this is not a compliment, right

tinableuu · 2023-07-11T23:14:55+00:00

yes men and women are different we view things differently

kingpinkatya · 2023-07-12T02:04:12+00:00

Not sure I fully agree w this but why is what happens at the earlier stages of dating relevant exactly? Like even if this were true why does it matter?

Either they break up in which case who cares, bad couple/match

Or they stay together and it doesn't matter, right?

Dalton4775829 · 2023-07-12T02:38:37+00:00

Women care about a man's future. Men care about a woman's past.

Yomzie_hun · 2023-07-12T13:12:18+00:00

This war on women is getting too far. What is up with this false generalisation

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